Finding and Losing Inner Child Love: Mou ing to Morning and Back Again

Alas, the recent break-up of a nine year relationship was painful enough. But when my ex-partner’s daughter indefinitely suspended (if not permanently ended) weekly 3-5 minute Skypeing and my periodic visiting with her 3 ½ year old daughter (i.e., my ex’s grandchild), because the mother felt “confused” by the split (initiated by her mother) along with being “tired of saying ‘Yes’ when she wanted to say ‘No’”…well, the loss, pain, and grief go very, very deep.

Clearly, unconditional feelings were being shared with Charlotte, emotions that, sadly, at an early age in my life, were overrun by an invasive species – subterranean household tensions and trauma. Also worth noting, I’ve never had such a close and sustained relationship with a young child. Whatever is the opposite of the Pandora’s Box Effect (minus the final burst of hope)…that’s what my truly animated connection with Charlotte opened up in me. Here’s one way I know to keep a spirited if not spiritual love (as well as that proverbial hope) alive!
Goodbye Little Charlotte: The Pain and Promise of Inner Child Love

The Mother’s missile punctured a heartr
The Daughter’s bomb ripped it apart.
At the “last supper” we dined a la carter
Of course, for dessert – one poisoned tart:

“You and my mother drifted apartr
Now I’m at sea minus a chart…
No more horsy rides without the family cartr
Forget my daughter; try to be smart.”

Oh little Charlotter
Do we know what we know?
Oh what a joyr
To laugh as you grow.
The cards have been playedr
Alas, I must go…
Please never forgetr
I do love you so!

FORGET Lil Charlotte!!!...Oh No, bless her heartr
My “Bumper Jumper” – crazy love from the start!
“Man…smother your fire…give up the partr
Your ashes of grief just might leave a mark!”

Perhaps in heaven “better angels” will hark…
Charlotte, for you, my heart’s Central Park:
Please come and play; take flight on a larkr
Then down to earth to draw monsters with chalk.

Around the lake watching ducks as we walkr
Music to my ears your self-assured talk.
Oh let’s be silly – a moon howl, then a barkr
Such a pure love will make light of the dark!

Oh little Charlotte
I can’t come along.
How could sweet lover
Be viewed so wrong?
I pray that one dayr
You will hear this songr
And my river of tearsr
Will help me be strong!

Oh little Charlotter
Do we know what we know?
Oh what a joyr
You make my heart glow.
The cards have been playedr
Alas, I must go…
Please never forgetr
I did love you so!

© Mark Gorkin 2015
Shrink Rap ™ Productions