Christian Relationship Help: 5 Questions to Find Out If You Are In A Difficult Relationship
Written by Karla Downing
Are you looking for Christian relationship help to determine whether or not you are in a difficult relationship?
Answer the following five questions to find out if your relationship with your child, parent, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker, or other relative is difficult.
1. Do you spend a considerable amount of time thinking about this relationship and wishing it were different?
In difficult relationships, we spend a lot of time thinking about the problems, trying to figure out how to solve the problems and how to convince the other person that the problems truly need to change. We want the relationship to be different but cannot find a way to make it be different and as a result, feel stuck and frustrated.
2. Do you struggle with figuring out how God wants you to treat this person?
One of the signs of a difficult relationship is that we struggle with how to treat the other person in a way that is supported by our understanding of Scripture. Many of the beliefs we have as Christians are challenged by the relationship dynamics and we get confused about how to love, tolerate, confront, submit, respect, and forgive.
3. Do you have painful and conflicting emotions about this person and relationship?
Intimate and familial relationships have the ability to bring up deep emotions in us. In difficult relationships, problems don't get resolved and the negative emotions pile up. The pain can be overwhelming, intense, and unbearable.
4. Do you find yourself saying the same thing over and over again to this person hoping that this time the light will come on?
Difficult people don't strive to understand what we are communicating and they are very resistant to change. We try over and over to communicate in various ways to get cooperation, but it usually doesn't work. If you aren't able to speak openly to this person, you will have these conversations in your head where you rehearse what you would like to say and you imagine the person understanding and telling you they finally get it.
5. Do you struggle with how to handle the problems that this person is causing for themselves and you and the relationship?
Difficult people do all kinds of things that have consequences. You will be challenged as to whether you should help, set boundaries, confront, or overlook. Your life will be affected by these problems in many areas. You will also struggle with the way your difficult loved one is affected by his/her own choices and wonder whether you should help him/her to avoid the negative effects.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, your relationship is difficult. Of course, if you answered yes to all five, it is very difficult! If you are seeking Christian relationship help, don't stop with reading this article. You can find help to deal with the problems you are facing.
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