Shelley Stile
BS, MS, ACC Ceritifcation
Free
Life After Your Divorce-Divorce Recovery Expert
Shelley Stile Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Life After Divorce Life Coaching, Divorce Recovery
- Best Sellers
- 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce
- Career Focus
- Life Coach, Speaker, Author, Lecturer, workshop Leader
- Affiliation
- International Coaches Federation, International Speakers Forum
Shelley Stile is a professionally trained and ACC certified Life Coach specializing in Divorce Recovery. Shelley works to guide you to not only survive the divorce process, but to create a new and exciting life after divorce. Divorce shakes the foundation beneath our feet but when that foundation crumbles, there is fertile ground for creating something new.
She trained with CTI, Coaches Training Institute and the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching's Spiritual Divorce process.
Shelley is a member of the ICF, The International Coaches Federation, which is the governing body for coaching worldwide and the International Speakers Network. She also teaches divorce recovery at the Adult School in Montclair, New Jersey as well as leading workshops at the Center for Women in Livingston, New Jersey and the Professional Women's Center in Montclair, New Jersey. She has also coached at the nationally acclaimed Life Directions seminar.
Shelley coaches her clients on a one-on-one basis via the telephone as well as group tele-seminars.She is the author of the powerful book, 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On after your Divorce.
"Coaching is the most powerful tool I have experienced in terms overcoming the obstacles that keep you from achieving your goals as well as moving you forward via action steps every single week. It works to empower people to discover for themselves the answers to the challenges they face by giving them the necessary insights as well as tools."
"Divorce Recovery Coaching seeks to guide the client to let go of all the negative emotional baggage of the past via a process that creates acceptance of our life now. We work to clear the endless mind chatter that stops us from creating a new and vibrant life after divorce.
I came to Coaching after I went through my own mid-life crisis…a divorce after 18 years of marriage. As a result of that experience and the work that I did on myself, my purpose in life is to help other women survive divorce and then go on to create lives that are more fulfilling and happy…much better than before!”
Shelley offers free sample sessions of Coaching so that you can see for yourself the value of Life Coaching. Contact her at shelleystile@lifeafteryourdivorce.com today.
She is also available for workshops and lectures.Her new book, 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce is available now at www.divorcesupportbook.com
Free Articles & Book Excerpts
Shelley Stile Books
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
How Divorce Affects Your Children
Recently I spoke with a woman whose coaching practice revolves around the issue of children and divorce. She had many useful strategies for dealing with this challenge but what it all seemed to come down to is this: if you love your children more than you might hate, resent or simply dislike your ex, then you are called upon to act with their well-being first and foremost instead of any hard feelings you may harbor against your former spouse.
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Are Your Beliefs Setting You Up for Unhappiness?
Each of us holds core beliefs about life. These belief systems have an incredible impact on our ability to be happy in life because they have a tendency to create expectations that all too often leave us feeling disappointed, resentful or angry. By uncovering these core beliefs, many of them sub-conscious, we can examine their validity and thereby save ourselves from much self-imposed unhappiness. For example, I may hold a belief that people should be kind to one another. Conceptually this is a good idea. The world would be a better place if we were all kind with one another.
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Was Your Divorce a Means to Healing Old Baggage?
Here’s a fascinating take on divorce that I find more true than not: We choose our spouses, usually subconsciously, as a means to healing old emotional wounds we have been carrying around our entire life. Our divorce then becomes the wakeup call to clean up that mental baggage we have been lugging around once and for all which in turn allows us to become the person we were always meant to be! That theory would go a long way to answering the questions we often ask ourselves: How is it I married my Father/Mother? Why do I over-react to certain things my ex did or said?
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Divorce: Don’t ask Why?
In life, I have come to accept the fact that there are questions of mine that will never be answered to my satisfaction if at all. I have come to accept the fact that some things in life are beyond my comprehension and I must trust or have faith that certain occurrences are indeed outside the realm of human reason.
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Does Divorce Have To Have A Negative Impact On Our Kids?
Going through a divorce where there are children involved is an anxiety-provoking scenario with much worry on the past of the parents as to what negative effects the divorce will have on their kids. I firmly believe that it isn’t so much the divorce but how you choose to handle the divorce that will have the greatest impact on your children. Living in an unhappy household where two parents are continually arguing does not serve anyone, least of all the kids.
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Newly Divorced and Surviving the Holidays
The Holidays are upon us once again and for many of you, this might be the first time around as a new unit, I.E. without your ex. It’s a difficult time, no doubt about it, and just another step in the transition into a new life after divorce. If you plan for this season you can make it easier on yourself. Emotions may overwhelm you right now. Know that you will have major bouts of sadness, anger…whatever. Go easy on yourself. Take good care of yourself and give yourself as much nurturing as you can muster. If you had a friend who was in your shoes, how would you treat her?
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Life After Divorce: Choosing a Happy New Year
The New Year is the proverbial time to make resolutions about our lives. This year may I suggest that you resolve to make an empowering choice for yourself? Choose to have a Happy New Year. As human beings, the ability to consciously choose is our most powerful attribute. Choice is ours and ours alone. Choose to commit to living this one precious life of yours as a happy person. We have all heard the stories of the wisdom that is revealed at the end of someone’s life.
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Divorce: Acceptance of Your New Reality
What do you think of people who are detached from reality? People that are seemingly living in a world of their own making? It’s unnerving to say the least as well as truly sad. Yet for those of us attempting to recover from a divorce, our inability to fully accept our new reality is not too far removed from living in a fantasy world. Non-acceptance of what our life is right here and now is the biggest obstacle to letting go and moving on after divorce. Initially I believe this is due to denial, which is part of the grieving phase that follows any major loss in life.
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Freedom is the Reward for Letting Go
The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded towards whatever goal you establish for yourself. Think of slavery. Picture a person wrapped in chains. Now think of those chains as having specific labels attached: blame, resentment, resistance, anger, denial, sadness and confusion.
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Life After Divorce: Living with Change and Uncertainty
“If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic.”rn-- Hazel Henderson (Economist, writer and syndicated columnist) Fear of our future after divorce keeps us stuck in the pain of the past. This fear prompts our mind chatter to paint a bleak picture of an uncertain future, which in turn creates a disempowering and negative attitude towards life. A negative attitude on life becomes all pervasive and leaves us powerless and depressed.
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Recovering from Divorce: Honor the Truth
Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the newfound freedom to gain clarity, discover our options and make real choices that are based in reality and not a subjective interpretation of what is. The past no longer runs the show. A world of possibilities opens that we might otherwise have missed.
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Moving On After Your Divorce
There is no single more powerful stumbling block to moving beyond our divorce into a new life than the inability to accept our new reality. Acceptance is the hardest part of the divorce recovery process. Acceptance requires total honesty, courage and the willingness to let go of the life that we had...a life that no longer exists. Without that acceptance, we cannot move forward and create a new life. How does one learn acceptance? Although it takes time and a good deal of inner work, it can be done.
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Website
The Good Life
Discovering how to do less and have more is the ideal approach for busy-successful-know-there's-got-to-be-more-to-life people like YOU who want to change their lives but don't have the time or energy for long, complicated self-help programs.
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Website
Coaching for Change/Divorce Recovery
Divorce Recovery Life Coaching for people undergoing divorce or who are divorced and are looking to let go of the pain of their divorce and move on to create new and vibrant lives after divorce.
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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Shelley Stile
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. " Ramsey Clark
"Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Contacting Shelley Stile
How to get started
Contact Shelley at shelleystile@lifeafteryourdivorce.com and schedule a FREE, 30 minute sample session of Divorce Recovery Coaching so you can experience for yourself how Coaching can guide you to heal and then move forward towards the life you deserve and want.
Also, check out Shelley's blog at http:shelleyblog.changecoachshelley.com and Shelley's website at http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com where you can take the free, online Divorce Life Quiz.