***Fight Fair, Here’s How

The time has come. You have a conflict and it cannot and must not be avoided. Not everyone agrees on the solution and arriving at an approach that moves you and the team forward is absolutely necessary. Now what?

This really does not need to be a big deal. But you do want to set the stage for a strong and healthy battle. Sure the word battle does not always have positive connotations, but when you have multiple factions arguing over an issue, you do have a battle. If it makes you feel better call it a competition. What really matters is that YOU make sure the conditions are in place so that when the battle is over all parties can sit back down and get back to work together, in peace. Here are some points to consider: • Are there rules of engagement? What are the boundaries for behavior that is considered professional and ethical? Does everyone understand the rules? • Who is the referee? You need a neutral party who will encourage everyone to speak up, allow all ideas to be voiced and keep the debate focused on the issues. • Is this really a fair fight? Is the outcome already known? If so, stop wasting people’s time with any kind of debate, state the decision and move on. Yes people want to be heard, but they do not want to be lead to believe that they have a shot at winning when in fact they do not have any chance at all. • Is it clear how a decision will be reached? This is something that your referee or neutral party can explain to all sides and so can you. • If you are biased, be open and honest about your bias. If you try to hide your bias you risk appearing as sneaky or dishonest. • Emphasize the importance of maintaining strong professional relationships throughout the process. You and your team will go through this again. Remind everyone that this is not an actual war, you are all part of the same effort and it is not worth generating hard feelings that will last beyond this debate.

When the debate is over, only one decision will be reached. The resolution selected must be the one that delivers on the end goal or promise. It must not be a resolution that is selected to make the various competing factions feel better. This means that there will be a winner and a loser. Although the real winner is all of you because you made it through together, some people will feel like they lost. This is a good time to reward the entire group for sticking with it and seeing it to the end. Thank EVERYONE for their participation.