Dear Dr. Romance: Should I say yes to him?
Written by Tina B. Tessina
Dear Dr. Romance:
My boyfriend of a month and a week was planing a surprise for my birthday (he was trying to keep it a secret.) well we got in to a fight 3 days ago and last night I took him back. He was talking to my bff on im and he told her I took him back and told her he was going to propose to me on my birthday to prove that he loves me, and he was stupid and told me he had a big
surprise for me. I didn't want to wait and he wouldn't tell me then he says that she knows so don't ask her.
I did and after about an half hour of begging her to tell me he got online and she told him I was mad cuz she wouldn't tell me. Well I figured it out and I asked her and she wouldn't tell me if I was right so I assumed I was and they were talking about it and he asked her to lie to me and say that's not what he was planing she ended up sending me that part saying damn it she knows please tell her no that's not it she said I'm not fond of lyin and he said please. Well I freaked out a little in a bad way. I told him if he is planing to do that to expect disappointment and she said that today he said he was going to ask me any way I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice? I mea
I love him but I don't know if I should be his wife after all we have only been dating for a month and a week. Can you help me?
Dear Reader:
Of course you're not ready to be married to someone you've only known for five weeks. Actually, I don't think you're ready right now to be anyone's wife. You need to grow up first. So does your boyfriend, and your friend doesn't sound helpful, either. Talking behind your boyfriend's back, guessing instead of asking, and throwing temper tantrums is not a very grownup way to communicate or to develop a healthy relationship. You both need to calm down, learn to talk about things rationally, and understand what a mature, healthy relationship is. "What is a Dysfunctional Relationship?" and "Stupid Cupid" will help you figure out what a healthy relationship is, and how to build one.. How To Be A Couple and Still Be Free 4th Edition will teach you how to communicate effectively, make plans and agreements that work, and solve problems together. That's what marriage is really about.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Article author
About the Author
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
A Look at Avoidant Attachment Styles and How They Work
The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta
February 6, 2025
Article
Do You Really Understand The Swinger Life-Style?
So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking
August 29, 2024
Article
The Advantages of a Web-Based Swinger Dating Service
Web-based swapping dating services can help you find a long-term swap relationship in the comfort of your home. These types of services can provide singles with information about like-minded people and help them get in touch with other couples. To use dating expertise, you need to register together. When registering to use the service, you need to provide more information as well as your contact information and interests. Maintaining your information conveniently will help yo
August 29, 2024
Article
Dr. Venus Nicolino: You Have To Make Yourself Available To Find Good Relationships
The idea of making yourself more desirable by making yourself less available doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, Juliet would have plunged a premature dagger into the heart of her romance with Romeo if she hid in her room rather than go out on her balcony. The end of Sleepless in Seattle shifts from "awww" to "aw, no" if one of the two main characters skips the trip to the Empire State Building. As these examples from fiction show, making yourself
August 16, 2024