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Being True to Yourself and Others

Topic: Positive PsychologyBy Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LPC, NCCPublished Recently added

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Can love be real without sincerity? Most would agree that sincerity is what makes love what it is. Genuine love is true. And it is true love that we all want. We want to know we are sincerely loved for who we are. We want to know that it is with sincere motives that those who love us say and do the things they say and do for us. We want to know a love that enables us to trust without fear of being unloved and rejected. We want a love that remains loyal and faithful to us no matter what happens. We want to be loved sincerely. And that is how others want to be loved by us as well. Sincerity is most evident when we are honest and truthful with others. It requires us to be our true selves rather than manipulate others into believing we are someone we’re really not. No one likes to be lied to or deceived. Lies and deception destroy trust. Betrayal of trust is probably the worst relationship pain we can experience. Without trust, relationships do not have a strong and solid foundation upon which to be built. Without trust we may question and doubt that we are truly loved. It is only when there is trust that we feel safe enough to open up our hearts to others and grow more sincere in our love. Sincerity communicates love. When we are sincere we: * Can be counted on to be honest and trustworthy * Remain faithful and keep our word—making only promises that we can keep * Are dependable and consistent in our words and actions * Mean what we say and do not mislead with lies * Are motivated by love that is genuine * Can be our real selves and not be phony * Will not deceive others for our own selfish means * Do not flatter others to get our way * Do not take advantage of others’ ignorance or innocence * Have integrity and exemplify good morals Love that is sincere is the real thing. It remains faithful in the face of betrayal. It is trustworthy regardless of others’ dishonesty. Its motives are pure and not corrupted by self-centeredness. Sincerity is a profession of love that is true. REFLECTION: What does it mean to be loved sincerely or genuinely? Do I believe I am sincerely loved? By whom? How do I know? Can love be true without honesty? Why or why not? What motivates me most to say and do the things I say and do for others? In what ways am I not my true self and give a false impression of who I am? Can others trust me to mean what I say when I compliment them or share my thoughts and feelings? Think about people you would describe as sincere. Does their sincerity enable you to trust them more? Why or why not? EMPOWERING THOUGHTS & AFFIRMATIONS: A relationship built on anything but trust and sincerity is like a house built on shifting sand. I can be true to myself and others. I choose to keep my promises or not make them if I cannot keep them. I choose to be real because people who really like me will like me for who I am. I choose to faithful and not compromise my values. I choose to be honest in my compliments and avoid flattery and insincerity. Character is much easier kept than recovered. ~Thomas Paine It's impossible to be who you're not, so why not just be who you are? ~unknow This above all: to thine own self be true. ~Shakespeare, Hamlet Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others. ~Erich Fromm Taken from The 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships Part 11 (Love is Sincere) by Krystal Kuehn, BeHappy4Life.com Copyright © 2006, 2010 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.

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About the Author

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children counseling and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal is also author of several blogs: Give Thanks journal, Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog.

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