Allow Your Child To Be the Master Of His Body
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Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. Jim Rohn
I remember when my oldest son was born, it was November. He was born in Los Angeles and my Mom came from New York for the big event. My mother insisted on dressing him to go home from the hospital. Being a New Yorker (and since it was the beginning of winter,) she put on a onesie, then put him in a sweater outfit and then wrapped him in a blanket. And then, do you know how long you have to wait for a wheelchair to transport you out of the hospital because they don't allow you to walk out on your own? Well, it was Thanksgiving Day and we had to wait for over an hour before we could leave. There was my new son inside a Los Angeles hospital all bundled up. Of course my son couldn't really communicate yet since he was only 5 days old, but I am willing to bet that if he could have, he might have mentioned that he was warm and could we please take off a layer or two.
Since then he has learned to communicate quite well and he has often asked to take off layers and to be dressed less warmly tha
I thought appropriate. He is now an adult so he no longer asks, but, I have to admit, there were many times when he requested to dress lightly and I did not honor those requests. I recently listened to an interview with Steve Sisgold who spoke about discovering and honoring your child's body wisdom, something that, in these instances, I did not do.
It is so important to listen to our kids when they tell us what is happening in their body. For example, when they tell us at dinner that they are full, do we ask them to finish what is on their plate? (When I was growing up, the line my mother used was “There are children starving in Africa” How did my finishing my food have any connection to them not having food???)
Our kids know if they are full or hungry, and we should listen to them. And if you think that they might get hungry later on, then leave the plate with the food on it in the refrigerator. Yes, it is a bit more of a pain and you will have to wash that dish separately, but think about the relationship your child will have with his or her body and the relationship they will have with food! If they only eat when they are hungry they will never be overweight. If they listen to their body and eat the foods their body tells them to eat, they will have all the nutrients they need.
It is similar to listening to our kids if they say they are warm and want to take off one layer. I don't think any child ever got hypothermia from taking off one layer during the fall. I am not saying you should allow them to play outside in the snows of Alaska for the three hours in just a t-shirt, I am saying that we should honor and respect out children's opinions and requests, especially when it comes to their own body!
And this could extend to dress as well. Honor their choices and honor their opinions. Not necessarily with anything and everything, but in general, honor them. You may give your opinion as to why you think a piece of clothing may not be appropriate, but try to honor them. This will lead to your child honoring themselves, and, in the end, they will honor you as well!
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About the Author
Shaya Kass, PhD is a parenting coach.
I help parents create relationships with their kids that give a lifetime of smiles. Sincere, deep, loving relationships. Having a parent coach can help you create one of these fabulous relationships. I offer tips and techniques for growing happy, inspired kids and parents at http://www.PositiveParentPlus.com.
Visit now for a free report on The 7 Key Steps to Being A Positive Parent.
Shaya can be reached at DrShaya@PositiveParentPlus.com
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