Topic

Browse Conflict Resolution

Articles, websites, and videos connected to Conflict Resolution, with experts and upcoming events available as separate paths.

Conflict Resolution

229 articles in Conflict Resolution

Switch lanes or search within this topic directory.

Topic expertsBrowse people connected to this topic.13 expertsUpcoming eventsFind dated sessions and local opportunities.0 events
SortRecommendedRecentPopularRated
Article
Seven Powerful Ways to Make Your Marriage Last

Marriage is supposed to last “forever,” isn’t it? When we decide to get married, we truly believe that forever will happen. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, because most of us don’t have realistic guidelines or tools to know how to make a marriage last. When we fall in love, we usually think that’s all we’ll need to be happy. However, when “reality” sets in and a couple has their first real argument, they both realize that their partner isn’t perfect.

4,060 views4.6/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
***Santa's 7 Holiday Stress-Busting Secrets

It's the most wonderful time of the year... Or so they say. While the end of year holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and joy, it often turns out to be a time of stress, depression and worry -- especially as people struggle to create some "holiday magic" for their friends and ...It's the most wonderful time of the year... Or so they say.

3,358 views5/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***Can a Democrat Stay Happily Married to a Republican?

In these tough times of economic and political turmoil, with a critical Presidential election right around the corner, everyone is talking politics. Hot political debate is being fueled around the dinner table, over coffee, over drinks, and at parties. The upcoming election is in the air! But what about couples who are in different political parties with opposing points of view? Can they live happily ever after? It depends on several issues:

4,541 views4.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Should YOU AVOID Conflict?

Most of the times you do not want conflict to go unaddressed. It is your job as a leader to ensure that your team engages in healthy and productive conflict and to make sure that conflict is not ignored. After all desperately hoping that an issue will just go away is a great way to turn a small issue into a gigantic problem! Then why is avoiding conflict is one of the recognized modes of conflict resolution as defined by the TKI or Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument?

3,357 views3.3/5 (7)
Read article →
Article
Listening Can Resolve Conflict - 10 Benefits!

Conflict happens in relationships. And the tension it brings is opportunity knocking at the door. We actually learn more by listening than we do by talking! When we are experiencing contrast or conflict with others, we are usually trying our best to persuade them to our point of view. And that means we just keep talking - hoping the others will see the light of our perspective. What happens if you shift your strategy and start listening - really listening? There are many benefits for you if you will apply this one very important communication tool in resolving conflicts. 1.

2,895 views4/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
***The Most Important Argument You’ll Ever Have in Your Relationship

The first argument is the most crucial argument you will ever have in your relationship, setting the stage for all arguments to follow. Future conflicts will often look and sound like they’re different, but most times are simply variations of the first, unresolved argument. Understanding that the first argument is a tool for healing, rather than just a random conflict, can spare yourself years of grief, hopelessness, and helplessness in your relationships.

3,509 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***What are the Five Conflict Resolution Modes?

And which one do you use most often? When you understand how you handle conflict, you can begin to understand when your approach is effective and when it is not. Then you can learn to adapt your behavior and draw from different conflict resolutions styles as-needed. There are five conflict handling modes and one of these is your preferred mode. These five modes come from the TKI or Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. What is the TKI? The TKI is a questionnaire designed to measure how you tend to handle inter-personal conflict.

7,256 views2.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Can Spouses Have Friends with the Opposite Sex? The Do’s and Don’ts for Making it Work

Male or female friendships are usually a threat to the primary relationship, but they really don’t HAVE to be. What fears us the most is the sexual aspect of this oftentimes complicated relationship. It’s difficult to keep the friendship platonic, given that 90% of the time, one of the friends has experienced romantic feelings for his/her friend. Sometimes this is talked about, and sometimes it isn’t, but the feelings are there. The primary relationship can then be affected with secrets, lies, and avoidance.

3,138 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Change Your Language, Change Your Relationship: How We Say Things Does Matter

That old phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not really true. Words may not inflict visible bruises like sticks and stones, but they pack a punch nonetheless. They injure our insides, our feelings, and our self-esteem. Exte al bruises are tangible proof that we’ve been hurt. Internal bruises from verbal attacks are harder to prove, harder to acknowledge, and harder to talk about.

2,828 views3.8/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
Five Tips to Boost Your Relaxation

Have you ever had these limiting thoughts about your ability to relax? “Oh, I’m long overdue for this”, or “I definitely earned it”, or “I just don’t have the time to relax”, or ”You know, sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten how to relax” Would you like to add more relaxation to your life? I sure hope so! Relaxation will help you to strengthen your relationships, restore your body’s natural good health, boost your productivity, calm your restless mind, and bring balance into your life.

1,610 views3.6/5 (11)
Read article →
Article
***Don’t Give in Without a Fight

Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided and that is not a bad thing. When you and your team or you and a colleague resolve a conflict together, you build a better working relationship. When I say to you, ‘Don’t give in without a fight’; I don’t mean go have an ugly nasty altercation. I mean don’t just back down when you have a disagreement, don’t avoid a healthy debate and don’t give in because it feels easier or you think it is the peaceful thing to do. It isn’t the peaceful thing to do, because YOU won’t feel peace and neither will your team.

2,331 views3.8/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
***The Big Cover Up

All of a sudden Sam had that ‘I think I forgot something feeling’, the feeling that makes some of us feel just a little bit sick to our stomachs or perhaps brings on a cold sweat. Then he realized what it was, he had completely forgotten to tell his project steering committee about the change request that the branch office had given to him when he visited their facility two weeks ago. The branch manager’s administrative assistant had handed him a hardcopy as he was leaving for the airport.

1,772 views5/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
What to Do When Anger Turns to Rage in a Relationship Conflict

There is a significant difference between anger and rage. Anger can be viewed as a scale that ranges from minor irritation to intense rage. It can be very scary indeed when the scale tips toward rage. Most of us don’t have any idea what to do when someone we love becomes that angry. Do we leave them alone until they calm down? Will that enrage them more? Do you get angry back? Will that enrage them more? Can you even reason with someone who is that mad? Do you have to protect yourself from their anger?

4,928 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Be Impeccable with Your Word

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Do any of you remember that charming little childhood chant? It was meant to ward off the cruel verbal taunts we received from other children. Sometimes kids can be very harsh with their teasing. Sometimes adults can be very harsh with their words too. And the above childhood chant, well sometimes it may have helped you but most of the time it You see words are a very powerful tool. Expressing our thoughts as words is one of the strongest powers we possess as human beings.

3,445 views3/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
***5 Effective Ways to Cope with Holiday Stress During the Recession

For most of us, we want the holidays to be fun and exciting. But more often than not, the holiday season evokes tension and stress. By spending more money than our budgets allow, or going overboard by eating the wrong foods, or taking on too many activities…these exte al stressors are only a piece of the bigger picture. These problems only compound when we are faced with unresolved family issues and budget limitations.

2,572 views4.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Can You Schedule Conflict?

Recently we have discussed steps to take to when you decide to step in and step up to conflict resolution. In ‘You Decide to Resolve a Conflict’ Part I and Part II one of the underlying assumptions was that you had time to plan your actions and the steps you would take to resolve the conflict.

2,414 views3.8/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Why should be Maintained Information of the Data Entry?

One of the most popular ways to make money online work at home data entry jobs to become. Quickly process large amounts of data need to organizations worldwide. Data entry workers, a smooth and successful operation of information to ensure. You see a house mother or father, some gold transactions to supplement their regular income to spend money getting, so can work at home data entry jobs, you could see just what students. Bad rats, sleep disorders are not, training usually

2,473 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Stop the Shoulding!

The women next to me in line said to her friend, "I am so tired of people telling me what I should do. I just want to yell, STOP SHOULDING ON ME!" I could not help but smile a bit. Not at her annoyance and frustration, but at the phrase, 'stop shoulding on me.' I thought, "What a great expression." The expression stayed with me for days.

2,064 views3.6/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
***The Face of Conflict

One of the more common definitions of conflict is that it is a clash between two (or more) opposing groups or that it is a power struggle or a battle between opposing forces. When you think of conflict, you may think of it as a negative (think power struggle or battle) or you may think that it must always be about other people. Some of you may go as far as to believe that if it were not for other people you would never have to deal with conflict. Today, I ask you to consider a few questions.

1,761 views3.1/5 (9)
Read article →
Article
***Conflict and You

Do you and the people you work with share the exact same beliefs, perspectives, priorities and goals? Probably not. Hmmm, I guess that means you are going to experience conflict. Conflict is a condition in which people’s conce s appear to be incompatible. In fact since you and your co-workers are not intellectual and emotional clones of one another, conflict is inevitable. Conflict is a natural byproduct of our environment. Conflict is not inherently bad or evil (although some of us have been taught to avoid conflict like the plague). Conflict does not have to lead to fighting.

1,895 views3.5/5 (6)
Read article →
Article
***5 Tips to Keep the Peace this Holiday Season

Did you blink? Here it is again, another holiday season! Do you love this time of year or do you dread it? Perhaps your feelings are a bit mixed. Your holiday experience can be really upsetting, tiring and stressful OR your holiday season can truly be one of peace and joy. The choice is up to YOU. Your thoughts and actions during this time will define your holiday experience. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, but you can take control of your own thoughts and actions.

2,330 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Collaborating Over Conflict

Mary Carol had a difficult decision to make. Her team had an important and risky system upgrade to complete. The upgrade definitely needed to occur over a weekend. The schedule was tight and many of the team members felt that the upgrade should occur over an upcoming holiday weekend. This would give them extra time just in case the upgrade did not go smoothly. Other team members hated this idea and were rebelling against the idea of giving up a weekend plus a Monday holiday. As the senior project manager, Mary Carol would make the final decision.

1,766 views5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Choose YOUR Battles

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part of me wonders, ‘is this discouraging me from thinking big?’ I have spent so much time learning that so many of us really under estimate ourselves, that I would never want the above to be an excuse for playing it too safe or not fully utilizing our potential.

2,503 views3.7/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***Can't We All Just Get Along

No, we cannot all get along all of the time. It is unrealistic to think that all team members will absolutely agree with you or with each other all of the time. If every time you are together, there is never any disagreement, look out - you have problems. Sure, maybe the first time you meet you are on your best behavior. But if this persists, perhaps you have a tendency toward getting along. This means you value being agreeable over other traits. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being accommodating.

1,846 views4/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
***Fight Fair, Here’s How

The time has come. You have a conflict and it cannot and must not be avoided. Not everyone agrees on the solution and arriving at an approach that moves you and the team forward is absolutely necessary. Now what? This really does not need to be a big deal. But you do want to set the stage for a strong and healthy battle. Sure the word battle does not always have positive connotations, but when you have multiple factions arguing over an issue, you do have a battle. If it makes you feel better call it a competition.

1,472 views4.2/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
***Can YOU, SHOULD YOU, help resolve the conflicts around you?

Maybe you've mastered conflict resolution and you like to help others. Maybe you are the one that others come to for help when they have a conflict or you work in an environment where conflict occurs regularly. But somehow you find yourself stepping in and helping to resolve the conflicts around you. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It depends. It certainly makes more sense for you to be involved in healthy conflict as opposed to unhealthy conflict. And today we will focus on healthy conflict. What is healthy conflict?

1,463 views4.2/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Varieties of Psychotherapy And Their Applications

In today’s world there are many and different types of psychotherapy, each one varying in its approach to patients and it’s common and founding hypothesis and theories. And even though there is still no complete understanding of how the human brain functions, most of the therapeutic approaches are based on successful methods and provide a way to treat the problems , having as little knowledge as we have. A person must understand , however, that even though most of the the

2,167 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***You are Doing Your Best

If you follow sports you have noticed that top athletes do not always perform consistently. A world class runner may break a world record in one competition and then not even place in the same event one week later. A champion weight lifter might break a record and then be unable to lift that same weight for several workouts. These are professionals, champions, stars - why can't they demonstrate peak performance every time? Aren't they giving it their all each time? Well, they are doing their best. There is nothing wrong.

1,863 views3.6/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
The Benefits of Life Coaching: Your Accelerated Growth

Perhaps the most important commonality clients of trained personal coaches have in common is that they achieve their clearly defined life goals sooner by moving through challenges more quickly. Many coaching clients enjoy new levels of happiness, improved communication skills, renewed mental and physical vitality, enhanced creativity, more effective time management and personal productivity, heightened emotional stability, improved income, and deeper intimacy in relationships.

1,558 views4.7/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***You Decide to Resolve a Conflict, Now What?

You have observed a conflict between some of your team members and you realize you are the right person to help them reach a resolution. How do you KNOW this? You have carefully considered the situation, perhaps using “Can You SHOULD You Help Resolve the Conflicts Around You?” as your guide. Your next move is all abut the HOW, as-in HOW to move forward. The optimal scenario is that you are able to prepare in advance. Today we are going to look at the first few steps to take to help you prepare.

1,569 views4/5 (5)
Read article →
Article
The Mother-Daughter Bond: Conflict and Comfort

For many women, the mother-daughter connection is life's most complex relationship. So it comes as no surprise that many of us struggle with the relationship that we share with our mothers and many of us struggle with the relationships that we share with our daughters. As a mediator and as a woman, I am intrigued by how the mother-daughter bond can bring both conflict and comfort.

5,323 views2/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
4 Ways to Survive the Hard Times and Come Out Closer

Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downtu ? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit: 1. Back to Basics. View this as an ...Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downtu ? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit:

2,592 views3.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Ways to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Do you have anyone in your life who displays any of the following behaviours (on a regular basis)? Gets all defensive and angry when they are given any form of feedback? rn‘Flies of the handle’ at the slightest thing? rnGets really upset and displays behaviours such as crying and tantrums when things aren’t going their way? rnIgnores how the rest of the room is feeling and is unable to pick up the emotions of others? rnIs like a Boeing 747, they land on others feelings:

1,755 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Health and Harmony in Relationships: It All Starts with YOU!

“Stress is damaging to your health, so take care of yourself,” is very sound advice, but what exactly does that mean and how exactly do you take care of yourself and lessen stress? Experiencing optimal physical, mental, and spiritual health includes the good fortune of having healthy and ...“Stress is damaging to your health, so take care of yourself,” is very sound advice, but what exactly does that mean and how exactly do you take care of yourself and lessen stress?

4,034 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Minimizing Holiday Stress

Minimizing Holiday Stress While the holidays are supposed to be a joyous time spent with our most loved family and friends, it also comes with extra stress. We find ourselves in the midst of shopping for that perfect gift, planning parties, attending parties, cooking, baking, attending company functions, working extra hours to fill in for those taking holiday vacations, worrying about finances, especially during this tough economic time and keeping up with the regular day to day responsibilities. We quickly find ourselves on complete overload.

1,992 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***YOU are a Role Model

“To observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's education. It helps him to understand and accept his own occasional hostilities and to realize that differing opinions need not imply an absence of love.” … Milton R Sapirstein When children can see others disagree and disagree with respect and they see that nothing bad happens, what a terrific example! Disagreement is part of life. Becoming upset is part of life.

1,530 views3.8/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
How Your First Argument Could Last for 50 Years

Sounds crazy, but it’s true! Simply put, the first argument you have with your partner, if left unresolved, will manifest itself time and time again - in different forms – throughout your entire relationship. When we fall in love and begin a partnership, we temporarily maintain our best ...

2,886 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
For your marriage

“For your Marriage ………………………….” Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya MS Counselling and Psychotherapy, PhD, PG Jou alism I am a Mumbai-based psychological counsellor and family therapist. I have seen fair share of dysfunctional marriages. Here, I recount the case of Subeesh and Suprabha. Subeesh and Suprabha were married for 6 years. Subeesh was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict years before he met Suprabha. She was a successful professional and Subeesh was in the top management in a

2,343 views3.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

According to statistics, 45 or 55 percent of married women and 50 to 60 percent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship. An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, and nothing destroys a marriage faster than marital infidelity. As shocking as statistics are, you may wonder then if it’s really possible to affair-proof your marriage. The answer is: Yes, it’s possible. But in order to make that happen, it’s important to know what can cause an affair.

2,359 views3/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
Don’t Be a Jerk to a Jerk

Sometimes you find yourself working with someone and no matter how kind and compassionate you try to be, you still think they are a jerk. Maybe they yell all the time or they are condescending or a back stabber. It might be tempting to yell at them more loudly than they yelled at you or to answer them with sarcasm or to plot your revenge.

1,596 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Bringing it ALL to Work

I remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really yell and maybe everyone in the room did not turn and stare at me and maybe I did not turn beet red. Or maybe some of this is how it really happened.

1,456 views3.8/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
Apology: Magical, Cleansing, and Healing

As a professional mediator I have seen the power of the apology first hand. Practicing the 12-Step directive to "make a list of all persons we have harmed, become willing to make amends to them all, and make direct amends wherever possible" may be one of the best life practices you can incorporate. In fact, adopting this philosophy can drastically improve your relationships. Here is what you need to know about apologies:

1,573 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***New Ideas

“There is no squabbling so violent as that between people who accepted an idea yesterday and those who will accept the same idea tomorrow… “ CHRISTOPHER MORLEY Wow now isn’t that the truth? Here is another excellent opportunity to sharpen your conflict resolution skills. Some of you accept new ideas right away in fact you live for the opportunity to challenge the status quo. Some of you don’t see the need for anything new, everything works now as-is, why gum up the process? Why fix something that is not broken? Most of you are probably somewhere in the middle.

1,733 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
Please, Make a Decision

Over lunch, Jacob and Marilyn discussed some of the frustrations they were experiencing on one of their current projects. Jacob was a business analyst on the project and Marilyn was the subject matter expert. Jacob turned to Marilyn and said to her, “If you could say just one thing to Tom our project manager, what would it be?” Without hesitation Marilyn replied, “Please, make a decision.”

1,496 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Don’t Assume a Thing

In one of the first classes I taught, I had a student who was always scowling at me. It would have been really hard to miss that scowl. He sat in the front row and it was a small class in a small room. He was friendly enough when he entered the class room and when he left for the evening. But invariably at some point during our class discussions he would scrunch up his face and start scowling at me. I had no idea what I was doing to upset him. I spent a great deal of time thinking about it. I can’t say that I changed the content of the course I was teaching because of his scowls.

1,476 views3/5 (6)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Telling The Truth: A Human Deficiency?

Why is it that our human race has such a difficult time telling the truth? The politician scandals mount each day as our own leaders think the best way to get through something is to lie about it. Almost always, especially with today’s technology and media resources the ones who lie get caught one way or another. Videos on YouTube, cell phone records, internet emails and texting have found ways to expose all the little and big lies that are told. Those in government office

1,366 views5/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Affairs: The Ultimate Challenge

An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face. It is a powerful catalyst that can either end the relationship or take it to a greater level of intimacy. An extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time, affairs do not happen out of the blue. They challenge both partners to look at themselves and their relationship in a radically new way.

2,347 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
Stress less from the inside out

I have been reading various articles on dealing with anxiety; All well intentioned, and providing good advice, but is it the right advice? Simply saying to not worry and be more content does little to help me. I know that’s what I need to do. It just makes me all the more frustrated when I can’t. I think, if I could just stop obsessing about this, maybe I wouldn’t be so anxious. I need to know how to stop.

1,013 views5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Conflict Takes Courage

Last year there was an unfortunate incident at a military base in the United States. I am talking about Fort Hood. An individual started shooting people. Within hearing range of the shooting a graduation ceremony was taking place. Attending the graduation were medics and other trained personnel. In the midst of this sad crisis, something interesting happened. Many of the participants in the graduation ceremony heard the gunfire and dropped everything and ran towards it.

1,519 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***It's Not Personal

Sally looked at Mary Carol and said, "Wow how did you do that? How did you just brush it off, I mean Jim just got in your face and told you that he hates working with you. And you are just as calm and collected as ever." Mary Carol looked at Sally and said, "Well I am really not taking it personally." Sally was flabbergasted. "How can you NOT take that personally?" she asked. Mary Carol shared her beliefs about taking things personally: "What other people say and do, is really a reflection of them. The decisions people make about their own behavior is really about themselves.

1,469 views3.3/5 (4)
Read article →
Article
Five Mistakes to Avoid during Conflict

There are so many positive strategies and processes to use in managing conflict effectively. And sometimes it’s very important to know how to avoid the pitfalls. You will enhance your success in finding heart peace if you stay aware of the energies that are the indicators and outcomes of conflict. These energies begin with small contrasts that come from mismatched expectations among people. And there are some mistakes you can avoid making if you know about them before they come up. You can safely and effectively avoid these Five Mistakes during Conflict.

1,723 views3.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
“I Had No Choice” Is a Lame Excuse!

Understanding your choices is essential in managing conflict. And, yes, there is always more than one choice! You just have to decide what consequence you will live with. This helps you resolve your own inner conflict. And just as important is the strategy of providing choices for others when you are in conflict. The narrowing of choice is not motivating. It is the expansion of choice or the opportunity to decide that motivates an individual to go beyond feeling victimized. And in businesses or organizations, it allows an individual to go beyond minimal competence.

1,743 views3/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***3 Ways to Deal with Differences

"There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish..." Mary Parker Follett The above quote is an ideal reminder that there are multiple ways to deal with conflict. Is there a bias being displayed about the best way to resolve a conflict? Sure, in this instance the favored approach is integration.

1,712 views3.5/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***3 Ways Your EQ Resolves Conflict

Your Emotional Intelligence can help make or break you. After all your Emotional Intelligence or EQ is your ability to handle yourself and others. It is all about your ability to get along with others and build relationships. In today’s world it is not enough to be good at the technical aspects of your job, if you really want to separate yourself from the pack you need to get along well with others too! Getting along well with others also means that you can face conflict with the people around you and keep those relationships intact.

2,086 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***YOUR Time

Question, what is the resource that you cannot acquire more of? Do you think it is money? Do you think it is a specific type of skilled labor or a certain type of raw material? NO! Although you or your company might be feeling financially challenged you can find ways to earn money, you can find labor and other resources. The answer is T-I-M-E, TIME!

1,366 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***What Difference do Differences Make?

You have worked side-by-side with your team for quite some time and the good news is that it has been truly enjoyable. You get along, you work hard together and you laugh hard together. Lucky you, this might even be an example of a high performing team. You assumed it was because you had so much in common. Then one day the inevitable occurred. The conversation turned toward religion or politics or some other high stakes topic. You were not too conce ed. After all, you get along so well and this must be because you are all so alike.

1,346 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths?

“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work be perfect? He tried, he really did, but editing his own writing was just boring to him and not one of his strengths.

1,654 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Pick Up the Sword?

That’s it YOU have had it. You are tired of dealing with that person. THEY are always doing things on purpose to make you look bad. THEY are always doing things on purpose to get on YOUR nerves. Well it is time to do something, so YOU are going on the attack. Going on the attack can mean different things to different people or different things in different environments. For the purposes of our conversation you are not planning a physical attack. This is the workplace and let’s assume an office environment. Your form of attack looks something like this:

1,634 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
What is EQ and Why Do You Care?

EQ is the acronym for Emotional Intelligence. So not only do you and I have an IQ (Intelligence Quotient), we also have emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is not about traditional intelligence. It is about our ability to handle ourselves and others. It is all about our ability to get along with others and build relationships. The concept of EQ became popularized by Daniel Goleman in 1995. His book (also called Emotional Intelligence), helped us to understand that it is not just technical and analytical abilities that make a successful leader.

1,242 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Things to Do Today: Ask for Help

“Go ahead and tell me the steps you will take to complete this assignment.” This is the question that none of my early supervisors ever asked me on the job. And boy was I relieved that they never asked this question. Why? Because I had no clue! When I was new on the job I was afraid to ask questions or to admit what I did not know. I would run back to my cubicle and frantically search for the information I needed to complete my new assignment.

1,574 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***How a Cup of Coffee Can Ruin Your Day

Danielle left the house with just five minutes to spare. It would have been better if she had left ten or fifteen minutes early because she wanted to stop and buy a cup of coffee. She decided that she could probably get in and out of the coffee house within seven minutes and that being just two minutes late to work was perfectly acceptable. Then Danielle drove to the coffee house. When Danielle arrived at the coffee house the line seemed manageable. But quickly Danielle was able to see that she was going to be late.

1,724 views2.7/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***Choose YOUR Battles

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part of me wonders, ‘is this discouraging me from thinking big?’ I have spent so much time learning that so many of us really under estimate ourselves, that I would never want the above to be an excuse for playing it too safe or not fully utilizing our potential.

1,455 views3/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***How Am I Supposed to Do That?

“Margaret, you share with us these great tips for treating people with compassion. You make sense when you remind us that other people’s behavior is about them. But how are we supposed to really do this in the real world? Especially when someone is right in my face and I just want to yell at them?” Not only is that a fair and honest question, it is one I hear frequently. If treating others with compassion was easy to do all of the time, almost everyone would do it all of the time.

1,422 views3/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
Seeking Reconciliation – A Conflict Management Strategy!

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew: 5:23-25) Managing conflict sometimes means admitting you are wrong or acknowledging that you have hurt or harmed some other part of life. This verse of Scripture simply and lovingly instructs us about what is most important. We may be seeking to get right with God – the Spirit of God that is somehow much higher than where we are.

1,661 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***The Face of Conflict

One of the more common definitions of conflict is that it is a clash between two (or more) opposing groups or that it is a power struggle or a battle between opposing forces. When you think of conflict, you may think of it as a negative (think power struggle or battle) or you may think that it must always be about other people. Some of you may go as far as to believe that if it were not for other people you would never have to deal with conflict. Today, I ask you to consider a few questions.

1,364 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Next Time YOU Make a Mistake

Most of you are your own worst critic. So when you make a mistake you are much harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. It is completely normal to be disappointed with yourself, but the longer you beat yourself up the longer it takes for you to regain your confidence. If you were mad with a friend or a family member, that anger may not go away in five minutes. You might be angry for a little while. The same thing is going to be true with YOU. And again, if you are your own worst critic, you’re going to be harder on yourself than you would be with someone else.

1,567 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Be Honest about YOUR Boundaries

Is this you? You start working for somebody new and you want to make a good impression. Maybe you start carrying your BlackBerry with you everywhere and you answer them all night and all weekend. Every time they send you something, you answer them whether or not you are on call. As time goes by you find that you are becoming annoyed by the people you work with. What is up with them? They call you or text you all hours of the day and night. When you do not answer right away they keep sending you message after message. You find yourself become ever more irritable.

1,485 views2.7/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
***Seasoning our Behavior

Hi Everyone, The item below is not a new post, but it has become an ‘old favorite’ and it is appropriate for this time of year. Once again I bring you ‘Seasoning Our Behavior’. This week marks the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. There are many traditions that surround this holiday and I am not just talking about overeating and hitting the mall for shopping the next day. Thanksgiving designates the beginning of the holiday season for many residents of the United States. And the workplace during this time of year can be very interesting indeed.

1,414 views2.7/5 (3)
Read article →
Article
I Already Know That!

“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication. “ Groucho Marx “I already know that.” Now there is a phrase that does not encourage conversation. In fact if someone approaches you to speak with you and you hit them with an “I already know that”; you might as well say “Go away” or “I don’t care what you think”. You just killed the conversation.

1,202 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How to Ease Conflict

A monk asked Shigui, "What is the first principle?" Shigui said, "What you just asked is the second principle." -- from Zen’s Chinese Heritage A few weeks ago, I was trying to pass along some information to a friend that I hoped would help resolve a conflict with which she was struggling. She was angry and, no matter what data I provided, I could tell it wasn’t getting through. Every point I tried to make, my friend got more defensive. She wanted out of the conversation a

1,133 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Why YOU avoid YOUR Resolutions and What to Do About it

Here is a New Year’s resolution you almost never hear: “This year I vow to keep everything the same, I am going to weigh the same, exercise the same, talk to all of the same people and be exactly the same.” New Year’s resolutions are about change and sometimes change is difficult. Let’s explore some of the reason you make and then avoid (or don’t keep) those resolutions. One reason for making resolutions is peer pressure. The people around us expect us to make resolutions for the New Year.

1,275 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***Make YOUR OWN Paradise

My husband turned to me and said, "Everyone here is so nice and so relaxed and so happy". I thought about it for a minute and replied, "Well if you can't be happy here, where can YOU be happy?" The HERE in "Well if you can't be happy here..." was one of the most beautiful tropical islands in the world. My thought was how could a person be unhappy when they are in the middle of paradise?

1,611 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
YOU are a Risk

Each day you bring strengths and weaknesses to work. You walk into the room (virtual or otherwise) with what makes you unique. Or as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. That is a good thing. It is all of the elements that make you, well you; that differentiate you from others. You cannot escape yourself, but you can GROW yourself. Remember that the definition of a risk includes both positive and negative events that impact the success of your project. Let’s update that in terms of what it means to you:

1,184 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
***It Starts with YOUR Attention

The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic conce can come. You want to help them, and then that begins a compassionate act. So I'd say that compassion begins with attention. - Daniel Goleman

1,495 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***Changing Your Mind

“Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”rn- John Kenneth Galbraith Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person who just cannot let it go. You or someone else disagrees with them about something and then the next thing you know you get a half hour lecture on why they are right, then a follow-up phone call and several emails. Phew, that is so much energy!

1,491 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
How Did That Feel?

Mary Carol arrived at the hospital too late, Lydia had just died. Mary Carol and her co-workers all knew that Lydia was dying. Lydia had been fighting cancer for several months and unfortunately she did not respond to the treatment. Mary Carol was coming to say goodbye. She said her good byes and helped the family as best she could. Then she placed a call to Gina. Mary Carol worked for Gina and so had Lydia. When Gina did not reply to her call, Mary Carol left another message. Gina never replied to Mary Carols call.

745 views4/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
Garbage In, Garbage Out

It’s the end of a long day. You started the day early in order to meet a deadline and you ended the day late to meet that same deadline. The good news is that you reached your goal. The bad news is that traffic on the way home was miserable. When you arrive home you can’t wait to sit on the couch and just be a vegetable. Some mindless entertainment sounds perfect. Now it is Friday evening and it has been one tough week. You had planned to attend a seminar Saturday morning, but now you think it would feel better to sleep late.

924 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Creatures of Habit

Jeanette and Rusty left work early to compare notes. Both of them worked for the same director and both of them were unhappy with their performance reviews. Jeanette had tried to discreetly ask her peers about their performance reviews, but Rusty seemed to be the only other manager who was upset. Over a glass of wine, Jeanette began her rant: “I think that every year the boss has to have at least two people who receive poor appraisals or he just doesn’t think he is being tough enough.

900 views4/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Seven Tips for Managing Your Own History during Conflict

The biggest obstacle to effective conflict management may just be your own history! You and the others in your relationships all have a past when it comes to communicating, building relationships and managing conflicts. Your patterns of behavior are built on your perceptions of what is happening to you and how others are relating to you. And most of us have our own best interests in mind when we are negotiating our way through expectations that are not being met.

1,363 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Overcoming Workplace Bullying With Support From Others

Have you ever tried reaching out for your workmates or colleagues and close friends to tell them regarding your situation or experience with being bullied at the workplace, but they were not there for you? And Why Does This Takes Place? There are top 3 reasons why sympathy and support might not be present for you when you are dealing with a situation regarding adult bullying: 1. They never realized that empathizing or the mere act of listening could greatly help, even if they

1,360 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
***What Could Happen

When you are facing a difficult decision sometimes the best thing to do is to sit back and analyze the potential outcomes from your decision. What path will each outcome create for you? Trace that path to its natural termination. Are you OK with this path? In other words: If you do X, what is the worst thing that could happen? Now, what is the best thing that could happen? Are you prepared for both scenarios?

1,300 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Causing a Scene

Scene 1, Take 1 In this movie version of 'The Life of a Team Member' (working title); the camera pans slowly across what appears to be a corporate office. We see workers dressed in business casual walking the hallways, coming in and out of conference rooms and sitting in cubicles. Two team members are talking outside a conference room door. As the camera closes in on the two we hear their conversation:

1,932 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Be Yourself

"Do I have to be an extravert to be a good leader?" "Do I have to be able to walk up to strangers and strike up conversations to be a successful leader?" My answer to both of the above: no and no! I receive both of the above (or similar) questions all the time. For some reason people who are less outgoing think that if they cannot walk around glad handing people like politicians, that they will never be successful leaders. Funny thing, I have never had someone ask me “Hey, do I need to dial it down a bit and be less outgoing to be a good leader?”

1,916 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
The Social Butterfly

The Social Butterfly It seemed to John that Jane spent at least as much time away from her desk as she did at her desk. It seemed like every time he walked down the hallway he would see her speaking with someone. And she never made it through the company cafeteria without stopping to exchange greetings with several people. John had never seen most of these people before; they clearly did not work in Information Technology or represent their major user groups. John was never s

1,247 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Conflict Is The Gift That Just Keeps On Giving! You’re Kidding, Right?

Most of us grow up conditioned to believe that conflict is bad. That is a myth! And it’s a pretty destructive myth because it places all of us in a position of being bad in some way because we are in conflict within ourselves or we experience conflict with others. Truthfully, being in conflict is as easy as falling off a log! With a little shift in perception and some help in understanding the true nature of conflict, we can walk the log skillfully, with balance and reach our destination on the other side. Some say that conflict is not good or bad - it just is!

1,877 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Reach for the Stars and Land on Uranus

“Master, what is the answer to finding Inner Peace,” the student asks the teacher? “That is for you to find, within,” the teacher elusively answers. If I had a nickel for the countless times this question has been asked throughout time… well I don’t have to tell you that I would give Bill Gates a run for his money.

1,869 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship

When is it time to say, “My relationship is in trouble, and we need help”? How do you know when that time is? When couples wait too long to ask for help, the relationship may be beyond repair. The sooner help is sought, the better chance there is of recovering, saving, and actually strengthening the relationship. This includes issues dealing with affairs or other types of betrayal. The longer we wait, the more entrenched we get in destructive patterns and resentment, and all hope for change is lost. At a certain point, we don’t even want change…we just want to be done.

2,505 views1/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
How To Deal With Insults

Do you have a problem with emotional insecurity? Do insulting remarks bother you? We will discuss ways to positively deal with those who try to insult you. Display your sense of humor when someone hurls a nasty remark at you. If you laugh when someone tries to insult you, you will feel better while possibly humiliating the other person. You can easily laugh away emotional pain. As they say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Ignore someone who tries to insult you. If you igno

5,996 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Are You in Control?

The scene below depicts Jane and her behavior while in a bad mood. In this potential scenario Jane is being really hateful: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the counter and waited for her coffee.

806 views3/5 (2)
Read article →
Article
The Most Common Mistake Made in Apologizing - The Non-Apology Apology

Learning the correct actions and methods to apologize is not enough. It greatly helps your understanding and success if you not only know what to do, but also what not to do. This article reveals to you the most common mistake we humans make when apologizing to people. The Most Common Mistake: A Non-Apology Apology Parents teach their children to say please and thank you very early on. They are then later taught to apologize by saying "I'm sorry". The children are unknowing

5,668 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
How to Predict a Cheating Spouse

The same, unanswered questions keep getting asked each time a celebrity or politician gets caught cheating: Why? Are they bored? Is the fear of getting caught exciting? Is monogamy just not their thing? Are they searching for an outlet for fetishes they’re afraid to ask their partners about? Do they feel neglected by their mate? Is sex addiction a real thing, or just a scapegoat for wrongdoings? Are cheaters just plain selfish, unremorseful, and uncaring about the feelings of their partner?

2,281 views1/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
A Military Solution to a War on Terrorism is Doomed

It's a sore temptation to hunt down Osama bin Laden - one of the most consistent campaign promises made by President Obama - and yet there are strong arguments against it. U.S. forces would have to penetrate deep into provincial Pakistan and perhaps even conduct house-to-house searches. Such incursions would destabilize Pakistan's already shaky regime and inflame the extremist element. More troops would have to be committed to the Afghanistan war zone, with no positive outcom

978 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How to Avoid Bad Situations

Never talk to strangers—that’s our parent’s warning during our childhood days for us to avoid bad people. But when you become adult, you are left with your own view and opinion of things whether this thing, people or event is bad for you. We can never predict what future is set for us but we can always prepare ourselves against bad events or situations. Watch where you’re goingrnIf you want to live a good life you are determined to work it out the best possible way. S

5,115 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
My Partner Cheated, Why Was I the Last to Know?

Usually we’re surprised by an affair because we’ve ignored the early warning signs, such as arguments that never got resolved, or built up feelings of resentment due to diminishing communication and emotional and sexual interest. We don’t realize that these are the seeds of affairs. We don’t take these signs seriously because we think the issues will go away or resolve themselves. But they don’t. They unconsciously build momentum, and before we know it, we have found out that our partner has cheated…without us even knowing.

2,116 views1/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Conflict Resolutio 10: Arguments and Verbal Aggression

It may not come as much of a surprise to learn that some people enjoy arguments. They look forward to them and literally get health benefits from the experience. This is a fact. Others, however, do not like to argue. For these people, an argument is an unpleasant and unhealthy experience, one ... It may not come as much of a surprise to learn that some people enjoy arguments. They look forward to them and literally get health benefits from the experience. This is a fact. Othe

4,934 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Considering Cutbacks? Conflict Gives You Choices!

Economic times are bad! Finances are tight! I can’t afford to carry these people! Sound familiar? If you add your energy to this choir of voices in conflict, you are actually creating a reality that you don’t want! How DO you deal with conflict and financial realities without adding your “energy” to a downward spiral? When change happens – like tight money – loss – unexpected events – don’t you tend to contract, restrict, reserve, withdraw and withhold resources? Wait a minute! Take a deep breath and look around you.

1,350 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
6 Ways to Stay Focused on What You Really Want in Your Relationships

No matter how young or old you are, or how hard things have been, it’s never too late to review what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s easy to lose focus on what you really want due to the daily demands of life. However, there’s always a way to look at your life differently, to ...No matter how young or old you are, or how hard things have been, it’s never too late to review what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s easy to lose focus on what you really want due to the daily demands of life.

4,933 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Stop Wasting Time

So there you are in line at the grocery store or the hardware store or the bank. It could be anyplace really. You could be on hold waiting for a customer service representative or waiting for a meeting to begin. You have time on your hands, what do you do with that time? What time, you ask? You really do not plan on being in line or on hold or waiting for more than five minutes. It's not a large block of time. What difference can it make? The difference it makes depends on how you spend that time. Do you: - Spend it being annoyed that you have to wait?

1,344 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Principled Negotiations

So much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children's bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own over-allocation).

1,284 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
What’s Your Motivation?

Jane had a tough decision to make. She had two strong candidates for her former Director of Software Development position. Newly promoted to CIO (Chief Information Officer) Jane needed to backfill her old position quickly. This was the first decision she would make in her new role, so selecting the right candidate was truly critical. While Jane was still in her previous position, she had worked with a leadership coach. The coach introduced Jane and her direct reports to the concept of EQ or Emotional Intelligence. The concept of EQ really resonated with Jane.

839 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Decisions, Decisions

“Tom I really think that when there is a technical decision to be made, it makes perfects sense for you to delegate the decision to Simon. After all he is our technical lead.” Marilyn chimed in, “I agree with Jacob. I think the trick is that you need to make it clear that you trust Simon to make the call.”

1,183 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Hard Conversations

"The hardest conversations are the most important ones." India Arie wrote those words in the liner notes of her album, Testimony: Volume 2 Love and Politics. India's words often connect with me at a perfect intersection of time/space. nnI read those words a short time after having a very difficult conversation with the someone I love. India's words may be take a hard look at myself and how I show up in my life especially how I choose to show up in relationships during difficu

1,171 views2/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Why Won't You Listen to ME?

How many times have you been in a situation with someone you know pretty well, maybe your spouse or your best friend, when you just couldn’t get through to them? For some reason beyond your understanding they just refuse to listen to what you are saying. They argue, they say irrational ...

4,253 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Are You Aware?

Scene One: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the counter and waited for her coffee. When it was ready she picked it up and marched out of the coffee house, letting the door close in the face of the person walking out behind her. Wow, Jane really seems to be in a bad mood.

707 views3/5 (1)
Read article →
Article
Managing Organizational Conflict

All too often organizations cry out for what I call the quick fix. You know the scenario: two employees not getting along, probably personality differences, not real receptive to previous internal interventions, etc., so the organization decides to bring in outside help to fix the problem. ...

3,769 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How to Deal With Devious Co-workers?

This question comes back over and over, it is the same in class with the kids, as it is at work as it is between families and countries.nnThe fact is that all people are equal on one very important level, at any age, any were in the world, all we really want is to be noticed appreciated, recognized for our being, to be loved and respected for the smallest contribution that we may make to society.nnIt begins in very early age, some have it more naturally, as they have some spe

3,590 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Is Karma Fair?

"Karma, or cosmic justice, puts everyone into conditions where they can either learn or atone for something." Helena Roerich Is Karma fair? In Biblical terms, karma is reaping what you sow. As it turns out, that word “karma” has karma of its own. It sometimes has bad press because some people only think of karma as something bad coming back to punish them. It is really just the principle of cause and effect but it is not merely limited to an act like slapping someone and getting slapped back. Karma is also the sum total of all we have done and all that has been done to us.

3,276 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Your First Holiday Season After A Divorce or Separation

After a separation or divorce, the first holiday season can bring tremendous stress and sadness, in addition to feeling overwhelmed and frightened. Coping with loss and grief, coupled with changes in familiar patterns and traditions, can magnify your feelings about the separation or divorce during the holiday season. Up to this point, you may have felt you were making progress in moving on with your life, but the holidays seem to emerge with feelings of grief all over again!

2,883 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***What’s Working and What Isn’t? 5 Ways to Get a Jump Start on a Fight-Free Holiday Season

With the holidays around the corner, and before the stress and panic really hit, make this a time to look at your relationship and take inventory to see what's working and what isn't. Begin to NURTURE your relationship NOW, in new and more effective ways, so that the holidays can be a time of closeness and connection, rather than fighting and resentment.

2,598 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Giving Up the Fantasy of the Perfect Mate, What REAL Marriages Are All About

We all seem to think that we need to find our perfect mate or soul mate. But does a perfect mate even exist and, if so, does this mean that the only way to be happy is to find this perfect soul mate? What if you don’t? What if you spend your entire life looking, only to end up alone in your fantasy delusion because you didn’t find him/her? Are we really searching for fantasy in our relationships?

2,574 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Won't Talk To Me After A Fight: After An Argument Comes Silent Treatment

My Husband Wont Talk To Me After A Fight: After An Argument Comes Silent Treatment While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional. The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. It can make the difference between a really great relationship and a breakup looking for a place to happen. With that notion in mind, let's take a look at five styles of handling conflict, along with alternative solutions for each. Ready-Fire-Aim These folks are the shooter

2,441 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
When to Be Aggressive

Is an aggressive communication style always bad? Sometimes it appears that much of the information about aggressive styles or dominant personalities is presented using fairly negative words. Or is it that I interpret these words as negative? Here is a list, what do you think? • Domineering • Hostile • Uncooperative • Confrontational Of course I have a bias. So do you. We all come from different perspectives and different styles. These styles are shaped by our personality type, our preferred behavioral styles, how we deal with conflict and our cultural and emotional backgrounds.

2,289 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
It's OK to Change Your Mind

Jarrod listened to what the team had to say and then he reached a decision. He was very comfortable making decisions and most of his decisions played out well for him and for his team. His decision making style typically involved soliciting input from his most trusted team members and then using that information to determine an action plan. His team knew how he liked to work, so they understood what to expect.

2,227 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***A Year Without Arguments? 3 Proven Steps to Stop Fighting and Start Healing

Have you ever considered a year without arguments? In these times of economic chaos, it is more important than ever to minimize your fighting and disagreements, and create a more harmonious relationship with your spouse and family. Couples simply cannot afford to divorce as easily during a recession, but with some new intentions and techniques, a failing marriage can be salvaged and healed.

2,156 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
When Family and Friends Hate Your Significant Other

When friends and loved hate your significant other, it can be a major disappointment. There’s no doubt that this can be a painful issue, since conflicts are always waiting to happen. The situation can make you feel as if the people who matters most in your life are disrespecting you by disrespecting your darling and your happiness. This type of relationship dislike is not something new, and it is sure to cause deeper problems such as stress in the relationship. It may be su

2,133 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Being Your Brother’s Keeper means Stepping Up Spiritually!

Stepping Up Spiritually is a basic element of being on any Path of expanded consciousness. It is really for each of us to interpret what being my brother’s keeper means in our daily lives. Fortunately, it is one of those phrases that needs little in the way of basic explanation. It is the unexpected events in life that provide opportunity for us to truly put it to work. Tomorrow, a neighbor may fall down the steps and need physical assistance.

2,072 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Narrow YOUR Focus, Increase YOUR Impact

I do not know about you, but every once in a while when I think about all of the different causes I could join I start feeling overwhelmed. We have so much to do for our planet, our creatures and our people. Where do I start? Where do I place my focus? How can I make a difference? Then I remember this quote, a quote I love and use: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead

1,997 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Seven Ways to Ruin Your Marriage

Unless someone is completely vicious, no one enters a marriage with the intention of destroying it, yet the divorce rate gets higher every year and couples, even if they don’t divorce, are often unhappy and in loveless marriages. By being aware of what you may be doing in your marriage that could eventually destroy it, you can create a successful and flourishing relationship:

1,984 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Want More Sex? Here's How!

Regardless of what you may think. Sex happens in the brain. Our ability to feel desire, the things that turn us on, the things that make us reach climax all happen in the brain. So, if you want more sex, it’s reasonable to assume you should know more about the brain. I’ll give you the primer ...

1,958 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Sex and Marriage: An Oxymoron?

It’s not a joke; most married men I know claim to have less sex than they did when they were single. This seems to be confirmed by the Durex Survey (2001), since couples living together claim to have sex 146 times per year, while married couples make love only 98 times per year. Yet going from ...

1,930 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Good Sex on the Brain

I have a little experience with bad sex. I’ve been married three times. This last one took. To tell you the truth my first two husbands would say my current husband was lying if he told them how often and how amazing our sex life is. Honestly, I have been one of those fortunate women who have ...

1,888 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
A "ME" Revolution

I was reading an article the other day about how heart disease is on the rise in women. This comes as no surprise as women of today juggle such a wide range of responsibilities – careers, families, finances, continuing education - that they tend to allow their health and well-being take a back seat. They function on fumes, and at the end of the day, they feel tired, unfulfilled and out of balance.

1,840 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Love in Action

What does it mean to tell someone “I love you”? How many times have people said that to you in your lifetime? The words are great to hear. They make us feel all warm and mushy inside. Of course, there are different kinds of love. Our minister may say “I love you” but it means something ...

1,832 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
An Alte ative to New Year's Resolutions

What’s wrong with New Year’s resolutions? Is it because the word “resolution” has become associated with superficial, lofty goals that fade almost as quickly as our hangover from the New Year’s Eve celebration? Or could it be that there is simply no time betwee Thanksgiving and New Year’s to do any serious goal-setting—given all the holiday parties, family obligations, and end-of-the-year work deadlines that must be met?

1,763 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
The Art of No

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false yes, it will help you develop clarity about your intentions and it really sets you free.

1,744 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***The Downfall of Fall

As summer ends, we see the light changing and the days becoming shorter and shorter. That fall chill in the air seems to come out of nowhere, and we often begin to sense sadness and maybe even depression, prompting us to think, what’s that all about? Though fall is beautiful with the leaves changing color and the grapes being harvested, it is FALL, the ebbing part of the year. For me, fall made me sad and depressed because it represented the end of summer fun and a new year of school to tackle.

1,741 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Before, During, and After: How to Declare a Truce at the Holiday Dinner Table

With the holidays fast approaching, our emotions seem to jump all over the place. We’re excited, anxious, stressed, because there’s so much to plan, and we want the holidays to be perfect. Yet, the thought of the holiday dinner quickly reminds us of past events that have been anything but loving and peaceful. Most families have some kind of history of arguments that seem to erupt at the yearly holiday dinner table.

1,740 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Bad Company

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” - George Washington Other people do form opinions about you based on your group associations. This is also why good employees leave bad teams. They simply do not want to be associated with a group that has a bad reputation. They rarely hang around to try and improve that reputation; they get away from it as fast as they can.

1,709 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Starts Fights Then Blames Me: Husband Wife Fight Solution

My Husband Starts Fights Then Blames Me: Husband Wife Fight Solution In a relationship it is important to establish rules for how to handle conflict. A conflict occurs when two people want different things at the same time. Here are seven rules that will greatly help when trying to resolve conflict. 1. Be Fair If you are in a committed caring relationship what matters is that you resolve differences in a way that both people are OK. If winning at any cost becomes the most imp

1,690 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Tolerance Can Be Overrated

(....or why conflict avoidance, under the guise of tolerance, can be a dangerous thing.) I was once asked to support a man who had been sent to prison for carrying out a violent attack on his neighbour. He was referred to me to see if I could help him with what was considered to be some ...

1,690 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Seven Keys To Lasting Love

It doesn’t matter how excited you are about your partner if you can’t stay on the same wavelength and keep a connection over time. Finding the right person is really less than half of what it takes to stay connected with someone. In working with couples and families over the past ...

1,687 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Power, Power, Who's Got the Power?

All of us seem to have a craving for power. We call are driven to get control over the situations we find ourselves in, and mostly, of our partner. If she would only do what we want her to do, if he would only do what I need him to do, then life would be better. While in some ways, these ...

1,657 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***A Healthy Marriage Doesn’t Happen Out of the Blue: Five Must-Do Secrets that Really Work

We seem to prepare for everything in our life – jobs, exams, etc. Why then don’t we prepare for a successful marriage? According to divorce statistics, it is estimated that between 40 and 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce in the United States. Without realizing it, most couples have unrealistic ideas about marriage perpetuated by fairy tales, movies, and fantasy novels. These misconceptions about love can render a couple helpless to resolve conflict, creating trouble and havoc when it suddenly appears in the marriage.

1,642 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
I Slapped My Husband In The Face: I Punched My Husband In The Face - I Hit My Husband When I Was Drunk

I Slapped My Husband In The Face: I Punched My Husband In The Face - I Hit My Husband When I Was Drunk Imagine that we run an experiment. First, I inject you with a mix of all the chemicals your body naturally produces when you are under stress, whether it's a near miss on the highway or a fight with a store clerk. We wait for the chemicals to take effect, which happens rapidly. Now you're feeling this chemical cascade-your pulse is rapid, your breathing shallow. Also, your b

1,638 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Have We Gone Too Far with List Making? 5 Reasons to Hang On or Let Go of Your Latest Love

We’re a cult of list makers. We make to-do lists, grocery lists, packing lists, and now a list of must-have qualities for our potential partner. She needs to be independent, yet be devoted; he needs to earn a good living, yet have enough time for her. He needs to have follow-through on his promises; she needs to not be demanding. And on it goes. If some of these qualities don’t appear right away, do you end the relationship? Or how long should you stay if all the items on your list aren’t there?

1,593 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Be Skeptical

Be skeptical but learn to listen. This seems like an interesting agreement to use in navigating today’s world. By agreement I mean a treaty or contract that you have made with yourself. I can’t take credit for this idea; it comes from ‘The Fifth Agreement’ by Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz. Whether you acknowledge it or not you use agreements in each aspect of your life – personal and professional. You believe that you cannot write or that you cannot handle stress. These are agreements and based on them you make decisions.

1,589 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Strategies to Stop Fighting and Start Loving During the Holidays

Are you tired of feeling stressed and angry during the holidays? Do you want this special time of the year to be filled with peace and joy? Do you wish for a fight-free holiday season with your loved ones? Make your Christmas wish come true by following these simple guidelines that will turn your holidays from tense and stressful to peaceful and loving: 1. Write down your recurrent, usual, and predictable fights about the holidays. For example, “Mom always wants me to come to her house first and gets mad if we go to my in-laws’ house before hers.”

1,579 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***6 Tips for Resolving Your Thanksgiving Hassles NOW

He says no…she says yes. She wants to go to her best friend’s for Thanksgiving dinner, he’s firm about going to his parents’. She wants a change…he wants the same. Suddenly you’re not feeling thankful for anything at all. Sound familiar? So, how do you put the thankful back into Thanksgiving? How do you come to a middle ground with your partner, your family, and yourself?

1,577 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Thinking Alike or Not Thinking?

It sure is easy when everyone agrees with you and tells you what you want to hear. But sometimes what we want to hear is not what we NEED to hear. This is when you need a dose of conflict or opposition or a contrarian. Unless you and all of your ideas are absolutely perfect 100% of the time, it is unusual for everyone to agree with you. If they do, is it because they are afraid to tell you what they really think? Are they apathetic? Or have you surrounded yourself with ‘Yes People’ who are too much like you?

1,544 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Authentic Leadership

Much like the lighthouse that provides guidance and direction for sea-bearing vessels, leaders must become the beacon of light in their own lives before they can effectively lead others. As we have come to learn, true leadership is not about a title or a position in an organization. Nor is it ...

1,535 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Save Your Marriage

Generally speaking we choose to go into therapy when we can’t figure out how to make our lives work by ourselves. Maybe we’ve been aware of underlying sadness that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what we do. Or perhaps we have started having panic attacks for no noticeable ...

1,519 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Avoid Communications Chaos

We have so many different ways to communicate with one another. We can pick up the phone and call using either a land line or a cell phone; we can send an email or a text using our computers or our various handheld devices and we can ‘tweet’ and ‘friend’ and make all kinds of connections AND we can still send a written note on an actual piece of paper. Does having all of these options make communications easier? Not necessarily. Sometimes we still experience communication chaos.

1,501 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
The Hidden Power of Archetypes

Archetype is a symbol, pattern and experience we engage our energy in based upon our culture and values assigned to it. Archetypes are very much universal in their raw form and our everyday language uses archetypal information. When we are ready to look at our life from the symbolic perspective of archetypes, we have to first deal with the conflict of whether or not we are ready to embark on a journey to ask questions which will challenge our ego field of energy and our intui

1,473 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Conflicted Priorities Equal Conflicted Behavior

It was 4:45pm and the requirements review meeting had already gone fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end time. Joe was becoming agitated. He needed to get out the door at 5:00 pm exactly in order to pick up his daughter from soccer practice. The meeting was not showing any signs of wrapping up. He let out a big sigh. He pointedly looked at his watch. Finally Joe blurted out “Who cares if the report displays in landscape or portrait format, just list the fields you need on the report and move on.”

1,464 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
With Loss Comes Gain: Bone Voyage

Wishing bone voyage to the hip of and to my hip 86-year-old Mom with slight dementia and 24/7 care created the immediate need for bringing to bear the weight of my coaching skills. These skills and coaching models are my immediate go-to place when facing tough situations and of course when working with business coaching and personal coaching clients. With Mom, I use the following skills most frequently:rn• Deep listeningrn• Meeting her where she isrn• Supporting her in

1,430 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Leadership: Seven Simple Steps Can Ease a Confrontation

By preparing appropriately and confronting honestly, you take more control over your professional destiny and demonstrate a rare leadership quality. Art was 58 years old when he realized that his company may have passed him by. He had been with the same employer for 35 years. Art still loved the business, enjoyed the young up-and-comers and genuinely respected his boss. But he didn't feel like the valuable contributor to his company as he was in years past and it bothered hi

1,429 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
People Do Not Leave the Company

“I disliked working with those people so much that I don’t even know if I hate doing this for a living or it was just those people at THAT place.” - Anonymous Unfortunately this quote or versions of this quote are not unique to any specific individual. Isn’t that sad? I have heard it on more than on occasion.

1,426 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Conflict and Relationship Stress - Watch Out For These 7 Trouble-Makers and Save Your Relationship

If you've ever been in a serious, committed relationship, you know that there will be stressful moments. Whether it's "Honey, you never do the dishes!" or "Why do I always have to walk the dog?" - there's bound to be a time when the two of you don't click perfectly. Don't worry - it's natural to get a little cranky every once in awhile. However, you've got to find a positive, constructive way to deal with your frustrations if you want to build a strong and healthy relationshi

1,415 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Hairs Looking at You Kid

There I was, brand new on the project, replacing a project manager who had vanished into thin air. I was beginning to envy him his vanishing act. I could see that the project had been ridiculously under estimated. I was not just new to the project, I was also new to the consulting firm I was representing. Oh and I had been told I would not be assigned to run any client projects until after three to four months of home office training and assisting other project managers.

1,403 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Comparisons

“Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside.” – Hugh Macleod It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod intends it to be used. (See http://gapingvoid.com/about/ to learn about Hugh). However, as he is all about being creative and has also written a book called Ignore Everybody I am going to proceed.

1,395 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Nobody taught me how to have boundaries… now what?

Boundaries can definitely be a tough thing to master, they also can have a profound impact on how we interact with others. For a lot of us, we weren’t taught how to have boundaries so it can be tough to figure these suckers out. Maybe the people that raised us didn’t have boundaries and modeled that for us. Maybe their boundaries were waaay out of whack and they taught us that it was actually bad or disrespectful to have boundaries… ladies and individuals that identify

1,387 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Where Did All Our Happy Feet Go?

Where Did All Our Happy Feet Go? Do you remember the feeling you used to get when you were little and saw a movie about the underdog overcoming the odds, a jou ey of believing in one’s self, or a movie that involved some magic and wonder? Don’t you still love the feeling you have ...

1,369 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Is it Worth It?

“Whenever you find yourself on the verge of losing your temper or falling into a bad mood, ask yourself, ‘Is this how I want to spend my day? Is it worth it to let this___________ (Fill-in-the-blank; person, situation etc.) take control of my day? Really?” – Margaret Meloni You are probably not surprised that the above comes from me. Yes, this is one of those points that I just will not give up. Perhaps you have sayings that you like to use or expressions that your family, friends and co-workers expect to hear from you. I guess this is one of mine.

1,367 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Is Your Anger Under Control Or Are You “Eating Your Heart”?

The ancient Egyptians had a fairly complicated process by which they were allowed - or not – to access what we might now call “Heaven” after their death. Among other things, they were to approach the gods of the Underworld with a series of negative affirmations: a recitation of all those things they had not done during their lifetimes. Sort of a reverse Ten Commandments as in “I have not killed,” “I have not disrespected my parents,” “I have not stolen.” And one of the negati

1,346 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Short Sale Success Secrets With Foreclosures

If you're active in real estate investing, you may already realize one of the biggest issues real estate investors face: Finding Great Deals. nnForeclosures at a 52-year High nnWith foreclosures at a 52-year high, there are thousands of deals available on the market, if you know where to find them and how to secure them. The first challenge you'll face once you locate the property is that most of these homeowners are mortgaged to the hilt. They have no equity, and big loan pa

1,344 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Wants Me Out Of His Life: My Husband Is Telling Me He No Longer Wants To Be Married

My Husband Wants Me Out Of His Life: My Husband Is Telling Me He No Longer Wants To Be Married There are two ways you can look at an unhappy marriage. The pessimistic way to look at it is to believe that the situation is beyond redemption and irretrievable. Any attempt to save your marriage would only be a self-defeating exercise. This is not only a fatalistic point of view but also demeaning to your own morale while continuing with the pain till the bubble bursts. However, t

1,340 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths?

“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work be perfect? He tried, he really did, but editing his own writing was just boring to him and not one of his strengths.

1,333 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Birds And Bullies

Conflict Resolution in the Bird World n(or how to find a win/win solution with someone who seems to be a bully.) I usually spend some of the Christmas period at my parental home in Surrey, South East England. Outside the kitchen window there is a bird feeder suspended from an apple tree. One ...

1,326 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***Bringing it ALL to Work

I remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really yell and maybe everyone in the room did not turn and stare at me and maybe I did not turn beet red. Or maybe some of this is how it really happened. In any case it was definitely one of my first lessons in how ALL of our various belief systems come to work with us.

1,314 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
The Art of No

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false yes, it will help you develop clarity about your intentions and it really sets you free.

1,311 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Mitigate the Risk Called YOU

Sometimes your behaviors support you and sometimes they do not. The key is to identify the supporting behaviors or opportunities so that you can use them more and to identify the behaviors that are damaging or the threats so that you can learn to prevent them. When you pay close attention to your behaviors you can learn what causes certain behaviors and what is caused by those behaviors. In terms of emotional intelligence I would say that being self-aware is what leads you to exhibiting self-control.

1,309 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
***The Intersection of EQ, Difficult People and You!

Question: What happens when you take someone with empathy and place them in a meeting with someone who is pitching a fit? Answer: The person who is pitching the fit gets lucky because they have someone in the room who understands that sometimes others get upset in the workplace AND someone who can probably help them gracefully stop pitching that fit. Let's try another one. Question: What happens when you take someone who knows they are tired and crabby and then you invite them to a meeting to tell them bad news? Answer: If they are self-aware and they can self-regulate then you sho

1,295 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
How to Be Wrong

I need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong.

1,289 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Please Interrupt Yourself

You know that interrupting someone when they are speaking is really rude. If you have children you have probably worked very hard to teach them to say “Excuse me”, before they break into conversations. What about interrupting you? I wish you would.

1,282 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Culture Is Everything

“The thing I have learned at IBM is that culture is everything.” Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. former CEO IBM Too often I have worked with people who have joined a new organization only to crash and burn. Too often a complete and total disregard for organizational culture has played a part in this unfortunate scenario. Here is what NOT to do: - Assume that because you were hired, you have something much more special than the people already employed at your new place of business - Complain about the way they do things, call them outdated or wrong

1,279 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How To Say Sorry To Husband After A Fight: How To Apologize To Your Husband After A Fight

How To Say Sorry To Husband After A Fight: How To Apologize To Your Husband After A Fight Conflicts are an unavoidable part of relationships. You can decide how to manage them and you can learn to pick your battles. But what happens when they are over? Do you apologize? Do you simmer in anger for a few days and then pretend nothing happened? What if you were not at fault for the argument? Are you sure? Before you decide that you were the injured party and your spouse is the v

1,279 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Conflict Management: Effective Tips to Resolve Conflict

Everyone experiences conflict in his or her life. It may come in the form of a disagreement with a spouse, co-worker, or a complete stranger. Whatever the case, as conflicts arise we must learn to resolve them effectively. This can be difficult because everyone has different ways of managing conflict. Some have a tendency to be very confrontational and want to resolve problems head on. Others may want to avoid conflict altogether or may beat around the bush. However, neither

1,278 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Legal Tips For California Construction Contractors

California construction contractors are in a profession that constantly remains in high demand. Because of the variety of projects that come their way and the often large scale makeup of many of them, it’s important that contractors have the proper contractor legal representation and are fully apprised of their rights. Here are some legal tips for California construction contractors.nn1. Hire the best contractor legal representation you can afford: This is not an area t

1,273 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Top 10 Workplace Dysfunctions and How to Terminate Them

The dysfunctional workplace is a killer. Untreated it will kill off your customer base, your profits, and your joy for living as surely as anything.n nAs managers, leaders and top executives within your organization you've got to kill the conflicts in your workplace first before dysfunction takes hold.n n The Top Ten Workplace Conflicts That Disrupt Organizations - and the Cure for Each n n No. 1: No teamwork n nThe best managers lead a team – not just a group of individual

1,251 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Learn to Speak Spanish

Study Spanish language to win all the competitions today. There isn't any getting away with that. Of course there are plenty of some other excellent good reasons to learn to talk Spanish language furthermore. Before committing to and time-consuming school classes, you have countless ways to discover Spanish on the web. Why do you want to find out to communicate Spanish language? Together with each day the world gets smaller and the population regarding Spanish talking people

1,250 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Keep Your Word

God wants to help you keep your word. Bible Numbers 30:2 Around 1300 years before the birth of Jesus the leaders of the Israelite tribes were gathered before Moses prior to entering the promised land. Moses reminded the tribe leaders that God had kept his word and they were about to enter the land that had been promised. Their lesson that day was to teach their tribal family the importance of keeping their word, like God does; to not make promises lightly and without intentio

1,249 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Off Your Game?

“Jason, did you know we were waiting for you in the conference room down the hall?” Jason looked up from his desk and then at the clock and realized that yes he did know. Somehow he just forgot. He spent most of yesterday afte oon preparing for this budget meeting. He felt really odd about being late, there was no specific reason for it, he just kind of spaced out.

1,203 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Declaring a Truce at the Holiday Dinner Table

With the holidays fast approaching, our emotions seem to jump all over the place. We’re excited, anxious, stressed, because there’s so much to plan, and we want the holidays to be perfect. Yet, the thought of the holiday dinner quickly reminds us of past events that have been anything but loving and peaceful. Most families have some kind of history of arguments that seem to erupt at the yearly holiday dinner table.

1,202 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Skills You Can Lea

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. - Brian Tracy

1,197 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
9 Tips for Navigating YOUR Office Party

It’s that time again, peace on earth and good will to all. Or at least it would be if you were not worried about those darned office parties. What are they anyway? Are they work or are they parties? Here are some tips to help you navigate the maze of professional pitfalls that lurk behind that innocent invitation to celebrate with your co-workers. Keep these tips in mind and emerge with your reputation clearer and stronger than ever before.

1,190 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Where Are You Coming From?

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “I have no clue what this person is talking about.” Maybe you even have specifically thought, “Where is this person coming from?” You were not questioning their place of origin. What you were questioning was their perspective.

1,168 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
That was a Decision, Really?

Tom was not surprised when Jacob and Marilyn asked for a private meeting with him. He had a hunch that some of the team was displeased with him. He thought of Jacob and Marilyn as ‘unofficial’ team leaders. They seemed to be the two people who his team members looked to for professional guidance. Tom had mixed feeling about his upcoming meeting with the two of them. On the one hand it would be a relief to find out what was wrong and on the other hand, well he was going to find out what was wrong.

1,165 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Your Boss is Human

This just in, you report to a human being! Whether or not she lets you see her human side or not, she has pressures, stresses, fears, and insecurities just like you do. So don’t think for a minute that just because someone has a director or a vice-president in their title that they have no worries. Take the time the time to understand the likes and dislikes of your management and do what you can to cater to them. There are some easy things you can do that some of the people around you are not doing.

1,137 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Stress Management Techniques to Use In Your Daily Life

People develop ways to cope with stress over their lifetime from past experiences, expectations and environment. Coping mechanisms are triggered once we assess a situation to be stressful. However, not everyone copes with stress in an effective way. Therefore stress management can help to develop health, productive ways to handle stress. Most people wouldn’t admit they can’t handle stress and deny they needed stress management. Even though more than likely we could all le

1,132 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Sending and Receiving

“But communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated.” Roger Sessions

1,121 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Insights from Spirit - Letting Go

Although I realized in a vivid, technicolor dream some years ago that everyone is part of my spiritual journey, the impulse to write, study and research is nevertheless so strong in me that I tend to be impatient with whatever gets in my way. So I am constantly seeking to balance my work, family, relationships and personal time. If you struggle with this challenge, too – and who doesn't? – you may find inspiration in this meditative writing, which I stumbled on while writing

1,111 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Conflict Management

“Never look who is right and wrong. Always look what is right and wrong.” – Prof.M.S.Rao nnWhen you look at individuals there will be involvement of egos and emotions. On the contrary, when you look at the issues there will be no individual preferences and prejudices. Better judgment prevails. nnSusan was working in a multinational company in India as an Human Resource (HR) Manager. Her role was to recruit the candidates for the company and to ensure smooth functioning

1,106 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Transvaginal Mesh Lawsuits Manages Medical Costs

Lately, the public has become more conscious of surgery mesh complications suffered by women after taking down pelvic organ Prolapse and stress urinary incontinence surgeries by making use of man-made mesh. This mesh is called upon by various names including transvaginal mesh, pelvic mesh, surgical mesh and bladder slings. Depicting women affected by transvaginal mesh malfunction complications following pelvic organ Prolapse (POP) or stress urinary incontinence (SUI) surgery.

1,097 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Add Value to Your House by Creating Visual Space

All homebuyers want as much house for their money as they can get. Many buyers are looking for a larger home because they've outgrown their current one, and especially desire more closet and cupboard space as well as larger rooms. nnVisual space makes your home appear larger by allowing the buyer's eye to move from one side of the room to the other without interruption, giving the illusion of more space and openness. In contrast, a cluttered room stops the eye repeatedly and

1,085 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Should I Sue? How Litigation Affects Confidence and Self-Esteem

So you've suffered an injury. Chances are, if you were on someone else's property or someone else was at fault, your friends and family have told you to sue. Should you? Assessing the Probability of Successful Litigation It can be difficult to assess who is to blame when an accident occurs. Before you jump into litigation, you need to honestly assess the situation. Just being on someone else's property does not automatically make them liable. Was the incident caused by someon

1,079 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Keeping Others Down

"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." Marian Anderson This is so obvious when you think about it from a physical perspective. If you were physically holding someone down, unless you have really long arms or really strong legs or some other technique; you have to adopt a posture which keeps you lower to the ground. I think this is only a good thing in wrestling or mixed martial arts fighting.

1,065 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How To Deal With Disrespectful In Laws: How To Deal With Toxic In Laws

How To Deal With Disrespectful In Laws: How To Deal With Toxic In Laws It's very important to have a plan for dealing with in laws because the annoying ones can be a real pain in your side.While it may be fun to daydream about some creative ways to get rid of your in laws forever, this type of thinking can only make things worse. Daydreaming does not make a situation better and will only result in you being more irritated with the present situation with your in laws. In this

1,052 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Somali Pirates in a Compassionate World

Does the young Somali pirate brought to trial in the U.S. create the perfect moment for the world community to take a deeper look at its own conscious? nnIf reports from Somalia are true that its coastal waters have been used as a dumping ground for toxic and nuclear wastes, and its fisheries have been overfished illegally by fishing trawlers from other countries who also practice illegal method to catch them, then its time for the world community to address these underlying

1,048 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How To Talk To My Husband After A Fight: What To Do After A Fight With Husband

How To Talk To My Husband After A Fight: What To Do After A Fight With Husband When people come to see me for help with their relationship they invariably say that they do not communicate. If I comment that of course they communicate it just is not in the way that they want to communicate I get a lot of affirmative nods. What each person really wants is the opportunity to express what he/she wants and to be heard. Communication between two people gets complicated because it i

1,014 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How To Stop Fighting With Your Husband: Constantly Fighting With Husband

How To Stop Fighting With Your Husband: Constantly Fighting With Husband Have you been quarrelling with your husband recently? What did both of you fight about? Finances, household chores, parents, affairs, kids....? It seems like both of you are fighting over almost everything and the bond is not as close as before. When quarrels become a perpetual thing, it brings resentment, sadness and hurt to the relationship. When things get worse, divorce will come into the picture. Ho

973 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Why whining is important

Make no mistake…whining is important. Each one of us has, at some time or the other, felt trod upon, unappreciated, been pushed around and/or taken for granted. We’ve experienced moments in which everything seems just too difficult to handle; moments in which we’ve felt helpless or even inadequate. Ultimately, all that these instances have to offer is physical, intellectual and emotional exhaustion. Perversely, there is irritation at a world which seems to be blissfully

961 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Top Ten Survival Tips to Sail Through a Crisis

Crises Leave Multiple Energetic Imprints The Chinese translation means both “danger” and “opportunity”. We live in a time of multiple global crises which can even more intensify individual crises. In the course of a well-lived lifetime one will experience serious, multiple crises. The all leave their significant traumatic imprints in our psyches and, I believe, in our energetic fields. Top Tips to Sail Through a Crisis The clinical diagnoses for this is literally call

957 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
An Office Guide to Supporting Mental Health

Britain has gotten more stressful in recent years for many people. Everywhere we look, there’s a new statistic to tell us just how miserable, burnt out, and fundamentally abandoned we are: one recent survey reported that only 13 per cent of people in the UK would say they are in good mental health. Let’s put some context in that statistic. The current UK population stands at 67,613,395*. If, on average, only 13 per cent of the population feels as though they are enjoying

948 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Conflict and Conflict Resolution

At some stage in almost all situations involving two or more people, there will be either explicit or covert conflict. How the participants or leader deals with this conflict has enormous importance for the future functioning of that relationship or group and its ability to function. Below are propositions about conflict that relate equally to groups, families, organizations and individuals. 1. Conflict is inevitable and universal - people are different with differing ideas,

931 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Human Design shows us our energetic blueprint by Align by Design

Align by Design uses an ancient mixed modern-science system downloaded by Ra Uru Hu, which includes astrology, the I Ching, quantum physics, the Chakras and the Kabbalah. Anxiety is a huge signpost and a red alarm for you to be diving deeper into your own alignment. There's a reason why you don't want to feel anxiety and that's because you're not designed to. Co-founder Amy Elizabeth states that in Human Design, you can identify places in a person’s chart where anxiety may po

925 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
The Things We Think but Do Not Say

Why do we hold back on saying the things that matter? In the movie Jerry Maguire, Jerry, played by Tom Cruise, has an epiphany in the middle of the night that ends up changing his life. In that moment he comes to the realization that his agency’s focus on getting more clients is completely wrong. Instead, he asserts, the focus needs to be put on the relationship with our current clients by providing more time, attention, and caring.

922 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
Sandwich Smiles

The Smile Sandwich is a positive way to give constructive criticism. Think about any smile you’ve ever seen. The happiest ones turn up at the ends, creating a “U” shape, right? That’s the “structure” of a smile sandwich. You start with something “up” (some positive observation about the person), then give them your piece of criticism (the low point of the smile), and finish with something else—another “up”, or positive statement. That way you “sandwich

918 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Is Mad At Me Wants A Divorce: My Husband Is Mad At Something I Did Wants A Divorce

My Husband Is Mad At Me Wants A Divorce: My Husband Is Mad At Something I Did Wants A Divorce You have probably stumbled upon this page because you are looking for a way to save your marriage and you feel like your situation is hopeless. You have tried everything but you and your spouse just cannot seem to find a way to save your marriage. Before you throw in the towel, you need to consider all of your options, even if they do seem a bit unconventional. Marriages face more ch

914 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Helping Difficult People See a Better Way

Today a terrible argument occurred in the hallway outside my office. It began when one of my coworkers became irate at my boss for not notifying him promptly that a morning meeting had been canceled. It was a very painful thing to have overheard. He was yelling and swearing, and not even pausing to listen as she tried to explain her side of the story. It made me angry that he ambushed her in such a vicious way on something so seemingly trivial, and also really annoyed that I

912 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Newlyweds Fighting All The Time: Marriage Tips For Newlyweds

Newlyweds Fighting All Time: Marriage Tips For Newlyweds General consensus from public seems to indicate that newly weds are happy and enjoying their newly formed marriage. However more often than not, this honeymoon period is only temporary for what followed next are challenges involving most couples. Think Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Although they both seem harmonious and happy, they ended up like many newly weds as their marriage did not last long. No one - not even t

897 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Wants To Leave Me: What Should I Do If I Can Make Him Feel Guilty About Separation

My Husband Wants To Leave Me: What Should I Do If I Can Make Him Feel Guilty About Separation I am leaving are words no wife wants to hear. They can tear you up inside, cause you to feel overwhelmed or absolutely angry. For some wives their husband's reasons for leaving just don't make any sense while for others they know exactly what the problem is but don't know how to cope with it. No matter why he is leaving, there are seven things you should never do when faced with a si

891 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
End Conflict Now!

How many times do we find ourselves in awkward, uncomfortable situations? How many times have you wished you could talk your way out of those little messes or better still, disappear? Ever wonder how confident communicators do it? Want to learn ways to manage conflict and still keep your sanity? This article will give you some communication tips to do just that.nnMost high level executives do not know how to handle conflict. Some respond abruptly; others simply ignore it. Eit

889 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
The Sailing Trip from Hell

The four-day trip around the Channel Islands, just off the coast of Southern Califo ia, started out like it was supposed to—calm seas, plenty of sunshine, and moderate wind speed of 18 to 20 knots. The channel was only about 35 miles across, which meant we would make safe harbor for the evening in five to six hours. The Backstoryr

880 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Financial Flocking and How To Keep True To Yourself

To explain not posting for the last ten days, I noticed that I was reluctant to admit that we just returned from a California vacation. That reaction seems strange considering in our small town it is an annual communal practice to head south or to the mountains when Montana State University closes its doors for spring break. Go to Moab, Costa Rica and Whistler the third week of March and you will be sure to cross paths with a Bozemanite. Vacation plans have always been standa

837 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Husband and Wife Fighting All the Time: Marriage Fighting All the Time

Husband and Wife Fighting All the Time: Marriage Fighting All the Time Lani had always been known as "the fun one". She found or made the fun wherever she was. Her sister told the story of the family vacation that came to be known as "The Vacation of Mud". The family had arrived at the lakeside vacation cottage to find that the lake had overflowed itself and surrounded the little cottage in a sea of mud. While the rest of the family stood in shock, Lani instead declared it a

833 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
My Husband Asked For A Divorce I Said No: My Husband Won't Say Why He Feels Our Marriage Is Over

My Husband Asked For A Divorce I Said No: My Husband Won't Say Why He Feels Our Marriage Is Over Though some say that they knew it pretty early on that their marriage was not working out, some couples are not that lucky. They fail to recognize the early signs of a marriage going sour and actually wake up when it is too late in the day for retrieval. But the main question still remains that when your marriage is over, what role should you play? Should you call it quits or give

826 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Successful Recruitment - Job Fairs

As the entire world struggles through some pretty tough financial times, the job market has become extremely competitive in virtually every industry. Today, it is not only difficult for people to get a decent job, but it is also very difficult for employers to find qualified candidates. Due to increased competitiveness, only the best of the best are successful. Employers are looking for people who can not only do the job, but have outstanding performance. Finding a good job i

732 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
Communication skills: what we should be aware of

"Isn't the weather terrible? Isn't it shocking? God, it's a beautiful day." How many times have we heard and responded to statements like this? Well, don't hit it, as nine-tenths of people couldn't start a conversation if the weather didn't change from time to time. Communication skills trainers define communication as the exchange of ideas and information through speech, writing, and behavior. The trainers in the communication skills courses affirm that communication is an a

728 viewsRating —
Read article →
Article
By SelfGrowth Contributor
How to Select the Best Face Cream for Oily Skin?

Living with oily and glossy skin becomes even more difficult in the rainy and winter seasons. People with this skin type start getting acne and pimples due to the clogging of skin pores because the skin cells do not stop producing their required quota of essential oils. This is a terrible situation to deal with. That’s why you need a specialized solution in the form of the best face cream for oily skin. And here is what you can do first to get rid of the nuisance- that ofte

674 viewsRating —
Read article →

Guide opening

One lead guide opening per topic

Each topic supports one lead guide. SelfGrowth reviews requests, reserves the slot, and publishes the guide when it is ready.

No slot is reserved yet. This topic is still open for applications.

1. Request

Explain why you should lead this guide.

2. Approval

If approved, SelfGrowth reserves the slot and opens the guide workspace.

3. Publish

Once the guide is ready, SelfGrowth publishes it on the topic page.

Your request

Apply as a contributor

You need an approved contributor account before you can apply to lead the guide for this topic.

Start your contributor application