Finding Out How Interested He Is...And Why

Do you know how to tell if a man is interested in you...and why? In this article you're going to learn how. But first, I want to share something interesting I've noticed over the last several years studying and observing how men and women interact... It's that when lots of women start liking a guy, they seem to have NO IDEA how to figure out what he's really thinking or where he might see things going. So they start to feel nervous or even “out of control” with the situation and their feelings. If you've seen this, or even been there yourself, then you probably know what comes next... Often times, women will start to freak themselves out by over-analyzing everything the guy does... which only fills them with more questions, doubt, and even fear. And of course the man picks up on this... which causes a negative “psychological shift” to take place that makes things even more difficult. Translation -> The man consciously, or subconsciously, starts to close off from the woman as he senses her “negative emotional energy”. And hey...I know it's not “fair” for a man to do this (and him shutting off is also about HIS issues) but it's the reality of the situation. Women who learn to deal with these “realities” are able to actually change and improve the communication and connection they have with a man. While women who don't take the time to learn about and deal with these “realities” stay stuck in negative patterns of withdrawal, frustration, conflict and disappointment. So let me ask you... Have you ever seen or been in this kind of situation with a man where you were uncertain about how he was feeling and where he was at, but it only seemed to cause more tension instead of bringing you closer like you had hoped it would? If so, then there are a few critical SKILLS you could pick up that would change your love life and relationship for the better... Such as learning to tell the difference between a guy that wants to go out because he's just physically attracted to you and a guy who is open, able, and looking for something more. That way, you'd be hundreds of times more likely to find and attract the right kind of guy right from the start. Or another skill... When you do find a good guy, learning the specific ways to communicate with him so that he opens up, shares, and listens. That way, you'd be speaking HIS language, and he'd quickly feel more intensely attracted, close to you, and emotionally “connected” in a deeper way... instead of you just “winging” it and thinking that you intuitively know all the answers because you know how things work for YOU. So... do you know these skills of identifying good men and communicating with them in their language? And do you know how to put them to use in your love life to start living the relationship you're after...right now? If not, then I STRONGLY RECOMMEND that you keep reading... THE “WEAK” APPROACHnTO GETTING CLOSE WITH A MANnTHAT LEADS TO MORE WORK AND LESS LOVE After spending literally years studying, thinking, and observing how men and women think about relationships and the way they communicate with each other, I've noticed something FASCINATING... Lots of women have a commo “strategy” or approach to men and relationships. There are several common strategies, by the way, but this one happens to be the one that I see the most of and it often causes the women who use it unavoidable pain and frustration. It's the strategy of “Compensating.” I'll give you an example of how this strategy usually comes up and how it works... One of the common things that men do is to get involved quickly, intensely, and deeply with a woman when they first meet. The man has strong feelings and emotions that seem to carry them away and make them do and say things that are more emotionally “open” and “risky” than they would be at other times. But eventually the man's “everyday” emotional state or emotional world catches up to him, shifting him back to the way he has felt most “comfortable” in his life - not sharing, opening, or “risking” much.nn(A woman's uncertainty about a relationship, and the doubt or fear that comes from this, can also trigger this shift in a man.) With this happening, women often intuitively sense the “shift” in the man and become conscious of how he has changed - as he starts to talk and act differently. It's here that lots of women get FREAKED OUT and even feel REJECTED by this shift in a man's behavior. And here's where the weak strategy of COMPENSATING comes up... To try and get things back to the way they were, or the way they know is more open and healthy, women often try and make up for what the guy isn't doing. They do things to try and make him happy or more comfortable, change things in their own life that they shouldn't to accommodate him, and make EXCUSES for his shortcomings and distant and un- involved behavior in all kinds of social situations with friends, family, etc. Recognize anything about “Compensating” yet? Well then, you know that sooner or later, if you try Compensating, you'll become drained, frustrated, and maybe even resentful. By trying to hold things together in the relationship and not getting much back, you'll realize that the man isn't there with you, and might even be doing and sharing less than before as he senses your frustration. And it's here that women often pull away and become more distant themselves. The common example of this is when a woman is visibly withdrawn and the man asks her, “What's wrong?” Obviously there's a LOT that's wrong and the woman wants the man to recognize it for himself. But he doesn't...so she says, “Nothing is wrong...” in a cold, unfeeling tone of voice. If you've been a “Compensator”, then you already know that Compensating doesn't change a man or make him any happier or more open. And it ABSOLUTELY doesn't make YOU any happier. Catching on here? Good. A man is RARELY, if EVER, going to magically become more CONSCIOUS and find the ability to recognize and appreciate the value of what you're doing for your relationship when you take on the role of the Compensator. Most men just don't “get it” and they don't appreciate or understand what it is you're trying to do by Compensating. Now, there IS another way that actually WORKS for BOTH of you... SPEAKING HIS LANGUAGE, TEACHING HIM TOnSPEAK YOURS, AND LEARNING THE SKILLSnFOR A LASTING CONNECTION So why do men act this way? Why do they make it so difficult to open up and share what's going on inside? Is it because they're completely incapable? Obviously not...but they are DIFFERENT! With lots of men, they've been taught or “conditioned” that consistent, emotional, and intense displays of interaction are actually a sign of weakness... even though this couldn't be further from the truth. While women, on the other hand, seem to have a natural understanding of the beauty and the power of emotional connection... and they are often valued and encouraged for their “emotional intelligence” and ability to relate, share, and understand. So what does this mean? Well, remember the question from the beginning of this article? “Do you know how to tell if a man is interested in you...and why?” Here's the thing... If a woman tries to Compensate for things that a man is doing in a relationship, often times she's avoiding the REALITY of where he's at, how he is, his level of emotional maturity, etc. Compensating is often a temporary scotch-tape fix, trying to cover up or avoid the recognition of something deeper. The way to tell how interested a man is and why, has two critical parts to it: 1. Use Your Intuitio Listening to your intuition is NOT unique advice. I get that. Lots of women use their intuition in one way or another. But here's what IS powerful... Learning to turn your intuition on so that it's there for you when you need it... and taking the right meaning out of what it tells you. To use your intuition, you need to get into the habit of consciously asking yourself the direct questions that you want answers to. Do this at the beginning of the day...and then go on. This “primes” your subconscious mind to process your question. But be VERY CAREFUL. What you ask is what your mind will pay attention to. So let me be clear: You want to ask POSITIVE QUESTIONS that direct your mind to finding CONSTRUCTIVE clues, meanings, and outcomes for you. In other words, if you want to understand more about what's going on with the guy you're dating...DO NOT ask, “Why doesn't he like me as much as I like him?” The entire context of this question, and the beliefs behind it, are NEGATIVE and destructive. Instead...ask, “Is he interested in the kind of relationship that I want?” Or... “Is there something going on for him personally that is keeping him from being able to be present with me or be emotionally involved?” See the difference? 2. Learn How To Communicate With Men For Real, Constructive, Positive Results Are you good at communicating with men? Or more specifically, with men you've been in relationships with in the past or with the man that's in your life right now? And if not, who's fault is that? The amazing thing that I've discovered is that most people THINK that they are great communicators. But they don't seem to get any RESULTS with their communication. Guess what? If you aren't getting some of the results you're after, then your communication skills SUCK. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but it's for your own good. Communication = The Response You Get Think about that for a minute... Hey...don't stop. Keep thinking about it for 30 more seconds... I want you to find your own understanding of what it means. Got it? Ok, now let's talk more about good communication. What people usually mean when they say that they're great communicators, or that they know how to talk to people, is that they say exactly what they're thinking and feeling all the time. Just so you know, this is NOT a leading trait that makes up a great communicator - or even a good one. But wait! Am I saying to not recognize or respect your feelings and emotions (as though you could just hide them away)? NO. Being IN TOUCH with your feelings is GOOD. But throwing them out when they come to you, not “filtering” them, and putting no conscious thought behind how the other person will hear and receive your words, is VERY BAD. You HAVE to consider your audience. Which, in this case, is a man, with his own way of seeing, being, learning, and understanding. I've spent literally years studying how people interact, communicate, understand each other (or don't), and the silent and subtle things that are going on beneath the surface that say WAY MORE than we believe they do. One of the most important things that I've realized (and had to personally learn again and again) is that just because I understand or see something clearly in my own mind, DOES NOT mean that I can quickly help someone else see the same thing I see or understand. But we so often expect the opposite to be true. And when it's not, we quickly become frustrated and want to blame the other person for not paying attention or listening. TONS of women spend days, weeks, or months analyzing, processing, and discussing a thought or idea that they have about a man or about their relationship. And after all this, they come to a conclusion, having the benefit of all the wisdom they've gathered over time, and present their thoughts to their guy. And then what happens? Most of the time, the woman expects the man to listen and VERY QUICKLY understand what she's talking about, what it means about him and their relationship, and how it makes her feel and why. And how does that usually work out? Right. If you think about this situation for a second, you'll realize a few important things: 1. The man didn't have the benefit of all the time and discussion/analysis that the woman hadnn 2. The woman is expecting her communication to give him a perfect view and experience of what it's like to be hernn 3. The man might have less of a natural ability to pick apart and understand relationship dynamics and emotionsnn 4. The man probably sees things differently and has his own perspective (right or wrong) So why am I telling you all this about communication? And what does it have to do with knowing how interested a guy is in you... and why? Well, people rarely understand what we tell them in the way that we understand it ourselves. Men included. In fact... especially with men. And I recognize the challenge that you, as a woman, have with a man.... Often times it's very difficult to know what's going on with a man because he will RARELY, if EVER, come out and say exactly how he's thinking or feeling. Especially if it has to do with a woman. And ESPECIALLY if it involves a difficult, tense, or potentially negative emotional situation. Most men in this situation will simply AVOID CONVERSATION and CONNECTION to try and hide their feelings, hoping that it will all just go away and they won't have to “deal with it”. Want to know one of the greatest SECRETS to dealing with this in a way that will free you of the burden of blaming yourself, Compensating, and other self-destructive and hurtful behaviors? Start learning how GOOD COMMUNICATION really works. Oh, and here's a little inside tip that should make you feel better if this sounds like a “not so valuable and secret” secret... Once you learn to start communicating in a way that actually WORKS and gets results with a man, guess what other “magical” benefit this brings with it? You being an effective communicator will in turn also help make HIM become a much better communicator. And yeah, I know that it almost sounds too simple to be so powerful and real. IT'S NOT. Don't cheat yourself out of this. I wish I could give a quick tip for this one, to say this or that, and it would work its magic charm and you could be on your way with everything you need to know...right now. But I'd be lying if I tried to give you some “quick-fix”. Great communication is something you have to learn. But... I do have a TON of amazing shortcuts and insights on how to help you do this. Becoming a great communicator will lead you to learn how to tell the difference between a guy that wants to go out because he's just physically attracted to you...and a guy who is open, able, and looking for something more. And becoming a great communicator will give you the head start and the insights you need when you do find a great guy and you want to make sure that you have a relationship where you both open up, share, and listen. Of course, if this sounds like too much work, and you want men to do this “inner-work” so that you don't have to...be my guest. Leave it up to him. Maybe the perfect guy will come along and make it all different for you. Maybe you'll finally get your guy to just start “getting it“ and change...after all the time you've spent trying, without results. Or... You could take your love life into your own hands, learn a few things that will help you GROW, and be on your way to something better for the rest of your life. If you want to take the next step, then I've got it here for you...my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”. It is THE GUIDE to success with dating and being in relationships with men - if you're looking to stop wasting your time and find a deep, lasting, and real connection, that is. You can download your own copy and literally be reading it in two or three minutes from right now. My eBook is what I consider to be the world's best single, abridged reference guide to men, dating, relationships, and COMMUNICATION for the modern woman who's ready for positive change in her life. Chapter Seven of my eBook, which builds upon the social and psychological foundations I lay out in earlier chapters, explains in detail the way to communicate with a man in the most direct and influential way - through your behavior...an act is worth a thousand words. I explain exactly how to actually CREATE ATTRACTION as you interact and communicate with a man, instead of pushing his buttons that lead him to withdraw or distance himself. TONS of women make the mistake of not learning how ATTRACTION actually works... And most women don't realize the importance of learning to communicate with your words and body language so that the critical moments in relationships, such as discussing commitment, become MAGICAL MOMENTS that he will always remember, instead of conflicts that he'll always regret. In Chapter Eight, I explain how to communicate with men specifically on the potentially “dangerous” topic of commitment and “where things are going”. I even outline a step-by-step way to connect with a man that will have HIM leading YOU in the conversation of how to become closer in the future. I call it “Pushing His Secret Communication Button.” If you read my eBook, like thousands of other women have, it will change your love life for the better...forever. I get lots of email every day from happy, excited women who've found that special relationship with the help of my eBook, or have changed the challenging relationship that they were in, and it's love all over again. I promise that after you read my eBook, you'll be sitting around telling your friends that they HAVE to read it - and you'll start to bug them, knowing that they're missing out if they don't. I'm so sure that it will change your love life for the better that I'm going to do something a little unusual right now... If you go to the link below, I'll let you download my eBook right now without paying a single cent. I want you to dive into the book over the next week and tell me what you think. If you aren't 100% ABSOLUTELY thrilled with the eBook, then just email me and let me know and you won't be billed - plus you can keep the eBook as my gift just for checking it out. Otherwise, keep the book, continue to work with the concepts and exercises that are in it, and be on your way to your new love life, and I'll bill you after the week is up. It's so simple...you just need to take the next step. There's a new learning process and growth path that's waiting for you right now. I promise I'll make it worth your while. You'll have more love and connection in your life as a result. Go here to get your copy now: www.catchhimandkeephim.com/s=23548nn n n