Choosing Your Response to a Tragedy

This was a tough weekend. If you’re not emotionally drained, chances are you know someone who is. Our hearts and thoughts are with the families and communities experiencing the most unthinkable loss and grief. When a tragedy occurs, your heart can ache searching for a way to return to a sense of normalcy and peace. You may even be wondering if you have any right to want peace when mothers and fathers are only beginning to deal with so much pain.

Even as we begin grasping for ways to wrap our mind around what happened and talk about what we can do to stop things like this from happening again, I would like to share a few suggestions about choosing your response to a tragedy.

Choose Your News

We are all connected. The emotions we feel impact those around us and feed into a collective mood. You feel it in a room when anger erupts just as you feel elation in a community when a team wins a championship. The internet has connected us to real time events as a global community. Unfortunately, reports are shared on the TV and internet with the intent to evoke a highly charged emotional response. Why? Because it creates a loyal viewing audience.

There are better ways to stay informed than the 24/7 news cycle. If you’re highly sensitive and empathetic like me, you’re best bet it to turn your TV off. Choose ways to stay informed that do not overwhelm you with shock, horror, and sadness. Just the facts please. When you think about it, how much of the information initially rushed out on Friday has since been proven wrong as the facts begin to surface?

Protect yourself. Step away from the sensationalism. Say not to fast information and be patient for the facts.

Respect Those Directly Involved

There are some things we just don’t really need to know and can never understand without direct involvement. There are appropriate times and spaces to ask difficult questions. Allow the people who are directly involved with a tragedy the respect and dignity of dealing with the news in their own private way. Your interest in knowing does not override their right to process what is actually directly impacting their world in their own way. Choose to give them some space and peace to breathe and process what’s happening without your intrusion.

This Tragedy Is Not About You

This is not about you. This is not about you. This tragedy is not directly about you. It’s not about your need to understand, or your need to empathize or your need to collectively grieve, or your need to vilify or your need to idolize. It is definitely not about your need to express your divisive opinions or political views. This is not about you. Keep your ego and your vanity in check. Breathe stretch shake and get yourself together. Breathe. Calm yourself. Choose to remember that this is not about you.

Consider Your Source

Where do you draw hope? How do you get grounded and centered? What brings you joy? List your reasons to feel gratitude even in this moment. How can you resonate with peace? Love is the most powerful source there is. Peace and normalcy are created by returning to your highest source and purpose.

Return to your source and look, listen, feel the guidance and direction being offered to you there. Tap into your faith foundation you will find powerful ways to respond authentically and effectively to the situation. Let go of how you “should” feel. Choose to be okay with exactly how you are feeling just long enough to acknowledge it and allow yourself to focus on how you would like to feel.

Love “Actionally”

Yes, I know that ‘actionally’ is not a word but hopefully you get my point. What guidance are you getting from your source? Take powerful purposeful action immediately. Do something loving. Be loving. Express love. Show love. Respond with love. Speak love. Share love. Promote love. Remember love. Act with love. Love harder.

You cannot focus on love and hate at the same time. You cannot stay angry when you are being truly loving. Choose love over the destructive negative responses. Ask yourself what can I do in this moment that would demonstrate love and kindness for me and others?

Do something simple. Perhaps do something completely unrelated to the news. It’s okay to be distracted to gain some emotional distance and grounding. Maybe go offline and do something meaningful and loving with the people around you.

The best, most effective and powerful solutions come from love, joy, hope, peace, kindness, truth, gratitude, and goodness. The more you share your own energy of love and light into the atmosphere, the more you are doing what you can do to prevent the next tragedy from happening. Even when the most horrific nonsense occurs you can still choose to respond with love, hope, peace, and yes joy. Choose to Spread LOVE.