Finding Your Why

We have a new year coming at us, and it will be here shortly. Think of all the possibilities. Think of all the good things waiting for you. Think of all the things you’re going to accomplish over the next twelve months. I’m sure you have a list of resolutions already prepared.

All too often, we write out our resolutions for the coming year, and file them in the garbage can shortly after the First of January. Our intentions seem to start out enthusiastic, but wane quickly with all the other things we have on our plate. We can’t seem to get the ‘how’ of our resolutions knitted into our agenda.

Someone once gave me a few great words of wisdom on this very subject. Once you determine what it is you want, figure out why you want it, and the how will fall into place. It’s one of the orders of the Cosmos.

Here’s an exercise to help you find your why. Take the first item from your list of resolutions, and write it on a separate piece of paper. You should do this with all your goals, but we’ll just focus on one for this exercise. The next step is to ask yourself why you want that item to come into fruition. Write the reason down. Next, ask yourself why that reason is. Write it down. Next, ask yourself why the previous reason is. Write it down. Do this at least four or five levels deep. The object is to get right down to the core motivation for your desire. Why do you really, really want this, and, do you really want it at all?

If nothing else, you may be surprised at what you find out about your particular desire. I was. I conducted this exercise with an all time favorite resolution, ‘I want to make a lot of money.’

I wrote down on a piece of paper, ‘I want to make a lot of money.’ In the first place, I should have specified an amount, and also specified a deadline, but that’s all another lesson for another time.

Next, I asked myself, ‘Why do I want to make a lot of money?’ I answered, ‘Because, I want to be able to pay for stuff when I want it.’ I wrote that answer down.

Next, I asked myself, ‘Why would I want to be able to pay for stuff when I want it?’ My answer, ‘Because, I don’t like being without things when I want them.’ I wrote that answer down.

Next, I asked myself, ‘Why do I not like being without things when I need them?’ ‘Because, I’ve already been there, and I’ve already done that, and I don’t want to go through it ever again.’

Next, I asked myself, ‘Why would I not want to go through ‘it’ ever again?’ I answered, ‘Because I’ve been cold, and I’ve been hungry, and I’ve worn rags, at the same time having other mouths to feed, faces to warm, and bodies to clothe, a burden on my friends and family.’

I will be honest with you, this particular exercise did conger up several unhappy memories. However, this was a small price to pay to get at the core ‘why’ of my goal. My analysis tended to indicate to me that my motivation was not necessarily to become flamboyantly rich, but to make enough money to be independent and free from excessive discomfort.

The point is, my core ‘why’ does not necessarily match my goal. I honestly would love to be filthy rich. I’d love to be able to run out on a whim and buy a brand new bass boat fitted with all the bells and whistles. Knowing my core ‘why,’ I am able to guide, and tweak it in such a direction that someday I may be able to do just that. However, for now, such activity, even on a much smaller scale, would contradict my core ‘why.’

Determine what you want from life; explore the reasons why. Fine tune your list. Get what you really want. You are spectacular.