Christian Relationship Help: Why Relationships With Narcissists Are Difficult

This Christian relationship help will enable you to understand why relationships with narcissists are difficult. Good relationships have balance. There is give and take that attempts to meet the needs of both people (Philippians 2:4). In contrast, relationships with narcissists focus around meeting the needs of the narcissist. Here are the reasons why the relationship isn't easy:
They are unable to look at themselves to see weaknesses. Healthy relationships involve two healthy people. One criteria of a healthy person is the ability to self-analyze and self-evaluate. The narcissist is unable to look at personal flaws because of the deep shame that is triggered.
They need to feel "one up" on you at all times. There will be competition for power in the relationship. You simply cannot have power or control in the relationship because the narcissist doesn't really accept that you are a separate individual with rights in the relationship.
They will not be empathic toward you or their children. Narcissists do not have the ability to put themselves into the shoes of other people and imagine how they feel. Instead, everything is viewed from the perspective of the narcissist as the center of everything.

They will be unconce
ed with how they affect you and the children. These relationships are painful; yet there will be no conce
for how you or the children are hurt. In fact, any expression of hurt will be met with disdain and viewed as weakness.
They will not be able to give unconditional love and approval. Narcissists are extremely critical. They have little tolerance for weakness and mistakes in others. They don't love with unconditional love because they don't know what love is. Love and approval will be conditional upon whether or not you do what the narcissist wants.
God has clearly called us to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Parents are supposed to provide for and love their children and encourage them rather than discourage them (Ephesians 6:4). Narcissists discourage their children by stirring up anger and hurt. Both husbands and wives are to love and respect each other (Ephesians 5:22-33); yet, narcissism in a marriage completely neglects the needs of one partner. Christians are to submit to each other (Ephesians 5:21); yet, narcissists don't give and take in their relationships. Given all these characteristics, it is easy to understand why a relationship with a narcissist is extremely difficult.