Getting Rid of the Self-Defeating Voice in Your Head

Let's talk a little bit about that voice in your head. Now I'm not trying to insinuate that you're any kind of crazy or that you're hearing things. I'm talking about the voice that we all hear that just LOVES to degrade us and make us feel rotten. This voice might say things like:

• "You're not good enough"
• "You're too fat"
• "You're stupid"
• "You're ugly"
• "No one likes you"
• "Who are you to being doing ____?"
• "No one will ever love you"

Now do you get the voice I'm talking about?

This voice leads eating disorders (like mine did), giving up on your dreams, and a general low quality of life.I like to call this your "ego voice" because your heart would never say such things. This "ego voice" is speaking to you in a way that no friend ever would. And if you DID have a friend who spoke in such a manner, what would you do? You'd rid yourself of that friendship and move on to a better, more supportive one, that's what you'd do!

So why do you let your own mind berate you? I'm willing to bet it's because you don't know how to stop it! That voice is like a soundtrack that just keeps playing over and over and over again and you have no idea where the pause button is. This voice also NEVER takes a day off. Not on your birthday, your anniversary, your wedding day, or when your first child is born. How is THAT for insistent?

As you can now see, shutting off this voice for good (or at least learning to tune it out a majority of the time) is a big deal. It's the difference between living a mediocre life and living an extraordinary life. So how do you tune it out? I'm glad you asked.

Some people turn to addictive activities such as eating, watching TV, or playing video games to tune the voice out. This is an option. However, it is probably not your BEST option. Here are some good options for you to try:

• Meditation. Clearing every thought from your head and sitting in complete silence helps to quiet the voice.

• Jou
aling. Write down what the voice is saying and get it all out. Then notice how each one of those things was a lie or a fear. Burn the piece of paper for the symbolism of it.
• Affirmations. Repeat mantras such as, "I am beautiful," "I am smart," and "I am loved" to yourself throughout the day.

• Mirror work. Stand in front of a mirror, look your reflection right in the eye, and tell yourself, "I love you, [insert your name here], and you're perfect just the way you are." Do this every day until you believe yourself. Then keep doing it.