Common Sense with a Spiritual Aspect On Divorce! Part 3

Ok so the answer to your marriage is a divorce! A divorce from what?
As strange as this question may sound I need you to analyze what it is you are actually divorcing. You see when you mention divorce the first thing that naturally springs to mind is “I am divorcing the other person” but are you? Before you answer this question or even if you have already done so in your mind consider this.

Are you divorcing the person, the commitment, the fidelity, the lack of freedom, the sharing of yourself or your possessions, your time sharing, your opinions, your together time, your sex life, your body, your heart, your soul, your mind, habits, your secrets, family, their family, your friends their friends, the chores, the mundane routines that are essential, even your bed (sounds strange) but many think that just because your married you have to sleep in the same bed… its not true, many couple have improved there sleeping patterns just by having separate beds. They can be in the same room or not. Make love then stay together or hop out into their own bed, have good nights sleep and it works for many couples this way.

So on that point will Divorce actually solve all of these issues or any that I have not mentioned in the long term?

I am asking these questions because I need you to be honest with your self and realise that a divorce will not cure your issues. What you need to do is work through your issues with each other or again involve a professional that can help you with them.

Its not till you live together as a married couple that you get to really experience each others emotions, mood swings and issues and unless you can over come them in this marriage then they will re present them selves again and again through out your life weather you like it or not, but why?

It’s a spiritual fact that we are here on this earth for just a very short time. During this time we here for one reason and one reason only and that is to remember who we truly are. The only way we can find out who we are is through relationships.
Relationships truly bring out the best and the worst in us all. They can make us or break us but it’s not really the individuals or the individual relationships as such its how we react to them and how we deal with our own emotions, logic and heart felt feelings.

In other words we need relationships as the most powerful form of “pushing our buttons” because it’s only when people “push our buttons” that the true character comes out without shame or disguise. That’s not to say you won’t feel shame afterwards or even want to disguise yourself and hide away depending on how you handled it at the time. None of us are perfect, we all need to learn valuable lessons continuously and build upon what we know already.

So if you can subscribe to why we are here and why we need testing relationships to make us stronger then maybe it will help you to realise that neither of you are actually right nor wrong, you are just indifferent and in need of greater understanding of what relationships are actually about. They are about you learning more about your selves than each other. But as we approach these obvious problems in a marriage it’s just become a natural instinct to blame the other and not take any responsibility for our own short comings.

When we take responsibility, when we own our own issues, when we become more considerate of others that’s when the magic can start. When we look at a relationship and ask… what can I do to enhance this relationship instead of asking what can I take out of this relationship. When you get to this level of understanding then many other things in your life will start to take on a much lighter shade of darkness. To quote a Michael Jackson song “The Man In The Mirror” he sings his lyrics asking us to look at our selves first and if we can admit to what we are doing wrong and change our selves first, then we can expect others to do the same but NOT before we do it from with in.

My topics here are to encourage my readers to think out side the box, look at things differently and to be honest with your selves so that you can become who you truly are in the spiritual sense. I am talking about who you are from the in side, not the person you show the world every day to survive your reality because these are two entirely different entities altogether. Once you realise this maybe it will become easier for you to take on board all that I write about which is as stated … “Common Sense with a Spiritual Aspect” that’s it for nowr
Part 4 Of 7 will be about what happens after the Divorce, I look forward to seeing you here again soon.

Feel free to look at my web site at www.bjacoaching.co.uk and look for the link in PINK called Products, Enjoy.

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