Five Keys Things to Help Reduce Your Holiday Stress

Most of us are in the middle of holiday preparations. Unfortunately, for many of us, it is a time that becomes more and more stressful every year.

Holiday stress can negatively affect us in three areas--physically, financially and emotionally. When we are stressed we can become physically tired or sick; we go into debt and cause ourselves ongoing financial problems; and/or we get angry, frustrated, or irritated. Our relationships with our spouse, family or significant others suffer.

Obviously, none of these are good ways to celebrate the holidays!

Stress is almost always the result of having expectations about how things SHOULD be. Usually, if you are experiencing stress, it is because you have given these expectations more significance than they deserve. Many people expect themselves to create a "perfect" holiday. They become involved in trying to do too much. HOWEVER, THIS YEAR CAN BE DIFFERENT!

Start with the very important assumption: "I CAN'T DO IT ALL!" You will need to look for places where you can eliminate things that contribute to your stress.

1. Make a list of the things you had planned to do for the holidays. Include EVERYTHING you might need to do, such as decorating the house, baking Christmas cookies, caroling with a church group, attending holiday concerts, shopping for presents, cooking a big meal, etc. As you look at your list, identify which things are most stressful for you.

2. Identify your values. Think about what is really important to you over the holidays. Consider ONLY doing things that are consistent with these values. For example, if your goal is to spend a meaningful holiday with family, you might want to skip other holiday parties.

3. Share your goals with others. Find out what is important to other members of your family. You might discover that the things you thought were so important really aren't. Discuss the idea of reducing holiday stress. Enlist their support. Your family and friends might be happy to have you less stressed!

4. Make a plan to deal with the stress. Look for ways to simplify. Ask yourself the following questions: nn* Is this ABSOLUTELY essential to my goal?
* Could I do this another time? Would postponing it hurt?
* Could someone else do it? Could someone else help me with this?
* Is there an easier, faster, or cheaper way to do this?

Eliminate things that you find very stressful. Buy something to bring to a neighborhood party, rather than making it from scratch. Have a "potluck" Christmas Eve dinner, with each of your relatives or friends bring a dish. Choose not to send Christmas cards this year, but call or email people you really wish to contact.

Be creative. Be bold. It's O.K. to suggest that you draw names for gifts, have a "grab-bag", set a dollar limit, or not exchange gifts at all. Remember how RELIEVED you will feel when you can enjoy (rather than be stressed about) the holiday! Others might be relieved too!

5. Set boundaries. Don't let others talk you into things you don't want to do. If you aren't sure you want to do something, say "No" to it this year. If you can't or don't want to do something you've "always done," start your own holiday traditions. Remember, you can say "no" without giving a reason. You don't even have to tell them why you are saying no. You can just say, "Sorry, I'm not going to be able to plan the banquet this year."

YOU really are the one in charge of how much stress you'll have this year. Take some steps to make it the least stressful holiday you've ever had! nn(c) 2008 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D.