“Experiences From The Flow (23): The Ex Returns! Part 1.”

“After taking months to recover from a brutal heartbreak, out of nowhere, the Ex returns. She hands me a belated Christmas gift (a small stuffed toy), wraps her arms around me, buries her head into my shoulder and says, ‘I love you.’nnUncomfortably, I accepted her gift and returned her embrace – ALL THE WHILE THINKING OF THE OTHER WOMAN HIDING IN MY BEDROOM!”nn“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”nnBy Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright April 2008nn(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)nn*Below is the twenty-third installment in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.nn- Happy New Year? -nnIt was December 28, 2007, just three days before New Year’s Eve. I was in my bedroom with Nueng, my live-in lover and the only Thai woman proven trustworthy during my two year stay in Thailand.nnRecently, my life had made a positive 360 degree turn. After a string of unsuccessful and costly relationships, I was now in a loving and mutually beneficial one. My days were filled with love, friendship, smiles, fun, excitement, and intimacy - in short, life “sans paranoia, deceit, and disappointment”.nnFeeling content, all I could think of was that the New Year would be nothing like the last one. 2008 was going to be “My Year” - the year that I would advance professionally and grow closer to Nueng. Yes, I was really stoked about the life I envisioned living in the coming year.nn(But all things must come to an end.)nnI forgot about the spare house key I kept amongst the shoes in a shoe rack outside the front door. The Ex didn’t. She used it to quietly enter my townhouse to “surprise” me with her return.nn“Happy Freakin’ New Year,” I thought to myself.nn- Prelude -nnSo much had happened in the last five months. My Lao girlfriend, the woman I had fallen so much in love, with broke my heart.nnShe went on a visa run and eventually never came back.nnAfter weeks of excuses (“mother sick, weather too bad to travel, thief stole my money, house roof damaged from rain, etc.”), I found out the truth: she was at a beach resort with another man.n nHow did I find out the truth?nnHer cell phone.nnYou see, immediately prior to making her monthly visa run, her cell phone was malfunctioning (it could receive messages and phone calls, but couldn’t send them).nnIt was a new and rather expensive model. Since it was still under warranty, I suggested maintenance instead of a costly replacement. Besides, she was fond of it because she had finally mastered the art of accessing and using most of its features.nnIn order to keep connected during this visa run, I told her to put her SIM card into my phone and take it with her.nnI put my SIM card into an old phone that I kept for just these kinds of situations (theft, accident, or damage to our better phones, etc.).nnTwo days after she left, I picked up her phone from the repair shop. I put my SIM card into her phone, changed the language to English, and tested the repair job with an outgoing SMS. She replied with the usual “I miss you. Be home soon.” Trying to call her failed, but that was normal for calls to Laos from Thailand. Local calls to my friends were fine, so I was satisfied with the repairs.nnFeeling good about the girlfriend’s repaired phone, I charged it, and carried it around as though it was mine (temporarily).nnHer phone was a different brand than my phone and had different menus and shortcuts to the usual, daily tasks. So, for the next few days I began to learn how to quickly access and use most of her phone’s many features.nnPlaying with her phone, I soon realized that she had saved almost everything on her phone instead of onto her SIM card.nnThen I got curious…nn- Jackpot or Worst Fears? -nnThere I was, able to peek into her private life. It was like having the key to her diary. Maybe now I could finally gain some insight into our confusing relationship.nnSince we didn’t speak each other’s language very well, we lived in a chronic state of miscommunication. This was my chance to glean some inside information that could benefit our lives as a couple – kind of like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; or maybe a winning combination on a Vegas slot machine.nnOn the other hand, I could be opening Pandora’s Box. And unlike the classic story, if my worst fears were confirmed, hope wouldn’t be left in the box.nnResults? Verdict? Thumbs down.nnInstead of a jackpot, I found a well of ugliness.nnI couldn’t read most of the text messages because they were written in Thai. (She must have deleted all incriminating English messages.)nnBut a lot of the phone numbers were names in English – male names. In fact, the bulk of them were men from Singapore, Malaysia, Britain, America, and Australia.nnUh-oh. Here we go again. The more I investigated, the more I was getting the whole ugly story.nnI got some Thai friends to translate some of the incoming and outgoing messages. Yup, the Ex was stringing me and many other men along. nnJudging from the messages, some of the guys had it much worse than me. Some promised marriage. One man (a Thai) threatened suicide if she broke up with him.nnMany of them were still sending her money.nnImagine that. I was giving this girl a very high standard of living and she was still milking other men for more. Talk about a greedy bitch!nnOddly enough, I was only angry for a couple of minutes. I guess being a veteran of this kind of setup made recovery time shorter and shorter until finally, it’s almost instantaneous.nnSadly, the majority of relationships I’d had in Thailand ended up like this. It was inevitable. I let myself get caught up with women who were much too immature to take any man/woman relationship seriously.nnI’d been stubborn, refusing to accept the following axiom:nnContrary to popular belief, Thailand is only a temporary cure. Whether it be insecurity, loneliness, frustration, or mid-to-late-life crisis, “Thailand as a Permanent Panacea” is an illusion.nn (Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, November, 2007)nnOh well, what to do, what to do? nnI know. I’ll warn the other men. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’ll either call or text them and tell them what’s really going on.nn- Killing the Messenger -nnThe overwhelming majority of the men I contacted were tourists, only visiting Thailand for a few days to a couple weeks at a time.nnAfter hearing the truth, many went into immediate denial. They couldn’t believe that their sweet, little tee-rak was a liar and a cheat. Man, they were really under her magic spell. A few of them actually yelled obscenities at me, saying that I was the “f*ck!n home-wrecker”!nnHome-wrecker? What a crock.nnTHEY were the ones in the dark about the real deal, blissfully dreaming about the soon-to-be ex’s love from the armchairs of their foreign homes.nnI was the one in Thailand currently living with “their” woman.nnI was the one who was trying to free them from this conniving witch (albeit, an-oh-so-cute-and-sexy sorceress)!nnThe more seasoned Thai tourists simply shrugged it off and said that they weren’t surprised and thanked me for the information.nnOne of them, an American like myself, said, “Appreciate the low down, buddy. I guess it’s drop-kick time. I’ll shop for another one on my next trip. Oh yeah, I owe you a beer.”nnThese veterans of vacations in Thailand were extremely nonchalant about the whole affair. It was like I’d just told them that their favorite toothpaste was out of stock (no big deal, just a minor inconvenience).nnI wondered how long it would be until I was that jaded?nnOne of them even suggested a nice payback. He was to make a surprise visit at my place when she returned, but I declined. I’d be rid of her long before this British guy could make it over to Thailand.nnSince becoming a civilian, I shed my hardcore revenge persona. My personal philosophy now is that Life will compensate her for her actions more than I ever could. I just wanted to prevent her from inflicting more damage on other people.nnI simply told the other men the truth. It was up to them to continue their relationship or not. For me, I was bailing out – and fast.nn- Tying up Loose Ends -nnAfter contacting the foreigners, I packed up the girlfriend’s belongings and moved them into a spare bedroom. I removed all reminders of her existence from plain view. I announced to the Landlord and neighbors that she was not my girlfriend anymore. Luckily, they all liked me and said they would keep an eye out.nnThen I set out to make sure that “she knew that I knew.”nnUntil now, I was too busy to contact the guy she was having a holiday with at a beach resort half-way between Rangsit and Laos.nnHe was the Thai guy who threatened suicide (mentioned above).nnApparently, he was in his early twenties and working as a stock boy at an electrical hardware store in the Future Park Mall (translated: poor). He had saved up nearly a year’s worth of pay to take the girlfriend to the beach resort and propose marriage.nnI scanned her phone, selected all the messages he’d sent her (and her messages to him) AND SENT THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM TO HER.nnThen I sent the same messages, her messages to me, and my replies to her TO HIM.nnThey immediately panicked. First they turned off their phones for two days. Then they came up with a myriad of stories (lies) to try and cover up or justify their time together. None of the stories were remotely plausible. All were blatantly untrue.nnMy Thai friend got a hold of the man on his cell and proceeded to give him the riot act. My friend said (in Thai), “Are you proud of yourself now? You are with someone else’s wife. Can you trust her now? Do you really think she’ll change JUST FOR YOU? I have proof of many other men. Do you want their phone numbers?”nnBy now, the Thai man was beginning to wise up. He profusely apologized to me through my Thai friend. I said, “Mai bpen arai.” And I made it clear that I didn’t want her back.nnHe could have her (and her lying and cheating). Good riddance.nnI wished both of them a nice life and hung up.nnThat night, she began calling me and saying that she was sorry and didn’t love him. She was just worried that he might really kill himself (yeah, right). She bombarded my phone with SMS, missed calls, and MMS (multi-media files) professing her undying love for me.nnHow hypocritical can you get? She was sending these love messages to me while remaining at the beach resort with another man!nnI’d had enough. I told her to send her friend to pick up her belongings and that I hope she knows what she is throwing away (a solid future).nn(Say good-bye to your gravy train, honey.)nnShe sent me a last image. It was of her with her eyes closed. The beach breeze was blowing through her hair. Swaying Palm trees, sparkling blue water, and soft-looking sand filled the background. The message at the bottom of the photo was “Rak khun kon-deos (I love you, only you).”nnI deleted the image.nn- Time-released Heartache -nnAs expected, over the next few days I kept getting flash back memories of intimate and happy moments with the Ex. It was kind of a delayed reaction.nnAll my life, especially in the military, once I made a decision, I acted swiftly and surgically; not allowing myself to feel things until much later. The motto always was: “Do it now. Complete the mission. Then cry (or laugh) about it later.”nnIt was insidious. Eventually, I accepted it. I was actually heartbroken.nnAnd I cried for weeks.nn- Merry Freakin’ Christmas -nnAfter taking months to recover from the brutal heartbreak, out of nowhere, the Ex returns. She hands me a belated Christmas gift (a small stuffed toy), wraps her arms around me, buries her head into my shoulder and says, “I love you.”nnUncomfortably, I accepted her gift and returned her embrace – ALL THE WHILE THINKING OF THE OTHER WOMAN HIDING IN MY BEDROOM!nn(Continued in “Experiences from The Flow [24]: The Ex Returns! Part 2.”)nnYour Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,nnCarl “J.C.” PantejonnThailand, heartbreak, return, ex-girlfriend, cell phone, SMS, text, messages, girlfriend, surprise, lie, cheat, worst fears.nnNote: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, relationship advice, discovering unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, Universal Laws, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’: From Heartbreak to Happiness”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES...”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (4): LOST AND FOUND – Meant to Be?”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (5): “The Stray”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (6): “New Beginnings, Old Endings”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (9): New Girlfriend, New Life.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (10): Farangs and Asians – Polarized Views.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (16) - Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (19): Another Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (20): The Good Tilt - Enhancing your Compatible Relationship.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (21): Farang: It’s Songkran. Hide your wallet! Part 1.”nn“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (22): Farang: It’s Songkran. Hide your wallet! Part 2.”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path: Guardian Angels and Universal Laws.”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2): Trying too hard?”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (3): First, Be Effective.”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (4): Intend. Be Certain.”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (5): Why me or why not me? Your choice.”nn“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (6): Gratitude – What’s Your Perspective?”nn“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”nn“Remember Who You Are!”nn“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”n“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”nAnd much more!n n(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)nnEnjoy them, my friend.nnPantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com