Laura Doerflinger
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Article
Parenting Towards Independence: Setting Rules for Teenagers
What are good rules and rewards for teenagers? Why do we bother putting rules into place? Limits and guidelines during adolescence are an important part of getting the budding adult ready to leave home. During this preparation time, keeping focused on the end result (a successful adult) is important. When presenting and negotiating rules with your adolescent, begin by exploring the potential results of successfully following guidelines.nnHereâs what your list might look lik
March 16, 2009
Article
Ready to Move Out: Preparing Your Child to be Independent
â10, 9, 8⦠check responsibility levels⦠7, 6, 5⦠check independence levels⦠4, 3, 2⦠Houston, we have a problem. Johnnyâs 18 but not ready to launch. Heâs not ready to live on his own. Abort launch!â It is a commonly held believe that once children graduate high school, they move out of their parentsâ home and start a life of their own. This is often referred to as a launch. Thus the failure to launch, like the popular movie of the same name, is when child
February 25, 2009
Article
Divorce Support for Parents: A Guided Parent Child Conversation
Children coping with divorce have difficulty because their perceptions of reality are forced to change. To understand their challenge, I have created a concept to help children and parents visualize the dilemma they face when confronted with these changes. It is called the âLifeline;â that is, we live on a continuum which begins at birth and ends at death. Wherever we are at on the continuum, we tend to base our present beliefs and our future expectations on our past expe
February 19, 2009
Article
Letting Go of the Chore Chart: Teaching Children Chores on Demand
In the past, families depended on their children to participate in household chores. Today, parents talk as if it’s a chore to require their children to participate in the maintaining of the household. Managing a house full of people is easier today with the addition of household appliances, convenience foods, and for those who can afford it, housecleaners and fast food. It’s a wonder we need help at all. So, why request your children to do chores? Because childre
February 14, 2009
Article
Parenting Tips: Help Your Child Deal with Anxiety
Anxiety is one of the most prevalent issues among the young clients I counsel. Children feel anxious over events or something in their environment. They experience physical and mental symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweaty palms, stomach cramps, and persistent thoughts. These anxieties may lead to sleepless nights, resistance to go places, oppositional behavior, repetitive patterns, or withdrawal. When anxiety is persistent and high, a professional should be employed.
February 8, 2009
Article
Family Day: A Bonding Tradition
What’s on your family’s plate? Work, volunteering, sports, school, groups, clubs, social activities, household chores? Do you ever wonder how you will keep your family bonded? I have worked as a child and family counselor for over a decade and keeping families bonded has been a particular goal of mine. Fourteen years ago when I held my daughter for the first time, the goal became personal. As my family grew, I knew I had to make a deeper time commitment in order t
February 2, 2009
Article
Anger Management for Children: 5 Helpful Tips for Parents
Change is difficult, especially for children! The “thinking” part of their brains is not completely developed yet and their emotions are immature. Although children are born with distinctive dispositions, they are effected by the emotional environment in which they are raised. Thus, parents are ultimately responsible for two levels of emotional inheritance; one nature, the other, nurture. Genetic dispositions are more difficult to identify and control. However, en
January 22, 2009
Article
Anger Management for Teens: Self Help Steps to Control Your Emotions
Anger is unavoidable. Feelings of anger are triggered by factors in our environment and are accompanied by certain physiological reactions. Anger management focuses on the negative expression of these feelings. When one externalizes anger, one can mistreat the world around him.nnTeenagers have a unique experience with anger. Adolescence is a major growth stage emotionally, socially and physically. Teenagers go through this stage without the benefit of a fully mature brain. Th
January 22, 2009
Article
Early Child Development: Family Play Time
Did you know that you are your child’s first playmate? Emotional self-regulation skills, social skills, and relationship skills come from that early bond you form with your child. One of the challenges for so many parents is that they are now adults and have forgotten how to play. They are caught up with serious things like paying bills, working, managing the house, and raising children. However, playing with your child is “seriously” necessary. nnPlay allow
December 31, 2008
Article
Child Development for Elementary Students: Lesson Plans for Daily Routine Building
Establishing routines and patterns of behavior are important aids for children. Much of family conflict revolves around getting from one place to another or from one activity to another. Parents come for counseling because their children resist getting up in the morning, feel anxious over homework, dispute parent's instructions, or delay in getting ready when the family needs to get somewhere. These difficulties can last into the teenage years and can leave the emerging young
December 31, 2008
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