Avoiding the Trap of Self Pity

You don’t always get it right. I don’t always get it right. We make mistakes and fail at times. It is a natural, albeit annoying part of life.

And it feels poorly. Who am I kidding. . . .it is horrible! Depending upon the situation, it is either disappointing or gut-wrenchingly crushing.

It cannot be avoided.

What can be avoided is the tag-along emotion of self pity. Self pity often joins Failure, staying in his shadows and waits to pop out when we are at our weakest. When Failure hits us with a powerful right cross and we are down for the count, Self Pity comes along and throws a blanket over us. It whispers, “Why is this happening? Why us? We are good people.”

Herein lies the danger. Failure, despite its sometimes strong presence, is a temporary experience. We fall. We get up, only to fall again. Only to get up again. All the while, we are moving forward, sometimes unbeknownst to even us.

Self Pity tries to hang the title of “Martyr” around our necks. Our ego becomes recognized in this instance and we end up playing the game of Victim to get more sympathy. Never a more harmful cycle is found in our lives.

Avoid this trap by accepting Failure as what it is – a temporary set back. An opportunity to find a better skill, become a better person and learn a new way of being. It is an exercise in learning to get back off the mat and become the man or woman that we know in our heart of hearts, we can be. Remember that time when our significant other looked at us so deeply and so lovingly with those eyes? That is the person we really are. That is the person Self Pity is trying to hide.

Stand up. Recognize that Self Pity is a dramatist, a fake friend interested in the status quo. Self Pity has never helped anyone overcome anything. Let it pass harmlessly through the emotional channels without holding on to it, not even for a second.

Oliver Wilson said it best, “What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.”