4 Ways To Move Beyond Goal Setting And Get Complete

So much of what we are encouraged to focus on is goal setting and moving forward in our personal lives and our business lives. I think we can all agree that there is a value in having a forward vision and worthwhile goals to reach for. I would also like to consider the possibility that with all this forward movement we are not allowing ourselves to feel complete with what we have already accomplished or with where we are today.

Have you ever found yourself at the end of the day falling into bed exhausted and feeling as though you have just barely made a dent in all the things that were on the list to take care of during that day? I feel pretty certain that every busy mom whether working outside the home or not will be able to identify with the feeling of being incomplete that occurs at the end of a busy day. Along with it often comes the negative self talk centered on not living up to the high standards you have set for yourself. Feeling at the end of the day that with all the “stuff” that had to be taken care of, the home, work obligations, the errands and of course for many of you the kids, you are not measuring up.

Not to ignore the laundry list of obligations the men are dealing with as well, the question that remains to be answered is how can you learn to feel complete with what is, right here and right now. It is easy to become overwhelmed and to believe you are never going to get caught up or to fall into the trap of procrastination, choosing to put things off rather than to feel that you have failed at the end of each day. How can you end your day feeling complete with what you have accomplished in the last 24 hours?

Have the right kind of goals

Having smart goals for each day will help to manage both expectations and outcomes. Smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. If you can begin each day with smart goals in mind it will support you efforts to reach completeness at the end of the day. These kinds of goals by their very nature help you to manage the day to day obligations. They also create an environment where you can conclude the day feeling satisfied and complete with the things that you have been able to accomplish. When you take the time to create your goals for the day, check in and see if they meet the criteria of a smart goal.

Acknowledge what you have accomplished

Take a few minutes to reflect at the end of each day on what you have accomplished, the things that you have done well and that you are worthy of your acknowledgment. These do not have to be monumental, in fact for the busy mom it can be just as simple as ending the day with a little quality time with your children. That may be the goal that outweighs having the laundry done or the house in tip top order. When looking at all the items you have accomplished each day ask yourself if they are aligned with what you value. Family time may be more important than having a kitchen floor so clean you could eat off of it.
If you have reached your goals for the day congratulate yourself, out loud, in you own thoughts or in your journal. This will help keep you energized and get you in the habit of self appreciation.

Create your Own Standards and live up to them

Do not to fall into the comparison trap, or the minimizing trap. Your goals and your values are just that. They belong to you and when you fall into the trap of comparing your self to others you it leaves you feeling unsure and certainly incomplete. There is no one else you have to live up to. You only need to check in with your own feelings to see if the items you are accomplishing are a true reflection of not only what you can do, but of what you choose to do. If from that place you choose to raise the bar and create more challenging goals, you will do so with confidence. You will have already created an experience of successfully completing the goals that you set for yourself.

Relax and Let Go

Learn to let go. There will always be days that even with the best laid plans you are not able to accomplish all goals on the list, smart or not. When these days occur it is even more important to look at what you have actually accomplished. From there you can let go of what did not get done and trust that for today it is enough. When you can give yourself permission to not always meet your goals, you create a space to end the day on a note of being complete. From that place you can rest easy knowing tomorrow is another day with its own challenges and accomplishments.

If we can practice feeling complete at the end of each day it helps us to end the “not good enough” self talk. From a place of self appreciation we can look ahead to the future and create a larger vision of what we choose to create in all areas of our life.