Family Relationships

How many of us have been negatively effected by bad family relationships- past or current?
There is no required school for parenting, and we don't choose our families. In my own case, family relationships had a huge impact on the negative feelings I had toward myself; and these started way back. I came from a family that was not healthy for me. My parents had lots of love, but were not able to show it. They argued and my father, on binges, drank too muck. My mother has never taken a drink, so who will ever know if she had a problem? By today’s norms, I was an abused child. My parents, as I know today, did the best they could and provided a life with material things in it, but no overt sense of love.

My skills as a parent were learned from my parents and my grandparents. My father was much like his father, and not surprisingly my behaviour was similar to my Dad. I was lucky, I hit a wall and with support from someone who loved me, was gently persuaded to get the help in needed to get a life more in tune with what I truly wanted to be.

Today, I have love in my life. My wife, who insisted I get help, is with me and loves me. Through life recovery, our relationship has grown into something I didn't think I could ever experience. I have been fortunate to be able to "choose" new friends, friends with good self love who have become the family I always wanted. I have been able to improve relationships with my children, and have grand children who have only seen me in recovery and who love me dearly. I am a friend to myself, and because of this, I am a real friend to my friends.

All of this from hitting a wall and getting help guidance in several areas of my life.

If you can relate to any of this, and would like to chat freely about future direction, I would love to talk with you. I can be reached at khbray@hopeserenity.ca and possibly my "family" experiences can help you to find a path that addresses yours.