Suzanne E. Harrill, M. Ed., LPC
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Suzanne E. Harrill, M. Ed., LPC Quick Facts
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What Is Codependence and How Does It Affect My Life?
Codependence is a new word that became popular in the 1980's. It has become a buzzword and important for you to understand in becoming the person you want to be. In less aware times codependence was considered normal. To be good, perfect, compliant, agreeable, giving, and selfless was rewarded and was the unconscious standard with which many people, especially women were conditioned. Now we are understanding that there is a fine line between where being selfless and taking care of others crosses over to becoming a disease similar to having a physical addiction.
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Suffering Exists: How Some Suffer Less Than Others
Suffering is part of the human condition. We can't avoid it. Have you noticed that some people suffer more even with the same or less dramatic issues than others? Those that suffer less have made a shift in perspective away from victimhood to seeing a larger picture. They practice expanding their awareness to include knowing themselves, their real needs, and learning to meet them. Let me share a part of my early journey to illustrate this shift in consciousness necessary to shrink the amount of suffering you experience. Included are some insights I learned recently at a retreat.
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Self-Esteem in the Workplace
The group you work with has a level of self-esteem based on the composite self-esteem levels of the individuals in the group. We each take to the workplace (works the same in families) our level of awareness, which includes such things as our understanding of ourselves and others, our communication skills, our ability to have realistic expectations for ourselves and others, our degree of maintaining a positive attitude, and our ability to stay in present-time and not let past hurts be projected onto others.
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A Friend Died Today: Looking For Deeper Meaning
"...when you fully understand that each day you awaken could be the last you have, you take the time that day to grow, to become more of who you really are, to reach out to other human beings." -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Death The Final Stage of Growth I wrote the following piece after a close friend died. She taught me many things about myself. Death is one of the mysteries most people are not prepared for. This may be the time to get more comfortable with this part of our life journey.
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Body Image: Ego or Transcendence
How is your relationship with your body? Are you dissatisfied with the way you look? Do you secretly or openly say you want your body to be different? Maybe you criticize your complexion, hair, or the shape of your body? Maybe you weigh more than you did a couple of years ago, have to constantly watch the scale to maintain your current weight, or are at the other end of the continuum wanting to gain weight? Do you focus on your body image much of the time, watching your diet and exercising, yet your weight does not budge?
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Relationships: The Three Stages of Love
This is a quick reminder about the stages through which a relationship travels. Love grows and changes. The excitement that brings couples together in the first place is very different from the love that emerges fifteen or fifty years later. Love relationships go through three predictable stages. All are important and none can be avoided if love is to flourish. Stage 1: Romantic Love
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Finding Your Spiritual Purpose
Your life has many purposes. Many are fulfilled in your day-to-day life and you do not think of them as purposes. Yet you could say meaning and purpose motivated each choice, each experience, and each role you have played that taught you lessons about yourself, your relationships, people, organizations, and how life works. The learning and growth that has or is taking place from each experience moves you forward to greater awareness and can be seen as a purpose in your life. Some of you may choose to look broader and see the major theme or spiritual reason for your life.
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Affirmations for Inner Healing
1. I am at peace with myself and accept my oneness with all life. 2. I draw from the wellspring of the Source to fill my heart with love, joy, peace, beauty, and grace. As I fill myself I have more than enough to nourish myself and others. 3. My wisdom guides me moment by moment to know how to act, how to think, and what to say. 4. I accept the rhythm of life with its periods of great activity and fellowship with others and its periods of silence and quiet time to be alone.
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Awakening and Enlightenment
Enlightenment, a term more common in the eastern world rather than the western, describes an awakened spiritual state of consciousness where one is liberated from the illusions of the 3-dimensional world, freed from the limitations of physical, emotional, and mental pain and suffering based on attachment. One is released from the bondage of desire and attachment to people, things, beliefs, achievements, etc., experiencing an expanded state of oneness with the whole of creation.
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Catch Yourself Enjoying A Moment
Joy brings more light into our lives. No matter the circumstances you have drawn into your life, pay attention when you catch yourself smiling and enjoying the small stuff. As we learn to focus on the simple pleasures already happening, the easier it is to let go of allowing the unpleasant things to spoil our day. It lightens us every time we enjoy a flower or sunset, hug a loved one, say hi to a smiling neighbor, pet our dog or cat, or make eye contact with a child at the grocery store. This joy in the moment transfers to building a positive mindset, which affects how we live our day.
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Building Self-Esteem in Youth
Ask any second grade class of students, "Do you love yourself?" and most children will raise and wave their hands and say, "Yesss!" By high school that number has taken a considerable dive. Developmentally the adolescent's job is to begin separating from the family to become an independent individual capable of making choices and being able to take care of her or himself. This is difficult to do when one is emotionally hurting and has self esteem issues.
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Self-Discovery: Keeping a journal
Writing is a good way to get to know yourself, solve your problems, lower your stress level, and balance yourself emotionally. If you are new to this, buy a notebook to begin keeping a journal, not a diary, a journal. What is the difference? A diary reports events and usually makes sense if another were going to read it. A journal, on the other hand, is about your emotional reactions to people and events, insights you have in understanding yourself, lists of your needs, wants, values, and goals.
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