5 Keys to Breaking Unwanted Patterns

We all get stuck in patterns, many of us are reliving something over and over that has been with us since childhood. Some patterns can feel as if we are in some kind of nightmarish prison and unable to leave. We'll watch ourselves getting up at 3AM and eating leftover cake or cookies night after night (wait - that's not JUST me, right?), ending up in the same relationships over and over - hoping each time will be different, ending up in the same kinds of jobs or money situations over and over, and not having a clue on how to break the pattern and step into a new (and better) one.

I have repeatedly fallen back into old patterns throughout my life. This is why I feel perfectly qualified to bring this to your attention today, as I am a bonified expert in falling down and getting back up again. I was inspired to write about this now because I've just recently gotten up again, and I'm gaining a lot of awareness on this that I wanted to share with you.

Of course I can only speak from my experience here, but I've found that there is a 5 key elements to breaking old habits and patterns that are no longer serving you.

1. Commitment

First and foremost, you have to be committed. If you go into any change half-heartedly, the chances of success are slim. When you are wanting to do something differently in your life, and you're beat your head up against the wall for the last time and DECIDE right then that you are ready to commit and end the struggle - this is the first and most essential ingredient. When you know that you'll do what it takes, you have the fuel you need to begin your journey.

2. Awareness

Once you're committed, you have to turn up that awareness a notch or two. Meaning, that when you are breaking a pattern, no matter how committed you are at some point you will feel pulled back into your old pattern. This is the most important time to "observe" what you're doing. Watch yourself - notice what's happening. If you're trying to say, exercise daily - you'll get super committed and then a few days in your brain will try to give you all kinds of reasons why you can't exercise today. Instead of buying into that - notice what sets you off. Notice when it feels difficult - but don't let it take you out of the game.

3. Contemplation

This is what you do with that awareness. Remember, you must contemplate what you're wanting to create, not what you want to avoid. When you are contemplating, you can ask yourself questions like "how is this new habit serving me?" "How can I make this easy?" and "How do I feel when I've done this, and what impact is this having on my life?" It's really hard to lose your momentum completely when you're asking yourself questions like this.

4. Support

Let's face it - it can be much easier making changes with a strong support system. A support system consists of two main categories. A personal support system is first. This is your friends, the loved ones in your life. Keep in mind that just because someone is a friend or family member doesn't mean they're a part of your support system.

These are the people that support who you really are and what you're up to. Many of us feel lucky when we find one person who does this. If you take having a support system seriously, you may need to get out and make some new friends. When you are thinking about your support system, ask yourself these questions:

1.Can I fully share my visions and dreams with this person and have them be supportive, and tell me I can do it?

2. When I'm having a bad day can I trust this person to hold space for that and offer what I ask for? (asking is important - never assume someone knows what you need. if you do ask, can this person be there in this way?)

3. Is this person a person who is primarily positive or primarily negative?

In the spirit of "you attract that which you are", are these things true for you if someone were to ask them of you? This is your first step, to be a great support system for others.

When you're doing a lot of change, you're going to have your ups and downs. When you have someone that even says "hey, I believe in you" - that can help lift you up when you really need it.

The other kind of support is education, classes, coaches, workshops, and programs. It's things like this that keep your expanding, growing, and having some kind of professional guidance to help you stretch yourself. I'm always reading books, taking courses, hiring people to work with me and because of that I'm not only always receiving new information, but brilliant techniques to help me apply it into my life. In fact, most successful people are nearly always working with a coach of some kind.

Most of the time we're working with the same stuff from yesterday, and it's those tools, beliefs, and methods that are producing your current result. Remember the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

5. Structure

Make a plan, write it down and be SPECIFIC. This will help you so much, you don't have to waste time figuring out what to do and trying to remember. When we're trying to form new habits and let go of old ones, being very clear on what to do is imperative. The best way to be very clear is to write down what you want to do, and put it in a place you can see it!

You can do this. You have all the power inside of you at any moment. Today is a new day, you have a new chance. You know more today, you're wiser and have more experience. Most of all, you deserve nothing but the best!