Christians And Divorce - How To Enjoy Being Alone

Christians divorce as much as non-Christians. Regardless of whether or not you wanted your divorce, one of the most difficult things to deal with is being alone. Here are some things you can do to cope better with your "alone time."

View this as an opportunity to develop a "new you." There are parts of yourself that you have lost in your marriage because you blended your life with your spouse. Re-energize the parts of you that weren't fully developed due to circumstances that defined and limited you in the marriage. You have options open to you now that weren't available to you before. Some of these are:

1. Finding new friendships, social groups, support groups and activities. You can be involved in things that you didn't have time for before and which your spouse wasn't interested in. Rediscover your passions and interests.

2. Finding a new vocation. Go back to college to finish a degree you started or start on a new degree. This might have to be at a slow pace, depending on your circumstances, but time will pass anyway. In five or ten years, would you like to have that degree or not?

3. Looking at going back to work as an adventure. You can develop parts of yourself that you haven't utilized. You can feel good about your achievements and accomplishments. We are empowered when we feel good about what we do and have a purpose. Challenge yourself to do something you haven't tried before.

4. Dating is an option when you are ready and the possibility of a great relationship can be in your future. View this as a chance to figure out what kind of person you would like to spend time with. Keep the focus on whether you like someone and not on whether they like you.

Don't look at "alone time" as negative. There was a time when you coveted time by yourself and wanted more of it. The reason you dread alone time when divorced is that you focus on the fact that you have it because of the divorce. View it positively instead as an opportunity to enjoy your life. Christians do divorce, but God isn't finished with you. He has a purpose for you and wants you to embrace it (Psalm 57:2). Now, there is time to discover it.