Dear Dr. Romance: I have lost the umph for even planning the wedding

Dear Dr. Romance:

I heard you on "How to Stay Happily Married" podcast. I am getting married in June to someone I know for 3 years and lived with. He is now deployed in the Army and has been since last May. This is my 3rd marriage and I feel like my eyes are wide open now and I know what I want. I was very excited in December when he came home and we got engaged. Now I have lost the umph for even planning the wedding. I just feel very undecided now. Can u help me ? I am very, very happy though with myself. I have experienced self discovery at age 40 and now I am so very happy. I guess I wonder if I will still be this happy when I get married because I was not here psychologically when he was here.

Dear Reader:

Everyone has doubts before marriage, and especially with such a long distance relationship. The Commuter Marriage gives you specific help with long distance and military relationships.

I'm so glad you have discovered yourself. I can guarantee you that your marriage will not be perfect, and it will take work. That is true of all marriages. But, if you and your fiance' can talk openly, work out problems together, and come to mutually agreeable decisions, you'll be fine.

Both of you have gone through a lot of change and growth this year. That's one of the benefits of being separated. You need to talk about that, and find out how he's changed, too. During the course of a long, happy marriage there will be many changes, also. Today you are creating patterns you will likely follow for many years. Learn to handle change and you'll be fine.

Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage will help you decide whether you and your partner are ready for marriage, and reading it will encourage you and get your energy back up for planning the wedding.

I have been married to a wonderful partner for more than 30 years, so I know that marriage is well worth what it takes to make it work. I wish you both all the best of luck, success and happiness.

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com