From my book, ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

I was talking to Nancy one day about men and women. We were talking about what divides men and women as a gender. I think many good points were brought up and I would like to share them with you in the context of the Warren Farrell quote:

"All women's issues are to some degree men's issues and all men's issues are to some degree women's issues because when either sex wins unilaterally both sexes lose."

Warren Farrell has impressive credentials. He is a writer; he holds several degrees from prestigious universities and has written many books about male to female relations.

We were discussing, among other things, women taking over male roles in everyday life. We also talked about men being willing to give up those roles and how that has damaged both sexes.

Women are less in touch with their feminine side and men are less masculine because we as a gender have allowed ourselves to be made less than what we are.

Women don’t trust us anymore as a gender. A quote I used earlier in the book says, “Real men are sadly lacking in this world, for when they are put to the test they prove worthless.”

Men, we need to step up and be men! Don’t allow your woman to do what we as men were born to do! We are physically stronger, so things like shoveling snowy walkways, heavy lifting, that kind of thing, needs to be taken over by us like it used to be.

Women, in your relationships, let the men be the man! Allow us to do what we as a gender are built to do. For us to be relied upon, you need to allow us to be men and to be masculine.

Men, do not take the male role lightly. You have to prove yourselves trustworthy. This is something I had to learn. Prove yourself to be reliable in the best and finest male tradition. We need to do away with the stereotype of us being unreliable, being cheaters and being insensitive to women’s issues. We can start doing this by exhibiting integrity in our thoughts and actions; by being reliable, faithful, true; and by being really engaged with our female counterparts.

Men need to learn how to be courteous and mannerly. Most importantly, learn to treat yourself with dignity and respect. Only then can you pass that respect along to your women counterparts.

Women, learn that men as a whole DO want to please.

Men have responded to criticism, quiet understandingly, about us being brutes, insensitive and uncaring by becoming exactly that. I contend we have become LESS MASCULINE in the finest traditions of what being a man is really all about.

Men have responded, unknowingly becoming less as a gender and afraid to offend. We have become the castrated, creating a lesser man, who is way too willing to give up traditional male roles.

This can and must be reversed.

To come alive and be whole, men need to be masculine and women need to be feminine. In this way, we can reach the full potential of what our genders can be. For us to create fulfilling healthy relationships, men need to live the male role. Men can do this by embracing the traditional male ways of showing love, care, gentleness and compassion to their partner. Women need to allow and expect men to express himself in these ways.

A woman who has lived alone may be less likely to relinquish traditional male tasks that she has undertaken out of necessity. Men need to learn to take over agreed upon tasks, as women concede those tasks back to us. This must be done with patience.

I say that men need to be MALE, be the MAN, setting the tone for the relationship. To do that, we must become ATTENTIVE, watching for things that need done, watching for the needs of our women and assuming the male role of healer of the psyche. We must become LOVING, being faithful, true and caring in a way that only a man can do. We need to become ENGAGED, as our role as setting the tone for the relationship dictates, we need to pay attention to what is happening in our relationships and do what we have to do to keep it running.