Can I Overcome Shyness?

If you’re shy and you’ve tried multiple ways to change without success, then you may be wondering if it’s even possible to overcome shyness. This articles answers that question.

Shyness is very common. Some people manage to beat their shyness and gain more social confidence, but many seem to not be able to overcome it. In this later situation, they often conclude that shyness cannot be beaten and they simply give up.

As a communication coach, I often work with shy individuals and I came to develop a well documented understanding of the psychology of shyness. For this reason, I want to give you a pragmatic and realistic answer to the question: “Can you overcome shyness?”

The key idea to understand about shyness is that it’s basically a behavioral and emotional condition. Shy people feel anxious in various social situations (meeting new people, talking about themselves etc.) and they and up behaving in a reserved or awkward manner.

What makes shy people feel and behave the way they do? It’s a way of thinking, based on limiting beliefs. What shy people have in common apart from their timidity is a tendency to exaggerate the probability of making fools of themselves in social situations, and the cost of this happening.

Thus, shyness essentially emerges from the way you interpret reality, from the way you think. This is really good news, because you can consciously change your thinking,

Using the proper psychological techniques, you can voluntarily alter the way you see yourself, they way you interpret various social experiences, and the beliefs that support your thinking. This is a proven psychological fact.

You may be wondering: If you can overcome shyness, why are so many shy people unsuccessful at defeating it? The answer to this question is two folded.

First of all, although there are effective techniques for beating timidity, there are also many more ineffective ones. And sadly, many of these ineffective techniques get marketed really well.

As a result, a lot of shy persons fall into the trap of buying and suing programs and products that teach such techniques. Of course, they get little to no results, and they mistakenly assume that their shyness is unbreakable.

Secondly, many shy people don’t apply the tools and techniques for overcoming shyness persistently and systemically. They apply them for a few days or weeks, and then they give up. Since the tools that work need to be applied for a while before they create results, their early abandonment is unfounded.

So far, the best researched tools for beating shyness are the ones in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Coaching. The research clearly points that these tools create real results. In addition, there are thousands of documented cases of success with the use of such tools.

The Cognitive-Behavioral approach is essentially about exposing yourself to the thing you are afraid of in a gradual way (the behavioral part) and changing your thinking in a systemic way to a more realistic one (the cognitive part). Thus, a dual and powerful change happens.

In conclusion: can you overcome shyness? The answer is yes. It take perseverance and the use of the right tools, but there is no doubt that it can be done. If you’re shy, there is plenty of hope for you. Seek the help you need to beat your shyness, take action, keep at it and you’ll make impressive progress.