Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Article

Check the Pulse Before Pulling the Plug

Check the Pulse Before Pulling the PlugnnThere was an episode on a TV medical drama where a patient was awaiting delivery of a liver from an organ donor. An intern assigned to the donor patient removed the airway and the patient stirred. The intern was taken aback; the donor was not yet brain dead as had been previously diagnosed. Not to worry said another physician, “By the time we get the patient to the operating room, she’ll be dead.” Needless-to-say, this did not si

October 6, 2005

Article

High Heat, the Assessment and then Court…

High Heat, the Assessment and then Court…nnIn the heat of some custody and access disputes, one-sided accounts of the situation can be convincing. Both parents have their view and are apt to present the issues more with their own interest at heart. nnWhile the “interest” is supposedly the children, high emotions may reign and hence very personal and emotionally charged issues get confused with those of the children. Parents may talk to anyone who will listen, provide th

October 6, 2005

Article

Children and the Aftermath of Katrina: From fear to hope

Children and the Aftermath of Katrina: nFrom fear to hopennIn the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, many children will be hiding under the covers. When tragedies such as Katrina strike, children, like many of us adults, have no way to understand the unimaginable. It is normal to be frightened of life threatening events.nnAlso like us adults, children do best with certainty, predictability and stability in their lives. Tragedy however, turns those elements upside down and chaos

September 6, 2005

Article

Build Rapport to Facilitate Teen Behaviour

Build Rapport to Facilitate Teen BehaviournnManaging teenagers is a full-time job for some parents as they turn themselves into 24-hour police to monitor the consequences doled out for misdeeds. The problem is that a game of cat and mouse develops as the teen makes sure the parents have to police them because they continue to look for ways to undermine the consequence. As the game continues, the teen undermines the consequence and the parents look for harsher, more restrictiv

August 30, 2005

Article

A Foot in Two Families

A Foot in Two FamiliesnnYour eldest is from a prior relationship and you’ve long since established a new family. He or she is now pushing for changes to the residential arrangement and thus spend more time with the other parent.nnThere is a pang in your gut. The old issues with the “ex” re-emerge. You think about losing your child yet again and the impact on the younger siblings who are not of that former relationship but who will remain with you full-time, missing the

August 30, 2005

Article

Tethered By The Electronic Umbilicus

Tethered By The Electronic UmbilicusnnRecent advances in cell phone technology and marketing are helping parents maintain an electronic umbilical cord. New cell phones are equipped with a host of services that enable children as young as six or eight to carry the device with programmed communication capability for reaching just their parents or any other recipient as programmed by the parent. Further, with other cell phones equipped with GPS (Global Positioning System), paren

August 10, 2005

Article

Who Started It Doesn’t Necessarily Matter!

Who Started It Doesn’t Necessarily Matter!nnRemember in the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy began her stroll down the Yellow Brick Road? Eventually she came upon a fork in the road. There she stood, unable to determine which way to go until the voice of the Scarecrow came from behind. With arms folded one over the other and fingers pointing out in opposite directions, he said, “some folks go that way (pointing in one direction), and others go that way (pointing in the other di

August 10, 2005

Article

Guiding Principle for Determining Behaviour

Guiding PrinciplennErik Erikson (1902 – 1994) is written into virtually every introductory psychology textbook. His claim to fame rests on the fact that as a developmental psychologist, he was one of the first to discuss human development across the human lifespan, from birth to death. Other developmental psychologists of the day such as Jean Piaget, tended to concentrate on child and adolescent development, or late adult development such as Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who is kno

July 6, 2005

Article

Keeping A Child Away From The Other Parent Can Backfire

Keeping A Child Away From The Other Parent Can BackfirennMarriages can fail for many reasons. When they do, people can be seen on a spectrum from minimal conflict to high conflict as they sort out the task of untangling their lives to resume independent living. Where children are involved, living can only ever be semi-independent as the needs of the children will forever keep the couple united. As the level of conflict and animosity increases between the parents the thought o

July 6, 2005

Article

Stepbrothers Teach Their Parents

Stepbrothers Teach Their ParentsnnAndy and Daniel were both 9 years old. Both lived with their respective mothers. Both had time together with their fathers although Daniel’s time with his father was more irregular. nnDaniel’s mother met Andy’s father. They courted for several years during which time the boys got to know each other. They got along well as friends. Finally, Daniel’s mother and Andy’s father moved in together. Now Daniel was spending more time with An

June 14, 2005

Article

Bribery vs. Reinforcement

Bribery vs. ReinforcementnnI agree. Bribery does not work. However, parenting experts continue to tell folks to reward their children’s behaviour. The experts talk in terms of “reinforcement” but sometimes the parent hears “bribery” and as such, parents do not want to participate. Parents learn that bribery does not work; that they cannot buy good behaviour… and the parents are correct.nnThe problem here is not with the parent, but with miscommunication on the par

February 9, 2005

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September 23, 2007

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September 23, 2007