Tamara Thomas
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The loss of a child is devastating, help is offered here. Expert
Tamara Thomas Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Grief, organ donation, adoption from foster care
- Career Focus
- Author, editor, speaker
Born in Sun Valley, Idaho, Tamara Thomas moved to Arizona in 1980. She has lived and worked in the Wickenburg area for the last 11 years, and has spent the last eight years working at the Wickenburg Sun newspaper.
Tamara was educated at Reed College, Vanderbilt University and the University of Arizona. As well as being editor at The Sun, she is a professional artist with local murals on display in downtow Wickenburg and in many private homes and businesses throughout the west, as well as canvases that she shows and sells both locally and nationally.
Upon the loss of her only child in 2008, she underwent profound personal changes. Some of those changes produced a few good things: She helped found the $3,000 Abigail Garcia memorial scholarship for local graduating high school seniors; she founded a local mentoring group for at-risk high school students; she adopted a grade-school student from foster care – her second beloved daughter Tina; and she started a blog about grief, organ donation, adoption and related interwoven topics with the desire to benefit others experiencing similar changes.
Tamara can be reached through The Wickenburg Sun; by mail at PO Box 86, Wickenburg AZ 85358; through her website www.WhereThereIsLife.com, or via email at tam@wherethereislife.com.
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Time helps with grief, but does not heal
Time heals, they say. In my experience, time does not heal exactly, but it does help some scar tissue form. It helps the wound from being so excruciating and bloody. My daughter died in May of 2008. In the first weeks and months I clung desperately to time. I counted days, then weeks, finally months, grabbing at every advancement on the calendar with both fists, wanting time to take away the pain. And time, as is its nature, dragged inexorably forward.
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Grief is more than an emotion
Grief is more than an emotion. Like love, it goes much deeper. Emotions are generally temporary and subject to change with surrounding circumstances. A child gets a good grade on a test. She is happy and proud (two emotions). Rain dampens a planned party. The hostess is disappointed and frustrated (two more). A friend reneges on a promise. I am angry and hurt (another couple). None of these emotions lasts very long. Each emotion can be replaced by another rather quickly, with merely a change of events. No so grief.
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Article
Chaos Theory demonstrates a larger pattern in life
I don’t believe in coincidences. Whether part of some “divine plan” or a science deeper than we currently understand, I think everything happens for a reason. I see it as a philosophical version of Chaos Theory (http://www.imho.com/grae/chaos/chaos.htm); in my thinking, there is a pattern, a Koch’s Curve (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/KochSnowflake.html) to life. If we could just stand back far enough, we could see the pattern and the beauty. Unfortunately, we usually cannot get that perspective, and that is the problem.
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Anniversaries of grief - mark them well
Once again, the month of May presented personal challenges. Memorial Day brings with it my own personal day of remembrance – the anniversary of my daughter’s car crash and death. This May marks three years. Each year, as the date has approached, I have tried to convince myself that it would be just another day, no worse than any other – and every year I am wrong.r
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Contacting Tamara Thomas
Visit my web site: www.WhereThereIsLife.com
Email me at Tam@WhereThereIsLife.com