Tammy Davidson
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Author of Survive Infidelity HQ and Relationship Advice Expert
Tammy Davidson Quick Facts
- Career Focus
- Professional Blogger, Writer
I will start quickly and say everything I'm not so everyone knows where we stand. I'm not a counselor, or perhaps a mental health specialist, or perhaps a counselor, or perhaps a physician. I'm much like other women, a betrayed woman, but one that has come out the other side, is now over the worst of the pain.
I manage a site which started as a blog, sort of outlet for my own experiences. And then I kinda shaped it into a website, which now became a resource site for those trying to survive infidelity.
You can visit my website at http://www.surviveinfidelityhq.com
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Signs of a Cheating Best Friend
The impact of discovering your partner, girlfriend or boyfriend is having an affair maybe the best sucker punch. All you have committed to the connection from physical and emotional resolve for trust and understanding appears to possess been destroyed in under an immediate. The mind is of course racing and you're simply less than sure how to proceed next. However for you that isn't the worst part. The actual shock is it was together with your closest friend.
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What Percentage of Men Cheat?
Most people would agree that the sexes regard sexual liaisons differently, however, an emotional affair is non sexual, so is it mostly men or women who conduct emotional affairs? Absolute figures on this are hard to come by, especially as people who answer surveys on infidelity are notoriously unreliable in their answers! Statistics identify that according to the journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 60 is the percentage of men who cheat and 50 percent of married women will, at some point in their marriage, have an extramarital affair.
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Banish negative emotions, a strategy to clear your mind
The first weeks after discovering their husband’s extramarital affair the wife will experience a mindless jumble of emotions. For some those weeks pass in a blur and they cannot remember much about what they did, let alone what they said. This is critically important, and no decisions should be made during this period of time or long lasing mistakes may be the outcome. Women undergoing this confusing and stressful time must think first and foremost of themselves.
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Warning! Marital affairs can seriously damage your emotional health!
The profound and powerful emotions, experienced upon discovering a marital affair, can cause significant emotional damage to the person experiencing them, if they are not handled properly. How can you handle the strong emotions triggered by a husband’s infidelity? Closing down and effectively shutting out anyone who can help is not the answer.r
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How to End an Emotional Affair?
At first it was a friendship, then you became closer than you imagined possible, until that person has become as important to you as your spouse, and you were deep into emotional cheating! Most people in this situation know that the lies and the reluctance to let their spouse know anything about this other person, all add up to an affair, it has just not reached a physical level. It is important to learn how to end emotional cheating but first the full extent of the betrayal must be understood.
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How do emotional affairs happen?
Once you at least partly accept that, for a lot of people, the workplace is the source of many an emotional affair; you may want to know how to avoid getting involved in one, or maybe you need to identify if you are close to the edge of an emotional affair, without realizing it? Few married people are comfortable with the notion of infidelity, and yet, they can allow themselves to get dangerously close to someone, whilst kidding themselves that they are not being unfaithful because there is no physical intimacy.
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4 Steps to recovering your self-esteem after the affair
Time has passed and it is now after the affair. You have spent some time thinking about your feelings, trying to put your negative thoughts aside and making an effort to understand your emotions. The initial shock is over, your husband’s cheating is out in the open and people now expect you to take some action. Resist attempts to rush you into making decisions; this is still your life, and whilst you are understandably emotionally rocky, your brain still works, you can think for yourself!
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Emotional Affairs, What’s All the Fuss About?
There are two quite different beliefs as to what is an emotional affair; the one believes it to be a workplace friendship, the other believes it to be the single most dangerous threat to a marriage possible. These two viewpoints do not fall neatly into gender camps, but there is a commonality between those on one side and those on the other. The deniers tend to see themselves at the center of most interactions, while those who accept that emotional infidelity is a real and potential threat have heightened empathy and see relationships as involving several people.
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Positive thinking can help you to survive infidelity
Banishing negative thoughts requires replacement with positive thoughts, which is possible with practice. Learning basic breathing exercises and focusing on the act of breathing, may seem basic, but with regular practice is effective. Negative thoughts needed to be identified, written down, and focused breathing techniques used to distract the mind. For some women this negativity is life threatening, and counseling or psychiatric help may be the only solution.
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When he is having an affair – Dealing with the Hurt and Pain
Your world has just splintered, everything you took for granted is up for question now; you have just discovered your husband was having an affair, and the hurt is unbearable. Those first few moments when you find out that the person you love is a liar and a cheat, that he has been holding someone else in his arms, that he has betrayed you; those first few moments are the worst.
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Believe you can change your life after the affair
Building self-confidence is about looking back at what worked and looking forward to what could work. You have survived an extramarital affair, it may not feel that way right now, but tell yourself enough times that you are a survivor and you will start to believe it. This is what is known as self-affirmation. It is what is practiced when you replaced negative thoughts with positive ones.
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Why you should avoid destructive emotions!
Affairs in marriage bring out the absolute worst in people, and make for good newspaper copy! Finding out that you are married to a cheating husband, is likely to trigger anger. Nobody would deny the right of a betrayed spouse to feel anger, but it is important that one be careful as to where that anger leads. The newspapers may make headlines out of anger and its consequences, “betrayed wife torches cheating husbands Ferrari” but generally speaking it is not a productive route to take.
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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Tammy Davidson
Surviving infidelity takes work, but it can be done, relationships can be healed.
Contacting Tammy Davidson
You can reach me via email or visit our Survive Infidelity Forum