Article

Dear Dr Romance: I need a good self-help book

Written by Tina B. Tessina

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished Recently added
New ratings1,355 viewsSign in to rate

Dear Dr. Romance:

I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different therapists, which I ended, because it seemed to be prolonged pointless therapy, for the sake of therapy. I am left with frustration from the futility of these experiences. Since then, I made significant progress both in profession and family, not in spite of bad therapy. I can't find good therapists, but I have found good books. I have tried to get some therapists to help me follow the suggestions in the books but they have refused.I would appreciate it if you can suggest me a good self help book which would help me step-by-step to become free from my negative programming.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for your kindness. From what you write, I suggest my own book It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. It sounds like you have some attachment issues which keep expressing themselves with therapists. I'm a bit surprised that they didn't know how to deal with those issues if you brought them up. I think you'll find what you need in the book, and if you want to go deeper, try The Real 13th Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programswhich gives you six specific tools to modify your subconscious. You might also find some help in my article "Winning the War Within" which is on my website for free. Best of luck with this, and please let me know what you think.

It Ends With You 213th Step ebook

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com




Article author

About the Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta

February 6, 2025

Article

So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking

August 29, 2024

Article

Web-based swapping dating services can help you find a long-term swap relationship in the comfort of your home. These types of services can provide singles with information about like-minded people and help them get in touch with other couples. To use dating expertise, you need to register together. When registering to use the service, you need to provide more information as well as your contact information and interests. Maintaining your information conveniently will help yo

August 29, 2024

Article

The idea of making yourself more desirable by making yourself less available doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, Juliet would have plunged a premature dagger into the heart of her romance with Romeo if she hid in her room rather than go out on her balcony. The end of Sleepless in Seattle shifts from "awww" to "aw, no" if one of the two main characters skips the trip to the Empire State Building. As these examples from fiction show, making yourself

August 16, 2024