Christian Friendship: Four Myths About Loneliness

Are you struggling with how to overcome loneliness by searching for Christian friendship? Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." (NLT) It isn't good to be alone, but it is also unnecessary when it is because you believe these four myths about loneliness:

1. If I reach out to people and am rejected, I can't stand it. It isn't fun or comfortable to be rejected, but it won't kill you. You can survive it. Watch what you tell yourself about the rejection. If you tell yourself that you can't stand it, it will be worse than if you tell yourself it isn't a big deal.
2. If someone doesn't want to be my friend, there is something wrong with me. Not true. People have busy lives and some are already booked up with what they have and don't have time to kindle new friendships. For you to have a new friendship, both of you have to have a need for a new friend. Keep trying, you will find your match. And remember, you don't want to be friends with everyone you meet either and that doesn't mean there is something wrong with that person.
3. I have to wait for someone to initiate a relationship. This approach is a sure guarantee to keep you lonely for longer. If you want anything badly enough, you have to take the initiative. Find a support group, get involved in a small group or study at church, ask someone to go out for coffee or to have a play date with your kids, volunteer, or make the first call.
4. I'm doomed because I have bad social skills. People who are good conversationalists and extroverted have a much easier time making friends than others. However, if your social skills aren't great, you can do a number of things: go online and read articles about how to initiate conversations, see a counselor to help you overcome your fears, or pick smaller activities and initiate conversations one on one rather than in a large group.

God created us with a need to be in relationships with him and other people. We need to reach out to connect with others and are responsible for taking the steps necessary to do it. The first step is to let go of these four myths about loneliness that keep you stuck. You can be a loneliness overcomer!