AWARENESS - MOVING TOWARDS MASTERY

AWARENESS – MOVING TOWARDS MASTERY

My life path up until now was difficult and I suffered a great deal. I mention it now so that you can relate to my journey and how everything led to me being who I am today. If those terrible things did not happen to me as a child, would I be the person I am now? Absolutely not. I know without a shadow of a doubt that the events that occurred in my early childhood, being molested at 18 months all the way into my twelfth year created the foundation for chaos and unrest. Depression and reactivity and emotional instability led me to therapy and then on to self help. I read everything I could get my hands on, I attended workshop after workshop. I learned everything I could learn about the human psyche. I knew I needed to help myself. I could not depend on others to do it for me. I had to take responsibility for myself. I continue to study and learn and will continue to do so until the day I die.

I have learned that the people that do horrible things to us in our childhood and into our adulthood are just doing their job. They have been contracted with us before our inca
ation to do certain things that will eventually evolve our souls. The only purpose that these things happen to us is because we asked for it to happen.

Taking responsibility for contracting with our perpetrator brings up anger initially. I was incredulous when I first realized that I had actually asked for abuse as a child. There are reasons we don’t remember what happened before we inca
ate. It is for our protection. If we remembered what we did before we were inca
ated it would be like knowing what the gift was inside the package before we even opened it. There would be no learning, no evolution and no growth.

Everything that happens in our life is for our soul’s growth. God and the Universe is always and in every way conspiring for us, as my friend Nash Morad says. It is a great quote to remember as it helps us recognize that no one is out to get us. No one is after us. It is that simple. Once you recognize that is a Universal truth the forgiveness comes much more easily.

I began to look at my relationships and studied the correlation between each one. I realized that there was a common denominator and with an increase in my awareness of my contribution to my life I began to look more deeply into my own pain and suffering. I knew I wanted something different. I wanted to feel grounded and happy. I wanted real love that did not hurt me.

My life path was filled with obstacles and difficulties. What I have come to realize is that it does not have to be so difficult. Through these blogs I will share my experiences with you and my victories. I have begun to have many. I know I deserve it and so do you.