Article

How many lovers will be sleeping in separate rooms this Valentine’s Day?

Topic: IntimacyPublished February 7, 2011

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Oh how you dread all the publicity around Valentine’s Day because even though you love your partner dearly, the intimacy and romance has seemed to have gone many years ago. Maybe it is because you sleep in separate rooms you think, but then you rationalize this by saying, it has to be this way so that you can both get a good nights sleep, because your partner’s snoring keeps you awake.

With over 90 million snorers in the US and some research indicating that one in four couples sleep in separate rooms, there is a good chance that for many, Valentines Day this year will be a non event like so many other years.

Snoring is the ‘silent relationship killer’ because couples are unaware of the harm that it is causing to their relationship until it is too late, and they are heading for the divorce courts. It starts off simple enough; you are exhausted because you can’t sleep after night after night of sleep deprivation caused by your partner’s snoring. You feel angry and frustrated as you feel that you can’t do anything about it but you feel desperate that you get some sleep because you can’t function the next day. So you either boot your partner out to the spare room or you move there yourself. You say it is only temporary until you catch up on your sleep and can think straight again.

But before you know it, sleeping in separate rooms has become the every night routine because you relish your sleep too much.

The problem is that you are not valuing your relationship the same amount. You soon forget about how the two of you used to each night, get into bed, and snuggle up together and talk about the day and the things that may be bothering you. The physical intimacy becomes less which is more obvious than the disappearing amount of emotional and conversational intimacy that is between you. So before you know it, it is like living with someone you love but not ‘in love’ with anymore.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. I believe that if more couples recognize that snoring is causing damage to their relationship and them together work on resolving the problem, then it never has to get to the point of sleeping in separate rooms.

There are so many stop snoring solutions on the market today and sometimes it takes trial and error until you find one that works. But at least you are both actively working together to find a solution while recognizing that your relationship is worth preserving.

This Valentine’s Day, why not agree to give each other the best present of all – restoring that love and intimacy back into your relationship and yes, sharing a bed together again. It may take time but we all know, good things often take time to create and when it happens, it is cherished so much more because you did it together.

Happy Valentine’s Day and may you keep loving each other for the other 351 days of the year too.

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