Dear Dr. Romance: I was controlling and verbally abusive

Dear Dr. Romance:

I'm a 32 yr old man who is lost when it comes to relationships. I just had a chance with a nice woman which I subconsciously messed up. I didn't accept her for who she was . I was controlling, verbally abusive, and not compassionate with her. The thing is I don't know why I did this. My mother was never really in relationship after she divorced my father. I would ask her different things about women but she would give me vague answers. I learned about women in the streets. I was taught that women will get over on you if they can. Also I was taught that if women were to respect me I had to control them. I don't wanna be like this though but it's ingrained in me. I don't have money for a psychologist but I need help -- where do I go?

Dear Reader:

You're right. Your belief system is toxic, and won't lead to successful relationships. Love is not about controlling the other person, it is about developing a partnership that works. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find therapy you can afford. "What is a Dysfunctional Relationship" will help you understand what is confusing about relationships, and my book, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will help you create a new model of relationship.

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com