Buying Yourself Time: Saying "Yes" to You

Timing is everything. When someone asks you to do something, how strong is the need to respond right away? You feel the pressure and are more likely to say "yes." Later when you have had time to think about it, you regret that choice. People want you to respond under pressure. That way it is on their timeframe and not yours. They are in control.

There is increased pressure to say "yes" when standing face to face with someone and they are waiting. You can feel the tension mounting and don't want to make them unhappy. Unless this is something you really want to do, take your time to consider whether you want to make a commitment or not.

Making a decision under pressure is uncomfortable and likely to say "yes" in those circumstances. Once you walk away, you will think of all the responses you could have used instead. Your inner critic will remind you of all the answers you didn’t use when you were on the spot. The self-imposed pressure of the moment prevented you from thinking of those brilliant responses.

Here's your secret weapon to buying yourself time. Tell the other person "Let me think about it and get back to you later." That's it. That is all you need to say. You are not agreeing, or disagreeing. You are remaining neutral, simply buying yourself time because you don't want to answer under pressure. Now you are in control. You can call back, text, email or talk to the person at some later time that is convenient for you.

Your time is valuable. Realize that when you are saying “yes” to someone else, this takes away from something that you might have wanted to do for yourself. Consider the amount of times you agreed to do something for someone else and that meant changing your plans. When you said “yes” to that person, you were also saying “no” to yourself. How would you be different if you said “yes” to yourself half as often as you say “yes” to others?

Activity: Think of how things would be different for you if you began to buy yourself time and not answer under pressure. Once again, visualize yourself doing that, try it out with people you know and like. The more you practice the more comfortable you will become. Before you realize it, you will be setting boundaries and feeling more in control of how you want to spend your time. Make the choice to say “yes” to yourself and see the difference.