Tips For Singles On Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays

TIPS FOR SINGLES ON SURVIVING (AND ENJOYING) THE HOLIDAYS

Here you are, facing the holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?nn*how alone and lonely you feel
*excuses you can give family members as to why you can't come this yea
*what friends may be available to spend those long days withn*how another year has passed and you are (still) singlen*how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connectedn*how you will handle the office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend
*going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it alln*hiding out, alone, in your own home.

If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your nfeelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and nendure it alone, you won't need to do too much planning. However, if you wish nto experience at least a measure of the "peace and joy" associated with this ntime of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you nto participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU.

Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, nimages and Hallmark verses depicting the "right" experiences and expressions nfor the season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there's nothing nwrong with being single. You have the same need and right to enjoy this nseason as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.
After you have done some serious reflection, consider the following list of
10 holiday tips designed especially for singles.

1. Don't make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday nseason. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; "do I nreally want to go out"? If so, make your next question something like; "does nit sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?" Or, "will I have nthe opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?"

2. Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the nholidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don't expect so much that you will feel nhurt or disappointed when things don't turn out just as you had imagined.
This will defeat all the positive feelings and experiences that you may have nalready gained.

3. Make sure you give thanks for all the blessings you do have in your life.
Focusing on what you don't have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a nprayer of hope for the things you would like to work for in the coming year.

4. Don't overbook or overstay a good amount of time with relatives/friends.
Sometimes a shorter stay works best and leaves you energy and space to get nback to your own home and decompress.

5. Look for ways to give to or do for others. Feeling useful and appreciated nwill provide a great boost to your holiday spirits. Check into volunteer nopportunities at local shelters and nursing homes or through any local church nor nonprofit group.

6. Don't plan to spend the entire holiday season with married /coupled family nand friends. Seek out other singles and singles groups/ activities where you ncan feel relaxed and able to share with folks you have more in common with at nthis time. Better yet, plan a get together with other singles for one of the nholidays. A festive potluck meal, tree trimming party or other holiday event nwould probably be much appreciated.

7. Do avoid using food, alcohol or drugs to cope with holiday stress. Nothing nis worse than the feelings that follow the use (or wrong use) of these nthings. This way of coping leads to depression, low self-esteem and a greater nsense of isolation and despair.

8. Do decorate your home with any and all things that make it feel more nfestive and fun for YOU. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up nwith. It does not have to be very costly or time consuming to begin your own ntraditions in your own place. Don't put off or deny yourself those happy nholiday expressions, as you wait for your significant other. Make your life nall it can be right now.

9. Consider emphasizing the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Go to a nconcert featuring religious holiday music or attend a church (or other) nservice, (even better with a friend).

10. Finally, going away to an exotic place may be just what you do need. Look ninto tour or vacation packages for singles. This may provide plenty of rest nand relaxation and help you meet new friends and develop new interests.

Whatever you decide to do for your holidays, have fun and enjoy them. Focus non taking care of yourself and doing what is right for you. This way you will nalso be giving your best to those around you. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman LCSW
Consum-mate.com
http://www.consum-mate.com
703-847-1768