Banish Self-Limited Beliefs!

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. We have oodles of passion, motivation and drive to reach our highest goals, but for some reason we’re just not reaching them! We quit before the finish line or we quit before we’ve even started trying. One of the major blockages to achieving any goal (whether it’s getting that project at work off the ground or buying that doer-upper to get into the property market) is our belief about whether or not we can achieve it. Perhaps we start off thinking that we can achieve anything we put our minds too, but gradually our positive beliefs are eroded by our engrained negative self-talk: “my boss always has to step in to get the project back on track”, “I’ve never been able to save enough money in the past”, “everything I do turns to dust”, “I always make such lousy decisions”. Interesting, isn’t it, how we are ever intent on sabotaging exactly that which we are so desperate to have!

Where do these unproductive negative self-beliefs come from? Well, from a load of places really. A belief is made up of building blocks that gave gathered over time and provide all the evidence you need to believe them. Let me give you an example. I work in the marketing/advertising industry and I have always suffered a little from a lack of confidence in certain areas of my job. One area is “knowledge” – I am not always confident that I have the expertise that my clients are expecting. I feel as if I may say the wrong thing in a meeting or make a mess of a presentation. This lack of confidence really used to hold me back and to some extent still does. Not only does it impact my current position, but I may also shy away from great opportunities elsewhere. I must have gotten this lack of confidence from somewhere, there has to be a reason why I believe all of these things about myself.

Negative beliefs are formed by the evidence that we collect and store in our minds, proof that this belief has to be true. For me, it was an old boss of mine who made numerous comments about things I had said being “wrong” and mocking me after a particularly difficult and last minute presentation in front of 50 people, among other things of course. For me, breaking a negative belief seems to be twice as hard as creating it in the first place! I now need to go about finding all the evidence to support why I can do all of these things. If I can see the proof that I will not say something wrong or mess up a presentation, then perhaps I will start to truly believe it. And I will know when I truly believe it, not when I am able to force myself to step out of my comfort zone, but when I jump out of it without a second thought.

So how can we all take a step closer to breaking down our limiting beliefs? Pretend for a moment that you have a fear of delivering presentations because you get so stressed about messing it up and fumbling through it.
1.Firstly, acknowledge to yourself that it’s OK to feel frustrated or disappointed with whatever it is that you’re being held back by.

2.Secondly, acknowledge how great it is that you’ve recognised that you need to address this so you can improve your presentation skills.

3.Next, think about all the things that have led to the negative belief (the building blocks). What has caused you to believe that you cannot do presentations? Write them all down, there is likely to be much more than one over a lifetime.

4.Ask yourself to think of a time when you did feel good about a presentation you did. Was is at school, was it early on in your career, or was it last week? Even if it’s just one or two, it’s still something positive to show that you can do great presentations!

5.Explore this further – your fantastic presentation: where were you, who were you presenting to, what was the topic, where you standing or sitting, what was your PowerPoint like, what were you wearing, what made this presentation feel so right? Think of all the smells and sounds, sights and feelings that accompanied it – the more detail, the better!

6.Everything that you identified in the point above can now be used as supporting evidence that you can do great presentations. With this wonderful information, you can work towards building up your confidence again, and supporting it with some wonderful proof.

7.Now we can plan for installing this new, positive thinking about presentations – start making an action plan that takes into account all of the things that were present when you did your great presentations. For example, if you did great when you knew the topic really well, when you wore your favorite black suit, when your PowerPoint was colourful and animated.

8.When your next presentation comes up, what do you think you will do? Will you be more confident with the knowledge that you CAN and HAVE delivered great presentations? Will you wear that gorgeous black suit, learn everything you can about the topic and beyond, take a quick online course of designing PowerPoint presentations? Of course you will!

This is a really simple model for understanding and overcoming your limiting beliefs. But you might still struggle. That’s OK. In fact, if you need a hand or someone to help step you through this, do send me an e-mail. I’m currently studying towards my life coaching and personal development qualifications and I’d love some guinea pigs to explore with – all free of charge of course. If you’re interested in taking on this fabulous opportunity for any area of your personal develop (not just limiting beliefs), send me an e-mail too kerrie.hawkins@gmail.com or visit www.kerriehawkins.com