Enzo's Top 5 Relationship Fix Tips

It is Friday afte
oon (UK time) and I am writing to you because I have something that I need to get off my chest.

People come to me for answers. They come to me to make a certain part of their lives perform in a way that makes them - Happy.

That is what I love to do; it is what makes me - Happy.

Watching someone go from helplessness to sheer determination and happiness is a transformation that always brings a tear to my eye.

Lately many people have come to me for relationship help.

I 'love' to help people with because it is so important to us. When you are happy in this area, you really do experience a different life and, well, I am good at coaching this area!

So with this in mind I feel that I have to arm you with the basics.

1) REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKEnA common issue people have in relationships is what I call Flat Lined. This is when you are more room mates than passionate love machines.

We can blame this on many outside influences like losing a job, having money troubles etc, but really we need to forget all that bull, and focus on what really changed.

To quickly do this you have got to ask yourself this question:
What was I like, or my partner like when we first met and how does that differ to now?

Hmm. A deep question hey? But one that reveals so many truths. Its obvious isn't it, you met this person and you fell in love with them. They talked, walked, acted, touched, looked a certain nway which communicated itself to you as 'WOW, I love this person'.

Each and every one of us needs a certain thing to happen in order for us to fall in love. That person did that. But if you have Flat Lined, then there is a strong possibility that they or you are not doing the things that you did when you first met.

You or they no longer are the person they fell in love with.

Not rocket science is it. They fell in love with the way you were, you no longer are that way, so that spark that you gave them has now gone. Cold, but simple.

2) KNOW YOUR PARTNERS LOVE SWITCH
What makes them feel loved?

Ask them! Ask them to go back when they felt unbelievably loved. What did that person do to make them feel that way? Was it the way they were touched, the way they were spoken to (words and ntone), was it what their partner looked like or did for them?

If your partner goes back to them moments and tells you exactly what it was that made them feel loved, you can get them straight back into that emotion and make sure that you are the one that ngives it to them.

It is also very useful to find your own love switch.

3) DON'T ACT LIKE YOUR FEARS
Do you know what's strange? People who are cheated on the most, act in a way that makes their partners cheat on them.

It is a viscous circle. This is the situatio
I see all the time - You have just come out of a relationship where your partner cheated on you, so you go into your next relationship being scared of it happening again. You get jealous of your new partner's text messages that come in late at night, why your new partner is late when they were supposed to meet you 20 minutes earlier, you show that you hate it when they talk about their ex lovers, you can't look at old photos, etc.

All this behaviour has a snowball effect that is only going to end in disaster.

Your new partner will either;
1) Leave you because they are sick of the lack of trust
2) Cheat on you because someone out there will give them the attention that you are starving them off
3) Feel suffocated and will hide things from you so you don't get upset

That last one is so common. If you hit the roof every time to you see your partner with a friend of the opposite sex to them, then they are simply going to meet them without telling you. Then one day when you find out, a huge trust argument will kick off.

All in all, what ever you focus on, will become your reality. If you focus on the things you don't want to happen, then quite often you act in a way that makes it happen.

4) MARK ITnThe Mark It principle works like this. Write on a piece of paper exactly what you want in a person. Their personality, there looks, their attitude towards certain things, etc. Once you have your perfect partner written down in front of you, you then mark your current partner out of 10 in each area.

This is also fun if you want to really fix your relationship because you can also ask your partner to do the same about you. n

If you have a relationship where you can be yourself and be open then this is not a problem. It is merely a way of making your great relationship, even better and understanding each other njust that bit more.

If you are not sure how to ask your partner to do this then say the following - 'Darling, I really want to make sure that I am giving you everything in this relationship and that it is all it can possibly be. So I have come up with a game........'

Make them feel that you want to take your love to the next level, not judge it.

5) THREATENING AND MOANING
This is another whopper.

'If you don't do this I will dump you' - 'Do that again and I will smack you one' - 'You always do that, it is so annoying' - etc etc etc.

These are just some of the things that I hear people (and used to myself) use in a relationship. These words not only chip away at your partner's confidence, but it also puts into their mind nthat this relationship is likely to end one day.

That is no way to base a relationship.

To blatantly categorize:

Women love to be excited, entertained, swept away and to have someone who looks after themselves and is confident!

Men love to have women that they get on with, make them laugh and also to look after themselves on the appearance side!

All these damaging sentences that so easily creep in do not help either sex achieve these common needs.

To sum all this up, the less rules you have and the more yourself you can be, the happier and healthier your relationships will be.

You are here to enjoy other humans, just remember that.