Maryanne Comaroto
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Maryanne Comaroto Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Relationships
- Best Sellers
- Hindsight: What you need to know before you drop your drawers, Skinny Tan and Rich and then I Woke Up
- Career Focus
- Counselor, Coach, Author
- Affiliation
- SHOMI, LLC
She leads popular workshops and seminars for men and women (corrcertification.com) and has had a private practice as a clinical hypnotherapist for more than 20 years. She is the author of the award-winning memoir Skinny, Tan and Rich: Unveiling the Myth. Her latest book, Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, outlines the 14 critical questions to ask before you get intimate in a relationship and gives the reader six tools for their Relationship Toolbelt.
Maryanne is also the founder of a leading non-profit, The National Action Organization, a 501(c)3 organization committed to changing the way our culture values women.
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What’s the difference between a tramp and a prostitute?
Oddly enough, never once in all the years we struggled to make that relationship work did it ever occur to me to call my local paper and give a blow-by-blow description to people who deliberately use the information to humiliate and desecrate the people involved; namely, his wife and family. I felt quite the opposite: ashamed, embarrassed, frightened, and at times very much alone because I couldn’t— rather didn’t dare—tell a soul.
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Who's to blame?
BBC report today: Iranian cleric blames quakes on promiscuous women Promiscuous women are responsible for earthquakes, a senior Iranian cleric has said. Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told worshippers in Tehran last Friday that they had to stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves. "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he said. Really, did this guy really say this? No wonder we have such a victim/prostitute archetype in our culture. What next?
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Full-spectrum Emotion
I’ll have one fabulous relationship; hold the full spectrum of unpleasant human emotion please!” Used to be, it could bring me to the edge when anyone would tell me to “calm down” or “just relax.” “OH, you think THIS is upset? Well, you haven’t seen upset!” I would declare, and there I’d go as predicted, directly into orbit. These experiences collected and cemented my inherited belief that I was too much, too big, high-maintenance, and ultimately perhaps a bit crazed. All this was about a million years ago, but I can remember it like it was yesterday.
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No benefits- all friends?
It’s that time of year. Spring has sprung and the fever pitch is HIGH! No more bundling up your chakras, you say, it’s time for some “sex on the beach”! A few spring fling tips: 1) Pay attention (pay now or pay later); 2) Think it through. Make sure the good outweighs any potential side effects 4 to 1…okay, 3 to 1; and 3) WEAR A CONDOM … and in the meantime, get your questions answered: James asked: “I met this girl at school and ended up falling for her. However, at the time she had a boyfriend who was moving to France.
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Death becomes you
What if you just let go? Let it all go? All your attachments: your life as you know it, your identity, what you think of other people, of what other people think of you? Any and all ideas you have about who you are, what is and how it supposed to be, vanishing in the distance as you voluntarily let them go? The stories about your childhood, about the person who cut you off in the parking lot, about “How come that person has more than me or isn’t as good?” Who did what to you, who didn’t do enough. Who owes you, who you need to avenge.
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Being Heart Smart Part Two: The Inner View
One of my favorite Maryanne mantras is; you have to learn how use this (your head) before you do this (have sex) so you don’t break this (your heart)! And for many of us we can sadly add…again. Sounds simple enough, right? Yeah, well, we all know that when we get the urge to merge it can be so intoxicating that we give in to it, hoping this chemistry will magically translate into Happily Ever After. Yes, I did say you break your own heart, ‘cause love doesn’t happen outside yourself, and while your heart may feel broken, the heart cannot break per se.
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Aren’t in the relationship of your dreams? Find out why!
Here’s the deal. Most of us approach relationship like drunken sailors, intoxicated with the ideas and fantasies we have about relationship as opposed to the sobering reality of them, and desperate (or lonely, as the case may be) like your ship has just come in—or is about to leave port. Not a great strategy if you want a great relationship. So, get a piece of paper and write these things down: 1) First, what do you want? (spell it out) 2) What are you willing to do about it? I know, I have said this before, but let’s take a closer look—trust me.
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Got friends?
My mother told me I was lucky if I could count all my real friends on one hand! Must have been fifteen or so years ago now, when it occurred to me after a string of disappointing intimate relationships that maybe she was right—again. That it might be wise to invest more time in creating some deep and lasting friendships, as they theoretically seemed to have greater staying power and could be in many ways equally fulfilling, perhaps in some ways even more. I must add that, up until that that point, my history with friendships was rather sketchy and my role models even more so.
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Sustainable relationships
If you have had a few relationships you know what I mean by “sustainability,” especially ones that have been a source of pain or suffering to some degree. (Some of which have compelled you to dispose of them by almost any means, organic or not.) But what of the ones you wish to keep, nurture and grow rather than watch die prematurely or unexpectedly?
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Can your friends or lovers be holding you back?
I can remember getting what for me was my first big break in my budding media career. I squealed with delight when the producer called from a popular syndicated radio show asking to interview me. My heart pounded, my mouth went dry ~ I had worked so hard and now it seemed things were about to unfold. I was ecstatic. After I enthusiastically accepted the invitation, naturally I couldn’t wait to tell the three people closest to me (okay, and a few strangers along the way, I couldn’t contain myself).
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Naughty or nice, presence or presents?
Here’s an email I got recently: “I wanted to thank you also for your story about "presence" that you told at your talk recently at Open Secret Book Store in San Rafael. I had an important experience of that this weekend. I have been contemplating dating a man I met recently who is a financially successful lobbyist, and we have many other interests aside from politics.
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Healthy M & M’s ?
All the good ones are take Let’s start with the word ALL. Right away, this sweeping generalization has to tip you off to the fact that’s it not even possible to get around to all 3.4 billion members of the male population to test this ridiculous yet popular notion. Instead, this is an idea conjured from a deeply lacking mentality. I have never believed this. Rather, I thought “So many men, so little time.” And so it was true for me. Energy flows where attention goes, right? So maybe you need to switch up your internal chitchat.
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