Don't be Right, be Effective! Part 3 in the Change My Life series

You are right does not necessarily mean the person arguing is wrong! It just means they see things from another perspective! Each person's context is different, because their parents, education, religious upbringing, and experiences are different. Along with their acceptance of social attitudes, political indoctrination, falsifications, etc. as well as both their and others' mistakes... So what seems right to one person will naturally seem wrong to another. It's natural for things to look different when the perspective is different! But it's not necessarily true that the other person is wrong. Change your life by understanding different just means different, not wrong. Saying another person is wrong brings up negative emotions. Such self sabotage takes away peace and joy from both of you. So rather see that their perspective is different from yours, which is entirely true. This truth eliminates negativity and improves the way you both feel. Is it a Diamond Ring, or a Gold Band? Suppose your partner is wearing a diamond ring. If you look only at the inside of their hand, saying it's a gold band is correct from that very narrow perspective. And diamond ring is also correct. Yet these descriptions disagree, which could create an argument. Being right from one perspective is always wrong from another - being wrong depends on context! Imagine she removes the ring and leaves it in the washroom. Later she realizes she's no longer wearing it. So you call the restaurant and they're honest and have found it. When they ask what sort of ring she lost, if you tell them a diamond ring, you get it back. If you say a gold band, you don't. Although gold band is right from your original perspective, it doesn't get your ring back! By reporting you've lost a diamond ring, you improve your chances. This perspective is a lot more effective and could change your life! Improve the Description Extra information describing it as 10 carat gold rather than 18 carat may be correct, yet useless for improving the description when lost. But describing it as a diamond ring rather than a gold band gives you more power. So 'knowledge is power' is not entirely accurate. Some knowledge will give you more power and some won't. The power in information varies, depending on the context it can change your life. Some distinctions are just self sabotage, others help you to be more effective. Don't Be Right, be Effective! Doing more with less is a good definition of effectiveness, yet insisting something is right tells you nothing about its effectiveness! From your original, very narrow, perspective, it was indeed a gold band, yet this description had no power. Your effectiveness was limited by your truth. The diamond ring description - which seemed wrong to start with - gave you extra power. The extra effectiveness came from what you did not know, from what initially seemed wrong. Such increases come at the end of your comfort zone. Your willingness to be uncomfortable, to look at what seems wrong is crucial. So be open-minded, get out of your comfort zone and listen to the other person's viewpoint. Once you fully understand their perspective, you can always go back to your original position. Leaving your original perspective is only temporary, yet could change your life. © Copyright worldwide Cris Baker, www.LifeStrategies.net All rights reserved. Republishing welcomed under Creative Commons noncommercial no derivatives license preserving all links intact, so please +1 and share this widely! Food for Thought "To be more effective, change your perspective." - unidentified author