BLESS YOUR MESS! Your Greatest Problem is Your Greatest Opportunity

by Sheila Pearl, M.S.W.
Have you ever fantasized about living a life without any problems? A life that is neat and tidy, with no mess? If your life is anything like mine, you might have started your day by putting out fires, cleaning up some kind of mess, solving some kind of problem. Just when you thought you had everything all figured out, just when everything was beginning to run smoothly...bang! Something happened that created a disruption in your plans; something occurred that caused some kind of mess...

What if I suggested that your life is perfect right now, exactly as it is! And...further...what if I suggested that all the fires, problems, and especially the messes were absolutely perfect vehicles for you to become fully “awake” to yourself and your life's journey?

Hmmm...you might wonder... Am I suggesting that relationship struggles, financial challenges, and the chaos that exists for you and me are indeed our instant access to each of us becoming increasingly more awake and aware?

YES! I am suggesting that as we each evolve our own consciousness, it is these very “messes” that poke and prod us to grow and evolve. Each of the problems we are challenged to solve and and each mess is what we need at this exact moment to push us through another birth canal of our lives.

Whenever we talk about “awakening consciousness”, we're talking about growing, evolving, stretching beyond where we were yesterday into another level of “aha” for the next step of our journey.

In my work as life coach and speaker, my motto is: “I'm not here to change you...just to wake you up!” Each of us has a moment-to-moment opportunity to become increasingly more awake and aware of who we are and what this journey called LIFE is about for us.

To become fully awake, pay attention to what is right in front of your face: Have you ever been driving somewhere and suddenly wonder where the heck you are? Your mind has wandered, and you're not sure if you missed your exit? Life can get to be like that, also. We can be “driving along” and forget where we're going. It often takes a big “problem” or “mess” to hit us over the head and capture our attention.

What is your current situation? Your current problem? Your current mess? Pay attention to whatever it is. It might be an important relationship that is not working well. It might be your finances which are a shambles. It might be your health. It might be your physical surroundings, like lots of clutter, summer clothes which haven't been put away yet, paperwork piling up on tables and desks, leaving little room for working at your desk or eating on your dining table.

Whatever is in front of your face is your opportunity to become awake to yourself: notice the issues in the relationship and ask if this is a pattern for you? Are your complaints about this relationship something that follow you wherever you go? If you are staring at lots of debt and never quite have enough money to get you through the month, pay attention to this, if it is pattern, a habit. Notice if your clutter is an ongoing habit and gets in the way of feeling comfortable and creates barriers to getting work done or having a social life, pay attention to what you have created inside that clutter.

Whatever we have created in our lives shows up as our current results. As I look around my office, I see lots of ordered clutter, stacked clutter, boxed clutter, bagged clutter and ask myself what the benefit and cost might be of all the clutter I create. The benefit? Well...I'm surrounded by stuff that gives me the illusion of being busy and always having more to do tha
I have time in which to complete it. I can often use my clutter as an excuse to postpone other work I may not be motivated to do. The cost? Energy. My clutter does cost me energy. When I'm looking at it, I'm feeling exhausted thinking about what needs to be done to clean it up, and it contributes to my feeling overwhelmed.

At home, I noticed the clutter growing in my bedroom, to the point that I had no room for a man in my life. There would have been no place for him to sit, no place in the closet for his stuff. What was right in front of my face? Clutter getting in the way of my inviting a man into my life. When I saw this clearly, the “aha” moment pushed me into clearing out the clutter in my bedroom, sorting through clothing from the Spring and Summer months, while bringing out clothing for Fall and Winter. This effort took a whole day; but at the end of my clean-up, I felt energized, empowered to take charge of my space, and could breathe freely in my own bedroom. I realized that as I cleared the spaces in my bedroom, I was also creating the intention of opening my heart and my life to that special man being in my space. It was liberating!

A client (we'll call him Matt) came to me on the heels of being diagnozed with MS. He was in a panic and understandably concerned about his physical condition and his future as a husband, father and provider. After a long conversation, discovering that Matt had lived most of his adult life as a very “uptight” and “anal” person (his wife's description), I exclaimed: “Well!...it seems your diagnosis is your wakeup call!” He looked at me astonished. Yes. His body was forcing him to stop and to pay attention to what was right in front of his face. His physical condition was possibly an outgrowth of his lifelong habit of being “uptight” and “anal”. I invited him to pay close attention to what was right in front of his face: with this diagnosis, he was now aware of the fragility of life, of the importance of his body functioning well. He began to see that there was indeed a mind-body-spirit connection within him, and that his lifelong resistance to enjoying himself or spending money on simple pleasures with his wife and family was a “tightness” that eventually found its way into his body's immune system.

Just like the story of Matt, I have many clients who express to me that they feel their lives are “falling apart”. My response? “Good!...It's important to fall apart so that we can break through to another part of ourselves which we have not seen or have not allowed to emerge.”

Acknowledge your current circumstances as golden opportunities to grow: If we can see each mess, each problem, each obstacle as an opportunity for growth, we can “bless” the mess, instead of cursing it. As you and I take steps to “awaken consciousness”, we're taking action on our growing awareness – the little and big “aha” moments -- as we stretch beyond where we were yesterday into another level of “aha” for the next step of our journey. If we can acknowledge our current situation – whatever it may be – as a golden opportunity for growth, you and I are also “owning” our lives and refusing to step into a “victim” role.

At this moment, my financial stability is shaky. I own that fact. I'm not moaning about it. Over the past several decades, I've made certain choices and often lived by default rather than by design.
I'm taking action steps every day to be financially responsible; it isn't easy for me, since I am a creature of habit, just like everyone else. My awareness of the problem isn't worth much, unless I take consistent action to change my current results. I am “awake” to the realities right in front of my face; awake to the need for making choices about how I spend my money (just like spending my time), acknowledging that each choice has a consequence. When I spend $45 on a fund-raising luncheon, it may cost me when I want to buy myself a new pair of shoes. When I invest $7500 in education for myself, it may cost me when I have to cough up money for my taxes or auto repairs. I don't like looking at the “realities” of my life like this! But to be fully awake and aware, I owe it to myself to look at what is right in front of my face and to acknowledge that my current circumstances are golden opportunities for me to grow as a responsible adult, making responsible choices about my use of money.

Whenever you and I can make conscious choices, rather than living by default, we are living a more “awake” and “aware” life. As we take action in this way, we are truly awakening our ever evolving consciousness.

There cannot be an expanding consciousness for us without taking action on the “aha” moments. When my life's circumstances poke at me to pay attention, when I “see” something in my mess that is screaming at me to pay attention, that is the moment of “awakening” for me. Without the mess, without the obstacle that is creating an irritation, I may not be motivated to stop, look, and take action that may actually generate growth.

Bless your mess!