Christian Relationship Help: Actions Matter More Than Words In Your Difficult Relationship

This Christian relationship help will show you that actions matter more than words in your difficult relationship. Difficult relationships are with difficult people and difficult people tend to say one thing but do something else. It is confusing when someone's actions don't match the words, but for some reason, people tend to believe the words instead of the actions. This is a mistake.

Proverbs 20:11 says, "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right" (NIV). When words don't match the person's actions, then it is the actions that are reflecting what is really in the heart. It is important to use disce
ment so you will be basing your perceptions and responses on the truth rather than lies. Here is why you need to recognize that actions matter more than words:

Difficult people aren't able to be honest about their needs and problems.This means that their words won't reflect what is really going on in their hearts. They have trouble asking directly for what they need. They may tell you something is fine, but then act upset. They may say they don't have any problems, but then act in ways that show they do. They may say they are honest, but then act dishonestly. They may say they won't do something and then do it.

Difficult people are manipulative and want to trick you.They are purposefully manipulative to get you to do what they want. These people often use their words to lull you into going along with what they are doing. They appease, blame, divert, twist, lie, and deny in order to get you to act a certain way.

Difficult people don't want to change. They don't want to change anything about themselves. In order to do this, they need to make sure you don't change what you are doing. If you stop enabling, excusing, denying, and accepting, you will make different choices and the difficult person will also have to make changes. Their words will say whatever they need to say to keep you doing the same thing.

God recognizes that the heart directs the actions and that actions matter more than words. You will be able to make better choices in your difficult relationships, if you also remember that truth.