***Failure - Opportunities In Disguise

Failure is one of those life experiences most of us would rather avoid. When we fail, we tend to connect the experience with intense self-judgement and inner criticism. The fear of failure is so strong, we often become hesitant to focus on moving forward with our dreams. We would rather not try then to risk failure.

Failure is really an expected component in the process of change. Failure only means that you do not yet have your desired outcome. However, failure is often so difficult because it triggers limiting beliefs that we already hold about ourselves. Some of those beliefs can include:

I’m not good enough to have what I want.n(unlovable, undeserving, unworthy)
Related life issue of love.

I’m can’t have what I want n(different, an outsider, alone, nothing, should not be on earth at all).
Related life issue of belonging and acceptance.

I’m not enough.
I am basically a bad person and this is the reason for my failure.n(defective, flawed, imperfect, bad, fat, guilty, imperfect, failure)
Related life issue of esteem.

I’m powerless to effect change. n(hopeless, useless, defeated)
Related life issue of survival, self, empowerment, perseverance.

My needs and desires will not ever be met.n(vulnerable, helpless, afraid)
Related life issue of security.

Failure in itself isn’t so bad, it’s the belief that gets triggered - along with the associated uncomfortable emotions - that we wish to avoid. It’s often painful to face a belief rising to the surface that suggests we are unworthy or unacceptable. Somewhere in our lifetimes, the word failure became synonymous with the word “loser.” There’s often great embarrassment and even shame for grownups to have this experience of failure. Yet as children we repeatedly allowed ourselves to fail. Without failure none of us would have learned how to walk, talk, write, or even ride a bicycle. As adults, we shy away from new experiences to avoid risking failure.

The Truth About Failurennn“Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.”
Carl Jung (1875-1961 Swiss Psychiatrist)

Failure is not bad. Actually, it’s probably the only way to become successful. The obstacles, setbacks, and stumbling blocks are an anticipated aspect of any jou
ey. Failure is really just feedback telling you to adjust your plan or to try a new approach. It is essential to success. While it’s certainly a giant leap to welcome failure with open arms, perhaps you can begin with acceptance that failure is a natural aspect of every ultimately successful jou
ey.

The only true failure is when you concede defeat and absolutely give up. Failure is when you beat yourself up and learn nothing from your experience. Confucius is quoted as saying, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” If you learn to embrace your failures along with your successes, learning from each, you will grow and achieve. The only people who do not fail are those who fail to try.

A little known formula for success is that success happens because of failure. Legend has it that Thomas Edison attempted 10,000 different filaments before successfully creating the electric light bulb. When asked if he ever felt discouraged with so many failures, he answered none of his attempts were failures. They were each successful experiments in finding what didn't work!

Henry Ford allegedly went bankrupt 3 times before he created a car that worked. Colonel Sanders was 65 years old when he tried to sell his chicken recipe. He took this recipe to over 1000 restaurants before he found a buyer. Walt Disney spoke with over 297 banks before he was able to attain a loan for his successful dream. Even if these stories are draped in a bit of exaggeration, they brilliantly illustrate that most success is the product of many failed attempts.

The Lesson of FailurenSuccessful people fail more often than unsuccessful people. In fact, they fail over and over and over again. It’s the failure’s themselves that provide learning experiences. Wisdom and enlightenment to succeed are born from the wisdom obtained from unsuccessful attempts. Successful people don’t give up because they’ve failed. Instead they sit back and view these experiences as learning opportunities.

To be successful in the long-run, redefine failure. Let yourself see it as an experience that provides information. You can collect that information and then utilize it to adjust your action plan. If something did not work, you can try another approach.

You are capable, ultimately, of overcoming any obstacle, any problem, or any situation connected with your goal. Why else would you have a particular dream unless it was yours to manifest? Even though you encounter a failure, learn to see the situation as temporary. You really can have what you want in life. You can learn to encourage and support yourself through the good times and especially the bad times. Love that you are overcoming fear and attempting something new -- no matter what the current outcome. Of course there will be failures along the way. You are learning an entire new set of skills and behaviors. When an occasional failure is experienced — get up, dust yourself off, access the new information, believe in yourself, and begin again.n