Feeling Better Now, Step By Step
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If you're a happy loving person then it's easy to tell someone else - "Just be happy. Just love yourself. Go ahead. Do it!"
But if you're really hurting, or depressed - if you're at the 'low end' of the emotional scale - it's probably just going to increase the hurt or the anger or the frustration or the whatever.
Those feelings you're already feeling tend to get amplified when you hear some cocky person (such as myself) tell you to 'just feel better'. It will likely make you MORE depressed, if you're depressed now. It amps up what you're already feeling, rather than actually helping you.
With that in mind, let me offer a fairly simple solution.
I can remember a time, many, many years ago, when a friend said to me: "Mark, this is the first time I've EVER seen you smiling."
What they didn't know - and I didn't bother to tell her - I was tripping on mushrooms at the time! And those psychedelic mushrooms make you laugh a lot.
Still, it stuck with me. I never forgot that statement. And I actually tried to start being happy... after the mushrooms wore off. (Since you can't really get in touch with your true feelings when you're high.)
But I couldn't even FAKE IT! I was that miserable. No happiness could be found anywhere in my life. Maybe a perverted sense of glee... if I were arguing or dragging someone down to my level. But no happiness.
I tried. I honestly tried to be happy. It just would not happen. Too bad I didn't know then, what I'm about to tell you now.
Essentially, it's a way to climb out of misery. By starting where you are. And by FEELING where you are - and then reaching for a slightly better feeling.
Below you'll find a list of emotions. Simply start reading the list, and jump in when you get to the way you feel right now.
Stop when you get to the way you feel. And feel that feeling for a minute or two - JUST feel - without doing anything else. It's harder than it sounds. Cause your mind will try to drag you all over the place, rather than to simply feel the emotion cleanly.
Then, when you're ready - go to the next one on the list, and feel *that* one for a minute or so. Keep going down the list. (You might want to write them out or print this page so you'll know what to do next time some smart-aleck tells you to 'just feel better'!)
And if it sounds like too much work, take that as a sign - there's a good indication you may REALLY want to do this! Maybe spend 60 seconds or more FEELING - without thinking or telling yourself a story about what it means to feel it. Then slowly work your way down the list. The key is to *keep moving* down the list.
Generally speaking, you only need to feel ONE emotion on each line, rather than all of them. For example, you could feel either the hurt, or the humiliation, or the abandonment; rather than all three; before moving to the next level. (Unless you really feel the need...)
Here's The List Of Emotions:
Hopelessness, Despair, Meaninglessness, Emptiness, Depression,
Powerlessness
Loneliness, Worthlessness, Feeling Hollow
Revenge, Rage, Hate
Blame
Jealousy, Envy
Hurt, Humiliation, Abandonment
Fear, Anxiety, Angst
Anger, Resentment, Bitte
ess
Pessimism
Guilt, Sadness
Pity, Crisis, Overwhelm, Martyr, Victim
Worry, Doubt, Discouraged
Frustration, Confusion, Aggravatio
Boredom, Impatience, Irritatio
Well-Being, Peace, Contentment
Optimism
Thrill, Enthusiasm
Hope, Trust
Passion, Compassion, Caring
Happiness, Wonder
Love, Joy, Gratitude, Intimacynn***
Now don't you feel better? Just a little bit? And you didn't even have to take any mushrooms.
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