Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.

NJ

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. Quick Facts

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Articles by this expert

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"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes. How true! Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they were miles away even though they were sitting next to you? They might have appeared to be listening, but you could sense that they weren’t really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation. We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively

August 2, 2010

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When someone feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that there’s trouble ahead in the relationship arena. It doesn’t take a fortune teller with a crystal ball to predict the future when a person is determined to win every argument or disagreement at any cost.nnAlways having to be right is damaging to relationships because it interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. nnIt is destructive to the self-esteem and self-confidenc

November 25, 2008

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It’s not unusual for a partner whose mate has had an affair to have a “get even” or “retaliation affair.” The feelings of betrayal and the emotional pain are so devastating that the partner may want to hurt the mate like he (or she) has been hurt.nnIn some cases, the affair is planned out in advance as a deliberate way to get even and cause pain to the mate. In other cases, the betrayed partner confides in a sympathetic friend or co-worker and ends up becoming emoti

November 25, 2008

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Have you ever wondered what it would take to improve the sex life in your relationship? If so, you’re not alone.nnToo often, couples watch the quality of their bedroom intimacy deteriorate after initially having a satisfying sex life. And equally troubling, they don’t have a clue what to do about it.nnOne thing’s for sure—sizzling sex in the bedroom doesn’t just happen on its own after the initial excitement has started to wear off! Ironically, it takes an understan

November 25, 2008

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Do any of these statements describe your feelings?nn___ You often feel that your partner criticizes you unfairly.nn___ You feel that your partner consistently looks for nit-picking things to criticize.n n____You feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that have been blown out of proportion or are beyond your control. nnIf you answer “yes” to at least one of these statements, you may be living with a partner who finds it easier to find fault than to prai

November 25, 2008

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Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. The “monster” is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.nnAccording to B.C. Forbes, “Jealousy…is a mental cancer.” It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a relationship. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous partner becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things.n nWhen we’re jealous, we’re in a state of dissatisfaction with ours

November 25, 2008

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If you and your spouse are struggling with marriage problems right now, you have an even greater challenge than usual--and that is to stay focused and committed in spite of the current economic crisis and dire predictions. nnIt’s difficult to stay proactive and positive when you’re surrounded by such fear and negativity, but it’s important not to let the gloomy financial news and forecasts set the mood for your marriage or determine the outcome.n nIf you get disheartene

November 21, 2008

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It’s so much easier to blame your partner than to look at yourself—and this is especially true when relationship control issues are involved.nnIf you’re the more controlling partner, it’s tempting to blame your passive mate for waiting so long to speak up about her (or his) distress over the situation. If you’re the more passive partner, it’s tempting to blame your controlling partner for not respecting your feelings or insisting that you always do things his(or h

November 20, 2008

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It’s important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying ‘You can’t give away what you don’t have” applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you won’t have a peaceful, happy relationship.nnIf you skip these steps and jump immediately into the murky waters of your troubled relationship, you are at high risk for going under. That’s why it’s so important to do all you can to stabilize yourself before you get in

November 20, 2008

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When I asked several hundred people recently to name the biggest challenge in their relationship, the number one complaint was “poor communication with my partner.”nnAnd in my many years of helping couples stay connected, I’ve seen that poor communication has been a leading cause for couples to break up.nnWhy, you ask?nnWithout good communication, you can’t have a satisfying relationship. When communication is blocked or non-existent, a relationship can’t thrive. So

June 22, 2008

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Kayla’s husband Jon is an expert at getting out of things he doesn’t want to do. He “forgets” to stop by the store on the way home from work when he doesn’t want to be bothered. If he doesn’t want to help Kayla with the house cleaning, he does such a poor job that she ends up redoing his part.nnOutwardly, Jon is agreeable and compliant. When Kayla asks him to do something, he’ll generally say “okay” or nod in agreement. Kayla has been let down so many times

February 19, 2008

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As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I’m asked frequently is, “Can a marital separation ever save a marriage?” My answer is a qualified “yes.”nnSometimes a couple is miserable living together and can’t seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. If they have children, they may worry about the impact on them of all the fighting. Each spouse wants the marriage to work and is willing to work on the problems and issues in marriage coun

February 19, 2008