Relationship Success: What is a REALationship?

What is a REALationship?

A REALationship is one in which you have openness, honesty, integrity, individuality, growth, passion, and intimacy. This begins with the relationship you have with yourself.

Start by answering the following:

• Do you know and live your life purpose?
• Do you know and live by your core values?
• Do you know the “deal-makers” and “deal-breakers” in
your life?

It is easy to march to the beat of other’s drums or perhaps to go along with the trends of the masses. Likewise, it is easy to be in denial, superficial, and distant.

If you truly desire deep, lasting and intimate relationships in your life, you have to start with yourself. Of course very few of us have had the know-how to do this.

Why?? In school we learned the three "R's": Reading, writing, and arithmetic. There is however, a forth "R", and it is the "R" of Relationships. For many people, there were few, if any, healthy relationship role models to follow. This left many of us with a void and no true model to follow or tools to utilize. Therefore, the "R" of Relationships is THE most important "R" because we all have to interact with others and have various levels of relationships throughout our lives. The conclusion is simple: It is of the utmost value for all of us to be well equipped with relationship skills. If we never took the time to learn these skills, how can we possibly expect to be successful in our relationships, and therefore, in our lives?

How do you do this?? Just as you build a house from the foundation up, so it is with relationships skills. You begin with the basic building blocks and foundational skills you need to live happy and fulfilling lives, and to have THE most intimate and lasting relationships possible.

Here is an example of some of the foundational elements:

• Discovering your Life Purpose and living it
• Developing and maintaining healthy boundaries
• Overcoming fear and doubt, and implementing an
empowering inner dialogue with your Higher Self
• Learning powerful communication strategies and techniques
• Embracing your sexuality and spirituality
• Discovering your core values and creating a path of
integrity for your life

The bottom-line is to discover:

• Who you really are: Your values, life purpose, life and
relationship vision
• What you really want: Your core relationship
"deal-makers and deal-breakers" and compatibility needs
• How to get it: Living your life vision, mission and
plan, and using powerful communication strategies

Here’s an exercise to get you started. Gather as many extra magazines and photographs as you can. Use only those that you are willing to part with. Spend some time going through the magazines and notice what you are most drawn to. Cut out all of those words, pictures and symbolisms. Then, get a large piece of mat board or poster board and begin to glue what you have cut out onto the board. Add additional words, symbolisms and color with markers, paint and crayons. Put a frame around it a hang it your living space.

• What themes do you see?
• What excites you the most?
• How closely aligned is what you’ve created to you
current life?

This exercise has been called many different things but I like to call it a Vision Map exercise. This vision map is often one of many tools that are used to help people get order and direction into their lives. Furthermore, it also serves as a method of beginning to distinguish your values and goals.

The goal of your REALationship commitment is to have an amazingly powerful relationship with yourself FIRST, then to create relationships that support and encourage your growth and development.

So start today, if you haven't already, to have REALationships in your life. Start with yourself and pass it on. It's time that we all learned the power of REALationships!