Bobbi Palmer
Official Guide
The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 Expert
Bobbi Palmer Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- dating advice and coaching for women over 40, relationships, finding love after 40,dating for love
- Career Focus
- Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Author
Bobbi Palmer is The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, Founder of Date Like a Grownup, and Champion Love Coach to women around the world. She helps single, smart, independent women find lasting and luscious love; making their already sweet life even juicer.
Bobbi is more than a coach, she is her own dating success story since becoming a first time bride at age 47. She describes her marriage as "the yummy icing on her already great cake" and prides herself on practicing what she teaches every single day.
Bobbi, known as “The Compassionate Truth Teller,” addresses the unique challenges of dating over 40 with a balance of honesty, sensitivity and a sense of humor. She is a regular contributor to Huffington Post, Match.com, Yahoo Shine, YourTango and eHarmony.com and many other go-to resources for women who want to bring love into their lives.
If you want to find that man who loves and adores you for the rest of your life, joi Bobbi for her Grownup Girls’ Night Out FREE monthly webcasts. Get a ton of expert, juicy, must-have information and advice about men, dating, sex and relationships…all free and from the comfort of your own home. Click here to learn more and register.
Free Articles & Book Excerpts
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
***What Are Your Dating and Relationship Rules
Have you ever asked yourself this question: What are my rules for dating and relationships? What are my boundaries, what must I do, and what must I have? And what will I simply not tolerate in myself or in others? Too often I talk to women who stayed in unfulfilling relationships or have a history of dating jerky men. When I ask questions and get their story, here's what it is usually about: the man was interested so they went along. They thought that he was all they could have, they didn't want to hurt his feelings, they just wanted a man in their life…there are several reasons.
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***Why You're Dating and Not Finding Quality Men
Dating can be a real pain in the butt, right? It can be a lot of work that leads to a lot of nothing. I conducted a survey recently and asked women what their biggest challenge was when they date. The #1 response was: I’m not meeting quality men. Can you relate?? I hear this from women all the time. I’m tired of meeting losers. All the good ones are gay or taken. All the men I meet are bald, boring, messy, sex-crazed, they are too this, not enough that. And the most common: I just don’t feel a spark with any men I’m meeting.
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***Dating Tip: First Decide Whether You Like Him
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving that I turn into a withdrawn ball of mush.
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***Are You What's Holding You Back from Finding Love?
Why do we hold on to the man who isn’t good for us, our feelings of insecurity and being less-than, or our pattern of picking jerks and liars? These are all self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs, and intellectually we know it. Yet we cling on for dear life, feeling powerless over our unfortunate circumstance.
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***When Do Men Expect to Have Sex With Us? A Single Man's Response
I get asked this question constantly. Women who are dating want to know this; especially women who are divorced and over 40, and haven’t been dating for some time. They also want to know how they can tell if sex is all he wants. Good questions. The truth is that whether you’re dating at 20, 40, or 70 you’re going to question how long you should wait – and he will wait – before you get intimate. And you certainly want to be able to spot the guys who just want to hop in the sack and then go on to the next gal.
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***Why It Can Be a Good Thing When He Goes Cave-bound
Last week a smart, thoughtful woman left a comment on my post about Dating the Somewhat Disappearing Man. These are the guys I call “pingers” because they ping you (or contact you) just often enough to make sure you’re there when they need or want you. They keep you attached and interested, and often get in touch when it’s time for some sex. She asked such a good question, I want to share it with all of you. Here goes:
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***The Secret to Being a Happy Dater
Why is it that when we date — even at 40, 50, or 60 — we can become an alien woman from planet WTF? If you’re anything like I was, it’s sometimes difficult to recognize yourself when you’re in the presence of a hot, nice, or simply available man. The beliefs and habits of our 25 or 30 year old can be hard to shake. Here’s what I finally learned, that I want you to know: You are a grownup woman. You know who you are, what you want, and you’re in charge in the other parts of your life, right?
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***How You Can Help Men Make You Happy
If you don’t ask…you don’t get. I think this is the key to being happy with men. It’s one of my Dad’s favorite lines. I heard it so often growing up that it’s now a mantra in my already overloaded brain. Dad’s premise was that it is your responsibility to state what you want, and then give people a chance to give it to you. If you don’t ask for something, there’s a good chance you won’t get it. And if you don’t, it’s not the potential giver’s fault; it’s yours.
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***Please Be Kind to Frogs
Think about the clever line we women often use: it takes some form of “I’ve kissed so many frogs I’ve got the warts to prove it!” or “How many frogs do I have to kiss before I find my prince?” You know what I’m talking about. It’s cute, and although we don’t really laugh at it, it tends to ease some of our feelings of disappointment and rejection. Let’s face it: after years of dating with no spectacular man to show for it, we have to tell ourselves something to help explain away the fact that we’re still “alone.”
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***Online Dating: How to Get Started and Make it Work
As if dating and mating wasn’t hard enough, technology has added a variety of new challenges to the art of hooking up. Not only do you have to master the computer crud, you have to figure out how to actually connect with another human being amidst the volume and the anonymity.
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***Do You Actually Know When You're Being Rejected?
Rejection can be a very good thing. Until you find the man who brings you the love and joy you deserve, you should thank the men who reject you. These men are doing you a favor. I think they know – consciously or not – that they won’t be able to give you what you need; and they know it before you do. I blogged about this last week. If you haven’t, you should read Why You Should Be Happy When a Man Rejects You. One of my spectacular coaching clients commented on that post today. And basically she said that she hoped the man she is stuck on rejects her. I say he already has.
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***The Truth About Reading Men’s Minds – And Quieting Yours
If you’re a woman who tends to over think and over analyze (and let’s face it…what woman doesn’t?) I want to advise you when it’s appropriate to do so about men: N-E-V-E-R! Oh how we love to dwell in conversations with ourselves about all kinds of fascinating things. Is he attracted to me, what will I do if he does/does not call, what signal was he trying to send when he did this/didn’t do that, what did he really mean when he said…?
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Bobbi Palmer
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives your courage. Lao Tzu
"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment" ~~Lao Tzu
“Intuition is truly a feminine quality, but women should not mistake rash conclusions for this gift.” Minna Antrim
Contacting Bobbi Palmer
Contact Bobbi at bobbip@DateLikeaGrownup.com or call 562.608.8685 to talk about if my coaching is right for you and to schedule your complimentary 30 minute coaching session.
How to get started
You can take my FREE Man-o-Meter test and learn more about how I can help you Find Hope and then Find Him at http://www.datelikeagrownup.com. Read my expert (been-there-done-that) advice and tips, and can get more information about how I can support you.
Other highlights
Take Bobbi’s FREE and fun Man-O-Meter test at www.DateLikeaGrownup.com to find out what's holding you back from finding meaningful love.