Browse Communication Skills and Training

POT OF GOLD A most glorious rainbow brightened up the Singapore skyline as the sunset. Students I was teaching wanted to stop and enjoy the rare sighting of the beautiful hues cascading between the skyscrapers. Exclamations of this is so lucky and rainbows mean good luck delighted the class and it took a good 10 minutes before we resumed again. NO PIE IN THE SKYr

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REAL REALITY I like teaching IELTS (International English Language Testing System) because we deal with current events and practical issues. I also like it because it is a test of English where every aspect of life is analyzed from the point of view of past, present and future. This is a wonderful opportunity to think about how far we have come as a civilization and how far we may progress. WHAT IS YOUR FUTURE?

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People sometimes ask me to pray for them. I always do. But sometimes they wonder: why did I not pass that exam when you were praying and blessing me. The answer is perhaps that was not to be for you at that particular time. Possibly a greater lesson is needed in your life and that is the lesson of humbleness or the lesson of proper preparation. Or perhaps a greater blessing is on the way. There is an expression: Repetition is the mother of skill, so actually if you enjoy the journey of doing something again you could actually learn and benefit more from your endeavors.

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I wish someone had told me this when I was in my 20s: Don’t grow old, just grow. But whatever age you currently are – there is still time to just grow. SEEING INTO THE FUTUREr

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One of the biggest blocks to emotional intelligence and effective communication is emotional reactivity. You know how it is, you have all the best of intentions to have a productive communication with somebody and they say the “wrong thing” – the thing that pushes your “hot button”. Often it can be a criticism, or a negative reaction to your “great idea”. In any event, defensiveness arises and communication becomes regrettable. This shuts down any creativity or collaboration that could be possible in this situation.

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USE IT OR LOSE IT. This applies to all English speakers and those who are learning English. So here are 10 tips to improve your English.

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NOTHING IS TOTALLY BLACK AND WHITE Lies in the virtual world and lies in the real world are a fact of life. The seriousness of such lies and how we react to them depends on our values and how serious we view the lie. Lying is never good and for some people totally undermines a budding friendship. MISREPRESENATIONr

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WHAT DO DIVORCE RATES SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE? We have all heard about the high rates of divorce in the West and we have also heard about how people are increasingly shunning marriage in the UK and US, opting instead for living together or singledom. Are soaring divorce rates indicative of an out-of-date institution that is totally irrelevant in modern times? They are definitely indicative of the fact that people are not prepared to continue a marriage and want out! NATURAL versus UNNATURALr

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Here is a true story about the importance of seeking the big picture. In a chemical plant, the night operations manager discovered that the end product had changed from a vanilla color to pitch black. This was terrible. They could never sell this stuff. He ran around checking all the gauges to discover the problem. They were all OK. He scooped up some of the black product and analyzed it in the lab. There were no significant results.

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INFORMATION OVERLOAD Do you have a penchant or an additiction for modern communications? If you are like me you will be hooked on a number of social networking sites. I have limited myself to active participation on three social networks. Facebook to keep in contact with friends and family. Twitter because famous people actively tweet and you can follow them if you so choose and Linkedin because it showcases my curriculum vitae. Well these are the justifications I have for being active on these networks. FACEBOOK NEEDS NO INTRODUCTIONr

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When I was an MBA student at Harvard Business School, professors rewarded strategic thinking. I excelled in strategic thinking and was therefore able to do well even though I was poor in math. In each case we needed to clarify what really mattered to an executive and the company. I could do this exceptionally well by focusing on the big picture. I saw what pieces fit in where and what was needed to complete the puzzle.

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SHARING IDEAS An incredible revolution is taking place and it is not always for money but is fuelled by passion. This amazing revolution is the worldwide accessibility of videos and how people are viewing them, creating their videos in response and in effect upping the ante in a particular area. This is happening at all levels from youngsters revealing exciting break dancing moves to men and women in white coats disclosing scientific breakthroughs. MASS ACCLERATED ACCESSr

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What does it take to change the world or your world? Have you thought about this awesome concept. Or do you shrug your shoulders and give up? What do you have to do? Well firstly you have to tackle your thoughts. Only if you change your thoughts can you begin to change your world and then on to changing the world. Simple, but let us dissect the actual thought processes and actions needed to really make a difference. WILL A WAYr

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If you truly want love then you have to consider how you approach love. Make your relationship last with these 10 loving tips. 1. Find a way never to criticize – even the type that is believed to be constructive. Instead think of ways to help and support and just do it. Always have the mindset that there must be good reasons why they behave in the way they do.

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© 2014 Susan Fox yoursecretwishes@gmail.com in the US and Canada, 24/7 message line (740) 531-0400 Many people say they’d love their life better if only things were different. Have you ever thought that idea yourself? Do you say, “As soon as (something happens) THEN I’ll be happy!” Well, the good news is that you can be happy right now…if you choose. People who feel overwhelmed in life often also feel worried they are powerless to change things for the better. But the truth is, with small changes virtually anyone can experience big life improvements.

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The Yes "I am jobless" Camp by Faizan Laghari Jobless for over 10 yearsr I can only speak for myself in this regard. The fact of the matter is that I haven't had a job for 10 years now. Definition of Jobr As I always explain in my presentations, a "job" in my opinion is where I go for an interview, get hired, get a job description, and am told this is my department, my team, my manager and my boss (who I'll probably never meet often). I'm also told that XYZ is my salary and benefits each month.

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WHERE DOES SUCCESS COME FROM? Behind every successful man is a team of people – past, present and future. You probably have heard that “Behind every successful man is a woman.” It is certainly true that a good woman can really help a man to be successful, but the truth is that behind every person is a team of people who have helped in some way. BEHIND NAPOLEON HILL IS ANDREW CARNEGIEr

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4 Ways to Connect With Your Customersr By Susan Foxr Freelance Copywriter thesusanfox@gmail.com n© 2012 Susan Fox PO Box 421 Avon, Ohio 44011rn(740) 531-0400 24-hour message line These simple marketing ideas can connect you with customers and qualified prospects in a unique way: 1: Create An Event at Your Store That Interests Your Customersr

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Mega Movement A new movement is developing and it has an acronym: MOOC. MOOC stands for Massive Open Online Courses. How big it becomes is anyone’s guess but if it is free then it will attract legions. Think Again One of my friends encouraged me to get involved. He said he was taking Think Again: How to Read and Argue by Duke University. The platform is https://www.coursera.org/. The courses here are currently free and lead to a certificate or Statement of Accomplishment. Music to my ears: Free and a certificate! 1. FREE

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Founder and CTO of Pringit.com, Muhammad Nasrullah shares how he has kept his high tech start-up afloat and booming. Good ideas might seem to be the most challenging aspect of start-up success but getting it up and running and revving up to booming depends on attracting and building up the right talent. Muhammad Nasrullah has identified 7 challenges which he has an uphill task to overcome. 1. Talent Scout

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Will you pay for a professional resume writing services? 7 points to bear in mind. 1. Call in the Professionals Not the Clownr

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1. Words and attitudes define us. “Challenges, challenges, challenges. Difficulties, difficulties, difficulties … Avoid repeating such words; otherwise they will become the part of your life,” says Hammad Siddiqui, Deputy Country Director of the Center of International Private Enterprise (CIPE) Successful entrepreneurs utilize positive words to propel them further and higher. They uplift themselves to the higher realms – the realm of spirit. Entrepreneurs are the most spiritually connected people

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Into the Futurer Have you ever been asked the question: Where do you see yourself in five years time? Whenever I have asked myself that questio I have not really had a good answer. Actually my first consideration is money. I hope I will be earning more money. I also hope I will be with the same company. What do you feel when asked that question? Will you be able to look back with satisfaction and contentment about your achievements? If five years is too much, how about one year in the future? Rarity

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Hedging your Bets for successful entrepreneurship Testing the Watersr Although gainfully employed, Suhail Ahmad wanted to ratchet up excitement in his life, so he decided to ride two boats in his 20s: Full-time employment but starting his entrepreneurship journey on the side. Q Why did you become an entrepreneur?

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Great Ideasr The greatest challenge to the greatest ideas is how to take your brainchild and make it real. An idea is just a thought – a figment of the imagination. How do we get it out there? We need someone to talk to. Asian Culturer In Asia, gurus are revered teachers and masters and life often resolves around the coffee shop. Thus in a friendly place, people with good ideas can get help from social media experts – entrepreneurs who have been there and done that! This is the aim of www.CoffeeShopGurus.com On the Drawing Boardr

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Attract Clients and Promote Your Business By Hosting a Community Event byr Susan Fox © 2012 Susan Fox Do things so your business becomes known as one that genuinely supports worthy local community causes. Doing so, local people support your business. Help, help, help rather than sell, sell, sell. Publicize Your Community Support When the community knows you support an important cause, more people will buy from you. So, show you care about where you live. This sets you apart from your competitors.

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Attract Clients and Promote Your Holistic Health Business byr Susan Fox © 2012 Susan Fox thesusanfox@gmail.com 24-hour message line (740) 531-0400 Do your clients have specific needs, wants and desires? Yes, they do. When your clients feel dissatisfied, don’t they seek ways to resolve their dissatisfaction? People passionate about something, make an issue of it or support a cause that makes things better conce ing the issue or cause. You can use your holistic health business products or services to support an important cause and make a change for good.

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Spurts of Growth Blessing B: Believe your ideas can grow to be great things, that your mind can achieve great things when you let yourself grow. Blast yourself with brimming ideas that you are growing and growing. L: Life from the growing point of view lets you become more: experienced, knowledgeable and wiser. Learning is key to staying mentally young. Live larger than life and overwhelm your mindset with the idea of great growth. E: Enhance your life with the energizing thought, belief and strategy that growing mentally is easy-peasy.

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Princess Partyr Every weekend I teach more than 10 classes at different levels. One of my classes is an all-girls class at Primary 2 level (they are 8 years of age going on 9). They love princesses and wanted to have a princess party. After getting the parents permission we finally had our party. What is a Princess Party? This is my first time to attend a princess party and this is the format: Pure Privacyr As this is a private party, there were no cameras because royalty don’t like to be photographed when they are off duty. So there are no pics. Wallflowerr

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THE BLESSING OF FRIENDSHIP B: Blessed beyond compare are we when we have beautiful friends. Beside me, I feel so blessed, loved and cared for. Friends certainly bless our lives and are a blessing. L: Loving thoughts are all I feel for my friends. Loving ways are the hallmarks of great friendships. Loyal friends are worth more than apples of gold and silver. E: Endearing qualities are produced when two friends express their friendship and love for each other. S: Super blessed are we when we find our friend soulmates.r

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Criticism is not nice. In fact, whenever we are criticized we feel it most deeply and more so if we think that criticism is unjustified. Muslims feel a personal insult whenever their beloved Prophet is insulted but Mike Ghouse says we should use such instances to learn more about our faith. Personification of Tolerance “Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) (PBUH) lived through criticism and Muslims can learn from his example,” says Mike Ghouse. Firmness of Faithr

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I wish someone had told me this when I was in my 20s: Do not grow old, just grow. Whatever age you currently are, there is still time to just grow. SEEING INTO THE FUTURE As you get older you will not look the same. In fact, if you look at your parents and grandparents you will know in what direction your body and face will be heading. Split Personalitiesr

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There is a great power in giving thanks and Mike's tips are guaranteed to lift the spirits. Balancing Actr The expression of gratitude is the ultimate balancing act in everyone’s life. We know whom we receive the good from and we offer our gratitude. Harmonyr The absence of a simple thank you creates an imbalance in the relationship and spiritual energy, while a simple thank you restores it. Caring Experimentr

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Entrepreneurial Enterpriser As an employee at Ericsson Muhammad Nasrullah was creating massive telecom networks but he felt there weren't enough services, so he left and “came up with a mobile social network which would be a gateway into other services.” He became an entrepreneur and one of his startups was Pring. Social Ring “Pring is now Pakistan’s largest social network. We’re connecting Pakistanis on any handset with information and people they care about,” explains founder Muhammad Nasrullah. Users send over 12 million text messages daily. Change Agentsr

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Muhammad Nasrullah, founder of Pringit.com, takes obstacles in his stride. In every challenge, there is an opportunity for the entrepreneur to capitalize upon and take advantage of. Q: How do market conditions affect the entrepreneur? A: The economic environment has a key impact on how people perceive risks, innovation and business.

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Pillars of Successr Action, right direction and creation are the drivers underpinning many of the entrepreneurial success stories. For Rehan Allahwalla and Muhammad Nasurallah, vision, passion, garnering experience and service have been the main supports of their entrepreneurial adventures. Hitting the markr

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Startups can fast track their brand by leveraging on net news outlets and by blogging. Indeed, all startups need to develop blogging expertise too - to generate a buzz of their own and to make it easier for bloggers to post news items, soundbites and articles. In other words, ensure your startup has in place dynamic social media management, the best brand and product awareness strategies, all feeding business development. Q: How do startups build brand and product awareness?

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Cool Passionr There is a case for arranged marriages says Rehana Matri. “Arranged marriages, even if the couples get engaged and get to know each other, are not marriages of the heart but of the brain. And so they are missing that fire that love marriages bring with them from day one. Some fires that were really huge burn out very quickly after marriage. Arranged marriages often remain cool and without passion, but remain in good working order and without complication,” believes German-bo Rehana Matri.

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HEALTH B: Blessing your health and the health of your loved ones and all humanity is one of the best things you can do. Blessing yourself and others will make you feel better, and you will make a positive contribution to your well-being and those around you. L: Living it up or lazing away the weekend is well-deserved downtime to rejuvenate for the week ahead.r

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FAQ How do I improve my English is a questio I regularly get and I would like to share with you the secret of improving your English. Boring Secretr It is a boring secret which a lot of people don’t like when I give them that advice. It is to read every day. Practice Propels you Towards Perfectionr

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byr Susan Fox © 2013 Susan Fox You want more customers. Your website or blog professionally tells all about your valuable offer. But if it doesn’t contain useful information for your site visitors, your content might actually repel them. What might you do? Change your website content. And write it from the viewpoint of your visitors. Why change your website content? Because if the current content doesn’t interest your site visitors, they click away. It needs to be changed if it doesn’t connect with your market. Think about yourself when you visit an online site.

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A World of Meaningr Idioms are phrases with special meanings. Straightforward idioms are usually ones all speakers of English can understand. Clichés are said to be overused phrases – but some so-called clichés are so apt (suitable) that they convey a world of meaning to us and more importantly enlighten and illuminate our thinking. Listening and Silencer

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Spur for Greater Life No one gets out alive. Indeed people such as Steve Jobs used the inevitability of death as a spur for greater life. If you are going to die anyway what is holding you back? That was the lifestyle approach of Steve Jobs. Lifetime of Success Think about how you approach life. We all need sources of income and for most of us that will be a job or running a business. How can we find ways to propel ourselves to success and greater success? The Story of your lifer

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Blessed Situationsr People sometimes ask me to pray for them. I always do. But sometimes they wonder: why did I not pass that exam when you were praying and blessing me. Lessons still to be Learned The answer is perhaps that was not to be for you at that particular time. Possibly a greater lesson is needed in your life and that is the lesson of humbleness or the lesson of proper preparation. Or perhaps a greater blessing is on the way. Reaping Benefitsr

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1. Entrepreneurial Excellencer In The Craft of Selling Yourself, Ashraf Chaudhry says we are all entrepreneurs. Everyone - yes you - will benefit if you develop this business-orientated mindset. Labels have a great impact on our mindset. In fact they determine our mindset, action and life. 2. Brand Positioningr

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Gentleman Sportsman Imran Khan is Asia’s most successful cricket captain and in the top ten of most well-known sportsmen in this continent. Gentle Giantr Blessed with more than his fair share of charisma, charm, affability, eloquence and powerful, driven passion, Imran is a legend in the cricketing world, spanning the globe all the way from Australia to England. Founder of a renowned cancer hospital, he is also an enigma on the medical map too. Imran’s never-say-die brand of success comes from the 12 principles revealed here. 1. Making the Impossible Possible!

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WEB WARS Robert the Bruce was fighting for the independence of Scotland against the English, but he lost a battle and was hiding in a cave. He was downtrodden and perhaps even contemplating that everything was hopeless. He was not alone in that cave. A spider was his companion and he watched with wonder as the spider spun his web. The spider tried many times to create his web but never gave up. A SPIDER NEVER GIVES UP SO WHY SHOULD YOU If a spider never gives up, why should Robert the Bruce, so he resolved to fight again. Our spider was both patient and persistent.

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1. Insurance man logic Rejection is a fact of life but the more people you ask the more likely you will get a yes. This is the approach of top insurance salespeople. Look for the yeses in life and accept that nos, also known as rejection is just the right of another to say no. Their no is because a yes is not consistent with what they think is good for them at this point of time. Is rejection realy so bad? You can’t get anyone to say yes unless you are willing to take the risk that they will say no. When you don’t ask, the answer is always no. 2. It’s Nothing Personal

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The Tsunami of Appreciation Blessing - kick start great blessings in your life with a wave of appreciation that blesses, waters and nurtures you and your surroundings. B: Begin with your surroundings and find one thing you can appreciate and put your appreciative focus upon it: a painting, a flower, something you really like and really focus upon it, increasing your feelings of appreciation for it. L: Life is best played as a Kim’s Game – where you remember every detail of beauty – the jewels in our environment that we can find, remember and appreciate.r

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Sloppy Speech? Rehana Matri sparked a response when she expressed: I wish Muslims would stop speaking English sprinkled with Arabic terminology because every word that is in Arabic can also be said in English. Why this mix of language, it does not help anyone who is not learned in the Arabic language. Just read someone writing about the concept of Ibadah. What is Ibadah? Even if a Muslim knows the meaning of the word a non Muslim would stumble on the word and will have no clue what the article is all about. So why be so sloppy in your speech? Closer to Allahr

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Simple Ideas for Writing Interesting Marketing Content by Susan Foxr Freelance Copywriter © 2012 Susan Fox yoursecretwishes@gmail.com 1-Build genuine relationships with your target using casual tone content in your marketing copy. Unless your target is a business or technical based prospect target, too many statistics bore your reader. So use everyday casual language to engage.

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Raining Down Blessings Upon You B: Beliefs are at the core of our being, so be prepared to go deep to brighten up your thinking. L: Learn to think in bigger and better ways. Let your imagination run riot and imagine your mind is overflowing with wisdom. Look harder and deeper at the universe living within you. E: Every time you think of your blessings you are impressing upon your mind, soul and heart the good things you have, and you will feel better. Every time you think of the future you are impressing upon your mind that you have a direction and a place to be.r

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Impressive CV The irony of life is that we need an impressive CV but its impressiveness is not what bags the job. It is a good intro but then … A Leg in the Door No more than a leg in the door, resumes get you in front of the hiring people, but it will be a compelling story that will get your past the door and into a work station that is truly yours. Preparation is Key

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Lament of Loss “The time we had spent with someone. The time we know, we are never going to get back.” (Muhammad Mohsan Zaki) May the Blessings Ber Oh this is sad and so true - I wonder why we spend so much time hoping when the other has made it so clear that they don't want you. And yet we do. A very sad aspect of life, or perhaps it is to our credit if we have good thoughts and wish the best for them. If only if should become may the blessings be. Stages of Lossr In a relationship break down – there are a number of stages. Stage Oner

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The Island of Utopiar Freedom – the most misunderstood word in the English language If there was a poll to decide what is the most misunderstood word in the English language I think freedom might be high in the voting stakes. When there are millions of people how can we all live together without rules. Rules must be limits on freedom. Some types of speech and actions are very violent in nature but the extent of the limits of free speech is very controversial. No Free Love in Utopia

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Reality of Lifer We are souls and our body is the outer covering or protection. In most societies even the body needs protection for warmth, safety and to avoid unnerving stares or unwarranted advances. Most people will agree on this. Horsepowerr For thousands of years horses were our main means of transportation and animals from the horse family (mules, asses, donkeys) were beasts of burden and still are in Asian and African countries. Horsing Aroundr Still today people go horse-riding the world over. Horses Are Inr

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Beautiful Blessing As a parent, you are in the greatest position to bestow blessings upon your child. Many will just wish for a healthy baby while some are more ambitious: the child must get to a good university and make millions. Your Wishr Whatever your wish for your child and there should be many for a well rounded upbringing, the top three would be financial finesse, culinary skill and social charm. Financial Finesser

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Scenario A: You’re a man in a room predominantly full of women at a convention. You sell websites and website hosting. As a man, how will you talk with women in a professional, ethical, meaningful way to successfully sell your products and services? Scenario B: You’re a woman ...

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The Best Place in the Worldr Imagine the most idyllic place your imagination can savor and luxuriate in? Creating Utopiar Imagine this place where people are always so fair, honest, kind, nice, helpful, sweet and generous. This is what Utopia is. A Man For All Seasons Have you heard of Sir Thomas More? If not, I would like to introduce you to him. LONG LIVE UTOPIA Sir Thomas More, a lawyer by profession, made a contribution to the English language by coining the word Utopia when he wrote the book of the same name. WHAT IS UTOPIA?

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Seek Knowledge I was not born Muslim, but the one piece of Muslim philosophy my mother imparted to me was if the mountain would not come to Muhammad, Muhammad would go the mountain. This Muslim philosophy had such an impact that I have wanted to know about the man who is so revered by millions of people around the world. Seeking Knowledge This proverb reminds us to be seekers – to seek knowledge and to seek everything we need in this life. If things won’t come to me then I must go towards what I want.

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1. Fear is natural It is natural to have some fears, so face your fears and consider whether your fear has a good source or is actually irrational (a fear that we should dismiss or conquer). How to be fearless is one of the hardest things for most people to do. Recognizing and facing the fear is the first step you should take. Many people are fearful about wearing the hijab. Here are some thoughts about fear in general and about the hijab (head covering) and conservative clothes in particular. The points here will help you to be fearless and more successful. 2. The Fear that Killsr

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Pursuing Love A chance meeting can be a turning point in life: This is the story of entrepreneur Abid Beli from Karachi in Pakistan when he met a pretty girl in a park. Smitten, to him she was marriage material but his parents did not quite share the same level of enthusiasm. He was left with the impossible choice that no one likes to make – remain with family and its benefits, or carve out a new financially independent life enabling him to defy tradition. Choosing the latter and the entrepreneurial route, he has never looked back. Launch Pad of Marriager

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EASY PEASY For some there is no easy way to success – it requires learning from mistakes and is one of the best ways. Take Steve Jobs for example – he certainly had ups and downs before he met with meterioic success. Here are 10 points that help you have more success more easily. 1. ACTION Are you really taking action to move your dreams forward. Think of what actions you can take and do to get moving. Focus upon what the action will bring you. In other words, you need to think what this action will bring you. 2. NEWNESS

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Today I answered these 100 questions. I think it is important to answer these questions if you are thinking of marrying, or remarrying. If you would like to see my answers drop me an email at susanmckenzie2003@yahoo.co.uk. MARRIAGE 1. What is your concept of marriage? 2. Have you been married before? 3. Are you married now? 4. What are your expectations of marriage? 5. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse? 6. What are your goals in life? (long and short term) 7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.

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100 QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU GET MARRIEDr

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The writing secrets of Virginia Woolf with comments by Susan McKenzie 1. TREAT ALL WRITING AS AN ESSAY A good essay must have this permanent quality about it; it must draw its curtain round us, but it must be a curtain that shuts us in not out. (Virginia Woolf). SUSAN MCKENZIE: Treat all writing including business writing as a form of essay writing – where you have a beginning, a middle and a great ending.

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Delivering an effective presentation to 20 or to 200 people is difficult. Because listeners have better access to information since the internet became commonplace, audiences expect more content from speakers today. In addition, because of the entertainment slant of most media today, audiences ...

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Usually the emphasis on making an effective speech is what you do in preparation before the presentation begins. But if you speak very much, what you do after the speech can help you become a more effective speaker. As soon as possible after the speech, write down impressions of how you felt ...

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Centuries ago great speakers often spoke two hours and more. But today when sound bytes on television news are the norm and serious problems are solved in an hour on a television drama, audiences are most interested in speakers that get their points across in a short period of time. In a ...

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Make use of the propelling force of being thirsty HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THIRSTY? If you have gone all your waking hours without a drink, you will appreciate that wonderful elixir called water when you do get the chance to quench your thirst. Now take this thirst and have a thirst for learning. Only knowledge and more knowledge will quench that thirst and just as we need water every day and lots of it, we need knowledge. PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PEACE BE UPON HIM (PBUH))r

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BEACONS OF BEAUTY BLESSING B: Beautiful life, beautiful love – we can express it all. L: Lap up the beauty and love all around and say thanks and give thanks for all you see, feel and what touches you. E: Exceptional beauty abounds – etch the bounty of beauty upon your mind and soul and let it stain you with goodness. S: Stains of beauty upon the soul are the best stains to have – stain it so much that your soul of beauty is recognized by all. S: See the beauty in all situations because in 99 per cent of situations there is some beauty.

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EFFECTIVE WRITING IS A LEARNABLE SKILL THE FACTS OF THE BUSINESS WORLD Think about it – a significant part of your job consists of communicating with others. This communication will be both speaking and writing. Email, letters, memos, proposals, office materials, promotional copy and a wide range of other documents. Here are 13 tips to improve your writing impact. 1. Brief is bestr

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BLESSINGS FROM THE WISDOM OF HAZRAT ALI B: Bear sorrows and calamities patiently, otherwise you will never be happy. (Hazrat Ali SA). L: Learning is one of the five pillars Hazrat taught: Learn to admit ignorance and learn what you do not know. E: Endurance and patience go hand in hand if you want to build the highest values and live the highest life. S: Sin is the only thing you should fear, so drive out sin with goodness. S: Success comes to those who are patient, although it may take a long time to reach you.

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Often managers have to deliver presentations with unpleasant content. The vice president has to announce that there is a hiring freeze or a downsizing. The human resource director speaks to the employees about a benefits package with fewer benefits. Because executives are often speaking in ...

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What are you headed towards? The divorce courts or your golden wedding anniversary? BLESSED MARRIAGE BLESSING B: Bonds of love need to be reinforced to keep the bonds strong, stronger and the strongest. L: Loving, long marriages are revered by society when we celebrate silver, golden and diamond wedding anniversaries. Loving, long marriages are the best love stories. E: Exemplary love is the good example loving, long marriages give to society. S: Showing love, respect, care and attention are some of the best ways to fertilize a relationship.r

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Would you like to do a nice thing for some human beings? Is there any cost? No cost. All you have to do is register at this website http://globalchallenge.mit.edu/about Just sign up and then you can vote. You can sign up as a friend of MIT. Signing up can be very quick. What is this website and organization? Who hasn't heard of MIT – Massachusetts Institute of Technology? The renowned American Institution. THE MIT GLOBAL CHALLENGEr

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We are good at talking, but we have trouble listening. One sage said, “The only reason we listen is because we know we get to talk next.” Here are some tips that can change your listening behavior now. Names! First, repeat a person’s name when you first meet him or her. This will make you ...

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Some speakers say, “I could never use humor in my speech; I just don’t feel comfortable with it.” I believe that anyone can use humor and that it is a valuable tool in speaking. Appropriate humor relaxes an audience and makes it feel more comfortable with you as the speaker; humor can bring ...

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WAYS TO CONNECT Facebook is a place to connect but is it a place for love? Facebook can certainly be a starting point; obviously it can’t be the ending point for love such as marital love. Also is it true or real love – is it sustainable and lasting love? Could Facebook be a good starting point for marital love? If we look at Western love – starting on Facebook cannot be worse than meeting in a bar or club. Numerous Western marriages start in bars, clubs and discos. BAR LOVEr

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What do Helen Keller, a blind boy and you have in common? In common – means things that are the same or similar – things we share. We share this great universe and we are all human beings. If you are able to read this you have your physical sight, while the blind boy and Helen Keller did not have theirs. We may have physical sight but do we have the eyes that really see? That is the question to consider. If you change what you say, people will change what they see!r

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THE DAYS AND NIGHTS SO FAR Story 7 by Queen Shahrazad – This story was told by King Yunan to his evil Wezir (Vizier) as a reminder that if we do things when angry we may live to regret those actions. King Yunan could only see gratitude for the sage of Duban who had cured him of leprosy and could not believe that this sage meant him any harm. Queen Shahrazad told this story to impress upon her husband the dangers of jealousy and that the consequences of our actions may be irreparable. FITS OF JEALOUSYr

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LOVE CREATES MIRACLES Where there is great love, there are always miracles, penned Willa Cather. LOVE IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS This is certainly true of Adeline Yeo who decided that to follow her true love she would paint from the heart – the core of our loving nature and of love. Adeline follows her true love and puts to work love in action. LOVE AND SKILL CREATE MASTERPIECES John Ruskin said – when love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. JOU EY TO LOVEr

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You can’t love without getting hurt! There is no doubt that when a relationship comes to an end, the one who did not want the relationship to end will feel hurt. Even during a relationship when we experience disappointment we may also feel hurt. At these times we should think how we can be more trusting, caring, loving and forgiving. Here are two examples of love and how to approach love. Khadijah, the first wife of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)r

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MARVELOUS MYSTERY OF LOVE For a long time I have been dwelled in understanding this mystery. FAHM O SHAOOR Really love is beyond all the so-called fahm o shaoor. Fahm o shaoor means the realizing of wiseness in Urdu. It means the realization of wiseness or in this case a greater realization about love. Fahm o Shaoor means the way of understanding. LOVE IS … Love is so indescribable. It's a feeling that you've come home. It's this thing called love! LOVING LARGE It's bigger than us, isn't it? TWO BECOME ONE – I BECOMES YOUr

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FIT FOR A KING Fit for an Emperor, Fit for a King, Fit for a Queen, Fit for a Princess, Fit for a Prince are all expressions that mean that you are making something so good that a member of the royal family would appreciate. Emperors and Kings are associated with the richest, most opulent living and the highest,wisest thinking as they think for a land, nation and people. We can think of the wisdom of King Solomon, the persistence of King Robert the Bruce, the quick-thinking of King Charles II and the never-say-die daring of Queen Scheherazade. Charles, Robert and Scheherazader

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Hunger Pangsr By Day Four of Ramadan (the fasting month for Muslims) Mike was feeling exhausted and hungry from noon onward. HOW TO DEAL WITH HUNGER The solution: pray for hungry children and people around the world in Congo, Haiti, Somalia and Burma. Mike Ghouse: “The tragedy of Rohingi people in Burma shatters me… it is the identical humility that the Vietnamese suffered, and Darfurians and Palestinians are enduring.” REAL RESPONSIBILITYr

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MONKEY BUSINESS Monkeys may be able to do it but can humans? And that is to see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.Can you hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil? GROWING UP WITH THREE MONKEYS Three little monkeys in the form of a small ornament took pride of place in the living room of my grandmother. For all of my growing-up years, I was fascinated by it and studied it for hours and hours during the first two decades of my life. Indelibly imprinted on my mind, I was equally fascinated by the symbol it stands for. ASIAN ORIGINr

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How high are your standards of English? When I joined the British High Commission I was to be introduced to the High Commissioner’s wife. We had a lengthy conversation and during that introductio I used the word ‘can.’ We had a good laugh when she suggested my usage was Singlish. I took to heart what she said, so I was quite amused to see an English teacher writing to the local Singapore press to say that it is perfectly acceptable now to use the word ‘can.’ ACCEPTABLE OR NOT?r

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Make marriage a paradise – here’s how. MARITAL UNIVERSE When you marry you get more than a spouse – you actually get a whole world. THE BLESSINGS OF MARRIAGE Partner, companion and best friend are the three top blessings you get when you marry. SHARING YOUR LIFE Joys and sorrows, successes and failures, dreams and fears – all moments big and small are there for sharing. Joys, successes and dreams will be sweeter for the share. Failure, fear and sorrow are soothed and solved when shared. CARINGr

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YOU CAN’T OWN ANYONE Paulo Coelho in Eleven Minutes wrote: “No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” QUESTIONS After reading such a quote the following questions come to mind: Do we really never own anyone? Can we really embrace such an idea? What are the benefits of this freedom? Is this the type of freedom worth having? WHAT DOES THIS QUOTE MEAN?r

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THE POWER TO BE HAPPY BLESSING B: Bump up your mind to the highest level by reminding yourself that nothing can make you unhappy. L: Little things should never take away your precious peace of mind, so reduce every issue in your life to its smallest point and then crush it in your thoughts and reality! E: Every day when things cause you conce – give those issues the let it be treatment (can you exist calmly with it) or the let go treatment (a way to just let it slip away). Everything is alright is the place of mind and thinking you should embrace.r

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Both in your business life and your personal life nothing is a waste of time if you take the capitalize on everything you do approach. Here are 10 ways to benefit. 1. I HAVE ENOUGH TO BE HAPPY Of course you do. Never be upset with what you don’t have. Strive to be content with what you have and think of ways to appreciate it more and to grow it into something greater than it is now. The secret to happiness is making the most of everything that comes your way. If you look at what is missing then sure you won’t be over the moon. So you have to embrace what you have and make a go of it.

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SET FORMULA FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE I don’t have a guaranteed formula for a successful marriage but I do have some ideas on how to make a successful life which includes being reasonably happily married. These are principles and ideas taught to me by my mother who has never divorced. She has been married twice. Her first husband passed away and her second husband was my father’s closest work colleague and best friend. Her second husband was a single man and had never had a girl friend before. 1. DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTIONr

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Improve your personal and business life with the right lists - 9 ways CONNECT WITH POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES 1. 10 IMPROVEMENTS. Make a list of at least ten improvements you could make. Consider health and fitness, career, home, business, family, hobbies, education and training. Come up with at least 10 or more –things that would improve your life in some way. Putting them in writing makes them more real. Treat this as blueprint of your plans. When you need extra oomph – get your list out and count positive possibilities. GET IT WRITTEN DOWN

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MODERN MINDSET Do you have a questioning mind? Most people have heard of the adage that curiosity killed the cat. This means if you question too much it could lead to bad results. WHEN CURIOSITY IS GOOD However, it is good to have a reasonable level of curiosity because one of the meanings of this word is eager to learn and we need to be eager to learn if we want to develop more. NEW DEFINITION Curiosity killed the cat is a proverb that has been around for over 500 years, but in the IT and Information age needs to be modified to suit the contemporary world. OUT WITH THE OLDr

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Self-preservation or the greatest respect for othersr I live by the words of Shakespeare – that nothing is good or bad except thinking makes it so. I also believe we need to assess a situation from all angles and not jump to conclusions, or if we do take the time to reflect upon those conclusions. We need to let anger subside before we come to a conclusion. MANY MOTIVATIONS We may act for self-preservation and we may act out of fear or we may act out of respect. THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLDr

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DO YOU HAVE A MENTOR? Mentors can be from the past, present or even fictional. Shahrazad is strictly fictional but I feel she could be real – a composite character of realness, and she is my mentor because for me she is real. PARALLELS WITH LIFE Fiction can be so real because it draws upon real life. This is how it was in olden times or with a composite character – it is so real. DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS In olden times Kings had the divine right to execute their wives and if the Queen was unfaithful that was high treason and a capital offence. OFF WITH HER HEAD!r

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THE GREATEST LOVE/HATE STORY The most wonderful love story is the story of Scheherazade. The king had been betrayed by his first wife and he proceeded to take his anger out on a new bride who after the first night would always be beheaded. Some 1,000 women suffered the same fate until a feisty young lady came along, despite protests by her father, and thought she could avoid this grizzly fate. PERFECT PLANNINGr

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Yikes! I’ve got a problem. Get it off me! Think about clients unsolved problems like it’s a ‘thing’ that’s attacked them. Imagine the problem being a huge blood sucking bug from an alien planet that’s attached itself to your ideal target’s spinal fluid. That ‘bug’ is simultaneously injecting your clients with weird, alien, microscopic robots the size of individual cells while draining their life force. If you don’t do something quick to help them, those microscopic size robots will take their lives over.

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IMMUNE TO STRESS BLESSING B: Beat stress by not letting it arise in the first place. Beat stress by realizing what your place is in the great scheme and reality of the nature of things. Building up your immunity to stress should be one of your goals. L: Let the Lord guide you in all things. Let the Lord give you understanding, answers and a true purpose. E: Entertain only equanimity-of-spirit thoughts that automatically calm, soothe and keep you at the highest level of understanding.r

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SUCCESS WAITING TO HAPPEN There is a proverb that gives a warning: This is an accident waiting to happen. A dangerous situation has been created and it is inevitable that an accident will happen, sooner or later. Let’s reverse this idea and let us do all the things that will lead on to success. In other words, this is success waiting to happen. Very soon you will be successful or more successful.

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THE BEST MARRIAGES How to have a match made in heaven. Here are the secrets for a successful marriage, however it takes two to believe in them. MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN In Islam marriage is a form of worship, a social obligation, an act highly admired by Allah SWT and a way of life (Sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upo Him). BENEFITS TO MAN AND WORLD 1. Marriage is a life-long commitment and partnership. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stated divorce was the most hated act of all lawful things in the sight of Allah.

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Allowing the audience to ask questions after your presentation is an excellent way to reinforce your message and to continue to sell your ideas. In addition, because listeners can ask for clarification, audience members are less likely to leave your presentation with misconceptions about the ...

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Allowing the audience to ask questions after your presentation is an excellent way to reinforce your message and to continue to sell your ideas. In addition, because listeners can ask for clarification, audience members are less likely to leave your presentation with misconceptions about the ...

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When using the word ‘can’ is a serious faux pas. Can (Part II) There is a land of bad, inappropriate and totally wrong English. It is called the land of faux pas - make sure that is one land you avoid. THE IMPACT OF LITERARY ENGLISH ON ENGLISHr

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UPLIFT THE FUTURE BLESSING B: Base your life on positive possibilities that you can envisage, dream, work upon and create. L: Let your feelings come from the beauty that is inside of you. Look forward and embrace the limitless future as it arrives one day at a time. E: Envelop your consciousness and your life in the goodness that can now come from your life. S: Support and encourage yourself with uplifting words. Savour those words as they uplift you. S: Seek ways to uplift yourself more and to believe more in yourself.

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To the Americans it is Mom, but to the British it is Mum! (or is it!)

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HARMONIOUS HOME It is very important to find ways to co-exist in harmony with others so that we can have a better world. RELIGIOUS REACHr

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A touching true story of love I would like to share a true story about my mother. ENGLISH DOWRY We are one of the rare English families to get a daughter-in-law with a dowry. WE ARE NOT AMUSED Brother number 1 wanted to marry a Gujarati girl but her family were not amused. DANGEROUS DATE However, Gujarati girl wanted to marry him, so her family summ/ned my Mum and (Step) Dad for an interview/interrogation. UNCOMFORTABLE DISCOMFORT After hours of interrogation from many family members – they agreed subject to some conditions. LASTING IMPRESSIONSr

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THE FIVE PILLARS Why are you on Facebook - do you really have clear reasons? I do. I have five strong reasons why I am on Facebook. They form the five pillars of my social media presence. You should think about why you do anything in this life - and the more good reasons you have the more likely you will use your time productively and to best effect. Facebook can be a boon and a benefit to your life and your life purpose if you know how to use it properly. A HAND IN FRIENDSHIP AND NETWORKINGr

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The greatest words and writing secrets by Virginia Woolf (Part 2) Woolf is considered one of the greatest innovators in the English language. 1. POWER WORDS: “When I cannot see words curling like rings of smoke round me I am in darkness—I am nothing.” Virginia Woolf Susan McKenzie: In the beginning was the word says the Hebrew Bible – words are powerful – make sure your words work for you. 2. RIGHT WRITING: “The most extraordinary thing about writing is that when you've struck the right vein, tiredness goes. It must be an effort, thinking wrong.” Virginia Woolf

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Want to quickly qualify your target audience? Get inside their mind by writing the way your target thinks. It’s easy to do with practice. When you write copy this way, you quickly connect with qualified prospects. Look at the keywords people type into a search engine box. Those words represent terms and phrases your prospects think. Write copy that sounds like your prospects. It quickly connects you to them in a good way. Men and Women Are Hardwired to Think Differently About The Same Subjectr

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A: Aim to be in state of blessed bliss as much as possible. Appreciate all the blessings you have. B: Believe in blessings and enjoy blessed bliss. C: Cover yourself in blessings. Clothe yourself with blessings. D: Determine to be a blessed person more. E: Enjoy all your blessings, because you have so many. F: Frames of mind are within our control. Frame your mind with blessings. Feast on blessings. G: Garner blessings from everywhere. Go for blessings, way to go. Gravitate towards more and more blessings.

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THIS IS YOUR LIFEr

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CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE, TEACH THEM WELL Numerous songs abound exhorting the importance of treating and teaching children well, because they are our future. If we want children to be kind then we must first be kind ourselves and extend our kindness out toward others. FOLLOW MY LEADERr

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A: Actively bless everyone, everything and Always remember to bless yourself as well. Avidly love to bless and Aim to bless as much as possible. B: Bless you, Bless you, Bless you. Blessings, Blessings, Blessings. BE BLESSED ALWAYS C: Compassion, Care, concern, conviality, and charity are blessings you can bestow on yourself and all living creatures. Creature comfort is a blessing you can bestow every day. D: Dare to dream big blessings for yourself and others. Dream your blessings into reality. E: Extreme benefits come from believing that your life is just one long blessing.

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LIFE IS NOT FAIR Sometimes we can be so right yet so wrong. This philosophy applies in the work place. In parts of Asia, there is the belief that the Boss is always right or more accurately, The Boss always thinks he is right! TAKE A LEAF OUT OF THE BOOKS OF LAW STUDENTS

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AGE-OLD ASIAN STORY There is a frequently told story with a moral that serves to shock us to rethink our priorities.

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SUCCESS WAITING TO HAPPEN There is a proverb that gives a warning: This is an accident waiting to happen. A dangerous situation has been created and it is inevitable that an accident will happen, sooner or later. Let’s reverse this idea and let us do all the things that will lead on to success. In other words, this is success waiting to happen. Very soon you will be successful or more successful.

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OUR INHERENT NATURE We are all teachers and students and we are all leaders and followers. Why do I say this? It is the nature of existence. We have to engage in life-long learning if we want our success to continue. So we have to humble ourselves and get other people, be they younger or older than us to help us learn new things. There are times, however when we should take the lead. As a leader we are in a better position to influence future outcomes. We may not be the official leader, but nevertheless we can take the lead and in effect we have some or all of the power of leadership.

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AWESOME POWER We are more awesome than we often realize, and if you agree with Shakespeare you have at your fingertips an incredible thinking machine in your head. Shakespeare penned: there is nothing good or bad, except thinking makes it so. IN CHARGEr

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Don’t you just love optimism? It’s a feeling that uplifts you, business colleagues, prospects and customers! In your business, being habitually optimistic sets a wonderful tone for your business activities. When you imagine that a good option exists for your life situations, you also can naturally improve your well-beingness. Feel Hopeful Deliberatelyr

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Have you thought about what is the greatest blessing? I think it is is the blessing of life, the miracle of life. Let us transform our life into a living blessing. Let us endow it with qualities that add to life, by being a blessing to ourselves and others. May we all be a blessing to ourselves and others. Here are a selection of blessings that do just that. THE GREATEST BLESSING B: Blessed with life, you should appreciate that to be alive is a beautiful blessing.r

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THE BLESSING OF FRIENDSHIP B: Blessed beyond compare are we when we have beautiful friends. Beside me, I feel so blessed, loved and cared for. Friends certainly bless our lives and are a blessing. L: Loving thoughts are all I feel for my friends. Loving ways are the hallmarks of great friendships. Loyal friends are worth more than apples of gold and silver. E: Endearing qualities are produced when two friends express their friendship and love for each other. S: Super blessed are we when we find our friend soulmates.r

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BRICKBATS AND BOUQUETS Whoever coined the expression brickbats and bouquets summed up the nature of life in these wise words. Or as Dale Carnegie once said: No one kicks a dead dog. Kicks, also known as brickbats, are the jibes from critics or jealous people all too ready to comment adversely or negatively.

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One of the hardest conversations I had with my teenage son was about substance abuse — not about illegal drugs or binge drinking but about prescription drugs. Because they are "prescribed," they might be misinterpreted as safe to use. So it was hard to communicate how they can still be dangerous and addictive.

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THE TWO Es TO LANGUAGE PROFICIENCYr

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CUTE OR CUTIE Recently a spat took place about the understanding of the word cute. One commentator felt that the word cute is usually associated with a child and not an adult woman. It seems that some people have learnt a set sentence, for example, the baby is cute; the dog is cute. This is the correct usage of the word cute, but when it comes to the English language one word rarely has one meaning. It is far from the truth to say that the word cute is usually only associated with attractive-looking children, cats and dogs. ROOT OF THE PROBLEMr

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Do you wonder how to write an interesting blog post? It includes following some simple steps. When you make things simple, your market can understand them easier. Write About Their Interestsr Writing blogs can be easy when you first know your audience. Once you identify your audience, have a casual conversation with them through the content you write. In your content, share something that informs your niche to help them either achieve a goal, solve a problem or live a dream. How to Write An Interesting Blog Post Suppose your ideal niche prospect is: 1. a married woman

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Do you know how to write an interesting blog? Fascinating and interesting blog posts trigger satisfying feelings for a reader. The content either inspires or motivates the reader to act in a way that benefits him or her. When your fans love your content, they see you as a trustworthy business friend. Build Relationships With Your Readersr Whatever you write in your blog post, design its content to develop a genuine relationship with your target market. How do you do that? Give your blog post a specific voice that appeals to your fans.

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LUCKY BREAKS Luck may or may not be a random thing: Some people are just plain luckier than others period. However, for all of us, we can increase the amount of luck in our lives. FIVE MENTAL APPROACHES TO BE MORE LUCKY 1. If you want to be more lucky, you have to believe that there is such a thing as luck, especially good luck. 2. You must want to be lucky, if you want to experience more luck. 3. To be more lucky, appreciate that the good things in your life are the result of luck and blessings.

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LOVE OF LEARNINGrnB: Blessed with the love of learning is to be blessed with the a life-force that is the essence of life. L: Learning to love learning is the secret for a fulfilled and blessed life. Life-long learning is essential to keep up with inevitable changes and is the way to keep ahead of the competition. E: Engender Enthusiasm, Enjoyment and Excitement for learning, which will transform even the dullest task into something that is engaging and energizing.

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THE GREATEST INVENTION When we think about the top 100 inventions, the monetary system is likely to be on the list. Economic systems based on currency circulation facilitate the development of human society. Whatever we personally think of this medium of exchange, can it of itself generate happiness? The answer is in the word medium. It is an enabler but is not necessarily a direct source of happiness. TREASURE HOUSEr

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HEALTH B: Blessing your health and the health of your loved ones and all humanity is one of the best things you can do. Not only will you feel better doing this, you will make a positive contribution to your well-being and those around you. L: Lazing away the weekend is well-deserved downtime to rejuvenate for the week ahead. E: Early to bed and early to rise is some of the best health advice you can live by. Adequate rest and sleep has a positive impact on your health, while inadequate sleep has a detrimental effect. Honor your mind and body by giving it all the sleep it needs.

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WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK? Often when non-native speakers are taught English, they learn set sentences. A student may think they are making progress in their English and in one sense they are. However, when they take those set sentences and try to have a conversation in an English-speaking situation or they have to write spontaneous letters and emails they hit problems. Set sentences are a necessary part of the learning process, but the crucial question is how to go from set sentences to spontaneous conversation and sophisticated writing. 1. DEVELOP ENGLISH (NOT JUST LEARN IT)

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Don’t you just love optimism? It’s the feeling that rejuvenates you after first feeling stuck in life. We are naturally designed to be optimistic. However, being around pessimistic people can cause you to unlea your natural desire to be optimistic. When you choose to be optimistic about life possibilities, you catapult yourself into lively, exciting, desirable relationships and situations. Complaining Attracts Pessimismr

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MONKEY BUSINESSr

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UP YOUR OPTIMISM QUOTIENT B: Benefit from being an optimist. Benefits and blessings are yours when you see the benefits and blessings that flow from a particular situation. Better outcomes are yours when you choose to look for all the benefits and blessings in each situation. L: Look on the bright side, the sunny side, the feeling that the future is rosy and you can make it rosy. May you reflect upon how you can up your levels of optimism. Language is powerful. Practice making it a positive force in your life by using the most optimistic language you can muser.

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WEB WARSr

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SWITCH TO A POSITIVE VEIN B: Being positive all the time is easier said that done, but there are ways to be more positive. For example, the first step is to say you will be a positive blessing to yourself and the world and that you are determined to reap the benefits of making positivity your way of life. L: Life grows richer as you focus on ways to be more positive. E: Expedite your energy to work in a more positive way. Energy can be expedited and revved up if you add a dose of positivity.

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DEATHLY TABOOS We live, we die. That is a fact of life. People worldwide refuse to talk about it, refuse to think about it and refuse to do anything about it. They brush it under the carpet. Do they think it will not happen to them! Wrong! We all die at some time and it is ostrich behavior not to make plans. Ostrich behavior: A person who refuses to face reality. There is a notion that ostriches hide from danger by burying their head in the sand. LIFE AND DEATHr

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THE IMPORTANCE OF PILLARS Without pillars, buildings will never stand. They are the strong columns that are the supports for a building. In the English language there are five pillars. They are the building blocks and the key to fluency and exceptional ability in English. These five pillars are not all equal and are in order of importance. 1. CONTEXT IS ALLr

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LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT! I am sure you have heard this many times: life is what you make it. Definitely your input and your outlook shape the life that materializes. So whether you totally believe this statement or not, you can make a great impact on the direction of your life. TRULY LIVING. FIVE WAYS TO LIVE MORE 1. Think about what you like to do. Implement plans to do more of what you like. 2. What would you like to be? Think of ways you could do what you like or something that is similar or has elements of it.

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SECRETS OF SUCCESSr

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Consumers are deaf to the babble of the advertising class.

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How you can use the power of empathy The intense attraction we have toward reality TV is glaringly obvious. Nothing new here, right? But what is the IT that attracts fans to these shows in the first place? What can we learn here, and how can we apply that to the presenting of our story and products and businesses? Many think the draw of Reality TV is the belief that anyone can become a Reality TV star - no matter who you are. Sometimes a completely normal-looking individual delights viewing audiences and becomes a superstar (Susan Boyle, anyone?).

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There’s the old saying: “It is better to give than to receive,” but really, that’s only the half of it, right? “Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process,” said Jim Rohn. Deepak Chopra, in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, refers to the Law of Giving: “The Universe operates through dynamic exchange… giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of the universe.” While these philosophies are usually associated with wealth and prosperity, they can be applied to your next presentation or media opportunity with great success as well!

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Have you ever noticed how some of the best motivational speakers seem to have trouble completing a thought? It’s not that they don’t know what to say, but I’m referring to the way some will leave a sentence hanging in anticipation of the audience completing it: For example, a speaker might say, “ You’ve got to be hungry like a _______” (He pauses and the audience finishes his thought by chiming in, “wolf!”). Audience participation in a live presentation not only keeps the listeners engaged and feeds the energy level in the room. It has also been proven to greatly improve retention.

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The current state of Marketing is such that the need for change and “New Models” are desperately needed. The trouble is the “New Models” will not prove to be financially sustainable without substantially changing the way advertising and media services are organised. The first thing we must do to start to tackle the problem is to embrace our lack of knowledge about the process of communication. We must allow outside organisations to question the fundamental ideas that shape current advertising. We must allow them to innovate and keep the money saved through innovation.

Published · 1,817 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

I saw a painful surveillance video the other day showing a thief attempting an escape from police by climbing a ten-foot ladder. He plummeted to the ground on the first attempt. The sirens grew louder and he tried again, and fell. In fact, he fell five more times to the cement floor of the store he had attempted to rob before he made his escape. It was almost comical, and the news anchors joked about his tenacity. In his case, fear of getting caught and facing jail time fueled him, and he succeeded in eluding the police.

Published · 2,256 views

Many people have been have been inspired by the buzz about a very recognizable TV producer’s search for the next big TV show host! If this sounds familiar, you already know I am talking about Oprah. Whether you are going for Oprah’s contest, or you have your sights set on other networks that would be more appropriate to you tha Oprah’s OWN network, shooting that pitch video is a great idea. But it can be tricky!

Published · 2,138 views · Rated 5/5 from 2 votes

There are quite a few people out there looking for congeniality. There are those who pursuance for human beings who share there same code of morals, values and self interest. So here it is!! We go backward and forward; men and women, about what we really want in a companion. We change-over our minds depending on our awarenesses and close relationships but the fundamental reality is essentially the same: we have a long way before we get there. Anyone that says they have it under control does not truly understand what dating and finding a spouse is about.

Published · 1,567 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

How to entertain an audience in a time of personal turmoil Have you ever been hit by an emotional boulder? Maybe you just got a disturbing phone call from a family member, had a fight with your significant other or a business emergency that shakes your emotional foundation like a southern Califo ia earthquake. You need some time to process and recover, right? What happens if you don’t have the luxury of time? You are required to speak in front of an audience in moments; they have expectations, and you have turmoil. The countdown to your presentation is on, what do you do?

Published · 1,103 views · Rated 2/5 from 9 votes

There is a name for what advertising agencies do – rubbish – and our predecessors appreciated much better than us its ultimate destination: ruin! Almost all of what advertising agencies do is best summed up in one word – parasitical. By creating advertising out of thin air we have reduced the purchasing power of more deserving members of society.

Published · 1,812 views

Do you know someone that enters a room with flair? They don’t just slide in…but they command a certain amount of attention and recognition. People will glance at this newcomer as they walk by. If they have not been introduced, chances are they soon will be. (Being drop dead gorgeous is not the prerequisite to create this phenomenon, by the way.) This is the power of “owning your space”. On a stage, on TV, in networking events or a small dinner party, being in control of your space is the platform from which you can send out clear and highly effective messages.

Published · 1,273 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

There is an old saying, “A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.” Ever feel like your life or career has hit a rut and from there you can see no way out? Ask anyone today if they love their job and almost unanimously you will here…NO! How sad is that? Think of how great it would be to get up everyday and love to go to work. That is exactly how I feel and when people ask me, “When are you going to retire”, I say never!

Published · 809 views

3 Ways to “Get Over It!” The issue of negative body image seems to be, quite frankly, beaten to death. Resurrected, and beaten again. Everywhere we look, we see headlines condemning the media for creating this obsession with our bodies, and yet, the headlines themselves are developed from the same source that put the retouched photos, and deathly thin models in the spotlight in the first place.

Published · 1,473 views

My presentation was so good in the bathroom…what happened? It’s an old actor’s comment after flubbing an audition, “I was so good in the bathroom at home…” Has that happened to you? You felt prepared, your research was done, your key points were solid in your brain, and you did your relaxation exercises; so, why in the world did your confidence drop in mid-speech?

Published · 2,200 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

The sharpest decline in billings, in 2009, occurred. Billings declined 7.5%, now that’s the sharpest decline since 1944! And cracks are starting to appear in the already complex relationship betwee Agencies and Clients. Everybody appears to be getting in everybody else’s business, which is confusing for Clients and creates new competition for Agencies. One problem is compensation. Go back 10, 15 years ago and people knew how to pay a traditional Agency, but now it’s very hard. What do you pay to get someone to set up a Facebook page?

Published · 1,969 views

We sometimes forget our reasons to get organized once we realize it is a long-haul investment. Our reasons like “to make the house look better” quickly dissipate when all our efforts have brought us full circle back to the place we started three weeks ago. If we don’t understand the lasting motivators to get organized, we may become disheartened along our organizing journey. Experience Peace of Mind

Published · 2,123 views · Rated 3/5 from 5 votes

You may already be familiar with the term, “sound bite:” A sound bite is a phrase that can be pulled intact from an original broadcast and re-used in another venue. So what is the value of a good sound bite? Let’s assume that a good sound bite is about 30 seconds long. We know that 30 seconds can still give you time to get your message across, or at least peak curiosity; think of the best “elevator speech” or mini commercial that you may use in a networking atmosphere.

Published · 1,588 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Perception of behavior is innate, we have been evaluating behavior and movement since our cave dwelling ancestors relied upon disce ment for survival. Actually, in some ways we still rely on acumen for our well being on a daily basis, but now we may not even realize what we are doing. Working with my clients on camera there are times when it may be hard for them to understand that certain behavior or even part of their story may be the wrong thing for mainstream media.

Published · 1,665 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

Have you taken a trip in a small plane? I mean truly small… the type that requires a limit of one carry-on bag only? Aside from the apprehension that I personally feel about bouncing around in a small airplane, I feel a slight anxiety about the packing of this all-important bag. “Carry on only,” the travel documents read; which means that one seemingly diminutive piece of gear has to contain absolutely everything that could be needed for the travel time and the destination. What do you do?

Published · 1,545 views

We have heard the phrase, “God doesn’t make junk,” but do we realize how divinely equipped we each are? Do we wake up in the morning and see a reflection of God’s best work in our mirror, or do we focus on the negative? Do we see only the things that we would like to improve in our lives instead of the gifts we innately have? So often, we see only those few pounds of weight that never seems to leave us or the friend that doesn’t call anymore or that big break that never seems to come.

Published · 2,187 views

Non-attachment is your invitation to soar in complete freedom. Attachment to outer things is not the only attachment we have in our lives. There is a subtler, equally powerful but more insidious attachment that happens in our inner lives – attachment to our thoughts, our acquired knowledge and learned beliefs.

Published · 1,446 views · Rated 2.8/5 from 5 votes

I have been at odds with a crooked palm tree for a long time. Every time I would enter my bedroom, my eyes would inevitably focus on this plant and I would sigh in irritation. For whatever reason this palm has grown sideways, twisted, and then just slightly upward. It defies the rule of a straight and majestic palm. It was not pretty to me. Since I can’t discard a living thing, I placed it in the master bedroom because it was less likely to be seen by guests.

Published · 1,238 views

It is as certain as living and breathing air: everyone has faced bad contemporaneous rimes and we will continue to do so. Exte al factors, locus of control, and other cases create existing conditions that make us unhappy and cause us pain. Great unhappiness can be overshadowed by a spiritual darkness. Do we allow these dark forces to dictate how far we move forward? Do we allow others and social standing to allow us to live better or worse? Do we reach a level of darkness and loss of hope to dictate how we move forward in our relationship with Christ?

Published · 1,414 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 2 votes

“Loosen the reins up, don’t hold her so tight!” yells my instructor across the arena. “You are absolutely nuts,” the frustrated voice in my head yells back. It takes more than a leap of faith to loosen the grip on the fantastically energetic quarter horse as I am watching the fence posts clip by at such a pace that they seem to become a solid wall of white. “She’ll only take off faster if I let go!” but I do as instructed and … bingo: she speeds up. “Isn’t this nice?

Published · 1,786 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

Find the freedom that comes from giving you a break Are you a perfectionist? If your automatic response is “no!” I invite you to take a closer look; there is a well-meaning perfectionist in every one of us! Wanting to be the best, and see things executed to the highest level of quality is a good direction to set your business compass but, I see this quest for perfection keeping people from reaching their true potential nearly every day.

Published · 2,847 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 3 votes

You now know yourself better than most people ever will. So, what do you do with this new found knowledge? First, ask yourself if you have enough fire in your belly to proceed as an entrepreneur in your own business. If you do, you will most likely be highly successful and will enjoy your individual endeavor. That fire in your belly can truly make the difference between success and failure in an entrepreneurial venture. If you find you don’t have this entrepreneurial fire, consider other venues.

Published · 1,191 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

You want to accelerate your success. The very foundation of success acceleration is the fact that some of the principles you have in your belief window are not completely accurate, and they must be changed. Change the principles in your belief window that are not true, and you will be well on your way to accelerated success. Consistency is the best measurement of a well-managed life, and time is the great equalizing factor that establishes a demanding reality for each of us.

Published · 1,661 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Every once in a while, you need to ‘shut off.’ Not to have to think about working, shopping, ironing, bills, relationships, gardening, families, deadlines, children, parents, what’s right and what’s wrong. If you instinctively fell you’d like to do this – you’re right. Your mind and body is telling you that it wants a break, and if you’re being sensible, you’ll heed the request. Your body is remarkable in the way as it keeps going, despite the fact you may not always feed it or rest it properly. It’s the same with your mind – it carries on regardless.

Published · 1,510 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 3 votes

Maintaining your joy of living means being ready to explore and play with the opportunities of learning what life offers. A person whose life is balanced is best placed to leap aboard as opportunities arise. Balanced happy lives usually feature a range of activities which are consistent with positive comfort, control and creativity happiness goals. RELAXATION AND PEACE In our pressure-cooker society you can feel stressed whatever your lifestyle. It is probable that you need to undertake steps to be more peaceful, calm and comfortable, if you aren’t already doing that.

Published · 2,119 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

I had a fantastic Saturday with an intimate group of amazing women in business. Each of them had a story that was so intriguing and each possessed a passion for what they did; they just glowed when they had the opportunity to talk in length about what they did. But, when it came time to give a concise definition of their unique business I saw a problem across the board.

Published · 1,205 views

Time—Are You Its Master or Its Slave? 8 Ways to Manage Your Time By Rosa Chillis “WHY are you so late?” asked the teacher as Joseph walked into the classroom. “Because I ran alongside my bicycle all the way to school,” Joseph replied almost out of breath. “Why didn’t you ride your bike?” asked the teacher curiously. “Because,” explained Joseph, “I was so late I didn’t have time to stop and get on the bike.” This exaggerated, comical story illustrates a situation that many of us face daily.

Published · 1,355 views

You may not FEEL a physical spanking but you can feel a disconnect: things are not okay. A singe not to pray, an avoidance and yes…you may begin to live a noisy life so that you cannot hear God. Admit it: Your on the “outs” with God. When your in trouble with God you know it. You feel a disconnect you cannot necessarily explain. Take practical steps toward healing your relationship with God, whether its been one day or several years. ~~~~~ A.

Published · 1,081 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

If you develop and deliver financial presentations of any kind, you know how challenging the process can be. You have to include a lot of numbers; but you also know that all those numbers put your audience to sleep. When people leave your meeting, you can tell they feel tired and bored. Chances are you do too. It doesn’t have to be this way. The truth is that financial presentations can be exciting and eye-opening if you prepare your content correctly.

Published · 828 views

Have you ever been in the middle of a presentation when all of a sudden your mind goes completely blank? You’re delivering your content and next thing you know, you’re at a total loss for what to say next. When this happens, you may start to ramble or you may begin using non words like “um” or “ah.” You might even turn around and start reading your slides to the audience. If you do any of the above, it is no doubt embarrassing for you, but more importantly it becomes difficult for your audience to pay attention.

Published · 877 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

The news is bad. Few are the days when any positive announcements are made. Job losses are announced by the thousands in many countries. Even if you turn the news off, the negativity still confronts you from everywhere. Many people are walking around with high levels of fear, anxiety and panic. Perhaps you or a family member has lost their job, or maybe you are just waiting for your job to be cut. It’s very hard not to feel hopeless and despairing. Even if you pride yourself on making up your own mind about what is real or not real, the negative messaging gets to you in the end.

Published · 1,545 views · Rated 4/5 from 7 votes

Are you Macho? Not sure? Take the Macho Factor Quiz! One of the most irritating aspects of day-to-day communication is trying to convince someone who takes a Macho attitude. Close colleagues are often dismayed to find that while amongst ourselves we can build on and critique each other's ideas, it is sometimes much more difficult to do this when others are involved.

Published · 1,757 views · Rated 4/5 from 3 votes

Motivation, Reinforcement, Support and Accountability Behavior change is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill. If that were true, then all the information campaigns on how to improve your health would have made behavior-related illnesses a thing of the past. And birth control information would prevent teen pregnancies. Sadly, many people fail to create lasting change in their behavior and will repeat their failures over and over again in their lives. Have you ever tried to break a habit? Organizations, like people suffer from the same difficulty in shifting their behavior.

Published · 2,383 views · Rated 4/5 from 4 votes

Lose over 20 pounds per month. Enhance your love life. Stop being a prisoner of your job. It’s all up to you. Here’s the miracle formula. And we’re going to give it to you for free. Goal-setting will change your life. Throw off the shackles of the shoulds in your life. If you only invest in one program this year, this is the one. Millions have turned their lives around. If someone like this could do it, so can you. Imagine making 40, 50 or 100 thousand dollars a month all from your own part-time internet business. This will make you irresistible to women.

Published · 2,260 views · Rated 3.2/5 from 6 votes

Have you ever attended a presentation and felt as though the presenter was talking at you rather than to you? Great presenters involve the audience in their presentations by engaging them with questions, encouraging two-way communication, and making sure the information they’re delivering caters to the audience’s needs. You may assume that because the information you deliver is routine, or because you work with the people in your audience, that you don’t have to build a strong connection with them while presenting.

Published · 891 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 2 votes

The weather has been unusually bad this summer. Either rain or it’s too hot. Or too humid. And summer doesn’t last very long anyway. The price of gas goes up on long weekends. And don’t get me started on the dollar! When it hit + 10 percent over the US dollar last year I lost a huge amount on my big summer program. Hey, doesn’t this sound Canadian? To the outside ear, this may sound like whining, but what do they know? This is how Canadians connect!

Published · 1,632 views · Rated 2.9/5 from 7 votes

What are the secrets to finding happiness and living wisely? What really matters if we want to live a worthy human life? These are the questions this book seeks to answer. With this are five secrets we must discover about life before we die. These secrets are the foundation of a fulfilling and purposeful life.

Published · 2,547 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

What is the very most important thing that I can say about your voice and about singing? Perhaps it is that, your voice is your birthright. Voice is the primary way that we relay information to others. As we speak, however, only a small percentage of what we actually “say” is in our words. There are worlds of meaning and expression contained in the actual sound of our voices – its pitch, timbre, speed, volume, variety and how it originates in our bodies. As babies we all have natural voices. When was a baby ever conce ed about how their voice sounded?

Published · 1,796 views · Rated 2.5/5 from 2 votes

Recently Harvard Business Publishing reported “The 10 Most Common Leadership Shortcomings”. Below are 5 of the 10 shortcomings you can avoid instantly by improving your communication skills. Your leadership abilities (and your job) could depend on how effective you are at motivating and ...

Published · 3,948 views · Rated 2.8/5 from 4 votes

Not all leaders are in actual designated “leadership positions.” We have the opportunity to be a high quality leader every day, in whatever capacity the day calls for, whether it is with those in our same household or with business people worldwide.

Published · 1,672 views · Rated 2.7/5 from 3 votes

Creating a great workplace culture is not accidental; companies must make a conscious decision to focus and develop a plan that fosters a fantastic working environment for employees. Without a strong culture, there will be no foundation for rapid growth. By focusing on culture, leaders can improve all aspects of their businesses, from productivity and hiring to customer relations and employee satisfaction. The most important aspect of company culture is the physical environment. In many ways, the work space defines the culture.

Published · 2,604 views

Many people are uncomfortable mingling during business networking or other public events. Are you one who is often worried about what people will think of you? The easiest way to get around that is to put our focus on "them". How? First of all, look for people who appear somewhat lonely, standing by themselves. They will appreciate you coming up to them and initiating a conversation. This helps get relationship-building conversations started while promoting confidence in yourself and them.

Published · 3,200 views

Many of us feel uncomfortable revealing to others – and even to ourselves – what lies beneath the surface of our day-to-day consciousness. We get out of bed in the morning and begin again where we left off yesterday, attacking life as if we were waging a campaign of control and survival. All ...

Published · 1,420 views

In a commencement speech at Georgetown University in May 2007, at the very peak of the boom in the financial sector, John Bogle had this say on this subject: One, if you enter the financial field, do so with your eyes wide open, recognizing that any endeavour that extracts value from its ...

Published · 1,380 views

How can we be sure our ambition is following each one's StrengthBank® - the plan for each one’s bank of strengths that will prosper and not harm, give hope and a future? A true ambition or life purpose, that is to live the fullest to the StrengthBank® given you, is usually specific and fixed and will stand the test of scrutiny of motives of your heart and will always bring out the best, not the GONE BAD in you. When conversations occur whether positive or negative each one can teach a forward direction rather than defeat you. The vision you have always known as yours never goes away.

Published · 891 views

Let me remind you - SLAVE and SERVANT are not the same thing - and it’s important to keep the distinction clear. A servant is defined as ‘one who helps others’ – now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing (did I get enough emphasis there???) wrong with helping other people. Everyone needs ...

Published · 1,038 views

Did you make any resolutions this New Year? Most of us did - mostly to lose weight and get in better physical shape. I mean – just look at all the ads for exercise equipment, diet meal plans, books on dieting, etc. Practically everyone does it. Even the Steps to a Healthier Weld County ...

Published · 909 views

It doesn’t take long for a parent to realize that not all children act alike, but we seldom know what to do about it. One child may be bubbly and outgoing while another is reserved and withdrawn. One may demand constant attention while another is content to be left on her own. Studies ...

Published · 1,751 views

The Sensing and Intuition scale represents the greatest potential for communication differences between people, since it really influences one’s worldview. And, when you remember that Sensing and Intuition are the two preferences for the cycle of behavior that has to do with Gathering INFORMATION it’s easy to understand why the potential for confusion and chaos exists in giving communication when you don’t understand and recognize someone’s preference.

Published · 1,476 views

Identify and nurture the select group of people, the most valuable players (MVPs), who will breathe life into an initiative. They are culled from both the internal and exte al core constituencies who must be on board for an initiative to succeed. There are several MVP categories, including political leaders, policymakers, alliances, suppliers, competitors, and detractors. To reach them, hang out where they hang out, publish in their favorite news media, send word through their social networks, and whenever possible extend direct invitations, preferably face-to-face.

Published · 1,793 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

One thing we don’t think much about is the power of our words beyond the exte al, commonly defined meaning of the words. But, as you may know from your own explorations into sound, words also have an internal vibration from which they derive the core, or essence, of their meaning. This ...

Published · 1,780 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Chuck Noll, the four-time Super Bowl-winning football coach, once told his players, “Champions are champions not because they do anything extraordinary but because they do the ordinary things better than anyone else.” This is certainly an extension of Wooden’s preparation philosophy. You can’t ...

Published · 5,645 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

Often, as leaders within an organization, you are asked to lead a team of people in a certain direction and you do so to the best of your abilities. But then, you get a call from the powers that be requesting that you change the direction your team is headed and to do it quickly. This can be a ...

Published · 2,038 views

You may not be aware of it, but singing is good for your heart. Really! When you sing you have better oxygenation, you reduce stress and can alleviate anxiety and depression. These things boost your immune system and make you feel good. And, when you sing with a group of friends, those ...

Published · 1,564 views

The Attraction of Interactive Communication is that it is a return to the prehistoric human fascination with telling tales! Since the beginnings of any civilized society the market place was the hub of civilization, a place to which traders returned from remote lands with exotic spices, silks, ...

Published · 2,094 views

During all our research one constant shone through, that is that marketing is conversations. Current conventional mass media are weak conductors of knowledge and comprehension. This is because of a number of factors, however the main reason is; they are non-interactive communications ...

Published · 2,406 views

The first step to be taken in order to start the Plus Factor operating is to learn to be a creative dreamer. In some uncanny way that no one fully understands, they seem to contain the seeds of their own fulfillment. If you dream something long enough and hard enough, a door seems to open and ...

Published · 1,174 views

Joseph worked hard. As a customer service telephone representative, he showed respect and courtesy to everyone who called the company. But he wanted to get ahead. He wanted an outside sales job. He applied for open positions over and over again; his manager turned him down each time. Finally, ...

Published · 1,191 views

Joseph worked hard. As a customer service telephone representative, he showed respect and courtesy to everyone who called the company. But he wanted to get ahead. He wanted an outside sales job. He applied for open positions over and over again; his manager turned him down each time. Finally, ...

Published · 2,982 views

…Interaction. However, before we do, let us review something recently written and published in Marketing Magazine, the author is Marc Ritson, Assistant Professor of Marketing at The London Business School. "A pipe bursts in your house. When the local handyman arrives, he is carrying a large ...

Published · 2,499 views

Despite what makes logical sense, men and women are with the one they’re with not because of the others’ pedigree or resume or the number of zeros in their bank account, but because of the emotional attachment - the way they FEEL around that person. Valentines Day stirs up a lot ...

Published · 1,086 views

Making the wrong choices – now that would be tragic! Nevertheless, as dumb as it sounds, that’s exactly what we do. So often God shows us the consequences of making a bad choice or walking through life with a bad attitude, and yet we choose that attitude anyway. Then when ...

Published · 1,539 views

Yesterday I had conversation with my friend on Facebook. She wrote that somebody made her cry and she don't want to back to work next day. I made a comment that this is not about her, she was in the wrong place and at the wrong time. I should mention she is working at the hospital; people are not coming there because they want, they are there because they have to be there and of course very often they are not happy being there. Was she in the wrong place?

Published · 1,408 views

What is your favorite movie? How many times did you see it? Why? We all have favorite movies, cooking favorite meals, going to the places we love, meeting with people we feel great when they are around. Why? Because it creates the feeling of joy. We need it to fully engage in life, to be happy.

Published · 993 views

Jodi is waiting for Marco to come to her office. Today is feedback day and she has the Feedback Sandwich formula open on her desk. Marco arrives and plunks himself down in the chair opposite Jodi, submitting himself reluctantly to what is about to occur. “I’m glad you’re here,” says Jodi, ...

Published · 3,913 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Sometimes I think the entire world is crazy. So much that takes place in society seems to be counter-productive to healthy human development. I remember when I graduated from college with a degree in early childhood development. A major study had just been completed that examined the effect of violence on television to violence in the streets. The result was that there was a clear connection. You cannot imagine how excited I was to hear that because I expected the programming on television to change. After all as a society we talk about family values and living righteous lives, right?

Published · 7,069 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

My cousi Adam is autistic. He’s one of the lucky ones. He’s a functional autistic now in his late 40’s and working as a gas station attendant.

Published · 7,682 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

I’m learning that authenticity is in the eyes of the authentic. I have spent the last four years focusing on authenticity as I see it from the American perspective. In my view there’s a great need to help people see themselves and each other from the nine dimensions of authenticity and how we can ‘tweak’ our lives to step into our true selves. It’s been the focus of my work with the nine dimensions of authenticity.

Published · 5,792 views

Over the last several decades a lot of research has been uncovered about intelligence. Previous ideas that intelligence was strictly a brain activity have been tempered with new perspectives. Rather than our intelligence lying solely within our head, it has recently been found that there is an important intelligence that lies within our heart. And some circles believe that heart intelligence is more impactful than head intelligence.

Published · 6,451 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

In my first career as an early childhood specialist I learned a lot about children and how they display their natural gifts and talents. The concept of natural gifts and talents was discussed somewhat in the classrooms of my early childhood education training however the true learning took place observing children in actual child care settings.

Published · 5,983 views

Today, more than ever, deals are sealed at the dining table. If we are not comfortable doing business over a meal, we may be losing business. Strength and making tough decisions ARE compatible with good manners. Many executives and managers are well-educated, but not in social skills. We might not be remembered for good manners but we will be for bad, so strive for etiquette that stands above the rest. At business meals, it’s about BUSINESS. Remember WHY you are there.

Published · 1,479 views

Every day we present our thoughts and ideas to business prospects, teachers, organizations, coworkers and family. Whether you are giving a sales presentation to a large number of individuals or casually sitting across from two people at a table, use the following tips to ensure your non-verbal signals bring the success you want. The more positive and confident your interactions, the greater your success in building a relationship that will last for many years.

Published · 1,558 views

Communication is central to our life—we communicate with others every day, throughout the day. Understanding, appreciating, and accommodating personality differences in communication style can bring major success to our effectiveness as a friend, spouse, employee, supervisor, trainer, leader, and team member. People have different preferences in the way they take in and evaluate information and their orientation to the world around them. As we develop our awareness, understanding, and appreciation of communication differences, we will reap the benefit in our relationship with others.

Published · 2,912 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Enjoy the positive rapport and results that come from these easy and effective tips when working with exte al (and internal) customers: • Check your body language, words and voice. Your non-verbal signals tell the real story of how you feel. Ensure that if your words are positve, the body and facial expressions are too. Tight fists or angry eyes with positive words will tell the listener that the message is not sincere or truthful. • Shift your concentration and put the spotlight on the customer. This is a powerful way to break down barriers and gain cooperation.r

Published · 1,467 views

We constantly transmit messages to those around us that reveal our level of self-confidence, self-respect, and whether we deem ourselves worthy and capable of acquiring their business. Stop and think about what signals you transfer that prompt others to want do business with you. Do they indicate a level of warmth, sincerity, power and ability that says YOU are the best candidate for the job?

Published · 1,237 views

Have you ever heard of this? I know you have not, I just made this term. Let me explain what this is; what an average person does with any idea? Get excited, thinking what hit it can be, how it can change his/her life, what difference it may bring and so on and what is next? Starting thinking what can go wrong, what price has to pay for it, what problems it can create? From high emotion people are constantly dragging themself down, Am I right?

Published · 1,211 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

The rise of giant corporations led to the atomization and specialization of work, resulting in workers being disconnected from both the final product and the purpose of their work. There was no line of sight to the client, and without that, it was impossible to know what clients actually needed, or what would delight them. In a prior age, work, products, and customers were interconnected, and businesses, customers, and communities all benefited from a mutual understanding of the meaning of work. Work put people first, rather than things.

Published · 1,466 views

Effective leaders are able to devise a strategy which will lead to organizational success and then motivate the organization to follow that strategy. The ability to think strategically comes easier for some people than others, but Beeson believes that following certain guidelines can build a person's strategic abilities. People should broaden their knowledge by: * Learning more from customers and others in the organization. * Broaden their perspective on the business and the industry by working in different positions and cross-functional teams.

Published · 3,732 views

5 Steps to Get You Feeling Like a Rock Star in Your Video and Media Opportunities What’s the number one reason people hesitate on moving forward in the use of video or other visual media in their business? I’ve found it to be nearly always fear of some form. Ranging from absolute paralyzing terror of the lens to negative self-talk and overall-fish out of water feeling, fear can cost you! Here are five easy rules to get over it!

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In Part 1, “Is that really ME giving that confident presentation?”, I covered some of the more physical and emotional characteristics for giving a confident presentation. Let’s talk about those silent, yet very loud, signals from your audience. These are indicators that tell you if they are present in mind or in body only. Whether the audience consists of one person listening to your sales presentation, or a room of 500 people from your industry, following these tips will help you present a more engaging session and help build your reputation as a confident, credible speaker.

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Several years ago, I read the story of how the term “reaching for the brass ring” originated. This phrase has always symbolized striving for, and achieving, one’s goals. The carousels of long ago were huge circular wooden platforms with hand-carved, brightly painted panels and beautiful wooden ponies that bobbed up and down on thick, shiny brass poles to the sound of calliope music. Children were so excited for the opportunity to reach out and grab a fist-sized metal ring from a dispenser suspended just outside and above the carousel. Most of the time, they would get a black ring.

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I once read an article about knocking down barriers that keep us from reaching our goals. It is amazing how much two fish can tell us about our own human nature. In the study, a barracuda and a mackerel were put in a glass tank with a clear glass partition placed between them. For two days the barracuda kept banging its little fish head against that nasty wall to get to its favorite meal, the mackerel. On the third day, researchers noticed the barracuda had given up. At that point, they removed the glass partition so the barracuda had full access to its long-awaited feast.

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Change is inevitable, but not many managers handle it well. One framework that is recommended for managing change is the "Bridges Transition Model." It suggests that change and transition are two different things. Change is a situation in which something transforms. Transition, in contrast, is the inner process that people experience as they come to terms with a change. The Bridges Transition Model breaks transitions down into three phases: an ending, a neutral zone, and a new beginning. These phases have the following characteristics:

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To have a quality staff that respects themselves, their management and their customers, it is imperative to have a good internal customer service program in place. Remember: The attitude of your heart as a listener is always more important and more obvious than anything that you say in response to someone. Attitude checks are crucial to the continued success of any business!

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Are there actually more people in the world who are afraid of speaking in front of others than in dying? Yes, 54% of adults are more afraid of public speaking than death! What are we afraid of? Messing up? Being rejected? Feeling foolish? Unsure if our audience will think we don’t know what we are talking about? Have your normally dry palms become so sweaty you couldn’t even hold onto a football? When you speak, does that upper lip suddenly get stuck to your front teeth? Do you feel like you just swallowed a large walnut?

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People often make the mistake of giving their 30-second commercial immediately upon meeting someone new. I might add: “whether they want to hear it or not!” A professional portfolio is particularly valuable if you are seeking a new career opportunity. First meetings at business or social functions are to build rapport, gain trust and establish credibility. Ask your new acquaintance questions about “them.” How did they get into their business? What are current trends or issues they are experiencing?

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What the happiness is and what is not, you know that very well. Just recall this unbelievable moment of joy, the feeling that life is at its best, the moment you want to hold forever. Do you want to hold this feeling for longer? Ben Sweetland once said “Success is a journey not destination” I don’t know you are agree but at this point I would propose a little modification: “Make happiness your journey not your memory”.

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Following is my Clear Channel Radio interview discussing powerful steps to greater career success:

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Two Steps To Focus Your Mind Before You Step Into The Spotlight "Make it matter.” What do I mean by that? First… Think of your big picture. Even if, at this moment you don’t know the “how,” go ahead and picture the impact that you would like to make in the world . Consider too, that if your company is fueling a charitable cause and that’s what you are passionate about… that is your big picture. Your business success is directly related to that positive outcome. So, even if you sell magic markers, I know you have a big picture!

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Successful organizations create projects that produce desired results in established time frames with assigned resources. As a result, businesses are increasingly driven to find individuals who can excel in a project-oriented environment. A project is a temporary undertaking performed to produce a unique product, service, or result. Large or small, a project always has the following three components: Specific scope. Schedule. Required resources.

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The job market is tough and if you’ve been unemployed for a while or looking to get into a whole new career area, it may be necessary to trade in the chronological resume for one that focuses on all of your awesome skills and experiences rather than previous job titles. A good example: when I worked in staffing, a farmer who was in his mid-40’s (I’m guessing) came in asking me if there was any hope for him getting into the business world after a life of farming.

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Leaders have accepted an inconvenient truth: business as usual is dead. They have expanded their thinking to address global challenges. They have set incentives that allow sustainability to drive innovation. They have rejected secrecy and embraced transparency, and entered into partnership with consumers to shape the future. To begin, a sustainable business: * Delivers value for investors, customers, and employees. * Raises the standard of living of the community in which it operates. * Uses resources wisely. * Treats its employees fairly.

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No matter what you do, trust is the most important asset that you can have. It's crucial for business. It's required for relationships. It's the foundation for self-confidence. We all know in some way or form how to build trust but it is often easy to commit the following mistakes when doing so: 1. Trying Too Hard to be Perfect

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The strongest message can be diluted by an inappropriate choice of words. Your message may not be perceived as confident or business-oriented as you really are. Remember, your message is three-fold: body signals (do they match what you’re saying?), tone of voice and choice of words. Business language is different from social conversation. Avoid using “empty” modifiers such as thanking a sales representative “so very much,” or referring to a job applicant as a “lovely person.” A better choice of words would include bright, intelligent, quick wit, etc.

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Has your foot been on the brake? If so, it's time to take your foot off the brake and get back behind the wheel of your life. Proclaim, “I will not stop my journey too soon. It’s time to get out and overcome every obstacle in my way!” Here are eight steps that you can take:

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As my chapter in Total Leadership for Men and Women says, “We are the architects of our own lives. What are we building? How high do we want to go?” What are we creating on a daily basis?

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Many important business deals are conducted during functions outside of the 8-5 world. Doing business within a global economy requires that we pay attention to other customs and protocol, including our professional calling cards. Particularly in international circles, business cards explain our place in the corporate hierarchy, so our title should be clearly stated. Have plenty of cards but be choosy about giving them out to everyone in the room as unsolicited cards will usually go into the “circular file” in short order. Always offer your card facing them, so they can immediately read it.r

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Sometimes a theme will just show up organically, and since last week I was talking about the fabulous power of a good testimonial I thought, why not continue the theme of free (or nearly free) video marketing ideas for your business that you can do right now? Today I want you to share the information that you know like the back of your hand. Pretty easy, huh? I would venture to guess that no matter what your field of expertise, you have the same questions asked of you over and over. Yep, I am referring to the "frequently asked questions."

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Ever heard a cranky, indiferent voice on the other end of the line? Whoa! “Excuse me for calling! I was seeking a new service provider but it looks like you are not it!” How many times does that happen? Relationships and business are lost every day due to poor phone manners, because the receiver of the call may be tired, frustrated, too busy, or just plain doesn’t care at the moment. There is power in the phone! Lots of it! We will be exploring telephone skills in the new few posts.

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In a perfect world, success would have nothing to do with image. We all would be judged and promoted solely on the basis of performance, skills, talent, experience, creativity and willingness to work hard. There would be a tooth fairy too. Like it or not, the image we present greatly influences our chances for success in the workplace. If we look and act like someone who belongs on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder, that’s just where we’re likely to stay.

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There is no doubt about it! How you see yourself and believe others see you determines how successful you will become. Sit back and relax, grab some coffee, and answer the following questions: • What messages do you give to your peers, superiors, friends and family? Are you projecting assertiveness or confusion? Excitement or indifference? • Do your body signals say you are ineffective or authoritative? • Are you confident in your social graces and in your personal and professional life? In male/female relationships? In your communication skills?

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The Gift of Stressr Norma T. Hollis Have you ever considered that the stress you may be feeling is actually a gift that is priceless? When I speak to people about stress as a gift I receive the strangest looks. Most people seem to see stress as problem on top of problem. What I have found is that many things that we call stressful can be viewed as a gift with just a slight change in perspective.

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Embracing the Presentr When everything is flowing according to our idea of how things should be, it’s easy to feel in harmony with the rhythms of the universe. When there is a lack of alignment between what we want and how our life is unfolding, we’re more likely to feel disharmony, stress, or frustration. Yet it is our resistance to what is happening in the present moment that intensifies our distress. Whether we’re getting a root canal or finding out that we’ve lost our job, our fear and the frightening stories we tell ourselves about our situation magnify our pain.r

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Let’s face it there is good advertising and there is (extremely) bad advertising. Apparently, positive attitudes towards advertising reached their peak during the mid-1950s, when ‘pro’ attitudes reached eight on a nine point scale. However, ratings fell to three by the 1970s and have bobbed around that score ever since.r

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My husband has a little plaque in his office, a gift from his father, with the words, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win!” We have all heard it. In fact, years ago that saying was uncontested, considered true as the gospel. Well, times change, and our understanding of how we can best succeed evolves constantly. Currently, one of the most important shifts is a newfound understanding and appreciation of the word “quit”.

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Analyzing each training objective individually allows instructional designers to explore blended solutions and find the best possible training approach. A workbook that links all the elements is essential. This workbook should contain technical and activity instructions, logistics, contact information, and sales training content. A blended approach to the ABC new hire sales training would include the following elements. Objective 1: Represent the organization in a professional manner.

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The questio I am asked most often has to do with fear management; What do I suggest for “stage fright.” Whether you are speaking to a live audience or into a camera, the same trepidation may surface. For each person, the source may be different, so a blanket answer is not a guaranteed benefit to anyone. There are a few ideas, though, that I have discovered can help to ease anxiety in most people.

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The problem most companies have with their competition is their attitude. By viewing themselves as victims, companies justify many of their destructive behaviors, such as rampant discounting. Companies are urged to change their attitude of powerlessness and replace it with one of confidence. Additionally, they urge companies to acquire a better understanding of their competition so they can make better decisions based on how the competition will most likely react.

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Holiday Business Social Events - Do It With Pizzazz! How you speak, look and act at social events can have consequences on your career. Holiday parties are one of the most important places where executives and managers are rubbing elbows and where you may be seen by individuals that you may not usually run into. Here are quick tips to keep you confident and making a positive impression: Your voice reveals education, background, self-confidence, trustworthiness and credibility, all of which can impact your future success. Speak in a focused, motivated and confident manner.r

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One of the secrets to creating memorable events is to create a training plan in advance of the session. When developing this type of plan, instructors can consider nine techniques: Eliciting input about what learners hope will be covered and excluded. Establishing training goals at the beginning of the session. Using a building block approach to content, moving from basic concepts to more advanced ones. Building in time for learners to process what they have learned. Selecting three to five key concepts to focus on.

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If managers are serious about their organizations' survival, then they must build and cultivate a staff of invested and knowledgeable Millennials. The underlying problem is that most managers do not understand how to engage their Millennial employees effectively. Millennials work, think, and behave in ways that leave non-Millennial managers often confounded or frustrated. This dilemma has led to unprecedented tension in the workplace.

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Consumers see advertising and marketing as unbelievable and certainly undignified. Having worked around the world over many years you cannot help wondering if society is changing in ways that are more than economic. It would appear that advertising and marketing is losing its legitimacy . The myopic search for profit and short term advantages has created a corporate oligarchy whose interests are largely inimical to the average consumer. Smoke and mirrors have, for too long, been a substitute for good old fashioned marketing.r

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To film or not to film? Creation of your visual brand is a powerful marketing step. That’s a given. But what if you are trying to reach executives? Don’t they prefer charts, figures, whitepaper and written statistics to video? Truth is, executives are just like the rest of us. A recent study by Forbes (Forbes Insights) shows that while it is true that younger execs have a higher preference for video, even their senior counterparts are turning to visual medium more often.

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There are those extraordinary, memorable speakers that command the highest respect and have created multi million dollar businesses. You see them just once, become an immediate fan and recommend them to everyone you know because of your great experience. And then there are all the others. The memorable speakers share a common denominator and although they may be savvy business developers, the common thread is more creative than logistical.

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The critical measure of success in any business is the ability to get results, and therefore great employees are those who get the job done quickly and well, consistently and at high levels of quality. Great employees are defined by five key success factors: Great people are good team players. Great people are conce ed with what is right rather than who is right. Great people are intensely results oriented. Great people accept high levels of responsibility for the outcomes required of them. Great people consider the company a great place to work.

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An Army of Entrepreneurs (AOE), in essence, is an internal force of loyal and committed employees. It is also a structure and a mindset that will help a business grow well beyond its founder or CEO. Well-know management expert Jennifer Prosek first implemented an AOE at her communications firm. She had hoped to empower every member of the company to use their own resources in order to help the business succeed.

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One significant problem with the inner elephant is that it hinders people's ability to see reality. Most individuals perceive the world based on their needs and biases, rather than on exte al events. The inner executive must deal with the inner elephant's tendency to judge others and the self, to create illusions, and to defend the self. Daft calls these tendencies the "internal judge," the "internal magician," and the "internal atto ey."

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If a company does not fully understand the cost of its human capital, it leaves a large amount of expenses unmanaged. In order to fully understand the cost of human capital, direct and indirect labor costs need to be integrated. Integrating direct and indirect labor costs creates a more complete idea of human capital expenses. A human capital supply chain (HCSC) management program requires technology across "organizations, business units, and suppliers" to work together.

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Connecting with Your Inner Voicer Norma T. Hollis Do you listen to your inner voice? This is the voice that speaks within you that no one hears except you. Each person has one. Some recognize it and some don’t. Some are even frightened of the voice. But it’s a voice that is your friend and exists to assist you to claim your higher good. Are you using it?

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Republican politicia Newt Gingrich is known to tell a story about a lion and a field mouse; a lion can use his hunting skills to easily capture a field mouse with ease any time he desires, but at the end of the day, no matter how many mice he’s gotten, he will still be starving. What Newt’s story means: sometimes despite the risk and the work needed, it’s worth our time to go for the antelope. Are you still chasing your mice, playing it safe and finding convenient reasons to wait to chase your antelope? Are you starving to make the impact you are born to make?

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Intellectual property is the sum of the distinct components that make up a brand and the brand's campaign. These components include the service or product's name, logo, slogan, script of the commercial, music that accompanies the commercial, design of the product, design of the product's packaging, distinctive colors of the product or its packaging, paper ad copy, appearance of the retail location, unique sounds and smells that are associated with the product or brand campaign, and the website's content.

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Feel like you’re never going to stop those shaky knees and pre-performance nerves? Here are a few ideas to help you get past the debilitating effects of the jitters:

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Believe it or not, the prescription for maintaining balance for the vast majority of women is this: Learn how to take care of yourself instead of taking care of everyone else excepts yourself. This doesn’t mean being selfish or self-centered. Far from it. But how can you take care of your loved ones if you’re sick? How can you help others have a high quality of life if your own quality of life is low?

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Believe it or not, the prescription for maintaining balance for the vast majority of women is this: Learn how to take care of yourself instead of taking care of everyone else excepts yourself. This doesn’t mean being selfish or self-centered. Far from it. But how can you take care of your loved ones if you’re sick? How can you help others have a high quality of life if your own quality of life is low?

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One of the important ways in which successful people differ from unsuccessful people is that successful people tend to know who they are and what they believe in. Their clarity with regard to their goals, values, and ideals allows them to achieve success where others—including other people endowed with no greater assets or opportunities—fail. Author Brian Tracy describes a person’s personality as being constructed of five concentric rings. Each ring is associated with an attribute that leads to the next. Values constitute the first ring.

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Great conversations are built on a foundation of awareness, which includes: Emotional intelligence: an awareness of emotions in oneself and others that helps people navigate situations. Motivators: values, which inform what people want to talk about. Style: how people approach communication. Perhaps on the surface, emotion has no place in business, but that is unrealistic. People are influenced by emotions, but star performers and great communicators have some mastery of those emotions.

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Knowledge management (KM) is about recognizing useful information that exists within a company and making it accessible to others so they can either use the existing information or add information of their own. Every organization creates and uses information that is specific to their own area of business, and creating a system that allows employees from all aspects of the organization to access that information can be incredibly beneficial.

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There’s a lot more to buying a home than just picking one out and moving in. If you don’t have a wad of cash in your sofa cushions, chances are you’ll need a mortgage. Mortgage lending has been around for a long, long time, and some things haven’t changed while other parts of the mortgage process are brand new. Knowing what you’re getting into can help you make the right decisions. WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUYING AND RENTING?r

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Health care organizations are very conce ed about the patient satisfaction improvement. Some nurses like it while some others not really, but you have to face the fact that nobody is going to change it. You have to follow new trend and new rules.r

Published · 1,371 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Have you pictured yourself a go-to guest expert on TV or sharing your expertise to live audiences? Do you watch news segments with interviews on current topics and say, “Heck, I can do that!” Ever sit in an audience at an event and wish you could grab that microphone next? Guest appearances and stage presentations are to excellent ways to elevate your brand, increasing recognition and trust thus creating the possibilities for increased revenue for your business!

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For our ancestors, split-second decisions made on the basis of subtle visual clues could be a matter of life or death. Today, first impressions still evoke automatic responses, which may or may not be accurate. Those automatic responses must be analyzed and filtered to ensure survival in a world where societal restrictions and nuances have added many layers to personal interactions. Goman proposes five filters through which to sift first impressions:

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Do you have a dream? Everybody does; I have been dreaming to become a nurse. Today I can say: I did it; if I did it, if I reached my goal, you can do it too. Let this article encourage you to change and positively influence your life. You can become a person you want to be and you can achieve your goals. How? It is not easy, but is not hard either. Before we move forward I would recommend you to take a look at your attitude and your perception of the success. Every building needs strong foundation, right?r

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While Valentine’s Day focuses primarily on romantic love, I would like to invite you to escape the frenzy of your local greeting card store, which at this time is probably looking as chaotic as the once-yearly shoe sale at Barneys, and widen the lens through which we see “love” this month. After all, if you are reading this, you are most likely in “work” mode, and business is on your mind so what can this drippy topic do for your bottom line?

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As you are seeking God to prepare you for your mate, this inner work may reveal things in you that are not pleasing to God and that also keep men away. Taking an inventory is personal – between you and God. You look up to God, by first looking inside yourself, then turning to God and saying, ‘I need your strength’.

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As I sip my morning coffee and view last night’s election results, I’m evaluating the power of the media once again; I’m contemplating if a small tweak here and there in the candidates’ media presence could have changed the outcome. I find myself reflecting to a conversation just a few days ago with a former White House speechwriter:

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How to Keep Answers Short and Effective Did you know that not only can long-winded answers be hard for the audience to follow, but they can actually cause your interview to go off track? Concise answers can keep you in control, and THAT’S where you want to be! Brevity is the key word here. Think of the quotes and sound bites you would like to have associated with your image and try to incorporate them as your answers when appropriate.

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Inspiration from the Golden Globes Hollywood’s A-listers are lucky to have designers that cut specifically for them. Did you see Claire Daines at the Golden Globes in her gorgeous hot pink dress sewn with perfection for her by Calvin Klein? Unfortunately, most of us do not fall into the category of red carpet goddess (THIS week!), but with a little help from some designer experts, it is possible to apply some savvy Hollywood style tips to a wardrobe-retrofit, so that you have a closet that is ready to showcase you at any time!

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There’s a lot more to buying a home than just picking one out and moving in. If you don’t have a wad of cash in your sofa cushions, chances are you’ll need a mortgage. Mortgage lending has been around for a long, long time, and some things haven’t changed while other parts of the mortgage process are brand new. Knowing what you’re getting into can help you make the right decisions. WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUYING AND RENTING?r

Published · 1,186 views

Why your words may be working against you in your video script One of the main causes of discomfort for many entrepreneurs when they attempt a promotional video is the words they are trying to say. Most often entrepreneurs and experts will come to their video shoot with a script derived from copy on their website. I totally get it; working so hard to get that copy right it has to be just what you need to say, so why not just cut and paste it for a video script, right? WRONG!

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Five Foods to avoid now and any time you need to be “on”! There is a lot of focus on food and drink during this season… we are shown how to make it, how to serve it and how to make “healthy” versions of our favorites. Holiday foods are traditional, comforting and all-out yummy. They are hard to resist, but if you are presenting or speaking on camera, the holiday foods could sabotage your performance! Even if they are the “healthy” version.

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Adolescence marks the pathway between childhood and young adulthood. Our world has changed so much since you, who are now parents, grew up. What you may think of as the typical behavior of your own junior and senior high school years now frequently takes place in middle school.

Published · 1,254 views · Rated 1.6/5 from 5 votes

So what happens when we need a new start? How do we actually get through the amazing transformation our Creator has for us, going from that caterpillar to becoming the soaring, beautiful butterfly? You are definitely not alone in the unpleasant struggle. A metamorphosis is defined here in a couple of valid ways: 1) A striking change in appearance, character or circumstances…usually by supe atural means. 2) a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one.” Wow!

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A Story of Hope and Optimism: What It Means for You Article by: Rosa Chillis, MAEd., CCC “A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirit and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same—a personal rainbow of the mind.”—Charles Richard Snyder What Is Hope? Hope is not merely an emotion. Hope does not mean having a pollyannish approach to situations in life. Oxford English Dictionary defines hope: “a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen.”

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Article by: Rosa Chillis, MAEd., CCC “I have so much to do that I will spend the first three hours in prayer.”—Martin Luther As I write this article, the global COVID-19 Pandemic is raging. And it would be of no use to quote the number of infections and deaths because the numbers multiply each day worldwide. The COVID-19 Pandemic has increased stress levels for many of us. We face new challenges about our home and family lives, social distancing, employment, and for some, isolation and quarantine.

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When people are internally closed, they fear feedback, but when people are exte ally open, they welcome feedback about their words and actions. This feedback then helps them to learn and grow.

Published · 3,574 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Improve the Quality of Your Life: Sleep Article by: Rosa Chillis, MAEd., CCC “Happiness consists of getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more.” — Robert A. Heinlein According to the 2020 U.S. census data, the oldest of the estimated 73 millio Baby Boomers will hit 74 years old by the end of the year, the youngest 56. By the year 2030, all Boomers will be age 65 or older. With time steamrolling ahead, what is one of the most significant quests for midlife adults today? Better health. This article will focus on one area of health: sleep. Why Sleep?

Published · 840 views

Sometimes, the life of a “mature” person must be completely shaken, shifted and reshuffled to bring them to where they were meant to be in the first place! Some events are beyond our control that make those transforming shifts necessary: losing a job, children moving back home, a health crisis or death of a loved one. Other events open up the time and opportunities to explore new adventures. Even if you are experiencing issues that have hindered your ability to do what you love, think about how you can incorporate your desires into your newly developing everyday life.

Published · 1,429 views

Sometimes, the life of a “mature” person must be completely shaken, shifted and reshuffled to bring them to where they were meant to be in the first place! Some events are beyond our control that make those transforming shifts necessary: losing a job, children moving back home, a health crisis or death of a loved one. Other events open up the time and opportunities to explore new adventures. Even if you are experiencing issues that have hindered your ability to do what you love, think about how you can incorporate your desires into your newly developing everyday life.

Published · 1,543 views

Wellness: The Secret to Holistic Growth and Prosperity Article by: Rosa Chillis, MAEd., CCC “Wellness encompasses a healthy body, a sound mind, and a tranquil spirit. Enjoy the journey as you strive for Wellness.”—Laurette Gagnon Beaulieu What is Wellness? People often think Wellness means physical health, such as nutrition, exercise, weight control, etc. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) defines Wellness as: “Being in a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

Published · 1,056 views

What You Can Do About Loneliness Article by: Rosa Chillis, MAEd., CCC “Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude is a solitary boat floating in a sea of possible companions.”—Robert Fulghum Carrie, a full-time caregiver to her ailing 70-year-old husband, felt lonely. She said: “I’ve been in a dark hole for quite a while. Sometimes, I believe everyone around me would be better off if I were dead. My friends can no longer visit; my few remaining relatives don’t seem to care. I often feel dead inside.r

Published · 962 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

If you don’t like the hand you have been dealt in the game of life, create a new game!!! Sometimes, life’s changes and challenges can but tough, disappointing and confusing. They may come on so quickly we wonder “what happened” and “how will I ever manage beyond this?” They can also open the door to so many new and wonderful possibilities. Realize, rebuild and raise up your inner strength and create a beautiful new picture out of the puzzle pieces of life. Explore ways to thrive and excel.

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Not all respected and admirable leaders are in actual designated “leadership positions.” We all have the opportunity to be a high quality leader every day, in whatever capacity the day calls for, whether it is with those in our same household or when conducting business worldwide.

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Oh yes, there are actually more people in the world who are afraid of speaking in front of others than in dying. Wow! Surveys show 54% of adults are in this category. What are we afraid of? Messing up? Being rejected? Feeling foolish? Unsure if our audience will think we don’t know what we are talking about? Have your normally dry palms become so sweaty you couldn’t even hold onto a football? When you speak, does that upper lip suddenly get stuck to your front teeth? Do you feel like you just swallowed a large walnut?

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Sometimes, the life of a "mature person" must be completely shaken, shifted and reshuffled to bring them to where they were meant to be in the first place! Some events are beyond our control that make those shifts necessary: losing a job, children moving back home, a health crisis or death of a loved one. Others open up the time and opportunities to explore new adventures. Even if you are experiencing issues that have hindered your ability to do what you love, read on and think about how you can incorporate your desires into your everyday life.

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Moving Sale! Oh the freedom when you leave Yes-butville for Can-Do City!

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Whatever is happening in your life right now, it is time to dust off those dreams and work towards fulfilling your destiny, the one created just for you. The one that has filled your heart and mind with a passion that you have never been able to fully let go of because...it's who you are meant to be! You can’t move forward while looking the rearview mirror! Add new roads (steps) to your life map and start your ride. First Step, a Self-Image Checkupr

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Career advice-- by Rosa Chillis on March 21, 2014 Republished on January 19, 2017 5 Things You Can Learn About Nonverbal Communication from Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes was the fictional detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), Scottish physician and writer. In all of his adventures Holmes was brilliant and had extraordinary powers of deduction. He said the way to understand people is to watch them—not only to see, but also to observe.

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Career Advice-- by Rosa Chillisr July 26, 2016 The Benefits of Hope and Optimism “Hope is being able to see that there is more light despite all of the darkness.”—Desmond Tutu Hope is more than mere desire and better than mere expectation. Hope is indispensable if you want to endure a difficult situation without giving up or sinking into deep depression. Hope is strengthening in that despite difficult circumstances you wait patiently the hoped for thing.

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Career Advice— Time – Are You Its Master or Its Slave? 9 Ways to Manage Your Time by Rosa Chillis on October 07, 2013 Republished on January 01, 2017 “WHY are you so late?” asked the teacher as Joseph rushed into the classroom. “Because I ran alongside the bicycle all the way to school,” Joseph replied almost out of breath. Why didn’t you ride your bike?” asked the teacher curiously. “Because,” explained Joseph, “I was so late I didn’t have time to stop and get on the bike.”

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Nonverbal cues can often tell you more about a person than what that person spells out in an e-mail or conversation. One area where this comes up for many entrepreneurs is in hiring. When you ask most CEOs or business owners what keeps them up at night, it's either that they don't have enough good employees to grow or the ones they have are driving them crazy.

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The South has a lot to say about doing business the right way. Just what do I base my assertion on? Having spent my first 17 years living below the Mason-Dixon Line--my grandparents are all Southerners--and having lived a year in Atlanta as a professional, I come by this business advice quite honestly. For those of you from other parts of the country, let me share some phrases that have served me well throughout my career, especially during the three years since I started my company. I'll start with my all-time favorite:

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Change is in the air. I see it everywhere and in every person I seem to be bumping into or meeting with these days. New school year, new chapter, new beginnings, perhaps. Or maybe we're turning into a culture of innovation and reinvention by design or necessity. As Charles Darwin said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

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Maybe it's because a good college friend died recently in a tragic accident. Perhaps it's because the year is winding down and we're all naturally focusing on closing one chapter and starting another. But I thought it was interesting that the topic of legacies came up in a handful conversations and meetings I had last week.

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Pack up those limiting beliefs and move into your comfort zone What a great feeling it is to toss that last moving box into the driveway, walk back into your new place, and realize that you have created “Home.” This is where you come after a long day, where your routines are established, where your kids frolic and where your dogs sleep curled up under your feet. After a long business trip, this is the place that you can re-establish your Zen, your sense of self.

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Cover the Clock Most people, more often than we care to admit, don’t need to wear a watch. There are all manner of clocks and timepieces surrounding us. If you’ve got an appointment or if it’s important for you to be someplace in a particular time, sure, wear a watch if it’s convenient. To stay focused on a project, however, it may be prudent to take off your watch and hide the clock. Don’t worry, time will still be there when you put the watch back on. Assess The Effects on Others

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Four mistakes you should be sure to avoid “We will never have him back again! I’m exhausted!” These are words you never want to have said about you after a radio or TV interview. I am the one who said them.

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Believe it or not, minding your ps and qs really does make a difference in business these days. To illustrate: A client who recently hired us told me that he had spoken with a number of potential firms and that while every one of them could do the job, in the end, they picked us because our team had the best manners by far. He added, and I quote, "We always hire for manners because everything else can be learned on the job."

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Have you ever attended a meeting, conference or networking event and felt as if people were unfriendly or snobbish and hard to engage in conversation? Are you aware you might be sending the same message when you are talking with another person … simply through your stance? By the way you stand, you either exclude or include others.

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Improve your Conversation by avoiding these traps. And as suddenly as it began, it’s over. There you were, in the middle of a great conversation when suddenly the wind died in your sails, leaving stranded out in a large, unwelcoming and unforgiving ocean. What happened?

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Forty Conversation Starters Let’s face it, no matter how good a conversation is going, sometimes you’ll get stuck and run out of things to say. This can be especially hard if the person you’re speaking with isn’t keeping up their end of the conversation. Sometimes is seems you have little in common, no shared interests, and no reason to continue speaking with each other. This is usually not the case; some people just need a little kick-start to keep the ball rolling.

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In addition to the professional phone image I discussed in Part I, it is also vital to be able to read people over the phone to increase your chances for personal and business success. Using the leading-edge DISC (Dominant, Influencing, Steady and Conscientious) communication styles, I’ll help you recognize the other person’s natural communication style so you know how to respond. It works even better when both of you are cognizant of each other’s style. June, which is national Effective Communication month, is a great time to examine why this is so.r

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Why are we so resistant to change? As I loaded up my dogs this morning to take them to the vet for their annual physicals, I wondered why they were panting their heads off and their bodies were shaking from head to foot. Dogs, like people, are accustomed to routine. When I loaded them in the car, that was contrary to their daily routine. I had moved them out of their comfort zones. We, too, get nervous when we are faced with change. Many of us choose to stay in bad marriages or in horrible jobs rather than choose a new course. Yet, it’s change that keeps us alive and vital.

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How can you use the social media and still maintain your privacy? This is a question we hear over and over from our clients. They tell us they do not want others to know what they like to do in their off time. They do not want others to know about their personal lives. At the same time, they’d like to explore using the social media. We’d like to make one thing very clear. The social media is innately social.

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Don’t you wish you could do your job and not have to travel all over the country or world? Don’t you wish you could let people know about your products and services without going to endless networking meetings? Believe it or not with the right use of the social media you can do just that. Notice we said with the “right use” of the social media. Even though your purpose is to sell your goods or services, you must be careful not to abuse the new technology. Unfortunately many people have not gotten that point. What we want to do is actually increase our sales, not turn people off.

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One of the most common complaints we hear from our clients about the social media is that it eats up time. They fear that once their employees get on the sites, they will no longer have time to do their jobs. I remember hearing this same complaint about allowing employee access to the internet. There’s no question that internet access and email correspondence eat up much of our day. Does it waste time? There’s also no question that access to the social media will eat up your day. Will it waste time? Today no business can function without the internet.

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You are correct if you say we communicate using words- partially though! We also employ voice tone, gestures and body language, emotional state, clothing, the physical location (aka time/place setting) we occupy, and more; this is, in addition to the words we use. Even the lack of communicating is a form of communication. In short, we are always transmitting messages. We just cannot– not – communicate!

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It’s easy to tell confident business people when you meet them: Good posture, firm handshakes, direct eye contact and a powerful aura. While confidence is just as important to portray over the phone for business success, it’s done differently and can be more difficult to attain for many people.

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Ethan Hunt’s mission (Tom Cruise- Mission Impossible 4), that he’s already accepted, is to pacify a diabolical master-mind bent on starting World War III is. To do this, Ethan needs access to the highly-secured server room nestled within the world’s tallest building, the Burj Kahlifa All “safe” options to enter this room are useless. The last available course of action is a ‘take or leave it option’ – entering from the outside… And off he goes, in Ethan Hunt fashion, scaling the building, unaided by a harness – but by futuristic suction-gloves.

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How many times have we seen this scenario in films: A character gathers his/her resources and single-mindedly chases a goal, claims it...only to discover the goal wasn't worth it, or it wasn't what they hoped it would be, etc. This is after they've spent extra-ordinary amounts of time, energy and resources striving for it. Sounds backwards, right? Well, movies aren't life; but they can imitate aspects of it, even teach us something about ourselves and nature.

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What is our universal language? By universal I mean, the language we all understand. By we, I mean not just the human species but also the animal species. Let's imagine for a moment what goes through our dog's head when we speak in a commanding voice. The command in our voice communicates a message to the dog. He learns to stop and pay attention to what we are saying. Often he understands what to do. Let's imagine for a moment when we communicate sadness to someone who does not speak our language.

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How do you express your anger? I once had a woman in one of my workshops who said, “I never get angry.” Can you imagine that? How can we go through life and never feel anger. Anger is a part of the passion of living. There is nothing wrong with anger. What is wrong is when we pass our anger on to someone else. What is wrong is when we blame our angry feelings on ourselves or others. What is wrong is when we channel our anger in the wrong place. So, what can we do when we feel that nasty heat rise inside us?

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Almost two decades had passed since I last saw Leroy. So when we finally met to catch up no topic was off limits. We spoke about all kinds of things. Our conversation eventually steered itself towards the subject of perception and how it informs our beliefs and actions. I told Leroy about an experience a mutual friend of ours, Norman, had.

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Think of a problem. Those four words are used repeatedly throughout NLP trainings because most of the time NLP techniques are used in a prescriptive manner. That means that, after the fact, we can examine a problem, make new choices and mentally rehearse a more ideal performance in the future. But what about those events that we didn't prepare for? Is it possible to shift from negative feelings to more resourceful feelings in the moment, without prior planning or an exte al trigger? Shift Happensr

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Did you know there are Six Messages in any conversation? • What you Mean to say • What you Actually say • What the other person Hears • What the other person Thinks he/she hears • What the other person Says • What you Think the other person says No wonder we have communication problems. To make matters even worse, did you know that our mind thinks four times faster than the average person can speak?

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Like it or not humans are always learning. And we learn quickly. It’s not just our minds that learn, but our bodies as well. Sometimes a single experience is all it takes. Rapid learning can occur when an experience is unique, novel and accompanied by a heightened emotion. What’s interesting is that the more this learning event occurs, the more it becomes a stronger aspect of our being, hard-wired, so to speak, thus leading us to create “conclusions,” “rules” “a point of view” “beliefs,” etc. about this unique event.

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Last week I taught a class on Business Etiquette. My class consisted of people ranging in ages from the mid 20’s to the early 50’s. I noticed a definite gap in how people identified “correct” behavior. The younger people seemed more relaxed with the rules. Webster’s defines etiquette as “behaviors required by good breeding or prescribed by authority.” When I showed that definition to the class, they burst out laughing. What is good breeding? Did our parents prepare us for today’s workplace?

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How many of us have walked into a room full of people and wanted to turn around and leave? When I think about networking events, my heart freezes. Didn’t our mothers teach us not to speak to strangers? Yet, in this article we're going to examine how to talk to strangers. First thing you need to know is we all hate going to networking events. Why? It’s hard to thrust yourself on someone else, no matter how “outgoing” you may be. Knowing that we are all miserable makes these things a tiny bit easier. Second, your job at a networking event is to meet people.

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How are we supposed to behave during an interview? Most of us know not to eat with food in our mouths or to give an interviewer a résumé with typos.

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What is the value of LinkedIn over Facebook in business? Is there a difference? When do you use one or the other or both? In writing our book, The New Handshake: Sales Meets Social Media, Barb Giamanco and I discovered that some businesses prefer LinkedIn; some prefer Facebook and some use neither. We decided to take a look at the two platforms to help you distinguish which is best for you. As we’ve stated many times in the book, the ultimate decision about which social network to use lies with your company culture, goals and customer.

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What is the value of Facebook over Twitter? Is there a difference? When do you use one or the other or both? In writing our book, The New Handshake: Sales Meets Social Media, Barb Giamanco and I discovered that some businesses prefer Facebook; some prefer Twitter and some use neither. We decided to take a look at the two platforms to help you distinguish which is best for you. As we’ve stated many times in the book, the ultimate decision about which social network to use lies with your company culture, goals and customer.

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Want to make the most effective use of your networking time and dollars? Then hone your people-reading skills so you can network in the other person’s comfort zone. Each of you is as unique as a snowflake, yet you also share similarities - enough so that behavioral characteristics can be grouped into four major categories. You might be thinking, “Oh, I took that DISC tool at work to help me communicate, manage or sell better. What’s the importance in networking?” Glad you asked!

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Let’s face it… regardless of the type of business; we’ve all sat through some pretty bad presentations. When delivering your presentation, you have to establish the audience’s attention and buy-in within the first 30 seconds. If you don’t have their attention from the beginning AND be able to maintain interest throughout the presentation, your message is lost. To make sure you have the audience in the palm of your hand at the start of the presentation, you have to deliver an “opening hook”. What is a “hook” you ask?

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Whenever we face a communication dilemma, whether we must tell our aging parents that they can no longer live independently or tell our best friend that her clothes do not suit her, we agonize over what to do. How do we tell people things they do not wish to hear? These kind of communication dilemmas slip up on us all the time. We go our merry way, and as if they were waiting in the bushes to ambush us, there they are. We are caught off guard.

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Most of us lead a multitude of lives in today’s world. Adding to this, we perform a wide array of activities throughout the course of a single day… and then multiply that by seven. The result? Little to no time is left for us to appreciate the finer things in life. It’s no secret that we live in a world of consequences, so over-stressing ourselves, suppressing opportunities for personal rejuvenation will have a negative impact on our mind and body. “To every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction” is a fundamental law of physics.

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Over the next few days I want to share with you the importance of improving our communication. It all starts with learning more about ourselves rather than anything else, and I want to look at that in more detail with you so you can get a better idea of the steps it takes to be a stellar communicator.r

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For years I’ve studied management and leadership theories. Everyone says basically the same thing. Managers manage and leaders lead. Everyone wants to do the same thing— lead and not manage. In thinking about this conundrum while talking with an executive client, it occurred to me that good leaders are also good managers. In other words, it’s not a question of either managing or leading; it’s a question of doing both and doing them at the right time.

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Bullies drain you with threats, and unrealistic or unreasonable demands and makes you feel sick and afraid all the time. Unless you do something productive, drain your life force as we imagine a vampire might. Living or working with a bully vampire is a problem that’s bigger than you are, so be kind to yourself but start planning a new life. Here are some suggestions: • Move on. Save your life, your health, and your self-esteem.

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I love publicity and promotion. I must have been born with a gleam in my eye instead of a loud cry! I know I “conned” a teacher or two along the way. I continue to think “PR” everyday in my own speaking, training and coaching business. I learned well from peers in my non-profit and corporate public relations positions, including 11 years at AT&T. In meetings when people share their Verbal Business Card, elevator pitch or recent successes, my mind hears promotional possibilities.

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If you spend any time on the road, you know we’re living in a stress-out, over-worked and insecure world. Road rage is up – yelling, screaming, slamming doors, flipping off, and threats are up and so is workplace bullying. Workplace bullying is the road rage of the office with the plus of knowing the target and having the authority to keep ‘em scared. Since most of us are acting out our fears and anxieties (Yes you are, admit it!

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Okay, you’re struggling, contemplating things that will land you in jail, wishing you could be anywhere but around your caustic, obnoxious, and maybe bullying boss or colleague, and yet, you stay. Why do you stay? Most reasons people stay in such environments are economic but also your identity-who are you without work, convenience-family-it’s hard to imagine leaving a city where you have deep roots, and stubbornness-you plan to outlive and out-advance your hell-of-a situation. So, you stay, and stay and stay even as you pay a huge price.

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“Can you recommend some CD’s on hypnosis that I can listen to, because I want to be smarter?” Alan asked me (name changed to protect the so-called innocent). I've never been asked this before, not until now. It’s not for me to pass judgment on any inquiries. No matter how unique they may be. For we want what we want in order to satisfy values, intentions, needs, wants or desires.

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STEP #2 This is lesson #2 of a series I am sharing with you over the next few days and weeks on the key elements that are the foundation for excellent communication. I am hoping that you will be able to use the tools in some way that benefits you and makes a difference in your life.r

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STEP #3 This is lesson #3 continuing on with the series I am sharing with you over the next few days and weeks on the key elements that are the foundation for excellent communication. I am hoping that you will be able to use the tools in some way that benefits you and makes a difference in your life.

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When I am at a meeting and ask, ‘Who in the room has been bullied at work?’ 50% raise hands; adding, ‘Who know someone who has been bullied?’ it’s 100%. Bullies use threats, intimidation, and humiliation to control their targets. Targets of bullying become sick, lose confidence, and forfeit their career to escape. Bullies are rewarded with the personal satisfaction of hurting others. But sometimes there is more to bullying than hurt. Sometimes bullying has a huge reward attached to it. Sometimes bullying is about taking over someone’s career.

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According to researchers at Northweste University there may be no such things as a sensitive boss. It seems insensitivity is to power as empathy is to powerlessness. Frankly, the powerful just don’t ‘give a damn’. The powerful are busy taking risks, pushing others to excellence, and having the buck stop at their desk. These findings have serious implications for anyone trying to influence someone in power since suggestions for influencing others include gentle and sensitive negotiation, reasoning, counter suggestions, and trying to ‘massage’ the relationship.

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Are you selling yourself? Then you’re in some trouble. More and more personal services are being viewed as commodities. Our work, our intellectual property, and our gifts to the world are now widgets to be compared with other widgets and purchased at the lowest possible price. If we’re going to move ourselves from commodity back to professional, we’re going to have to learn to sell without selling; to master the art of a confident selling mindset, that is, a mindset of abundance coupled with some concrete strategies for success.

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1. Clarify definitions

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Several years ago, I was consulting an extremely bright woman who had a groundbreaking technology for which she was pursuing financing. Melissa appeared to have everything going for her; a solid education and a solid technology, which she was ready to turn into a business. Melissa had secured a group of individuals -- angels --- who were interested in funding her company.

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People are starting businesses every day. In record numbers, hundreds nay thousands, are taking the plunge. And the bad news is 8 out of 10 will FAIL within the first year. And of those who survive 80% will be out of business within 5 years. And the failures have less to do with $$ than with attitude and behavior. How can you avoid crashing your dreams of independence and financial success? There are some standard mistakes that will sink your ship and leave you to the ‘sharks’. That said, here is my list of top mistakes business builders make and ways to avoid them.

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One thing about business development I know to be true is carts and horses. Yes, that’s right carts and horses. More often I am finding new and seasoned entrepreneurs putting their carts before their horses. When we put our carts before our horses, we cannot expect to move forward. First of all the horse is very confused and second, horses are used to pulling rather than pushing. How do I see this cart/horse problem? Well, how about starting a business without having any financial management tools in place? I wonder: How can you know how your business is doing?

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I've recently taken up a new physical practice -- Bikram Yoga. I'm loving it -- the heat, the focus it takes to stay in the postures while honoring my body's limits, and the flow state I acquire and that stays with me afterwards. The heat is intense, and staying present becomes a practice in itself. As a beginner it's easy to feel inadequate, and I appreciate the dedicated instructors who help us execute the postures, each transforming the room with their ki.

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How do you motivate yourself for achievement? - Are you driven by deadlines? - How about gut-wrenching fear? - Positive reinforcement? - Team support? - Shame? Reward? Do-or Die self-confidence? Knowing what motivates you helps you to achieve your goals. That is, if you know your goals. What if you want to lose 10 pounds in 90 days because you have to go to your high school reunion? That’s a goal. But, what’s the motivation? Are you doing this so you can look great and show off in front of that boy who jilted you at the senior prom?

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If you are in the unenviable position of leading a sales team to victory, there are a few things you can do that can make all the difference for them. When working with sales managers and new businesses, I observe and evaluate before I start any training. And, what I have seen in my practice would make any good motivator cringe with fear. It is so easy to de-motivate your team and so hard to win back their trust and loyalty.

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Ever notice how much of your work involves dealing with people? Have you noticed, too, that they don’t necessarily follow the script you have written for them? And, when they don’t, it can be fun, interesting, disappointing, frustrating and even downright painful depending on the situation. Sometimes, people aren’t trying to disagree with you; they are just behaving naturally. However, their natural way of achieving the result you seek can be 180 degrees different from the way you would have approached the solution. There’s hope.

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I wasn’t always a sales trainer. Sales training is something that evolved from my work at the University of Southern Califo ia and the Califo ia Institute of Technology. I found that teaching negotiation and problem-solving skills was like teaching someone to sell themselves and their ideas. Lots like it. So, when I developed the Forum for Women Entrepreneurs chapters in Southern Califo ia back in 1998, I broadened my thinking about empowerment to sales and selling for entrepreneurs. Eventually Confidence Selling was born.

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Hello, I am Kathleen Schulweis, professional certified co-active coach and owner of http://www.confidenceconnections.com, a coaching and training organization. I am an executive coach with over 25 years of experience helping professionals achieve their personal and career goals working in such august institutions as UCLA, University of Southern Califo ia, and Califo ia Institute of Technology.

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To better understand the Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model, you must know more about the people you are “saying it” to before you apply it to sticky situations. If we faced cardboard people everyday, who always acted the same way, we could apply the SIJR Model right away. Unfortunately (some may say fortunately) people are different.

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I’m not a sexist, and I’m not a bra-bu ing feminist. I am a realist. That’s why I can say that the ole boy network still unequivocally affects relationship building in the corporate hallowed halls … not so much in the entrepreneurial ranks. Building beneficial relationships knows no gender boundaries. It is equally beneficial for men and women, and the process can be equally daunting or equally easy for members of either sex.

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Nearly 70% of executives of fortune 500 companies engage the services of an executive coach; 50% of CEO’s in the healthcare industry have professional coaches and 86% believe they should have one. Why do these leaders have executive coaching? What do they know to be true about the power of executive coaching? They know that an executive coach makes all the difference. • An executive coach provides perspective, clarity, confidentiality, and analysis . • An executive coach gives a leader the edge on management, change , and career success.

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Like it or not, meeting people face-to-face is a grand way to grow your business. Professionals net-work all the time getting to know one another and thus creating trust. I regularly receive referrals from my friends and acquaintances in all my social networks. That happens because they know what I do and they know me. And likewise, I know them and what they do so I can easily make excellent referrals. And, as a professional executive coach I have to have credible professionals in my arsenal.

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Respect is like air: if you take it away, it's all people can think about.rn~Kerry Patterson - Author, Crucial Conversations Respect is like air, I've heard it said. When it's plentiful, there's no issue. We take it as given. But when it's missing, you can't think about anything else. I was swimming at the Portsmouth Indoor Pool early one morning. My lane partner was taking up more of the lane tha I thought necessary, more than his share. I was grouchy, shrinking and trying not to be run over as he swam by in the other direction.

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When your boss asks you to do something that you feel is unethical, what do you do? If you spot two co-workers having an intimate lunch, what do you do? How do you handle telling a long-time employee that his job has been eliminated? One of the biggest headaches any manager faces is dealing with “people” problems.

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Years ago I uncovered a definition of communication that I doubt would appear in Wikipedia. I like it because of its simplicity as well as its inherent complexity. Communication is behavior that transmits meaning from one person to another person This definition tells us that we cannot communicate without behavior. We must do something to communicate. It also tells us that communication does not happen unless meaning is transmitted. Of course what I mean and what you think I mean pose two entirely different things.

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Fall is in the air and the school doors are about to open. For many this year offers some unique challenges. Many schools are facing budget cuts and some personnel cuts. These reductions place greater pressure on the people who remain. As demands increase but resources shrink, we face a world ripe for “sticky situations.” In the book, Managing Sticky Situations at Work, http://www.stickysituationsatwork.com I described a school related situation in which two teachers had trouble working together.

Published · 1,632 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

A customer breaks his word, chews out someone on your staff or keeps calling you in the middle of the night. What do you do? Do you shrug it off, remembering the customer is always right? When looking at sticky situations with clients, we sometimes decide to put our heads in the sand. Maybe those clients are a bit difficult to work with, but they bring us lots of business, right? Is the business they bring us really worth the trouble? Are valued employees deserting you while you keep that pesky client?

Published · 2,001 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

What are we afraid of? In the workshops I teach on managing sticky situations at work, people describe the troubling situations they face every day. During those sessions we share information about how to diplomatically approach each situation. Too often people let matters go too long. By the time they say anything, they say it just wrong. They are tired of dealing with the matter or they are frustrated that the person hasn't picked up on their nonverbal cues.

Published · 1,362 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Tip 1: Make sure GOALS are clear... Enrolling a student just because they want to “take classes” seems like common-sense on first glance. Yes, you can do that, and get paid. But you will never the true reason(s) why they joined. And if they enrolled into your school with pre-conceived expectations – and those expectations aren’t met – then the cost is that you’ll lose that student. Period.

Published · 2,702 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Anne Marie worked hard to finally secure her coveted, hi-profile dream job, one which had glamour, power, and prestige attached to it. The job gave Anne Marie the ability to influence the direction of politics and policies in the USA and around the world. It also kept her at the office until the wee hours of the morning - and away from home for extended periods as well. This dream job did have its perks though: Trips to exotic countries, attending exclusive engagements and ritzy events, mingling and dining with titans of industries and influential heads of state.

Published · 1,429 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Emotions can be so confusing and most people want to immediately be rid of what they are feeling. As part of the human race we experience emotions and our emotions really do serve a purpose for us. They serve a purpose in our lives, our relationships, our jobs, and our families and they even keep us safe in certain situations, so we want to be able to feel those emotions and learn from them. The challenge is to not get locked up in the emotions or be so focused on them that the emotions take over our very being.

Published · 2,693 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

At dinner with my friend Susan recently, I was struck by the simplicity of her conflict resolution strategy. A friend sought Susan's advice about how to approach her neighbor about a potential conflict. The neighbor was prickly and the friend uneasy, and she asked Susan to come along as support ...

Published · 1,220 views

They measure about 2” x 3 1/2”. They weigh less than 1/4 of an ounce. They cost about a nickel or a dime. And they pack a powerful punch! They are business cards, and they are your most effective, least expensive form of advertising. You can (and should!) carry them with you daily, ...

Published · 1,192 views

How many times do we find ourselves in awkward, uncomfortable situations? How many times have you wished you could talk your way out of those little messes or better still, disappear? Ever wonder how confident communicators do it? Want to learn ways to manage conflict and still keep your ...

Published · 1,390 views

While people may decide 10 things about you within 10 seconds of seeing you, it takes only 1-3 seconds to speak volumes through your handshake. Having a firm handshake is essential in the business world. It’s a key ingredient in creating a good first impression. President and Michelle Obama ...

Published · 3,510 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

How can we hire the best with today’s job market? We all know that unemployment is at its highest. What does that mean to the employers? When I wrote the book on Strategic Interviewing (which, by the way, you can buy for a huge bargain used right now) nine years ago, there were more people ...

Published · 1,095 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Six months ago, an out-of-town client called to ask my input. She was in a meeting with the president of an association where she is chairing the annual gala as a volunteer. Also present were several of her committee members as well as an outside consultant hired by the organization. She ...

Published · 2,848 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Hurry up and meditate, I'm thinking as I sit in half-lotus, willing myself to quiet down and connect with the source. Wow, that's really taking things to extremes. How can you meditate in a hurry? Isn't the whole point to SLOW DOWN? Quiet the rushing stream of thoughts and make the world ...

Published · 1,372 views

What is the biggest communications challenge my clients face? The simple answer is listening. My clients struggle with listening because their heads get in the way. They grapple with ways to communicate their messages and often ask me about how to go about saying what they want to say the ...

Published · 3,713 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

My message to all that will hear it, is don’t let your limitations define you… Don’t focus on what you don’t have…use what you do have.rn~Victoria Arlen An excellent student and natural athlete, Victoria dreamed of becoming an Olympic swimmer from the time she was 5 years old. She trained and swam and attained regional ranking. She was on her way.

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Larry thought he was a great listener. That morning while drinking his coffee his wife was complaining about the kids. “They never pay attention to anything I say.” She went on to list all the mundane mishaps of each child. Larry tuned her out. He heard little after the first sentence. ...

Published · 1,664 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Why Relationships Matter Whenever you read anything pertaining to the social media, you’ll read about relationships. On Facebook you can only invite your “friends.” LinkedIn will not allow you to connect with people you do not know. Twitter gives you more freedom. You can follow anyone you ...

Published · 1,170 views

I recently noted an entire book on the misuse of fillers in public speaking. Can you imagine that? Someone actually filled up 320 pages talking about um’s and ah’s and other verbal stumbles. The book title: Ums: Slips, Stumbles and Verbal Blunders and What They Mean by Michael Erard. Yes, ...

Published · 1,300 views

Whether speaking or singing, many of us want to change our voice to sound richer, sweeter, more authoritative or more sensual. However, practices intended to alter vocal qualities from an exte al desire rather than from an internal transition are limited in their impact and sustainability. It would be like wearing cosmetics and expecting them to cover a frown.

Published · 1,633 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Crawling on burnt hands and knees across the blistering hot sand, his throat rasping in searing pain with each seemingly last breath, with only about a day more travel before he reached town, a miner came across a cabin. In the cabin was a rusty water pump. The pump handle was in the up ...Crawling on burnt hands and knees across the blistering hot sand, his throat rasping in searing pain with each seemingly last breath, with only about a day more travel before he reached town, a miner came across a cabin. In the cabin was a rusty water pump.

Published · 4,699 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

What do you know about social media? Before you answer that question, let me tell you that you know more than you may think. Social media are simply other ways for us to communicate and connect with one another. If you are a smart communicator and understand the power of connections, you ...

Published · 1,126 views

What does it take to really hear someone? In a previous article I discussed 4 types of listeners-Compassionate, Too Busy to Listen, Trees for Forrest, It's Me. Each of us has a bit of all four of these types and yet we all aspire to the Compassionate Listener. Some of us think we are ...

Published · 2,648 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

How many times are we asked that question? How many times do we stumble over the response? Let’s see. . . I provide financial services to seniors. . . or I’m a research analyst at the university. As a coach the main problem I encounter with my clients is coming to grips with what they do and ...

Published · 1,054 views

We’ve heard of leadership styles and communication styles. Have you ever wondered about your listening style? Most self-assessments do not measure how we listen. Yet, we all recognize how important listening is to communication. Many people say that listening ranks much higher than actual ...

Published · 12,222 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

A client was struggling with how to manage her stress level during the Q&A period after a presentation when she doesn't have an immediate answer. The simple solution might be to say, "I don't know." But it's not that simple. Sometimes she does know the answer but can't come up with it, because ...

Published · 1,080 views

How do you tell someone what not to wear? When it comes to looking professional, many factors come into play. We all recognize the need to be clean and pressed (right?), but what about our hair or our nails or the scuffs on our shoes? I remember years ago interviewing candidates for a CEO ...

Published · 1,807 views

"Scrooge was better than his word. ... He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old City knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough in the good old world.nn ... And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive ...

Published · 1,016 views

I received many responses from July's article on "Negativity in the Workplace" including some great resources for turning negativity around. It started with friend and colleague Barbara Wilson's email quoting Patch Adams: "The most revolutionary act one can commit in our world is to be publicly ...

Published · 1,091 views

One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in which this resistance causes me to miss a ki moment - a key moment, when I might respond with purpose and intention but do not. Resistance is a reactive habit. When I resist, I'm on automatic, ...

Published · 1,002 views

Benjamin Zander, author, motivational speaker, and conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, often quotes his father as saying that "there is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing." I live in southern coastal New Hampshire, about an hour north of Boston, and when each winter brings day after ...

Published · 1,284 views

"Psychologists have found that we are each more interested in knowing that the other person is trying to empathize with us… than we are in believing that they have actually accomplished that goal. Good listening … is profoundly communicative. And struggling to understand communicates the most ...

Published · 1,181 views

Office parties. Neighborhood open houses. Country club dances. Festive chamber of commerce after hours. Professional organizational luncheons and dinners. From Thanksgiving through Jan. 1, these events have a much more social than business air, even though your membership may be ...

Published · 1,281 views

No matter your station in life, you know that financial capital is essential for business and life success. It helps you survive, first of all, and then to acquire an education and material possessions and to support a family, travel and leave a monetary legacy. Building another kind of wealth ...

Published · 1,240 views

One of the most commonly downloaded free articles on judyringer.com is called, "We Have to Talk: A Step by Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations." It's been in more company newsletters tha I can count, including The Systems Thinker, published by Pegasus Communications. Recently, one ...

Published · 1,051 views

I've been thinking a lot lately about why we fear our more serious conflict conversations, why we put them off or hold them in unconstructive ways. I had one of my own recently and was really quite uncentered for a bit, thinking about how I wanted to hold the conversation, what my positive ...

Published · 1,372 views

One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I've "blown it?" As one good friend said: "I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she ...

Published · 1,094 views

I needed to stop and breathe about a thousand times yesterday what with unaware customer service reps and nasty tech glitches – my favorite hot buttons. It all began when I took my car in to be serviced first thing and learned the service rep had forgotte I needed a ride home. I had ...

Published · 1,122 views

My friend and colleague, Sandy Davis, who lives in the northern reaches of the state of Maine, is an executive leadership coach. Among other things, he teaches people how to be resilient. He has a simple, effective formula that includes spending fifteen minutes each day in three different ...

Published · 1,017 views

A famous scientist was once asked what the difference was between his creativity and that of others in his field. The scientist replied, “Well, when my colleagues asked to find a needle in a haystack, they eventually do find that one needle. But when I’m asked to find a needle in a haystack, I ...A famous scientist was once asked what the difference was between his creativity and that of others in his field. The scientist replied, “Well, when my colleagues asked to find a needle in a haystack, they eventually do find that one needle.

Published · 1,357 views

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, And I fall asleep counting my blessings."nn-- Irving Berli Take a moment to think about this question: What are you thankful for? What came to mind? A person? A pet? A place? Good health? Home and ...

Published · 779 views

Defusing difficult or angry customers calmly and assertively benefits the company, the customer, and the service representative. Managing any difficult situation requires clear communication and intention. You improve with practice. And the rewards – both in terms of personal and bottom line ...

Published · 1,201 views

Is there a conversation you've been putting off? Is there a coworker or family member with whom you need to talk - but don't? Maybe you've tried and it didn't turn out as you had hoped. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make things worse. Whatever the reason, you feel stuck and you'd like ...

Published · 707 views

"… the impossible challenges of life are the best teachers."n– Amy Mindell, Metaskills Driving home late one night during the first snow of the season, I hit a patch of ice on a slippery bridge and collided with the barrier that separates the bridge from the air and the water. I careened off ...

Published · 746 views

• Write letters to loved ones telling them how much they mean to you, before it's too late: Avoid the regret many feel in losing a loved one by writing Loving Letters to loved ones who have had a significant positive impact in your life. This single act will ensure you the peace of mind that ...

Published · 1,809 views

In a difficult conversation when I want to get my point across, I create alignment with my conflict partner through listening and learning what's important to him, what he's really going for, and how what I'm offering might fit with his goals. By giving my partner the freedom to deliver his ...

Published · 726 views

There’s a saying in aikido, “There are many lessons on the mat.” It means that when we’re practicing aikido we’re not just learning aikido, we’re also learning about life. For example, when someone grabs my wrist too hard and I get angry but don’t say ...

Published · 757 views

"Go ahead. Play. Let me see you run!" Mimi cheered us on. I was seven or eight years old, playing with my cousins in the back yard of my grandmother's house in Oak Park, Illinois. Mimi (my Aunt Mary) was probably 30-something at the time and in her wheelchair, where she'd been since a spinal ...

Published · 1,224 views

"We give ourselves the best opportunity to make clear-minded decisions only to the extent that our hearts are at peace." -- The Anatomy of Peace Choosing to resolve conflict begins when we approach it with a "Heart at Peace." So opens a new book I just finished, The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving ...

Published · 2,888 views

"But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes … "nn-- High Hopes, Jimmy Van Heusen/Sammy Cah My friend, Suzanne, is an inspiration. One of her favorite songs is "High Hopes" – as in "high-apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes." I see Suzanne regularly at our ...

Published · 867 views

Recently a client told me a wonderful story about how a change of attitude helped her to keep a valued employee. Angry and grumbling about one of the provisions in the company policy, the employee asked for a private meeting with my client, the owner of a small sales company, and began to tell ...

Published · 1,091 views

"We hold these truths to be self-evident."n--Thomas Jefferso When we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S., we commemorate our struggle to free ourselves from tyranny, and celebrate victory in the quest for Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. We remember the freedoms we normally take ...

Published · 1,088 views

Why do you do what you do? What is your real work in the world, and why is it important to know the answer? I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I have started and run several businesses, and as I look back, I think the most important element in financial and personal success is awareness of purpose ...

Published · 686 views

A friend told me about a conflict she was having with her next door neighbor. Due to a misunderstanding the neighbor was pretty upset, so much so that when they passed on the street and my friend said hello and reached out to shake his hand, he withdrew it, avoided eye contact, muttered a ...

Published · 876 views

The more I practice centering, the more I realize that as important as it is to be able to identify and access the centered state, it is equally important to be able to know when I'm NOT centered. Otherwise, how do I choose? When I'm centered I'm in control of my behavior. Centered action is ...

Published · 670 views

"The power of discovery enables us to achieve excellence without having to be "perfect.'" nn– Thomas Crum, The Magic of Conflict I arrived at the conference center ready to present my workshop. Almost immediately I noticed the room was too small and it was not set up as requested. There ...

Published · 1,121 views

I just got back from Colorado where I spent a week relaxing, re-energizing and revisiting the key values in my life. The lodge where I stayed is called Peaceful Valley, and it has a chapel on the premises. I’ve been to Peaceful Valley and to this chapel many times over the years. The ...

Published · 719 views

"Use every man after his desert, and who shall 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty." – Hamlet, William Shakespeare When was the last time someone made your day – or you made theirs? In the national bestselling ...

Published · 785 views

What happens if you're in a conversation or a conflict and the other person is out of control? How do you manage their strong emotional energy, especially when it's forcefully directed at you? It takes courage to engage in conflict conversations, especially if prior experience produced outcomes ...

Published · 2,036 views

In a recent workshop, "Jane" asked about negativity in the workplace: "Our work environment is so negative. It's like The Wave. One individual starts and then everybody joins in, including me some days. I want to stop. But when I don't engage, they all look at me like I'm "Miss Polly Positive" ...

Published · 1,235 views

Someone asked me recently if I had a guiding principle that helped me decide what new work to take on, and how I decide how much time to spend pursuing my various interests. It's a great question. Entrepreneurs have an idea a minute, and it's often difficult to know which ideas to invest time ...

Published · 894 views

"If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind."n--The Dalai Lama There's a new event in the neighborhood. Every day around 3:30 pm, a neighbor with a new drum set begins practicing -- at full volume. The drummer must be on his deck or screened porch, because there doesn't ...

Published · 1,094 views

"There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."n- William Shakespeare The title of this great Cole Porter song -Night and Day - also describes the sometimes changeable nature of my outlook on life. Example: It is late evening, and I'm thinking about all I have to accomplish in ...

Published · 712 views

"How are you Inventing Your Life Today?" – the lead story from my last issue of Power & Presence – drew comments from several readers. Most of the comments went something like: "I wish I could have the degree of control over my life that you apparently do." I want to say, I wish I had the ...

Published · 873 views

We are what we do repeatedly, Excellence, therefore, is not an act, It is a habit. -- Aristotle The concept of practice applies to any skill that you want to cultivate. If you take up a new musical instrument, you will need to practice a while before you're ready to give your first concert. ...

Published · 826 views

"I'm sick and tired of HR's red tape. I need this employee now, not next month. My department suffers while you drag your feet trying to get references I don't need. I want THIS person. Get off the stick and make it happen!" OK! Jack's trying to communicate an important need. What's his ...

Published · 4,829 views

Occasionally I have an identity crisis. I think that's good. From time to time I have to ask myself questions like: Who am I? What am I doing? Do I like doing it? Am I good at it? Will it help the world? and How does the world know I'm doing it? It began this time when I asked a friend and ...

Published · 699 views

No one ever has too much confidence - ego, yes, confidence no. Do you keep in mind that your walk and posture bespeak your confidence before you begin your pitch? They influence your audience of one or one hundred to make initial decisions about your capabilities … before you even shake ...

Published · 1,310 views

Recently, I had a delightful visit with my friend, Linda, and her four-month-old twins, Sophia and Sam. Oh my. What joyful little beings. Tiny centering machines. I'd gotten lost on the way to Linda's house and arrived half an hour late, uncentered and stressed. Sophia and Sam were asleep in ...

Published · 854 views

As a professional singer and speaker, I'm often asked if I still get nervous in front of an audience. I do. But I've learned to use my nervous energy – and minimize its impact. I practice aikido, a martial art based on aligning with the attacker and redirecting the attack. Instead of ...

Published · 3,032 views

"Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his ...

Published · 1,230 views

I am a martial artist and black belt in aikido, a practice that continues to teach me about life, both on and off the mat. For example, at the end of each aikido practice, I express gratitude to my partners by bowing and saying: "Thank you very much." I've found over the years that sometimes I ...

Published · 811 views

"Go ahead, Judy, talk to your father. What do you want to say?" With these words offered by my favorite Aunt Mimi, I was given the greatest gift—the gift of myself. Mimi and I had gone on an aunt-niece shopping adventure, and at age 15, I became the proud owner of my first mini-skirt. Upon ...

Published · 700 views

I swim most mornings at the community pool and then, if there’s time, reward myself with a soak in the hot tub. It's a great tub with room for four or five people, the water is really hot, and you can turn the bubbles on or off. My favorite soak is when I'm alone and the water is still. I ...

Published · 651 views

"In between stimulus and response, there is a pause, and in that pause we have the opportunity to make a different choice."nn ~ Victor Frankl Reading a blog post recently by my friend and colleague, Judy Warner, I was inspired. Although I teach aikido techniques like the practice of centering ...

Published · 1,371 views

Most of the time, your eage ess to get your point across guarantees that you won't. It seems the harder you push to be heard, the harder they push back. How do you create a willing listener? It's easy: be one. Being heard is exactly what the other person wants, too. So give what you would like ...

Published · 717 views

Preparing for an out of the ordinary training, I had worried myself into a state of anxiety I hadn't experienced in quite a while. Thank goodness my husband Jim noticed and asked me: "If you didn't feel you had to be perfect, weren't preoccupied with flawlessness or being wonderful enough, would ...

Published · 954 views

You've spent time and energy preparing and holding an important conversation. You developed a useful purpose, acknowledged your conversation partner, and framed your message with skill. But, in spite of your best efforts, the situation does not improve: a direct report continues to be ...

Published · 1,015 views

I entered the service center of my car dealership ten minutes early for a scheduled maintenance. The service rep took my name and confirmed the details. After a few minutes, she asked if I'd be waiting for the car. I said "What do you mean? We spoke about this when I made the appointment. I need ...

Published · 1,448 views

Our goal in conscious communication is not to change the other person . . . Our goal is to establish connection. Andrew LeCompte, author, Creating Harmonious Relationships A parent of three attended a workshop I gave on managing conflict. A few days after the workshop, she emailed me to say ...

Published · 726 views

Think of a conversation you’ve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then let’s go. There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) conversations (I list nseveral at the end of this article). Those times when you know you should talk to ...

Published · 767 views

My friend was going through a difficult divorce. In an evening phone conversatio I asked a question, wanting to help, and immediately realized I'd said exactly the wrong thing. I'd unintentionally made my friend feel like the last ally she had in the world was also against her. I took my ...

Published · 1,670 views

Time, time, time. It seems there is never enough of this precious life support. In a previous story about time, I quoted the following aphorism: TIME IS MY FRIEND, TIME IS MY ALLY I HAVE ALL THE TIME I NEED FOR EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO. I received a lot of grateful responses and some ...

Published · 763 views

Does conflict disrupt your workplace environment? Read on! Judy Ringer answers some commonly asked questions on the subjects of workplace conflict, difficult people, and how to manage them more effectively. Q. What are some typical breakdowns in the workplace? JR: I wouldn’t call them ...

Published · 1,298 views

A Definition of the Word Abuse" is excerpted from The Spouse Abuse Tutorial located at . We begin with a definition of the word abuse. If you enter the word "abuse" in Google (the internet search engine) it brings up more than 20,000 references. What's interesting is that no two of the web ...

Published · 4,215 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

"When attack becomes dance, everything is seen as a gift of energy." That sounds great, doesn't it? Couldn't we all use a little more energy from time to time? I know I could. Right now, for instance, as I sit with a blanket over my shoulders, sipping lemon tea and hoping that the next ...

Published · 947 views

This is one of a series of brief articles on holding difficult conversations. In earlier issues of Ki Moments, I suggested ways to open communications that create mutual respect; we talked about the importance of knowing your purpose for the conversation; and we added Inquiry and Curiosity to ...

Published · 827 views

A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens." I think I must believe that, because I worry a lot -- and about the most insignificant things. I worry about the big things, of course, like health, relationships, and finances. But ...

Published · 667 views

There are many ways to improve the way you communicate. For example, you will always start things off on the right foot by opening the conversation in a way that creates mutual respect. Using phrases such as, "If you have a minute, I'd like to talk with you about something that I think will ...

Published · 819 views

“If you don’t like what’s happening in your life, change your mind.” This brief quotation from the Dalai Lama reminds me that my experience of life changes as I do. As I change, I change the way I influence - and am influenced by - my surroundings. How are you inventing your life today? How ...

Published · 719 views

What is center? How do you choose to be centered, and why? In what ways can you develop a strong center? As a student and instructor of the Japanese martial art Aikido, and as a professional speaker and trainer, I often present on this topic nnand, in addition, have made centering a life ...

Published · 737 views

Last week I attended an excellent 2-day workshop called "Staying Grounded When on the Spot," offered by the Public Conversations Project, in Watertown, MA. Geared to help facilitators and trainers manage challenging group moments, I found that the skills applied in a variety of settings, ...

Published · 776 views

The beginning of a new year, like the beginning of anything, brings with it thoughts of change, rejuvenation, new life, and resolutions about how to accomplish these changes. Life offers possibilities of a fresh start for our relationships. But we don't always carry through on our resolutions. ...

Published · 1,366 views

My good friend and colleague, Thomas Crum, taught me a lot of what I know about having hard conversations. A method he uses with children - the BLT - is so simple and easy to remember, I often use it with adults, too. Breathe, Learn, Talk. So when a mom asked me about how to help her 10-year-old daughter Becky solve a problem with her teasing friend, Tom's BLT method was a perfect solution. Becky's friend was making jokes at her expense, and Becky wanted her to stop. Conflict Resolution for Kids: Breathe, Learn, Talkr Dear Becky,r

Published · 1,081 views

What does this quotation by Morihei Ueshiba say to you? “Opponents confront us continually, but actually there is no opponent there.” Morihei Ueshiba, 1883-1969, is the founder of Aikido, the martial art I practice, teach, and use as a metaphor in my work. Aikido -- "The Way of Blending With Energy" -- teaches us to unite with the "opponent's" energy and redirect it, keeping both defender and attacker free from harm and re-establishing harmony. Dealing With Difficult Conflictr

Published · 1,193 views

"Keep your center and you’ll know which way you have to go."n n– Terry Dobson, aikidoist and author, Aikido In Everyday Life I had undertaken a project that I was beginning to feel was beyond my personal resources to accomplish. I had asked a friend and colleague if I might organize a workshop ...

Published · 816 views

The Holiday Season. Does time seems to compress, or is it just me? There's so much going on - the end of autumn, the beginning of winter, and all the holidays that follow. As a child it was an exciting time of year. As an adult, it seems filled with more shopping, baking, parties, and other ...

Published · 711 views

It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked into the pool locker room feeling a little soggy around the edges. I asked my pool friend, Laurie, how she was and she said, "Bright and cheery. It's a wonderful day and I'm going to accomplish a lot of good things." Laurie, who is recovering from hip ...

Published · 688 views

“Discomfort is not a problem to be solved, not an enemy to be fought, not a monster to escape from; but instead an energetic relationship within, to be owned with courage and grace, and transformed through total acceptance, divine wisdom, and love.” Joe Hurley We all experience discomfort at one point or another in our lives. And many people have been experiencing some intense discomfort lately. In this article, I focus on the subject of healing discomfort.

Published · 1,315 views

"I like to think of myself as an artist, and my life is my greatest work of art. Every moment is a moment of creation, and each moment of creation contains infinite possibilities. I can do things the way I've always done them, or I can look at all the different alte atives, and try something ...

Published · 746 views

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."n-- From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley Walking dow Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth, I am struck by the beauty of the day – forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze – and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in ...

Published · 1,038 views

Do you sometimes have the feeling that you're running into the same obstacles over and over again? Many of my conflicts have the same feel to them, like "Hey, I think I've been here before," but I can't figure out how I wound up in the same place. The situation is different, but the conflict ...

Published · 1,003 views

Ever notice how comfortable you feel with certain people? You can say and do what you want, and communication flows smoothly. Then, there are those OTHER people. The ones whose footsteps in the hallway make the hair on the back of your neck bristle as you put on your armor for the battle that ...

Published · 3,724 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 4 votes

“I always get nervous” Peter said “whenever I’m speaking on the telephone.” “You mean to tell me that each and every single time when you use a phone you get nervous? Has this been going on since you first learned to use a phone? Are you hiding something and afraid of being caught?” I responded.

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Ask most people the question “what are you good at?” and the probability is high that you’ll first get the eye-roll, followed up with the auditory response, “awm, hmm,” etc. You might even get that long pensive look, first, the classic frowning, second, then the statement: “Let’s see,” third. Be ...Ask most people the question “what are you good at?” and the probability is high that you’ll first get the eye-roll, followed up with the auditory response, “awm, hmm,” etc. You might even get that long pensive look, first, the classic frowning, second, then the statement: “Let’s see,” third.

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Recently in a furniture store, I observed a sales-clerk (Let’s call him Harry) and a customer (Lets call her Lisa) entangled in a vicious verbal sparring match over a lamp Lisa had purchased. “Maybe it didn’t happen in the store” Harry said. “Of course it did. When I went home I opened the ...Recently in a furniture store, I observed a sales-clerk (Let’s call him Harry) and a customer (Lets call her Lisa) entangled in a vicious verbal sparring match over a lamp Lisa had purchased. “Maybe it didn’t happen in the store” Harry said.

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Once you have set your goals, there are two key things you must have ready at all times: your verbal and printed business cards. Let’s look first at those all-important introductory words that describe what you do—words that will capture others’ attention and hold their interest. Your ...

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When you're really angry, what do you want? • Satisfaction? • Support? • Understanding? • An ally? • Agreement? • Self-control? When I'm really upset, I want all of the above, but I think my highest priority is to get back to a composed, centered self that can operate effectively, efficiently and purposefully. And I'm grateful for someone who will help me get there.

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"Judy, I thought of the opportunity that lies in managing conflict AFTER I came out of one today. Always after. I am so angry at myself for always biting the hook, for falling that damn hole. I can't seem to remember to become present. I just go right for my old ways and then I publicly embarrass myself. I am a batter who keeps swinging and striking out. Is there hope?"

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It's easy to be a shock jock today. Twitter, Facebook, Google +1. What is it about social media that allows us to drop our inhibitions and say anything that comes to mind? Could there be something beneficial about having no filters? What can we learn from Anthony Weiner's experience with social media?

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It started out innocuously. I asked a colleague if she'd be willing to listen to an upcoming presentation for a local non-profit. She said she would, and I plunged in. My colleague had a lot to say and delivered it with stinging energy. "You use too much jargon; I hate jargon," she said. "And you need something besides theory. They'll fall asleep." My hackles went up. Wow! Was there anything you liked? My left hand column was in overdrive. I was ready to leap on her but stopped, centered myself, and decided to practice what I do, in fact, teach.

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A good friend gave me a book last week, thinking I might like it. The book is "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion" by Jesuit Priest Gregory Boyle about his work with gangs in Los Angeles, CA. Reading the first chapters in the early spring sun this morning at Beach Pea in Kittery, Maine, I feel calm and centered and blessed. The book's uplifting message, flowers budding, birds stopping for crumbs, and the melody of conversation at nearby tables open a stillness in me, a quiet place of gratitude and connection, of being lucky to be alive.

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I spent time with Wendy Palmer in Boston recently. Wendy is an author, inspirational teacher and bright spirit. She offers coaching and training programs for leaders, groups, and individuals like you and me on Conscious Embodiment.

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Sometimes it seems that the energy has been drained from much of our communication. We try to do the right thing, say the right words, and be safe instead of real. And while our intentions are noble, we often leave the meaning out. It stays hidden behind carefully constructed technique that actually doesn't say very much. While I am not in favor of reactively blurting out whatever comes to mind, unfiltered and potentially harmful, I am in favor of being real. Of saying what we need to say so that we can engage in meaningful dialogue.

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The capacity to withhold an action that we have prepared but reconsidered is an important distinction between intelligent and impulsive behavior.rn~ Marcel Brass, of the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences and of Ghent University.

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“We defy augury; there is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.”rn-- Hamlet, Act 5, Scene ii, William Shakespeare A friend stopped me on the way out of the locker room. Conce ed about a fellow exerciser's habit of not wiping down the equipment after using it, she asked me if I thought she should say something. She thought about going to the facility manager, but the word tattle-tale came to mind. What should she do?

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There’s a saying in Aikido: “There are many lessons on the mat.” It means that when we’re practicing Aikido we’re not just learning Aikido, we’re also learning about life. For example, when someone grabs my wrist too hard and I get angry but don’t say anything, I eventually learn that it would be more useful to ask him not to grab so hard. I may also notice that it’s difficult for me to ask for what I want in other places in my life, that I suffer needlessly because of it, and that I blame others and justify my blaming instead of taking action. Many lessons...r

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"If you lose your purpose, it's like you're broken."rn~Hugo Cabret Over the holidays, I saw the movie Hugo. I went without great expectation, but I was delightfully surprised. It's a wonderful movie, full of fantasy, fun, and food for thought. I like movies with messages, and this one had many. The one that stuck, though, is the idea that, in a well-designed machine, there are "no spare parts."

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Here’s an idea: instead of making 2012 resolutions, which are often idealistic and unrealistic, create a 2012 Relationship-building Plan. It is practical, concrete and can help you achieve maximum benefits from your networking endeavors. Almost all of you will agree that networking – whether face-to-face, online or preferably both – is still the number one way to increase sales, get a job and enhance your career success.

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Disclaimer. You're probably reading this because you want to be heard, and I'm going to talk about how to listen. Because that's how to be heard. Become a good listener. The three primary ingredients of conversation are: Inquiry, Acknowledgment, and Advocacy. • Inquiry is about learning, curiosity, and doing your best to understand how something looks to someone else. • Acknowledgement is letting that someone know you've heard them. • Advocacy is inviting them to hear you.

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I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.rn~ Charles Dickens At church last Sunday, our pastor invited the youth of the congregation up front for the traditional "Time for Young Disciples." Three- and four-year-olds, seven- and ten-year-olds all came forward bearing Sunday smiles and the energy of the young at heart. Since we're in the season of Advent, Pastor Dawn asked: "What do we know about Christmas?" Answers (in this order): • You get presents. • You give presents. • You get a Christmas tree. • You get presents!r

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Even the most effective leaders lose their way occasionally. In spite of best efforts, you forget how much influence you have and how your action (or inaction) affects the workplace environment. These six traits are common causes. Ineffective Leadership Traits 1) Avoiding Conflictr

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I received a hopeful inquiry from a visitor to my Website recently: This is a common question with coaching clients and in workshops. What if I'm the only one who wants to resolve the conflict? While I have written on this topic in past posts, I think the question deserves more attention. What if they don't care about resolving the conflict? If you're entering a conflict conversation believing this, it will be difficult to gain traction. More than any other element, your attitude does the heavy lifting in determining how the conversation goes.

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Communicate to Stand Out – I Dr Manideepa Patnaik Editor in Chief at http://www.ubiqusgroup.com/ijmp Independent trainer on writing at http://sites.google.com/site/awcourse

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Communicate to Stand Out- II Dr Manideepa Patnaik Dr Manideepa Patnaikr Editor in Chief at http://www.ubiqusgroup.com/ijmp Independent trainer on writing at http://sites.google.com/site/awcoursernr

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Managerial Core Competence Manideepa Patnaik International journal of Management Perspectives http://www.ubiqusgroup.com/ijmp

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My sisters and I got talking at a recent family reunion about how differently we each deal with conflict. We recalled our teen years when one or two of us would easily blow up at my mom or dad when something didn’t go their way (I’m not naming names!). This kind of reaction, which we all remembered, was unbelievable to those of us who would bite our lip, act like everything was fine, and skulk away to lick our wounds.

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“What?” you may ask. Listening is the most important human relations skill. You tell others how much you care by how well you listen. Why wouldn’t everyone try to do it well? That’s why I am raising the question. I find myself in far too many situations where there are more senders than receivers, in communication parlance. If you rearrange the letters in “listen,” you get “silent.” Being quiet when someone else speaks is only the first step. You could be daydreaming about your recent golf score, preparing your dinner menu or thinking about how to get out of the conversation.

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Thanks Jeffrey Mitchell for being the impetus for this two-part article on how to join a conversation politely that is continued on my blog, www.lilliancommunicates.com. Jeffrey, admissions advisor at DeVry University’s Keller Graduate School of Management and a loyal sponsor of my Greater Chicago Networking Extravaganza, posted his article, “What are the most annoying things people can do at networking events?” on my Greater Chicago Networking LinkedIn Group. As people responded with their irritations, variations of one came to the forefront:r

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Part I covered how to know physically when and how to join a conversation. This article examines an equally important element: what to talk about as you join others to ensure a more pleasant experience and more business success. Gender differencesr Gender differences in communication present a major stumbling block to getting conversations off the ground. Men, you have a few preferred topics in your small talk repertoire: sports, current events, business/jobs.

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So, there I was alone in a hotel room in Poughkeepsie, NY, instead of attending my college reunion festivities. I’d been looking forward to meeting up with past classmates, going to lectures and, most of all, walking the campus. The Vassar campus is unbelievably beautiful in June. Trees are centuries old, architecture is varied and grand, gardens abundant; and walking the well-known paths is a silent meditation. But the first thing I did after breakfast was to fall and sprain my ankle. It took approximately ten minutes to blow up like a balloon, and it hurt – a lot.

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Aikidoists know the importance of posture. Head over shoulders over hips, weight balanced over both feet, which are about shoulder width apart. Bowing posture, Seiza (seated) posture, Hanmi (standing) posture. Body and mind are connected. When our posture is upright and ready, everything is. We’re open, relaxed, and prepared for whatever may come.

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Is there a difficult conversation you’re not holding? * Coworker not pulling their weight? * Supervisor not holding members of the team accountable? * Irritating behavior getting on your nerves? What stops you from saying what’s on your mind? You may know exactly what you want to say, but you don’t say it. Instead the problem festers and the associated emotions leak out. You talk to others about the problem, lose sleep, or take refuge in a cold shoulder, sarcasm, or temper tantrum. The longer you hold back, the harder it is to bring it up.

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There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.rn-- Benjamin Zander Author/conductor Ben Zander’s quotation flashed through my mind when I had to cancel a day of work thanks to a nor’easter that blew though Portsmouth in January. As forecasters made their blizzard predictions, my mood grew cloudier. O, for heaven’s sake! We’ve got fourteen people coming. I can’t believe this! Stupid, stupid weather!

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If so many people agree that networking is more about the other person then why do so many people forget to check their ego at the door? It is disconcerting and sometimes downright irritating to talk with someone who uses a dozen “Is” in the first few minutes. Over and over again, no matter the event, you hear “I” am doing this, “I” am enjoying this success, here’s what “I” did when that happened to me. And for good measure, they throw in a few “my” book is outselling others in its genre, and “my” workshop was such a big hit.

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In Aikido we use an exercise to physically distinguish between three kinds of power -- power that is rigid and controlling, power that's limp and ineffectual, and power that flows. Verbally and emotionally we act out these three forms of power when we attack ("I can't believe you're late again!"), manipulate or acquiesce ("I guess I'll just have to put up with you being the way you are."), or speak with purpose and positive intent ("In the future, I'd appreciate your calling when you know you're going to be late.").

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In his thoughtful and thought-provoking song “Anyone Can Whistle,” Stephen Sondheim writes: It's all so simple, Relax, let go, let fly. So someone tell me, why can't I? In this month of giving, getting, and gathering, when we all do more and push harder, relaxing and letting go are relegated to minor bullet points on the To Do List. In our bustling and striving, we barely remember what we’re bustling and striving for. In our rush to find the perfect turkey or bottle of wine, we forget why we’re looking. Mindful of the next task, we miss being present to this one.

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Emotions happen. We can, however, make choices about how we manage them. If you consider emotions simply as a form of life energy, you can begin to reframe the notion that there are "good" and "bad" emotions and direct that energy in positive ways. The energy of anger, for example, can make you reactive. Or it can help you gain clarity about why you’re so charged, recover control of yourself in the moment, and develop a more intentional communication style. Five Tips to Manage Your Anger in the Heat of the Moment:

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The content can be current chitchat; the role small talk plays, however, is far from minor. It’s an enormously important conversation starter and often determines if you want to keep talking – hence the opportunity to build a relationship – or make a quick escape. Because the content may seem unimportant (let’s get right to the “what do you?” and “what can you do for me”), you may think it unnecessary to prepare … and wing it. That works for the few people who can think succinctly on their feet and then articulate their thoughts fluently and effortlessly.

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I grew up thinking that “thank you” is an automatic response when someone does something for you. It shows appreciation, consideration and respect for the person who goes out of her/his way … whether it is a small thing, medium or huge. What’s happened to this simple gesture that is such a vital part of the relationship-building process? It generally doesn’t cost anything except a few seconds or minutes of your time. Being in the networking and communication business, I have ample opportunities to connect people and pass on referrals and leads.

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… you have to sound as if you know what you know. Ever been in a meeting and made a really good point, and people keep right on talking? Shortly thereafter, a man makes the same point and he is lauded for his great contribution. And you think to yourself, “That was my point!” It’s time to “stand up” and take credit for your contributions. It means being more assertive and possibly even unlea ing some of the things your mother taught you in good faith.

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Many clients I work with take things in their lives and relationships personally. When I first introduce the concept that many things they think are personal really are not personal, I hear responses such as: "How could I not take it personally? I am the one being rejected!" "It's not someone else she's angry with, it is me so how is that not personal?"

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How can you budget for social media time? People keep asking me how they can add social media to their already packed daily schedule. They fear that employees will be using their work time to Tweet about personal things or to talk to their friends on Facebook. One of the biggest complaints I hear from salespeople as well as CEO's relates to time.

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Have you wondered about what LinkedIn can do for you as a powerful lead generator? One of the most important things you need to do is create a profile that will entice people to your services or products. A boring, resume-looking profile will not do the trick. Furthermore, your profile must be complete. If you go to a networking event and someone later looks you up on LinkedIn (and they will!), what will they see? Here are some tips to help you create a LinkedIn profile that will generate sales leads:

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In communication, the single largest difficulty for nearly everyone comes when a critical discussion transforms from the logical "give and take" that I described in my last newsletter into something less productive. Two familiar forms of this are Advocacy and Defensiveness. I will talk about Advocacy today.

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All of the components of the engagement stance are important, but if you miss out on authenticity, you will have a hard time establishing credibility. When someone you speak with lacks authenticity, it feels manipulative, even if there is no evidence of manipulation.

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For the last few weeks, I have elaborated on the elements of attitude that provide the best point of view from which to approach a discussion. Studying these elements and learning how to incorporate them authentically into your communication will help you remain collaborative and avoid falling into the advocacy trap. More on this in upcoming weeks. Now it's time to look at some of the elements critical to conducting the discussion.

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To manage your time effectively, first manage your space effectively. This article explains the benefits of becoming more organized. If you're like most career professionals, chances are you feel time-pressed right now. If so, you might be comforted in knowing that you're not alone -- nearly everyone in our society is experiencing time-pressure. The pace of change in society has increased, and human response to change hasn't caught up -- yet.

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Last time I wrote about Advocacy as an impediment to the logical give and take that distinguishes collaboration. I characterized it as a learned behavior, and one that can be partially or fully managed by a skilled communicator that recognizes it and knows how to steer a group around it. I also mentioned another impediment - Defensiveness. That is the subject this week.

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Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. It is therefore the essence of connection in communication.

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Spirituality does not have to be restricted to the confines of organized religion. Freed from the rules, restrictions, and impediments that organized religion may impose upon you, how and where might you be more spiritual in your life?

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In a society of communication and information overload, many people try to do two or more things at once to get more done or look busy. However, as this article explains, multi-tasking is actually less productive than focusing on one activity at a time. When you attempt to do two or more things at once, you’re multi-tasking. You are more likely to do an unsatisfactory work when you continually multi-task.

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Three Steps to Achieve Success Many people spend a lifetime searching for the secret to success when it is in front of them the whole time. There really isn't a magic secret to being successful it just requires purposeful action. Purposeful action means that we behave in a fully conscious manner and think about every action that we take. We don't leave things to chance, except when appropriate, and we purposefully do things to improve things about ourselves. We don’t let life happen to us, we make it happen.

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“You’re ridin’ high in April, shot down in May.” –Frank Sinatra If you are reading this you are likely in one now currently or are remembering a time when you were. The dreaded sales slump. It happens- even to the best of us. Sales can be a hero to zero business. The highs can be heavenly while the lows are at best bearable. When you find yourself in one, consider the 4 “R”s.

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Somehow, when we were young, we thought everything was possible for us. We could easily say "I want to be an astronaut" and truly believe so! No matter what happened, we could speak (and also laugh, cry and shout) in front of a lot of people, without even noticing it! Somehow, as we grew older, our self confidence became nimbler and weaker, product of social conditioning, and now we sweat and tremble when we're asked to address a few words! Quite a job they have been doing with our minds, huh?

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Nowadays people do not buy products or services because of their quality or price. In fact, they don’t even buy the product itself! How many times have you bought a product just by looking at it, having heard something good about it, or even having seen it on TV? This means that the product itself and the benefit we will gain from its use are the least important factors of the purchase.

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A- Assurance. Has this ever happened to you: you deliver a planned, powerful, positioned presentation, and your prospect says something like, “Sounds great! I like it, I want, I need it. I’m going to do it! (wait for it…) Call me Tuesday!” You call Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday… no sale. Sound familiar? What happened?

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E- Evaluation. Once your prospect is within realization (see part 1), evaluation begins. Human beings are evaluation machines. Evaluations are simply questions your prospects are asking which much be answered to their satisfaction before they buy. Your prospect consciously or unconsciously asks questions in four general areas: ?Why you? • Why your company? • Why your product/service? • Why now? Failure to satisfactorily answer just one of these areas can kill your sale.

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Have you ever wondered why some people buy and some don’t? Why you can ‘nail’ a presentation and still lose the sale? Why some prospect with obvious needs won’t even talk to you? Why some people give a fast “yes” but you end up with a slow “no”? It’s not about you.

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Regardless of the progress made through legislation over the years, discrimination and bigotry still exist and utilize more subtle tactics to exclude perceived undesirables from groups and organizations of all kinds. Although mobbing is usually described as a status-blind form of harassment it also can be used by some to mask discrimination directed at individuals associated with those groups protected by law. The 1993 award winning film, Philadelphia, is a good example of how this can happen.

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The elements of the engagement stance (Presence, Engagement, Empathy, Openness, Curiosity, Depth, Safety, and Collaboration) are so vital to good communication that I will post articles about all of them over the coming weeks. These eight points are the keys to the kingdom, and if you master nothing else but these, you will be amazed at the improvement in your communication. I covered Curiosity already, so I will look at a Presence this time.

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Information is a form of power. With the increased flow of information and technological intrusion in society, you're all but ensured of facing a constantly growing array of work-related expectations. You can be sure that these higher expectations, especially when you have the same finite resources, will lead to more stress. The more tools of technology that are created to assist you, the more you are asked to do; however, even with these increased pressures to do more, it is possible to work with greater efficiency.

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There have been many times in our lives when we have wanted to say something, but elected not to. Afterwards, we may wish we had and ponder why we didn’t. Sometimes, we remember when we said something and wish we hadn’t, or a time when we blurted something that was harsher than we meant it to be, or the other person was offended even though we were “diplomatic”. We feel like the other party will get mad. Or we don’t feel like it will help. Or we feel that the other person won’t understand. Or we feel they will say something that we don’t want to deal with.

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From time to time I have found myself watching ESPN’s coverage of the World Series of Poker. It provides an interesting look into human nature. Statistically, roughly 12 millio Americans play poker, but only 5% are consistently profitable. Some of these 5% make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year and all they do is play poker. The winner of the 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event… $12 million dollars in approximately six and a half days. Now, those of you who understand the game of poker, you know where that money comes from. That’s right, it comes from the losers!

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My clients often ask me how to communicate more effectively. We all are capable of practicing effective communication we just haven't learned how to actually do it. Here are some basic tips on how to get started.

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If you have taken any classes thorough Pathfinder, you may remember me saying that this is the season for rhetoric and persuasive speech. As we enter the last 40 days before the election, things will reach a pitch. It will be fun to see what you remember from class. For instance: · Can you restate the controversies in one to three simple sentences? · To what issues would the topoi lead us in the various controversies? (example - for a claim of fact, the topoi would suggest the questions "How would we know if it is true?" and " Have those conditions been met?")

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If you’ve been victimized often, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you – often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination. Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, hurried and often competitive and conflict-oriented society can become as easy as brushing one’s teeth for some people. Taking time to listen or give comfort to another requires the kind of care and empathy that many generally good, though imperfect, people demonstrate routinely.

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In my classes on Influence, we learn to identify 1) key behaviors that are at the heart of creating change and 2) “recovery behaviors” that represent what to do when things aren’t working as expected. Two generic recovery behaviors are 1) speaking up, and 2) training. It sounds easy; when a process isn’t working as expected, we need to speak up.

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Strong body, strong heart, high hopes © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill— High Possibility Thinking: Set great expectations] It's tough to feel excited and energized about your future when you're tired or run down. So boost your "bring it on!" with our strategies for staying healthy, strong, and vibrant.

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© 2009, Diana Morris and Doug Davin www.breakthroughskills.com Writer’s block. Usually said with the same tone we might use for “root canal” or “audit,” writer’s block is the frustration of being stumped by a writing task. No ideas are flowing, or the ones that are seem silly, clunky, or somehow not quite right. As your frustration builds, so does the panic of knowing you’re wasting time you probably don’t have to waste. Just about everyone can relate.

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© 2009, Diana Morris and Doug Davin www.breakthroughskills.com Writer’s block. Usually said with the same tone we might use for “root canal” or “audit,” writer’s block is the frustration of being stumped by a writing task. No ideas are flowing, or the ones that are seem silly, clunky, or somehow not quite right. As your frustration builds, so does the panic of knowing you’re wasting time you probably don’t have to waste. Just about everyone can relate.

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A powerful approach to turning conflict in your favor © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill Conflict Management: Keep cool in hot situations] You may have heard some version of the saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” You keep trying to get an employee to take the initiative, but he won’t. He does just what he’s told and not a calorie more. The rest of the team picks up the slack, but their resentment and frustration are growing.

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How optimism and positive expectation put you in control of your life © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill—High Possibility Thinking: Set great expectations] What is it about positive people? They’re like success magnets. They always seem to be in the right place when the plum assignment or opportunity arises. When they’re not around, people talk about them in only the most flattering ways. Loyal friends and supportive coworkers surround them.

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Successful people and teams create a vision of the future they want; they don’t wait to receive one. By Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”rn—James Allen, As a Man Thinketh Around 1730, while in his late 20s, Benjamin Franklin made a list of 13 virtues.

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How to prime your brain to expect success © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill— High Possibility Thinking: Set great expectations] Two people begin separate consulting practices. Each loses a critical contract.

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Conflict prepares you for breakthroughs © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com We’ve all got preconceived ideas about what relationships “should be” like or how teams “ought to” work. These expectations can cause us a lot of grief as relationship after relationship seems to fall short. But as we’ve seen, conflicts at work are a given. There are no perfect teams, managers, or employees, and it’s not possible to have a job where people never frustrate of disappoint you.

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How to get the facts—all of them—before any confrontation © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill—Conflict Management: Keep cool in hot situations] It could be that nothing is more damaging, not to mention embarrassing, than confronting someone when it’s not warranted, when you’re either dead wrong or you’re missing a key fact, something you should know but forgot to ask.

Published · 1,426 views · Rated 2.7/5 from 3 votes

Keys to learning and growing through tough times © 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill—Conflict Management: Keep cool in hot situations] Conflict can sometimes strengthen us more than any other kind of experience. And the lessons we learn through conflict tend to stick because they come at emotionally-charged times.

Published · 1,224 views · Rated 2.7/5 from 3 votes

© 2009, Doug Davin and Diana Morris www.breakthroughskills.com n[Featured Breakthrough Skill—High Possibility Thinking: Set great expectations] The great Hudson School landscape artist Joseph Turner, famous for using vibrant colors in his bigger-than-life paintings, was once asked, “Why do you paint in such extravagant colors? You don’t see those colors in nature.” “Yes, that’s true,” he replied, “but don’t you wish you did?” The questions you ask are a frame you draw around the future you’re creating.

Published · 1,380 views · Rated 3/5 from 4 votes

Your ideas are exceptional: a breakthrough product, a high potential business opportunity, a way to simplify a key process…but is anyone listening? Add impact and power to your next sales letter, memo, report, proposal, or presentation with these proven techniques: 1. Start with what readers need to know rather than what you want to say. What do readers already know about your topic? What are their business conce s? What will they gain or avoid losing by taking the action you’re asking them to take? What ideas or opinions will they have as they read or hear your message?

Published · 2,649 views · Rated 3.2/5 from 6 votes

Do you want your boyfriend to be with you forever but you are worried that one day he will eventually leave you? Then it’s important for you to understand the events that can truly occur and set the right course for your actions. Many women are worried that one day their boyfriend will lose interest in them and leave them, usually for another woman. And they search for ways to make him love them and want to stay with them forever. But is such an expectation even realistic? Let’s take a look into the psychology of human emotions and find out.

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My clients frequently ask me how to find happiness. Over the years I've noticed that a common characteristic of people who are happy is having a strong awareness of who we are and where we are going. Self-awareness is a deep understanding of who we are. It literally impacts how we treat ourselves and others and what kind of life we live. Let me give you a real world example to illustrate how important it is to get to know yourself.

Published · 1,541 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

Everyone is on a quest for respect. Parents want their kids to do it, employees want bosses to do it, spouses demand it of each other, teachers ask their students for it and people in general feel good when it happens to them. Why is it then that so many people have no clue what respect means? Let’s take a look at this elusive quality by first defining the term.

Published · 2,208 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

Your children are your legacy. If you want them to be happy in life, then it's important for them to have social confidence, so they can make friends and build great relationships. Here's how to help them achieve this. Many children grow up lacking social confidence. The environment they grow up in, the people they interact with and the messages they get from the media often encourage them to see themselves in a poor light and this makes them lack social confidence.

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Are you driven? Successful salespeople are very goal driven determined to achieve their distant star and beyond. Further defining the personality and deep within, the successful salesperson does soul searching to understand their motivating forces and then prioritizes which to accomplish first. This becomes a forever commitment to education to do one’s best. And the competitive salesperson strives to be the best.

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Do you want to have a stronger social impact on others? Then become a better listener and better able to understand other people’s perspective. There are 3 very effective ways to do this. Listening skills play a crucial role in building quality relationships with others. It is through good listening that you are able to get a grasp on their inner and outer world. So when you speak, you are better equipped to have a strong impact on them and see good results.

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Does frustration set in when ignored or told “No”? I find being ignored the most frustrating of the two because it puts communication at a standstill, while being told “No” is usually an easy fix. When you are awaiting a response from someone but it does not come, try a variety of methods for getting in touch. Do your best to not let irritation get in the way; instead use a soft tone to hopefully encourage a response. You might begin with, “I know you are very busy…”

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If you wanna have success in this world, then your ability to make yourself likeable will play an essential role. Find out what makes a person likeable and you will access a very important resource for your personal or professional success. The truth is there are lots of things that can potentially make a person likeable. Various people have various tastes regarding other people, so there is a lot of leeway here.

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When it comes to building trust and rapport, there are seven basic principles that we have found to be key. The first of those is as follows: Avoid Criticizing and Complaining Any behavior that is negative will inherently go against the spirit of building trust and rapport with someone. And so this first principle is simple, yet powerful. Allow me to illustrate through an example.

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I worked with a group recently that was extremely polite with one another. I'm not just talking about the normal courteous behavior. I'm talking about over-the-top, almost painful levels of politeness. There was absolutely no interrupting, no challenges to anything anyone would say, and polite smiles plastered on everyone's faces at all times. Now this may sound like utopia to some, but I found it extraordinarily uncomfortable. It signaled to me a complete unwillingness to engage in any real way with one another.

Published · 1,582 views · Rated 1/5 from 1 votes

All companies go through periods of greater success as well as challenging times. It's a part of the natural ebb and flow of economic reality. And when times are tough, company leaders need to find ways to motivate their team to beat the slump - not beat THEM up.

Published · 1,748 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

In his book, The Power of Optimism, author Alan Loy McGinnis uses the phrase “tough-minded optimist” to talk about the mental and emotional strength that optimism requires. That’s just spot on.

Published · 3,386 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

Salary negotiation is an important career skill. The better you can negotiate with your employer how much you earn, the more financially rewarding your career will be at any stage. Employees who are good salary negotiators frequently out-ea their colleagues with similar skills and experience significantly, simply because they can negotiate their pay skillfully.

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It sounds like such a simple thing, doesn't it? But it's one of those many things in life that is much easier to say than it is to do. Look at things from the other person's point of view. When it comes to building trust and rapport, this principle is one of the top seven that we have found to be important. Let me illustrate what it means with an example. The other day, I got a phone call from my aunt and uncle. They live out West and I have always enjoyed a close relationship with them. They were calling to confirm details for their upcoming visit to Michigan this weekend.r

Published · 1,657 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

We’ve all got preconceived ideas about what relationships “should be” like or how teams “ought to” work. These expectations can cause us a lot of grief as relationship after relationship seems to fall short. But as we’ve seen, conflicts at work are a given. There are no perfect teams, managers, or employees, and it’s not possible to have a job where people never frustrate of disappoint you.

Published · 2,402 views · Rated 3.2/5 from 5 votes

Social media is the big buzz. We’ve been swept up in the currents of Linkedin, Facebook, and Twitter. We can allow the currents to carry us to new connections, new business , and massive reach and visibility. Or we can get caught in the riptides that pull our reputation under. The biggest mistake in social media is not realizing that social media is a presentation. That’s right. Success in social media follows the rules of effective presentation skills. Mistake One: No purpose or focus. What is your objective? Why are you using social media? What are you trying to accomplish?

Published · 1,522 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

The man who gives little with a smile gives more than the man who gives much with a frown. –Jewish Proverb When it comes to building trust and rapport, this principle is one of the top seven that we have found to be important. Let me illustrate what it means with an example.

Published · 3,098 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 3 votes

Our minds think in pictures. I'll prove it. Think about the BEST moment of your life thus far. Maybe it's the day you were hired into your current job. Maybe it's the day you graduated from college. Maybe it's the first time you held a newbo child. Maybe it was the day you got married. Maybe it was the day you got divorced (I'm not judging).

Published · 1,595 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Sometimes in conversation, you’ll run out of things to say. This is especially true if you’re kind of shy or you’re not a very good conversationalist. At certain points, you just won’t know what to say next. But you can overcome this situation quickly enough. There are a few effective techniques that you can employ in a conversation when you run out of things to say, in order to handle the situation effectively. Here they are. 1. Think about your day.

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Do you want to advance in your career? Then impressing your boss is one of the essential things you have to do. And this is something you can do effortlessly if you just follow a few basic steps. Your boss plays a key role in your career advancement. Above anybody else, they are the person who has the most important say when there is a possibility for you to receive a promotion, bonus, award etc.

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Good communication is not rocket science. It’s also not ‘painting by numbers’ where people have to learn a set of techniques. It’s not enough to learn some skills. The key to good communication is not just having good communication skills, but also having self-awareness. Why do you react and ...

Published · 14,557 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 2 votes

Just the other day someone made the statement that child sexual abuse is normal because it happens so oft en. Maybe it’s only a problem because we (society) make such a big deal out of it. Well, that was quite a challenge that turned quickly into a heated discussion. I can understand though, ...

Published · 2,459 views

People derive a sense of self and identity through interactions with others who give recognition and approval to a person's abilities and accomplishments. How does that work? As children grow up, they are dependant on 'significant others' for forming of a positive sense of self. Children need ...

Published · 1,948 views

Coping strategies are designed to keep the person alive and functioning. Some people call these strategies defense mechanisms or avoidance - some might even go as far as talking about denial. That's all very judgmental and I personally prefer coping strategies. Why you may ask? Because these ...

Published · 1,948 views

You've emerged from a divorce and you feel like you're ready to date again. Dating is a fun and exciting part of life and can help with the post-divorce healing process. Your new dating experiences don't have to be a nightmare even if you're a bit out of practice. Think about the following ideas and use them to start enjoying life again. Remember that dating is meant to be fun, not a chore.

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I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor. However, they need ...

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How many times have you sat through a seemingly unending presentation that used PowerPoint, wishing you were in the dentist’s chair getting a root canal instead? Many people in the working world where PowerPoint is used seem to have forgotten one of the golden rules of making a good presentation: Don’t make yourself obsolete!

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It is well know that only about 7% of communication is expressed in language. 93% of all communication is expressed in body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. That means the better you are able to ‘read’ the other person’s non-verbal expressions, the better you will be at connecting ...

Published · 1,491 views

Friends are an important part of a person's life. So it's worth asking ourselves: How many friends can a person realistically have? Thus, we can set the right expectations for ourselves in building a social life and attain the best results. On social media website like Facebook, you can have thousands of so called 'friends'. But are those friends real? Can you have that many friends in real life?

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The results you get with people and the awesomeness of your social life are to a large extent a result of your ability to calibrate socially. This is why developing your social calibration is one of the most beneficial personal development steps you could ever make. Social calibration is your ability to adapt your behavior to the social situation you're in and the person you're interacting with, in order to create a positive experience for all parties involved.

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Self-Respect is a product of being granted rights like anybody else. Self-respect is understood here as the ability to perceive oneself as a morally responsible individual whose actions are respected by others. Recognition through the granting of rights by legal systems is thus the second form ...

Published · 3,030 views

Self-confidence is one of these terms that are used by many people in many different ways without there being a clear agreement or understanding what exactly it means. In fact, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth are often used interchangeably. I am going to use the concept ...

Published · 1,648 views

Self-esteem is a product of recognition through solidarity. Let me explain what that means. Within a community of peers people experience the expression of appreciation, acknowledge, valuing, and support as a sign of solidarity. When we are recognised in the above ways by people who share our ...

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Moving on from surviving sexual abuse to thriving in life can often be an up-hill battle of epic proportions. People, who have been sexually abused and did not get immediately support, care, and love from their parents, inevitably struggle with developing trust. This struggle is not a ...

Published · 2,185 views

One thing that’s plain as day to me right now is that your social life contributes immensely to your overall life satisfaction. Sometimes even more than your career or dating life. This is why it’s important to have a rich, active social life. If you’re in a situation where you only have a couple of friends, if any, and those friends mostly bore you, ignore you or make fun of you, if you rarely have meaningful interactions with others and you spend most of your free time alone, then you need not only to enhance your social life, but to fix.

Published · 3,284 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

The workplace can be a pretty competitive place in today's world. If you want to get ahead in your career, then it's important to get noticed at work. This is the first imperative requirement of career advancement. The reason many employees don't advance and they spend years in the same boring and repetitive jobs, wasting their potential, is to a large degree their inability to get noticed at work. You can be the smartest and most competent employee in the company, but if barely anybody knows who you are and is aware of the great work you're doing, it doesn't really matter.

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It has been clear for some time that childhood experiences become part of a child's neurological physiology and over time, through re-enforcement and repetition form aspects of its personality structure. The task of recovery is to stop the process of repetition and re-enforcement of the unwanted ...

Published · 2,572 views

Some years ago I watched Oprah as she interviewed a guy who wrote a book that would once and for all explain to women how to be in order for their man/partner to love her forever...I have to admit, I logged in to Amazon and got the book. Why wouldn't you want to miss out on such valuable ...

Published · 995 views

One of my favourite sayings is "It's never too late to have a happy childhood". This is particularly true for survivors of sexual abuse. When you are a survivor and you struggle to function in daily life, you missed out on the vital ingredients to a happy childhood: emotional support, care, ...

Published · 1,666 views

Improving your relationship often requires doing things differently and gathering new information. In this article we've highlighted some useful ideas and advice for people who want to create meaningful and lasting change in their relationships.

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The NZ Herald reported in September 2007 that the New Zealand government spends yearly NZ$30 million over a million prescriptions for antidepressants. Conce s are raised about the high prescription rate that includes antidepressants prescribed to adolescents and children as young as one year ...

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Successful people can be hard to talk to. Nevertheless, it's particularly important to know how to talk to successful people, because the value these people can have in your life is much bigger than the value of your average Joe. And you can learn this. Most individuals are intimidated by successful people and they don't know how to talk to them. Which is why they often avoid them, thus missing great opportunities in their life. I want to show you based on my coaching experience how to talk to successful people successfully and clear this issue once and for all.

Published · 3,800 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

I often liken the exhilarating state of 'falling in love' to Guy Fawkes Night. It's a night with lots of excitement created by fire-works of such beauty that take your breath away and make your heart beat faster. The instant attraction to another person causes reason and rhyme to vanish whilst ...

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I have found in my research that often survivors do not know that their problems are related to experiences of sexual abuse in their past. In fact, in my research six of the ten participants did not link their psychiatric disturbances to their history of sexual abuse. They were completely ...

Published · 1,305 views

One characteristic of human societies is that people come together and seek closeness with others in the face of traumatic experiences. "Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in ...

Published · 1,693 views

The scene is familiar. Two or more amazing people who are dedicated to furthering the wonderful work our nonprofit conducts are actively in conflict. It starts with a perceived slight, follows with silent anger, gradually simmers into personal jabs and eventually escalates into outright confrontation. Well-meaning leaders and managers find themselves mediating a situation they do not have the tools to resolve. The conflict goes unresolved, ebbing and flowing between moderate calm and outright explosion.

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From very early on in life, we seek someone we can attach to, who understands us, cares for us, loves us, and gives us a sense of safety and belonging. We look to attach to someone who will be there when times turn rough, and most importantly, who shares our dreams for a happy future, for a ...

Published · 2,834 views

Wouldn't it be great if we were born with an inbuilt manual that shows us how to relate successfully to others? Although everyone has the capability to relate successfully to others, often people react in ways that are distorted by past experiences. The culprits are usually one or all of the ...

Published · 2,568 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do. Everyone has the capability to relate successfully to others. Often that capability is heavily burdened by "stuff" that distorts people's thinking, beliefs, and values. ...

Published · 1,187 views

In the spring, I attended my sister’s medical school graduation. The commencement speaker, a Holocaust survivor and great philanthropist, shared his incredible life story and some of the key lessons he learned along the way. At the close of his presentation, he revealed a recipe for prosperity. “Prosperity,” he said, “is the result of four things: patience, perseverance, positivity, and productivity. And that’s it.”

Published · 1,200 views

During my last Science of Mind class we had to give yet another presentation from the podium. One of my classmates approached the platform and before he began he said, "I really need the support of everybody here." He disclose that this would be difficult for him. As I watched him, he appeared ...

Published · 2,420 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

I have often been asked by colleagues why I use neuro-biological instead of psychological concepts to explain developmental processes. My answer is always that neuro-biological concepts can be 'seen' on MRI scans and we become more understanding of how our brain works. I find that exciting. So ...

Published · 1,536 views

My clients frequently ask me how they can find happiness. While there are many elements that create happiness, I've noticed that a basic characteristic of people who are happy is healthy self-awareness.

Published · 1,860 views

There is a secret that many people don't tell you about success and that is within your reach this very moment. You get to achieve it whenever you decide to start taking action. There are three important concepts that can guide you toward great achievements: following your dreams, taking action ...There is a secret that many people don't tell you about success and that is within your reach this very moment. You get to achieve it whenever you decide to start taking action.

Published · 1,658 views

When you ask the questio "What is Love?" people will give you many different explanations. Indeed, love is many things for many people. I would like to present the concept of 'Consumate Love' following the 'Triangular Theory of Love' developed by Robert Ste berg. (Find out more about Ste berg ...

Published · 1,832 views

The journey of recovery from sexual abuse can often be a journey of pain that over time may become hopeful longing and turns towards the end into delight. Even though most survivors understand recovery as a lifelong process, a significant milestone is usually achieved when coping without ...

Published · 1,241 views

Research * has shown that survivors of sexual abuse often feel support and understanding is missing when they disclose having been abused. Research has also shown that survivors who are not getting appropriate support when they disclose having been abused are more prone to develop post traumatic ...

Published · 4,329 views

Do you find the way some people do things to be very illogical with no orderly process in place? Do you find you are totally frustrated when people lack focus and never finish their projects or they are always late? Are you at a loss to understand why people do not just quit procrastinating, ...

Published · 2,903 views

There are many areas in life where it can be noticed that men and women respond differently to a number of situations, recent research with brain imaging has shown that each gender responds differently to stress. The main difference is that stress caused changes in men's rights prefrontal ...

Published · 2,316 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Don't let anyone tell you different: The labels we apply to people have a direct impact on the way we interact with them, and the way we interact with them determines how they react to us and what results we get with them. When people label others as ‘toxic,’ they may disempower themselves and ...

Published · 2,804 views

One of my favorite Dolly Parton quotes is: “Figure out who you are, then do that for the rest of your life”. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Yet there is a growing body of writing and research on helping people to do exactly that…to get clear about their values and their strengths and ...

Published · 1,190 views

Do you ever wonder why there is so much conflict in life? Have you ever thought about how nice it would be to get along with everyone? Do you wish people understood how you think and feel about things? Do you often feel you are walking to the beat of a different drummer? The answer is in our ...

Published · 1,113 views

Just as mobbing that has not been intercepted can spill into the community and follow an individual via rumors, it can travel even faster via cyberspace. In 2000, when I presented mobbing programs for a county here in Iowa, one of the county supervisors shared that this was happening at school ...

Published · 2,094 views

I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor. However, they need ...

Published · 1,116 views

If you want to be more productive and increase sales, try listening. It's a fact that people just don't listen well. In this culture we have a saying. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." Think about a typical business meeting. Step into any meeting and you will see members vying for air time. ...

Published · 2,050 views

In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don’t say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not resolved ...

Published · 1,195 views

I often get questions from people who are genuinely trying to figure out what to do in a relationship or in life. While I can give people examples of what other people have done to be successful, it is difficult to give people advice on what they should do. Each person will have their own way of arriving at a solution and a coach is there to help them arrive at whatever end they see fit. I encourage people to think in terms of finding their own solutions to tough issues. If you don't know what to do, spend some time thinking about the following points: 1. What would I name this issue?r

Published · 1,592 views

You're prepared, polished, and ready to go. You step up to the podium and "bang, bang, bang" - you get shot down by a hostile audience. How do you keep your cool, and take back control? When I started out as a consultant, I remember landing my first large account. My assignment was to design ...

Published · 3,855 views

Less is More Fill in the blank: I wish I had more _________________. What comes to mind: money? time? energy? stuff? As I write these words I am on Day 18 of a 21 day cleanse. Nine of those days were limited to fruit smoothies, vegetable juice, and an occasional herbal tea (or less). One of the fundamental concepts of this cleanse is by giving your body less to digest, it gives more energy for healing. Personally, I have found a sense of freedom in this self-imposed limitation. There can be tremendous power in less. Less is more.

Published · 2,024 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

“We only hear half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, believe only half of that and remember only half of that.” Mignon McLaughli How well do you listen? As a training professional, human resource specialist, manager, spouse, parent or friend you have numerous opportunities ...

Published · 2,662 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Listening: The Foundation of All Communicatio "Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice." Shakespearen"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." Doug Larso As a trainer, consultant, manager of training or HR specialist you are ...

Published · 2,530 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Listening is the #1 communication skill for leadership, selling, customer service, and even romance! The problem is, most of us don’t listen very well. We’re not trained to listen and we don’t even realize that listening is a skill. People have lost jobs, customers, employees, and relationships ...

Published · 1,516 views

Most human suffering can be explained with the breakdown of relationships between people. Conflicts between countries, childhood abuse, domestic violence, bullying, human trafficking, and work-place conflicts all have in common that on some level the relationships between people lacked ...

Published · 926 views

Most human suffering can be explained with the breakdown of relationships between people. Conflicts between countries, childhood abuse, domestic violence, bullying, human trafficking, and work-place conflicts all have in common that on some level the relationships between people lacked ...

Published · 1,459 views

Last week there was another terrorist-type school shooting. In the aftermath, it didn't take long to figure out that someone who fell between the cracks perpetrated this tragedy. This happens to be a recurring theme regardless of the venue of such an incident. Years ago I taught an at-risk ...

Published · 1,415 views

It is a well known fact, that relationships lose their fire after a while. The romantic moments, the butterflies in the stomach, the obsessive thinking about the love object, all those exciting feelings that make you feel alive slowly dim down with time. Like a campfire that runs out of wood. ...

Published · 1,485 views

It is a well known fact, that relationships lose their fire after a while. The romantic moments, the butterflies in the stomach, the obsessive thinking about the love object, all those exciting feelings that make you feel alive slowly dim down with time. Like a campfire that runs out of wood. ...

Published · 1,784 views

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." (Perl S. Buck) Perl S. Buck has written these wise words long ...

Published · 4,223 views

You may look good on paper or in your suit, but if you're looking to nail your big interview, looks aren't everything. How you sound is often more important. But many job seekers let careless speech habits sink their chances of landing that plum job. Here are six common language mistakes and ...

Published · 1,865 views

Speech Language Pathology – What is That? By the time the Masters Degree in Communicative Disorders has been awarded to a student from an accredited university, that individual has been educated to provide a broad spectrum of services to those who experience cognitive, voice, speech, language, ...

Published · 1,390 views

Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with a well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do come with an inbuilt capability to form deep, lasting, successful relationships. How then does it happen that so many relationships run into problems? Reports about ...

Published · 1,056 views

Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with a well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do come with an inbuilt capability to form deep, lasting, successful relationships. How then does it happen that so many relationships run into problems? Reports about ...

Published · 1,153 views

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." (Perl S. Buck)Perl S. Buck has written these wise words long before ...

Published · 1,106 views

Ten Steps to Persuasive Sales Presentations By Diane DiResta Selling is the life blood of any business and we are all in sales. Are your presentations as professional and persuasive as they could be? Follow these simple guidelines to make your sales presentations sparkle. 1. Start with a ...

Published · 2,677 views

Goal setting is a very useful and interesting process. By spending some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and writing your thoughts down, you give direction to your life. Having gone through the process of determining how you want you future to be and recording your goals, you ...

Published · 1,758 views

Fourteen years ago while teaching Leadership Development Training at the University of Houston I became aware of the fact that no matter which leadership schools we sent our leaders the results seemed to be the same. The leaders had a significant impact on about twenty-five percent of the ...

Published · 1,407 views

Trust is like a fine crystal goblet. Once we have this goblet in our possession we are responsible for its care, regardless of how we received it, regardless of whether we thought we wanted it. Sometimes someone hands us this goblet as a gift. Trust bestowed in this manner is an act of faith, ...

Published · 1,743 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

In my second year in the insurance business I set a couple of records while going for the coveted President's ring. At one point my closing ratio was over 90%. It seemed almost effortless at times. I felt at one with my work, my prospects, and my clients. I was extremely focused and energized, but felt at the same time a sense of calm and control. I was on a roll, on fire, unstoppable, kicking butt and taking names, I was... IN THE ZONE

Published · 1,960 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

I wish I knew what the teacher was thinking when she decided to have one of her students stand in front of the room and then asked each of his classmates to tell him what they did not like about him. I wonder what her intent was when she then had each student vote as to whether he should be in ...

Published · 1,467 views

Are you letting fear and inaction stop your success? Too often we doubt ourselves or allow others to make us believe we are unable or unworthy of achieving success. To be successful, you must adopt a positive mindset and you must Believe to Achieve! Most entrepreneurs are plagued by three ...

Published · 1,227 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

My clients frequently ask me how to find happiness. Over the years I've noticed that a common characteristic of people who are happy is self-awareness. Self-awareness is a deep understanding of who we are. It literally impacts how we treat ourselves and others and what kind of life we live. Let me give you a real world example to illustrate what I'm talking about.

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In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don’t say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not ...

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When people are caught up in their own little worlds they not only miss a great deal they also inadvertently can do damage. What is wrong with our children these days? As Shakespeare wrote, “The fault is not in our stars but in ourselves.” Watch what the adults do and say and you will see ...

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Most people admire the calm and collected speaker or performer who can step up to the podium or stage appearing relaxed and self-assured. Interestingly, while many people can appear at ease exte ally, they may be feeling quite anxious internally. In fact, those who have high levels of ...

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I was in a seminar today on networking strategies. It was produced by a very reputable organization. The invited speaker, an author and self-proclaimed expert in the area of networking, was sharing his strategies. He was funny and witty and quick on his feet. He used the word "stalking" as a strategy a few too many times for my comfort zone and proclaimed the value of picking where you go to church specifically to "stalk" your potential clients.

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More and more individuals are reporting increased stress in their lives. For many, this is because they are putting undue pressures on themselves and are working longer hours. After a certain time, different for everyone, the effort that you are putting into your work becomes counter-productive. ...More and more individuals are reporting increased stress in their lives. For many, this is because they are putting undue pressures on themselves and are working longer hours. After a certain time, different for everyone, the effort that you are putting into your work becomes counter-productive.

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Inspiration to Publication – A Ghostly Experience by D. K. Christi Ghost Orchid, published by L & L Dreamspell in September 2009, is a case study in taking an inspiration to publication. Authors often respond to the question: Where do you get your inspiration? There are a plethora of answers; but in the case of Ghost Orchid, one flower was all it took; one rare and endangered ghost orchid in an exquisite location.

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One afte oon, the small knob on my dashboard, which controls the direction of air flow in my car, fell off while I was driving. At the end of my trip, I searched for the item, but it was nowhere to be found. I searched two other times with a flashlight, and it was all to no avail. Fortunately, the position of the knob when it fell off was set for air to be circulated high and low. In other words, when I put on the car heater, warm air currents were directed at my head and at my feet.

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The suspect had no history of violence, officials said. "He was a timid boy, who was having difficulty integrating, but he never displayed any violent attitudes," a local education official said. The “suspect” was a fifteen year old boy who shot up a classroom at his school, killing three ...

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Do you remember the Lone Ranger? Everywhere he went he would leave something behind. No, it wasn't Tonto. It was a silver bullet. He would be riding off into the sunset and invariably someone would ask, "Who was that masked man?" The response always went something like, "I don't know, but he left this silver bullet. He must be a good guy!" The Lone Ranger was a master marketer. Everywhere he went he had people talking about him in a positive way when he wasn't around. This is one of your objectives in personal marketing.

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Personal Marketing: Own The Mountain, by Doug Grady Do you remember the movie Gorillas in the Mist? It's the story of Dian Fossey, a Kentucky woman who dedicates herself to saving the African Mountain gorilla from illegal poaching and likely extinction. But this is not about her. This is about you. And two men behind the movie. And owning your own mountain.

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Mobbing is group bullying. It is ganging up on someone using the tactics of rumor, innuendo, discrediting, isolating, intimidating, and above all, making it look as if the targeted person is responsible. As is typical of many abusive situations, the perpetrators maintain that the victim ...

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The Cost Of Persistence, by Doug Grady per·sist·ence (noun): firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. “I will persist until I succeed.” -Og Mandino “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” -Calvin Coolidge "Energy and persistence conquer all things." -Ben Franklin

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The Turnaround, by Doug Grady If you would have told me 19 months ago that by now I would be an author, have a youtube hit and be in the best shape of my life I don't know that I would have believed you. Less than two years ago I was heavily in debt, full of self-doubt, and struggling through a mid-life crisis on several levels. Today my first book, The Ripple Effect is complete, High Achievers 3.0 has been launched, and I am preparing for the most exciting performance of my life. "Live with passion!" -Tony Robbins

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"Sing to me of the wonde in small achievementsnwhen happiness is a torn kitendangling in the branches of life." From the poem "Sing To Me" 1997 Gail Pursell Elliottnn One of my dearest friends uses the term 'wonderful' to describe everything from food to actions to people and always with ...

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I design soft-skills training programs that help leaders create happier workplaces and I've noticed a recurring pattern over the years: Many people think that you can change behaviors ove ight. They talk earnestly with me about team building or effective communication and expect that a one-day training will resolve everything. I’ve even had leaders and HR managers ask me to change how their employees communicate in one hour.

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by Jeff Davidson To-do lists have been with us since the dawn of humankind. Everyone keeps one in some form or another. However, some people are more effective at maintaining a to-do list and executing the items on the list. Here are a number of dos and don’ts gleaned over the years from my observations on what makes a successful career professional. Worth Doing in Maintaining a To-Do Listr

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by Jeff Davidson The research is in, and homo sapiens are definitely more adept at tackling big challenges earlier in the day than later. Peak energy and alertness for most people is at 8 a.m. This is not to say you can’t be effective handling large tasks later in the day, and sometimes you have no choice but to do so. The long-term odds of success, however, are with you when you make a note of handling the day’s biggest challenge as early as you can, perhaps as the very first thing.

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Gratitude, by Doug Grady Recently I went on my second trip to Wellington, AL. My church organized the trip to help out those whose lives were devastated by the storms that ravaged the southeast earlier this year. It is unlikely it would have been on my radar without my first ever mission trip. Today I reflected on the ripple effect from Ironmen in Ecuador. “Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.” -Melody Beattie

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Ok, so everywhere you look,Someone is beating the importance of setting goals to death. Everyone by now knows that they are supposed to set goals, What no one seems to know or want to talk about is, How to set a goal. and what to do with it once you have decided on it. I am going to assume, that you want to improve something about your life. And am going to write with that assumption. what is the first step you should take?r

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Hello, Let me begin by Introducing myself, My name is Jeff Halligan I am passionate about my family and friends and enjoy spending time with them as well as codeing websites, exploring the darker side of my artistic nature ( I write dark poetry, build halloween props, enjoy gothic music and culture,and am an avid fan of vampires[ Non-Twilight versions] in general. and my favorite Chuck Norris Joke : "Chuck Norris is so tough that when his Daughter lost her virginity...... He went and got it back!!"r

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"I have my List, Now what?" Ok, so if you are reading this, I can only assume that you have read part 1. If not do so now, http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-to-be-happier-with-your-business-whatever-that-is Still here? or just finished with the first part? So here we are sitting with this long list of what makes us.. well, US. Now how do we put this into a brand for our business? First thing to do is figure out what things on your list are the most important, put a #1 next to them. Then do the next most important and mark with #2 and so forth.r

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In the early 19th century, when boxing was quite popular, one who wished to challenge a boxer would throw his hat into the ring. This was probably necessitated by the crowds and noise at such events; you'd be missed if you simply tried to shout out a challenge or push your way through the crowd and into the ring. Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt used it in 1912: "My hat's in the ring", he said, meaning that he had entered the presidential race. www.phrases.org.ukrnr

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By Jeff Davidson Each day when you compose your to-do list, and begin merrily proceeding down the list, do you take into account what is likely to occur in the course of a day? No matter how well we compose our to-do lists, and how productive we are in handling the products and tasks on the list, within the course of a day, invariably, unexpected obligations and other developments arise that are going to throw us off.

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Effective team building is about bringing people together, helping employees collaborate and encouraging positive workplace behaviors such as empathy. We tend to focus our team building efforts on groups rather than indivicuals but I've noticed over time that many organizations could build stronger teams more easily if each person took individual responsibility. Team building is much more producive if we look at the I. Here are five examples that illustrate how you (or the I) can influence team building in your organization. You Believe Team Building Doesn't Really Work

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I remember several years ago calling on a prospect in Califo ia. When I introduced myself over the phone, he asked, “Are you the guy who sings and plays the banjo?” My reputation preceded me, how cool is that? I smiled and said, “Yes, that’s me!” He said, “Uh, yeah, I saw you last year, I don’t think so.” and hung up. It felt like I got punched in the stomach. The Naysayer is everywhere, just waiting to say “NAY!” to your hopes, your dreams and your future. When other people disapprove of our best efforts we may feel deflated at best and at times downright debilitated.

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The Storm, by Doug Grady So often we want to be rescued from the storm. We don’t realize it is the storm that rescues us. -Unknown* These words hit me like a thunder bolt when I heard them. I was in the midst of my own personal storm. It included, among other elements, intense financial pressures, overwhelming feelings of failure, and habits and tendencies which were making things much worse. I felt defeated and completely out of control. I wanted to be rescued.

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by Jeff Davidson Everyone I know from college age on up maintains some form of a to-do list. And why not? Without writing down the things we want or need to complete, it is awfully hard to proceed throughout the day. Yet, in recent years, the unrelenting burden of handling an ever-growing array of items that populate our to-do list is wearing on career professionals everywhere.

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I thought I was just tired. I was reading a book with fine print and found myself pulling it further away to make out the words. My vision was better than 20/20- this must be a mistake. I delayed the inevitable for over 2 1/2 years. Last weekend I faced the facts and bought my first pair of reading glasses. "It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision." -Helen Keller What are the factors causing us to resist simple shifts that can significantly improve the quality of our lives? Here are some that have popped up for me:

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by Jeff Davidson You are a competent professional, you consistently get a lot done, and you are adept at composing and executing the items on your to-do list. Yet, there is a simple technique that can help you be even more effective that you might not have ever considered. This technique involves alte ating both large and small tasks on your to-do list for the natural energy that engenders.

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A couple of days ago I jokingly posted on my facebook status, "I was going to blog today about writer's block but I couldn't come up with anything." And then I started writing this. It took forever.

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When I talk about diversity training with leaders they sometimes look at me like I'm talking about seeing a ghost. For many leaders and organizations diversity is a bit like seeing an apparition, it kind of creeps them out and they're not sure it's real. I tend to look at diversity training as a tool leaders can use to build stronger workplaces. Here's a few tips to get you started on using diversity to

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I design and facilitate leadership training and have a unique opportunity to examine many kinds of leadership styles and approaches with many smart people. Over the years I've noticed a type of leadership that creates all kinds of workplace distress. It's an approach where a leader is so caught up in his or her own insecurities and limitations that he or she makes everyone else's life nearly impossible. This creates workplaces where people are unhappy and morale is low.

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When people say what's on their mind, their hope and intent is to be heard and understood. Yet more often than you might think, they don't even know what they're talking about. That's because words are symbols for experience, and most of what people say initially is just the tip of the iceberg relative to what's really going on. When people start talking, the first things you hear represent only the surface of a person's thoughts, rather than the deep structure experience, motivations, values and opinions that drive those thoughts.

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People targeted by a mobbing process have been thrown from what they believed was an orderly world into a state of chaos in which many former points of reference are no longer valid. This confusion may prompt them to question all points of reference, including the ones deep inside of them. A person's sense of personal dignity can be compromised unless steps are taken to protect and preserve that which the individual values most.

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A solid friendship is born when you can help the other person in need, and the can do the same for you. Learn to be a friend in need and you will strengthen your relationships. You don’t know how strong a friendship really is until it is tested. The classic test a friendship encounters is related to the need for help. Essentially, when a person needs help from another one, depending on how this later person will react, their friendship will either become stronger or weaker.

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One of the most important educational activities parents and teachers can put into action is building self-esteem in children. Their happiness and success as adults will be immensely influenced by this factor. Adults that struggle with low-self esteem have often developed self-esteem problems in childhood. During that period, their fragile personality and lack of critical thinking made them highly suggestible and forming a negative self-image was easy.

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If you’re shy and you’ve tried multiple ways to change without success, then you may be wondering if it’s even possible to overcome shyness. This articles answers that question. Shyness is very common. Some people manage to beat their shyness and gain more social confidence, but many seem to not be able to overcome it. In this later situation, they often conclude that shyness cannot be beaten and they simply give up.

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Unemployment and job security have created some disturbing behaviors in today’s workplaces. Supervisors Intimidating employees and verbally bullying them has become more prevalent as well as coworkers behaving subversively to protect their jobs from others viewed as a threat to their continued employment. Behavioral risk management is the realm in which we address workplace violence. Not addressing incivility and disrespectful behavior in the workplace especially in times such as these is risky business.

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In today’s workplace of information and communication overload, we correspond with many people through many media each day. This article provides tips for communicating with others in a prompt and easy fashion, leading to more control over your time and communications.

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With some people at work, you click from the beginning. They get you and you get them. Whatever you say, they know what you mean. Then the emails pile up. The ease with which we can write and send an email has led to difficulty for many in managing the flow of it. People have less time to deal with emails as the sheer volume increases. Getting anything more than the most basic connection with others through email is next to impossible. But here’s how to keep from losing that ‘click’ while using this technological tool.

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Your friendships influence the fulfillment in your life more than most other factors. One key thing that can help you build friendships effectively is to understand right how long this takes. It is common for people to wonder: how long does it take to form a friendship? We want to understand the dynamics of friendships so we can build them successfully, enhance our social lives and know when to cut our losses. The Ingredients of Friendship

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There are many contributing factors to the development of shyness. Most timid people become that way in childhood or adolescence, which is why it’s reasonable to assume that family and peer groups have a major influence on this. Of all the people we interact with as children, parents play a major role in the formation of our personality. For shy people, their parents play a significant part in their becoming shy as well. It’s worth understanding how this works. A Positive Intention with a Bad Outcome

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It's a tough economy, no doubt about it. And though the pace of business is accelerating, some businesses are taking longer to make buying decisions. When the people talking with vendors and potential vendors are hesitant, they could be conce ed about making a wrong move and losing their job over it. Yet change happens, and prospects do decide to make positive changes and buy. So it's useful for any person in sales to understand the process by which positive change does happen.

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Do you want to ace interviews and get the job of your dreams? Then you need to study and master the art and science of making a good impression at a job interview. There is nothing as powerful at a job interview as making a good impression. It is the single most important factor in making a recruiter or employer decide if you pass the interview or not. Your professional competencies often come second.

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In our increasingly connected world, we need each other to get things done, to make worthwhile things happen, and to make our lives better and easier. The problem is that we tend to connect when it's easy, and dissociate when it's not. Want to click with more people more of the time? Here's something easy and effective. Just try blending.

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Telephone. Tell a phone. There are times when I get the feeling I’m talking to a phone instead of over the phone. Incoming telemarketing calls don’t allow for meaningful connections. And by all reports, cold calls are another example of missed opportunities. Yet there’s no question that you can build connection with people over the phone. Some people are better at connecting through the phone than others. When some people call, you can’t wait for the call to be done. Yet when you talk with others, time just disappears!

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Sometimes, the best thing you can do with a friendship is to end it. Unfortunately, most toxic friendships are not easy to end, and you need the proper tools to fruitfully do so. Every once in a while you may realize that you’re in a toxic relationships with another person. The relationship is dishonest, manipulative, anxiety producing and unfulfilling. In this case, it’s time to consider ending it.

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If you’re a guy and you’ve been hanging around a girl you like quite a lot, but nothing sexual happened between you, chances are you’re in the friend zone. Here’s how to escape it. The friend zone is an emerging concept in to world of dating and male-female encounters. This term is used to describe a psychological dynamic where a man is seen by a woman as a friend, and it’s hard for her to see him in a different, sexual way.

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Riddle me this: What technique works as well with a negative person at work as it does with a two year old at home? Answer: The Polarity Pattern! What happens when you tell a two-year-old to go to bed when the older kids are still up, or you tell a negative coworker that things ‘aren’t so bad?’ The conversation descends along these lines. You ask a person to do something. You ask nicely. You are reasonable. And then they say, “I don’t want to (do what you want them to). To which you reply, “But you have to do it.” And it’s straight downhill from there.

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Having no friends whatsoever can be tough. But things don’t have to be this way. You can meet new people and make friends no matter who you are and how you are. The best thing about a social life is that it can be build from scratch. You could have absolutely no friends at this point and end up having lots of friends and a rich social life in a few months from now. All you need to do is implement a good social strategy.

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Do you have an upcoming interview and you want to make the best impression possible? Than you need to learn and master the skills of interview success. Knowing how to impress in a job interview is crucial in getting a job. You can be a highly competent professional and yet, without knowing how to project this and astonish at interviews, you won’t get the job.

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Once a friendship is built, it often doesn’t keep going just like that. You need to keep it going by keeping your friends close and interacting with them on a continual basis. A friendship is like a flower. It needs sun, water and various nutritive substances in order to grow and blossom. Many friendships go down the drain simply because the two or more individuals involved in it don’t take the time to interact often enough.

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Many times, dinner is more than a moment during the day to eat; it is also a moment of social interaction. Thus, it is a good idea to also make the best out of it socially. Many of us have dinner in social settings. We don’t eat alone; we eat with other people at the table: our spouse, our family, our friends or acquaintances. In other words, dinner time is frequently social time as well.

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One of the best things you can do in conversations is to feel good and help the other person or persons feel good as well. Enjoyable dialogue is the key to someone’s heart. As a communication coach, people often disclose to me how they find most conversation boring and they only have it out of politeness. They want to interact with people who have more zest, more wit and to have fun banter.

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A lot of people are shy and this proves to be an impediment in making friends. But it doesn’t have to be this way. The fact is you can make friends despite being shy. If you’re shy, making conversation with new people and building friendships can be problematic. Sometimes, it may seem like you’ll never be able to have the social life you want, and this only makes you clingy and depended on your current friends.

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A first date is an important step in the process of interacting romantically with another person. And good conversation is the fundamental ingredient to a good date. You may have been led to believe that the key to dating success is to look good or be famous or have lots of money. It is true that these factors do play a role, but it is a minute one in comparison with the role of good conversation skills.

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Sometimes, a friendship loses its fire and it’s no longer the way it once used to be. Have no fear; there are effective methods to revive a friendship and make it like new again. There are plenty of reasons why a friendship can lose some of its strength, although it’s a fulfilling friendship between two compatible individuals: one of you moves to another town, one of you gets married, one of you becomes very busy with work, etc.

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Technology, in the form of phones and computers, has become a kind of ubiquitous front door for customers to use any time and any place where they have the desire for a product or service. At least in theory, technology gives customers a more personal help desk than they are likely to find face to face in the busy rush of modern business. If you answer the phone as part of your organization’s service to others, that service is on the line.

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Take a moment right now to think of a few foods you particularly disliked when you were younger but now enjoy as an adult. For me there was brussel sprouts, broccoli, spinach and eggplant. As a child I was required to eat these foods because they were “good for me.” I certainly would not have eaten them if I did not have to. I now choose to eat them and I enjoy them (except for eggplant- I still dislike eggplant). As far as I know brussel sprouts have not changed much in the last 30 years; what changed was my perspective.

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One of the most valuable aspects of taking on and completing the 30-day challenge is becoming aware of your tendencies- realizing where and how you tend to get stopped. Let me share with you one of mine. I tend to have an “all or nothing” mentality. If I can’t do something full on, why bother? In March of 2010 I experienced a hip injury while training for a half marathon. I allowed this to become an excuse for not exercising altogether. Not to mentio I did nothing to get my injury treated. This led to 4 months of a sedentary lifestyle and a downward spiral in other areas of my life.

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Making friends in another country can be a challenge, especially if you don’t know anybody at first. This article details the most effective ways to pull it off smoothly. Today, it’s very common to end up studying, working, living or traveling in another country. If at first you don’t know anybody else there, meeting new people and making new friends can seem like a challenge.

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You know who they are: Vague customers that can’t make up their minds, who seem to have all day to take up your time; pushy customers whose demands can’t be met, who angrily demand ‘What? It’s not ready yet?’ Whining customers for whom nothing is right, who can find something wrong with everything in sight! But you don’t have to let them drive you to distraction! What’s needed for your mission of service excellence is direction! Here, then, are the maps and keys to keep you heading down the road of service.

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One Tough Mudder, by Doug Grady

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One in 10 Americans has a loss of hearing. It can begin as early as age 20. Hearing declines significantly after age 40. The baseline or threshold for normal hearing is 0 decibels. A decibel (dB) is a measure of sound pressure level. The higher the decibel, the louder the noise. The pain threshold is 130 decibels. Continued exposure to noises 85 db and above can lead to hearing loss. A subway is recorded at 95-100 dB. If you live in a noisy city or work around loud machinery your hearing may be at risk.

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Human beings have a profound need for belonging, whether you call it company, family, community or tribe. We want to and need to click or connect with others. Social networks have become the new tribes. Now belonging is as easy as registering and filling out your profile, and making or finding a few contacts or ‘friends.’ Staying connected is much easier, too. Twitter even brings it into real time. Opinions are everywhere, and people love to share them, so in your social network connections you can easily find people to discuss just about anything. And you can learn from the brightest minds.

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Shy people often struggle with achieving success in the workplace. This frequently happens because they choose bad careers for them. Fortunately, it can be solved or avoided. Due to the fact that they’re not very comfortable dealing with people, shy individuals need to pay special attention to the careers they choose. A shy person can be highly productive and successful, but they need to pick their career field wisely.

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Shyness is a very common psychological occurrence. Oddly enough, recent studies are pointing out that our society is slowly but surely getting shyer, despite the fact methods of interacting with others are now more available than ever. Psychologists are giving a lot of attention to the study shyness, as this trait can have significant negative consequences in a person’s life: from lack of meaningful social interactions, to lost career opportunities, to loneliness and isolation.

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Low self-esteem is a psychological condition that influences all sides of a person’s life: their career, relationships, health, sex life and social life. The vast majority of its consequences are ugly. When a person has low self-esteem, it means they’re making an unwarrantedly negative evaluation of themselves and they develop strong self-focused negative feelings. From there on, it’s all downhill in terms if impact. A low level of self-esteem has a wide range of negative effects. Here are some of the noteworthy ones: 1. Missed Career Opportunities

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Shyness as a psychological condition is bad enough, but chronic shyness is even worse. In order to deal with it effectively, you’ll need to explore a whole new territory. If you are chronically shy, then you’re past the phase of feeling somewhat uneasy when you’re talking with new people. Individuals with chronic shyness don’t feel comfortable in almost any social situation and they avoid strangers like the plague.

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For the past three decades, I’ve been observing the way people behave in personal and business relationships, with the intent of finding the meaningful patterns of what works and doesn’t work to bring about positive change. Here are the top ten lessons I’ve learned about how to click with people. #1 Make Useful Assumptionsr Assumptions determine behavior. Behavior produces experiences. Experiences reinforce initial assumptions. Whatever you assume to be true, you act like it’s true and look for proof. This is the loop of self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Improving your social life is one of the best moves you can make. The more effective you are at making friends and building relationships, the more fulfilled you will be. Today’s world offers us many opportunities to meet new people and make friends. You simply need to discover the best ones and put them into practice. As you do so, your social life and not only will flourish. Here are 10 ways to makes friends that have been tried and tested, and they work great for nearly everybody, no matter their age, profession, education or economic status:

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One of the best effects you can have on a girl is to get her laughing. And there are specific tips and tricks you can use to get a girl laughing and having lots of fun with you. It’s often said that humor is one of the most attractive qualities a man can have. But if you’re a guy who doesn’t seem to have a very good sense of humor, this may appear like a big disadvantage for you.

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No question about it: You can’t please all the people all the time! And because you’re a professional, it’s understandable that your negative experiences with customers are a source of conce for you. Yet customer stress is a leading cause of employee stress in both sales and service! The question is, what can you do to strengthen and protect yourself from stress while satisfying your challenging customers and winning their loyalty?

Published · 2,308 views

Overcoming shyness is a very important personal development step to make. When you make it, you see almost every area of your live improve. So you might as well make it effectively. Shyness is a common psychological trait for two reasons. The first is that the way many of us get educated and conditioned socially encourages us to become highly self-conscious and feel shy.

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When you’re in school, there are lots of opportunities to meet new people and make friends. You just need to know what these opportunities are and how to use them. The best thing about school is that it’s a social environment. It may have the primary purpose of educating young individuals, but it also creates a context where many social interactions happen and there are lots of possibilities to meet other students.

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You know the old adage about letting sleeping dogs lie? It doesn’t apply to people with grudges, who may actually become more difficult from stewing in their angry juices about whatever sleight or injury they’ve pinned on you.

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Do you feel that girls ignore you and it’s hard to get them to notice you? If you want to get this handled and have more success with girls, it’s important to know why it’s happening. Some guys seem to get all the attention from girls, and some seem to get ignored completely. If you believe you’re in the second group, this is definitely something you want to change.

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I was a shy, introverted, insecure kid. My parents pushed academics and music. This included "gifted" classes, choir, band, and piano lessons- all worthwhile pursuits, but they did not do much for my geek status. I wanted to be popular, confident, and comfortable in social settings. In eighth grade I joined the wrestling team. One of the most popular kids in school, Keith Hamrick, was a wrestler and a friend. I did my best to learn from his confidence. I excelled in wrestling and this helped tremendously.

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Have you ever had one of those days when you hit all the green lights? When progress seemed effortless? When you were simply unstoppable? Sometimes it helps to slow down.

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Long ago a sales manager said to me, “Sometimes you have to fall on your sword.” He was referring to saying the words, “I’m sorry; My error; My apology.” For many, and I’m one who had to learn, these words are difficult. But I quickly realized he was right. Forgiveness comes far more quickly when you are the one to apologize whether on interviews, selling or in your personal relationships. The concept is universal. - On interviews you might misinterpret a question - A product or service you sell may not live up to expectationsr

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“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.” –Cavett Robert Emotions are powerful. They can infuse passion, purpose, and power into our daily activities or they can be the precursor to a sense of futility and failure, causing us to give up. As you strive to keep your New Year’s resolutions, you may experience an emotional roller coaster. The ride may not always be pleasant- here are some thoughts on staying on track whether you feel like it or not. “Do it anyway” –My Dad

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This is a tough principle to swallow for most hard-core business and salespeople. However, what if you recognized this is the path to attracting your preferred prospects and clients – would you then give it some consideration? Have you ever dealt with someone who was less than an ideal customer? The interaction is far from pleasant. Many associates and I have on occasion fired such clients. Life is far too short to deal with unkind people.

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