Kathleen Hennessey Buchanan

CPC, ELI-MP

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Kathleen Hennessey Buchanan

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"I will not engage; I will not engage; I will not engage. No matter what mean, cruel or hurtful things he says, does or accuses me of, I will not engage." I can't tell you how many times that verse has gone through my head, since my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II, superimposed ...

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"I will not engage; I will not engage; I will not engage. No matter what mean, cruel or hurtful things he says, does or accuses me of, I will not engage." I can't tell you how many times that verse has gone through my head, since my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II, superimposed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I know what you're saying "sure, easier said then done". I agree, it's not easy, but it is one of the best coping skills I've developed to take the air out of the hot air balloon (a/k/a bipolar disorder) before it rises too high in the sky.

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First let me say that boundaries don't only apply if you have a loved one with bipolar disorder! Boundaries apply in all relationships because you will only be treated as well as you expect, or as badly as you allow, yourself to be treated. When you set boundaries you are communicating that you know who you are and what you are, and are not, willing to tolerate for yourself and those you love.

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Valentine's Day! Sweetest Day! For the seemingly happy couples these are the days of declaring their everlasting love by giving cards, gifts, sending flowers, enjoying a romantic dinner or just spending loving time at home alone. For those of us living with/married to a loved one with bipolar disorder, they may represent another day we are missing that feeling of "happily ever after." A world we believed would be ours when we first fell in love.

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