How to Deal With the Loss of a Newborn

Nothing in this world compares to finding out your pregnant. The miracle of life itself forming inside of you is enough to cause you pause. For nine months you are a special creation. Carrying around and growing a life inside you that will someday walk and talk is one of the most life changing moments.

No matter what the circumstances, or how many children you have already, the loss of that dream, that life is heart wrenching. If your baby was stillbo
or lived only a few days, you were bonded with this life. The dreams you had for this child the hope that came with his birth will forever be put up. What to do next, how to deal with this loss and how to move on weigh heavily on your mind. If you have older children not only do you have your own sadness to deal with, but you must help your children to deal with this loss too.

Your baby was, even if only in the womb, your child. You should find ways to remember his life, even though it was shortened by circumstances. If your baby was stillborn, take your time to hold him, touch him, kiss him and take pictures. If your baby dies sometime after birth, again take the time to hold him, grieve, and say goodbye.

It’s important to remember your baby in ways that are special to you.

Collect things that remind you of your baby.
These might be ultrasound pictures, footprints, a hospital bracelet, photos, clothes, blankets. Put them in a special box or scrapbook. Many hospitals offer castings of their foot or hands for you to keep.

Do or make something special to remember your baby. You may want to:

Light a candle on special days and holidays.

Write a poem.

Plant a tree or a small garden.

Have a piece of jewelry made, perhaps with the baby’s birthstone or ashes if cremated.

Get involved in a special project dedicated to your baby. For example, raise money to build a swing set in a park in your baby’s name.

No matter how you choose to remember your baby and to handle your grief, remember to take good care of your body, eating small meals until you feel stronger and getting plenty of rest. Keep a diary of your feelings, write letters to your baby, jot down thoughts and journal your emotions. This will help give you a release for all the emotions you are feeling and help you begin to heal from the loss of your little one.